Pretty sure this game was a Japanese release only
Well, shit. I literally have nothing to write about today. Since we've corpse raped the NCAA tournament over the last few days and NFL free agency has died down (besides Sanchize and his butt fumble heading to the Iggles. LOLOLOL!!), I'm just pissing in the wind here. Hell, let's do a video game post. Here are the top 5 best video game systems of all time. List format, of course.
5. Playstation 2 - I was never a Sony guy and I'll be honest as to why. Playing games that require the use of both joysticks simultaneously was a mind fuck that I was never able to completely conquer. I just couldn't do it and still can't. YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?! The reason this system breaks the top 5 is because it gave us ground breaking games like Grand Theft Auto III. GTAIII offered timeless lessons like: Crime is fun and if you're ever seriously injured all you have to do is cream pie a hooker's snizz to recover.
Notable Titles: GTAIII, NHL Hitz, Guitar Hero 2, God of War, Max Payne
4. Nintendo Entertainment System - The closest thing in my life that I could compare to a full blown crack addiction. This system changed my life forever. I remember playing this system with friends on weekends until the God damn sun would come up. No shit, the NES is about 90% responsible for the superb grade cards I would bring home. Because I knew that if my grades slipped the NES being taken away was the punishment. And my parents were fucking ruthless with it, too. Once, we had a 2 week NES ban at the Randall Stevens household. My parents would leave the system and the games out and take the paddles with them to work. Fucking monsters.
Notable Titles: Contra, Metroid, The Legend of Zelda, Mario Series, Metal Gear
3. Xbox 360 - This system clocks in at the 3 slot because it made getting your ass kicked online by a nine year old a reality. Even though it sounds like the Sega Dreamcast was the first system with online playing capability, Microsoft made it popular. Ever want an ego check? Play any game you think you're sweet at online. It's a pretty swift lesson in humility. I had a roommate once who was a big time gamer. Had a pair of those ridiculous fucking head sets and all. There were nights I would sit there and get shit faced while watching him get straight owned by a kid still at least six years away from seeing his first naked tit. You haven't lived until you hear a grown man call a 4th grader a cunt faced dick lover.
Notable Titles: Halo, Gears of War, Assassin's Creed, Any NCAA football title, Any Madden title
2. Sega Genesis - Genesis is number 2 because at the time, 16 bit graphics compared to 8 bit graphics was the same as the difference between soft core Cinemax porn and full blow penetration porn. I remember begging my parents for a Genesis and making a shit load of empty promises if they bought me one. Crap like...I would do the dishes every day until my 18th birthday or rake leaves until my palms bled. None of that happened, OBVZ. I'm pretty sure I cried real tears when I opened my new Genesis that next Christmas morning.
Notable Titles: Sonic, Bill Walsh College Football, ToeJam and Earl, Mortal Kombat, NBA Jam
1. Nintendo 64 - I don't think a system will ever outperform what the Nintendo 64 was/is. The original Playstation came out 2 years before the N64 but Nintendo had the superior product, in all honesty. The games were just better. Nintendo used different technology available to make games with smoother game play and better graphics than any other gaming system available at the time. The games hold up today and I still pick up the sticks at least once a week.
Notable Titles: Mario Kart, Goldeneye, Conker's Bad Fur Day, NFL Blitz, Ocarina of Time
As you can see, this list is ELITE and complete. Some honorable mentions that didn't quite make the cut were TurboGrafx-16, GameBoy, Super Nintendo, Sega DreamCast. Good systems, just not good enough for my top 5. I know all of you fuckin nerds have been gamers at some point so sound off on your favorite systems/most memorable gaming moments. Don't forget to LOL at Ace for the inevitable Sanchize signing! I just hope none of you still play online. That's a little weird for your age.