Monday, April 21, 2014

Fist Yourself, Kane Colter

OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD
Before I go on my annual crusade against the idiots who want college athletes to get paid, please take a good luck at the picture above and understand what is happening here.  Two of my great loves: RedHawk Football and The BRAHs have finally combined forces!  Holy shit!  This is like a dream come true for me.  What do you think is going on here?  What does Jimmy and Johnny have to scream to a football team that just went 0-12?  Who exposed himself first?  Will Chuck Martin ever be the same?  How can we not go from 0-12 to 12-0 after the BRAHs coming to town?  This will forever be one of my favorite pictures ever taken.  They should put this on the ceiling at St. Peter's.

Anyway, you all probably saw NCAA President Mark Emmert embarrass himself on Friday when he went on Mike and Mike and started saying some really dumb things.  If you recall from the NCAA title game fallout, Shabazz Napier commented on how he often went to bed hungry because he doesn't have money and meal plan restrictions.  I can see this being an issue.  So the NCAA made athlete meals all-you-can-eat or whatever which is about the most literal that anyone could ever be.  Emmert then justified this change by mouth-queefing that "UConn can serve Shabazz breakfast in bed if they want to" which is about the shitheadiest thing that you could say.  LOL people that can't afford food, right?  What a cockbag.

It's odd that I could completely disagree with Emmert while at the same time being anti-Union, too, but here I am.  I've said it before and I will say it forever: college athletes get exactly what they should get now.  No, they don't deserve to be paid and they don't deserve employee rights either.  You hate reading about things like what happened to Napier but just handing over cash money isn't the answer.  Small steps that actually make a difference (like this weird meal plan thing) are.

Look, I get that these kid's hard work and labor only line the pockets of the schools.  It's probably not right but that's how it goes.  Hell, few schools actually make money on athletics anyway.  If you don't like it then go over to Europe or up to Canada.  You aren't forced to play college football/basketball.  Stop acting like this is their only option because it isn't.  People seem to want to overlook how expensive college is.  Please don't do this.  If you aren't cashing in on the ELITE opportunity of a free education and no goddamn debt then that is your fault.  It's why I don't sympathize with these kids.  If you are only using college as a way to get into the pros then fuck your asshole. 

That being said, the NCAA needs to ban the selling of numbered jerseys in bookstores and team shops.  They aren't helping their cause on that when you see 30K Broxton Milner jerseys on Champions Lane on a game day.  I could argue about this all day but I'll stop here.  Count me as one of the billions who are hoping that the NW Union gets voted down.
I hope that the plaque underneath tells where that fist has been.
Want to know how I know that my school is better than yours?  Answer me this: does your stadium have a gigantic BRAH statue in it?  It does not.  Mine does.  I would have maybe used a pose of John berating an official to tears, but this will do just fine.  I can't wait to take a selfie with this architectural beauty in the Fall.  I want to believe that Yager Stadium is now BRAH-friendly which means unlimited nut-tappings and roofies!  Seriously, though, you have no idea how excited I am that there is a John Harbaugh statue at my football stadium.  This is ELITE. I'm TOTES gonna ice Grumpy.

That will do it for today.  OBVZ a YUGE game 3 at NWA tonight.  We can talk about how great game 2 was in the comments.  As usual...CARRY THE FLAG!

51 comments:

Grumpy said...

I got my first erection of 2014 when I saw the pic of the BRAHS addressing the team. Whatever they said has to be good for 4 wins.

Randall Stevens said...

LOL at Shabazz Napier going to bed hungry. Don't these assholes get a stipend when they move off campus? And if that cash isn't enough then stay on campus and abuse that food plan. College athletes are being such cunts right now. What I would fucking give for no student loan debt.

And the guys with enough talent to have the university make their jersey for resale should be able to recoup that money and more at the professional level. Team G$. Stop acting like cunts. You're getting a free education at the end of the day. Consider that your compensation.

GMoney said...

My assumption with Shabazz is that the sometimes have evening practices and the meal plan they are on only works in dining halls that close at some point. At least that is the way that I took it. Might be that he just doesn't understand how dinner works.

If Terrelle Pryor (and people like that) is only going to use college as a gateway to the pros then I have no issue with the school selling his jersey number actually.

Morons just seem to glance over the FACT that these kids ARE BEING PAID. Walking out of there debt-free is worth tons more than the minimum wage that Anthony Rothman wants to give these guys (which is dumb).

The BRAH invasion nearly brought me to tears as well. They belong there.

GOTTA SEE IT LIVE!!! Jeff, don't let us down tonight. Get the dubya!

Jeff said...

That outcome on Saturday night was well worth the wait. I listened the first 3 periods of the game on the radio since I was on the way back home from an Easter gathering in Naptown. Made it home just in time to see the start of OT.

Bob Mcelligott doing Jackets play-by-play solo is terrible. By the sound of his voice, the game should have been 25-20 after 2 periods. To his credit it was a playoff game and he was doing the color also, but I couldn't help but think he might give Hammy a run for his money for his terribleness.

These 4 hours that I will be in office today will be worthless.

Defend NWA!

Nibbles said...

Here's a way to pay the players, while restoring competitive balance among all conferences:

1.) Assess a progressive tax on all Division 1 teams. Revenues generated at different thresholds will be taxed at higher rates. This way, the Alabama's and OSU's are paying a higher cut than the directional mid major's.

2.) Pool all the tax revenues into a bucket that is used to compensate all Division 1 scholarship football players.

3.) At the end of each season, compensate each player based off of time contributed to the program, as well as production.

This solves many questions that have been raised:

-How do you pay the third string corner versus the starting quarterback?

-How do you handle somebody leaving the program in the middle of the year while still paying him for his "service"

-How can mid majors afford to pay their players and keep up with the larger schools?

The US tax code works the same way and allows for "competitive balance".

Jeff said...

Bout to turn this into a political blog today....

GMoney said...

Not one goddamn board of trustees anywhere is going to be OK with getting their asses taxed for the good of Johnny Utah and people of that ilk. This will NEVER happen.

Here's something fun: you want to get paid, great, give up your scholarship then!

Bob McElligott is definitely weak on the call. He needs Jody (ELITE). CARRY IT! Saturday's game was just the best. After the first/worst period, we fucking dominated them. In FACT, we are outplaying them so far. I would have never thought that Dubi and Boooooooooooooooooone would completely negate Crosby and Malkin. Boone is all up in Geno's head. Way to get punked by a kid who might not be legally able to buy a bottle of beer yet.

Jeff said...

Prime, hopefully Toews beat the shit out of Seabrook in the locker room after the game, right?!?! Damn that hit was dirrrty.

Mr. Ace said...

So we all agree that these kids are being compensated already, to some degree via meal plan and scholarships, right? So what's the big fucking deal with them getting more compensation if their program generates MILLIONS? Because that is all we r really talking about.

And the college education shit is stupid. Yes, I average Joe student, would love to not pay for school, but I didn't possess the necessary criteria to make that happen...so I'm not going to compare myself as if we r equals in that regard. Also, it doesn't cost the university 30k per year to provide the college education, that's what they make normal people pay. That tuition is ridiculously inflated, so lets not act like the college is shelling out for education for these kids.

Another thing that I think is a good point is medical coverage. The 3rd string guard is out there practicing just like the starting qb. He is getting beat up daily for 4-5 years straight, there are obviously going to be physical consequences from that. Unionizing would improve these players medical coverage beyond college.

Or legalize the bag men and let the players get whatever they can get before committing.

Prime99 said...

"If Terrell Pryor (and people like that)..."

Black people?

Seabrook's hit turned the tide of the game having the lead in BOTH games with under 2 minutes to go and losing each game is crushing. However, the Hawks are battle tested and have put themselves in worse holes previously. Hopefully Toews swirlied Seabrook and sent a message to the locker room.

I will say that paying athletes in a capitalistic style already happens, just don't get caught! Paying college athletes in a socialist style would be fucked up. Sorry Gymnastics, you don't get Football money.

GMoney said...

Then don't play college football. Ended that debate.

Guess what, everyone? Your boss/company makes way more than you do even though you do more work. This is how America works and why everyone wants to have the big office. College sports is no different at all.

Take college seriously and actually accomplish something in the classroom. It isn't hard.

Prime99 said...

Real life is way harder than going to class, playing sports and getting pussy (or butthole, Michael Sam) for being a college athlete.

Nibbles said...

"Take college seriously and actually accomplish something in the classroom. It isn't hard."

Eh, you're in no position to say that unless you've been a college athlete and have the weight of playing D-1 football on your shoulders. Dan Hawkins reminds you that this is not intramurals.

Anonymous said...

Pay college affletes but take away scholarships. They can get financial aid like the rest of the nation. See how they love that debt when they graduate.

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

"Take college seriously and actually accomplish something in the classroom."

But all of these athletes are in a system that doesn't reinforce that idea.

GMoney said...

I think that we can all agree that the system sucks and it is definitely broken but giving 18-22 year old idiots a blank check isn't the answer.

Jeff said...

The only way really "paying" athletes will ever happen is if enough of the power house schools get together and say they're going to break away from the NCAA and play by their own set of rules in a new formed "league".

Anonymous said...

And how about that Battle on Saturday? I'm in NC with my family, but that didn't stop me from changing it over to the game during overtime (I did spare them the 3-1 comeback, though I watched from my phone intently). During OT, my sister in law who hates all sports came to my defense and my family was MISERABLE while I Carried the Flag.

My mom made some comment about how the Red Wings beat Boston. Awful.

If Jeff goes and we lose, its his fault.

Dragons later!

Ide

GMoney said...

Even if some monster conference is formed, they just can't do whatever they want to without the GUBMINT butting in first. I just don't see "paying college kids" ever happening.

Some black dude at The Stube actually had the nerve to ask 22 what TV had Hawks/Pacers on! I about shit a brick.

Daniel said...

I think the whole thing about a star player on a major D1 program complaining that he goes to bed hungry is ridiculous. Back in my day, not only do these guys (scholarship players) get training table, which was all you can eat about 4 times a week, they were also given a $1,200 per month stipend to pay for rent and food. They did not have to worry about tuition or books because that was all FO FREE. They also rarely had to worry about their purple dranks either since most bars would let them in and hook them up. My guess is that this dude is spending his stipend much like some of my former teammates, using it to finance their Cadillac Escalades rather than buying the necessities. I consider this another indication that our society is turning into a bunch of whiny bitches. During my walkon days of college athletics – I managed to commit 25 hours a week to class/study, 40 hours a week to practice/lifting, and about 15 hours a week to a part time job. I still managed to maintain my sexy 290 lb physique during the duration of my collegiate days.

Anonymous said...

I've got zero issues with what they receive and no problem with them adding ELITE food to it now. I think them asking for more is just greedy tho.

Wings and Jackets both steal home ice...will be interesting to see how both do at home. My buddy is a Jackets season ticket holder and threw a party for the game on Saturday...twas a good time.

--Drew

Randall Stevens said...

"Guess what, everyone? Your boss/company makes way more than you do even though you do more work. This is how America works and why everyone wants to have the big office. College sports is no different at all."

/slow fucking clap.

GMoney said...

I know that we have this same exact post about once a year or two but until the entitled babies GIVE IT A REST (Hi, Ape!) then we are going to continue saying the same thing. Daniel nailed it like usual.

Now that I think about it, how did Shabazz not go next door to a neighbor and say "I'm Shabazz Napier so make me a sandwich"?

So when I take that ELITE selfie with the BRAH statue, I am obligated to climb up on it and act like I'm plowing John from behind, right? I feel like that should be mandatory.

Mr. Ace said...

I'm not saying that I feel bad for these players or that anybody should. I am saying that with what they bring in for their universities they should have the opportunity to bring in money for themselves as well. Look at all the hours that Daniel just put up. 65 hours a week dedicated to schooling and football...and Daniel had a part time job, something scholarship athletes are limited on...don't you think that is worth more than $1200 a month? Again, I don't assign the same monetary value for the education because it isn't costing the university that much to provide to these individuals. I'm not saying make the players millionaires, but they shoukd be able to walk away with more than what they currently receive.

Cakes said...

I HATE this issue. Stop bitching and moaning over being able to get a free education and bang whatever slut you want on campus. You are getting no sympathy from the Cakes camp.

I'm looking forward to the selfie posts this fall with that magnificent statue.

CAN"T WAIT FOR DRAGON TALK!

Anonymous said...

G$...look who will be Carrying The Flag with you tonight!

Urban Meyer ‏@OSUCoachMeyer 5m

Congrats to the @BlueJacketsNHL on their 1st playoff win. Look forward to representing the Buckeyes and showing support at the game tonight!

--Drew

Nibbles said...

Yep, I'm sure Daniel is a fair representation of the population of college football players.

-3.9 high school GPA
-raised in rural Ohio
-parents still married
-white
-literate
-not treated as mom and/or dad's meal ticket


Ask Lamar how much pressure was on his shoulders to make it big at UT so he could pay for Kenny's new rims on his white Caddy.





GMoney said...

You'll never make any enemies around here when you reference the Green Family! Didn't Lamar also knock up a mentally challenged girl? Yeah, fuck that guy. I remember some of my teammates calling him "Lamar The Chocolate Bar" when he was a freshman. Not saying that that is right but here I am smiling like a bastard right now thinking about it.

Urban Meyer is going to ruin it for all of us. He seems like a Crosby fan.

Prime99 said...

Is John BRAH a Black Panther like his statue would make us believe?

Grumpy said...

Get in line on Aug. 30 for selfies with the BRAH. I may just drive up sooner. I'm putting a Steelers cap on him for my pic.

Anonymous said...

DRAGONS TALK!

In case you missed it, Joffrey died. Great way to start an episode with that staunch reminder.

Father of the year TOTES goes to Tywin. The body isn't even cold and he is grooming the next king in front of the dead king and weeping mother. Get fucked Cersei.

Oh wait! She did! Jamie Lannister forcibly throwing down the big wood on top of the king. Whether you hate incest, rape, or Joffrey, there was something for everyone. Great scene. A nice touch would have been a dead erection from Joffrey like in Joe Dirt.

They have alluded to it, and we book readers have caught it, but I will allow this spoiler. Pay attention to all of this bank of Braavos talk. Davos pulled the boss move out last night, and it was ELITE.

Poor Tyrion. Dude is in for some real tough times now that he sent Podrick off.

The Hound is a total dick. Robbing a man after giving you some pretty good rabbit stew is a bitch move. Arya was not pleased. But they both ate that stew like some champions. Not sure why they did this since they actually stayed there in the book.*

Fat Sam was being fat and being all around awful. Lesbihonest, you took a vow, but you watched your boy plow Ygritte all up and down the northern tundra. He still cool. YOU FUCKING CRUSH/SLAY GILLY. Granted, the boys in black (clear metaphor here, guys) would gangrape her while you cried, but still, taking her to work at a WHOREHOUSE is just as bad. Oh, and if I owned that whorehouse, Gilly would TOTES be doing other stuff. Fat Sam is fat and not intimidating.

Speaking of Ygritte, girl is pissed off for reals. Chopping through some innocent villagers is a fine way to practice cutting off Jon Snows cock. Styr eating that boys mom and dad is a baller move too. Nothing strikes fear into someones heart than showing them their parents dead bodies in a delicious yet nutritional buffet.

Jon Snow is adept in stratagem. That's all I have to say about Jon Snow this episode. Oh, a hearty fuck you to the actor who plays him. I read yesterday that he dumped Ygritte IRL and is starting to date Dany. Fuck him.

Oberyn gives us his reasons for being bi. He wouldn't want to be robbed of 1/2 the worlds pleasures. Considering that dude is up to his Dornish chin in orgies, I'll allow it. Plus, he's a stone cold killer. That deal with Tywin will be interesting, indeed. Especially, if it involves The Mountain (it does!).

Dany. Well, I hate that new Daario. Dude is NOT BRONN. So stop acting and looking like Bronn. Fag. But kudos for taking out that horserider, and LULZ for her two top guys trying to impress her. I'm so worn out on her displays of non slavery. It pleases me that sacking Mereen will NOT be easy for her. Good. Her storyline was boring at this point in the books too.

It was a decent episode, but its tough coming back from that epic last week. Plus Dragons next week, so thats fun.

*In the book they stayed there for some time. Not a huge squabble, but if there seems to be a time crunch with fatass writing the books, then why shorten these stories? No one will every get tired of Arya ever, so its cool to draw out some scenes, imo.

Ide

Grumpy said...

Tell me why Daenerys is lobbing dog collars into the city?

GMoney said...

I would have preferred Jamie pulling out and skeeting on a dead Joffrey while Cersei cried. That would have been an ELITE move by The Kingslayer.

The Hound has to be the worst dinner party guest ever.

I hate Sam more than anyone ever. I want to watch that plumper die so badly. He is one billion times worse than Joffrey.

Just as I figured...Joff dying only increases Tywin's power and reach. Now he has the perfect not insane King in place to call all the shots. Charles Dance is the GOAT actor.

Very intrigued by Littlefinger here...what is his end game?

Prime99 said...

Grump, that was to show the slaves in Meereen that they would be free if they join her and rebel against their masters. You could already see the rich get nervous and slaves thinking about rebelling.

Ide, the show runners said they are planning for eight seasons and they talked to GRRM about the end. It's very possible that the show passes the books, which would be LULZ, but whatever.

Little finger is an asshole but he dreams big. Bro wants nothing but more power (and money, I suppose, but only if it leads to power.)

That was a transition episode, but still pretty good.

Anonymous said...

I didn't talk about Littlefinger, because it's impossible to without spoilers. But it'll be neat.

Ide

Anonymous said...

I didn't talk about Littlefinger, because it's impossible to without spoilers. But it'll be neat.

Ide

Prime99 said...

Agree with Ide. His end game is rule and dominate everyone. However, we haven't seen how far that goes in the books so far and his upcoming moves are fucking tits.

GMoney said...

Speaking of tits, we need more of them this season. It is the only thing lacking from the show.

Daniel said...

Paying collegiate athletes would only further widen the disparity amongst the elite and the shitty programs. It would create a quasi-free agency in which the likes of UT/BGSU would not be able to complete. I actually think it would force a number of Universities to cut a number of programs, if not their athletic departments all together. You guys keep thinking of this from a football/basketball framework, but schools like tOSU offer close to 40 athletic teams. Of those teams, only 38 (football and men’s basketball) make any money and support the other programs. From a biznass standpoint, it doesn’t make sense to pay a women’s shotputter that will generate no revenue. A lot of the non-revenue generating sports requires athletes to ‘share’ scholarships – ie. you are only offered a 50% scholarship out of high school.

Any reasonable and responsible division one afflete can live very comfortably based on the current set up. There are families of four that live on less per month than these guys. The ones that are complaining are the ones that are trying to live above their means and buying shit like jewelry, tattoos, or luxury cars. The sad thing is 99% of these individuals are getting some shit degree that won’t be able to provide for the three kids they accumulated during college and you end up with a Ray Small type story. The whole cycle keeps perpetuating itself. Someone needs to educate these guys about wise 401k investment strategies!

Also – who is nibbles and why does he know so much about me?

Prime99 said...

First of all, to understand what happened to Killer, you gotta understand who Killer the dog WAS. Now Killer was born to a three-legged bitch mother. And he was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that, he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz. He's a small-time gunrunner and, uh, rottweiler fight promoter. So he puts Killer into training, next thing you know Killer's GOOD! He is DAMN good! But then, he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother Nibbles. And Killer said, "No, man, that's my brother, I can't fight Nibbles!" And he made him fight anyway. And then Killer, Killed Nibbles. And Killer said, "That's it!" And he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he ffffffff-FREAKED OUT. And then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart... no longer beat. Wow.

Nibbles said...

"Paying collegiate athletes would only further widen the disparity amongst the elite and the shitty programs. It would create a quasi-free agency in which the likes of UT/BGSU would not be able to complete"

That's why you set up a system similar to the current tax system. Higher revenue generating programs would pay in a higher amount of "tax" into the pot. The proceeds are then paid out to players according to time spent in the program / production.

This would also create more of an incentive for players to consider lesser schools, knowing it could generate more playing time, which would equate to higher payout.

Of course, this would all need to be new legislature and not just something thrown together by Mark Emmert. Otherwise, it's impossible to look at this from just a basketball/football framework. The courts would tear all of that apart.

C'mon Daniel, it's not hard to figure out who I am. We'll be carrying the flag together at NWA today.





Anonymous said...

I don't need to know about no 401k

Santanio Holmes

GMoney said...

Whoa! Was not expecting to hear that Daniel and Nibbles will be carrying the flag tonight! Good for you guys. Now do not lose.

Latrell Sprewell said...

I'm with Santonio. Don't need no 401ks.

Anonymous said...

Is Nibbles Urban Meyer?!?!!?

--Drew

Nibbles said...

The only thing that should concern you Drew, is that I am not Seal.

Anonymous said...

I smell a Saul. Or a Strut. But surely a male gay.

Ide

Anonymous said...

So, Nibbles...you're saying you aren't the type of guy that takes his internet commenting ball and goes home with it when he thinks people are being big meanies to him? Have you ever un-friended people on FaceBook because of wars of words that you had with them on the interwebz?

--Drew

Nibbles said...

If people around here are going to call me things like a "Saul", then maybe I should take my internet ball and go home.

GMoney said...

Guys, you know who Nibbles is. It rhymes Bate Me.

Maaaaaaaaaaan, listening to The Fan today and seeing that there were 100 or so fans camped out in line for the Huntington seats at 8 am this morning has me so pumped for tonight. The DreamSeats guys say that the only tougher ticket in this area besides tonight and Wed has been Ohio/WE ON football. That's it. That place is going to be bananas. I can't wait for Wednesday and I'm TOTES JELLY of you fuckers carrying tonight.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ...That DreamSeats guy fed you some bull-shit. Per StubHub right now you can get in for $100 a ticket...definitely pricey for worst seats available...but, there have been many OSU Football games and even basketball in recent years that are more expensive than that on the secondary market.

--Drew