Big props to Andrew B for winning our Playoffs Contest. He picked Seattle while Damman had Denver and thus no one else had a shot. Send me an email when you have the time (upper right) and we can work something out. Congrats on being the best! Let's just talk about the major players from this "game" and give some of my usual hot takes.
Russell Wilson - He had almost nothing to do with getting the monster lead but he had no problem adding on to it. You know my feelings on Wilson by now and this title changes nothing. I still don't like him and I will always think that anyone could win with that defense. Whatever.
Percy Harvin - I guess that that is why they traded for him...because he can make an old, bad, and slow defense look old, bad, and slow. They guy is a pretty good player when he isn't lying prone on the turf after every play.
Richard Sherman - No need to go HAM on Erin Andrews after a blowout but it probably would have been better if he didn't do his best Harvin impression on the field every possession. That being said, Peyton AKA DA BEST EVAH hardly ever went at him and when you only throw to one side of the field, ya fucked BRAH.
Kam Chancellor - He's pretty much the NFL version of Seal Team Six. He will kill all.
Pete Carroll - I don't like the guy. I probably never will but he is a really good football coach. You can't deny that. Sure, you can whine about his past like Torg and demand the title to be vacant because you are an idiot but whatever. Carroll deserved this ring.
Golden Tate - Can you believe that a team won a fucking Super Bowl and their #1 receiver is probably Tate? That's terrible.
Bruno Mars - I barely know anything about this guy but I thought that his halftime show was fine. I had no issue with it. He doesn't make my kind of shit, but he did a good job. On the other hand, I do like the Chili Peppers and I have no fucking clue what the point of them being out there was. It didn't fit at all, they played a song that is 23 years old, and then they were gone.
Philip Seymour Hoffman - I will not miss a junkie. I don't care what kind of movies he made. If you're hooked on heroin, that's on you and you get what is coming for you. TR > Philip Seymour.
John Fox - This guy is just a garbage coach. But I will defend him on one thing: going for it on 4th and 2 at the end of the first half was the CORRECT call. You're down 22-0 and have no momentum at all. A FG does nothing. NOTHING. You are playing for a Super Bowl title and have the best offense in league history. If they can't get you two yards then you are going to lose anyway. Better to know that before halftime starts.
Eric Decker - I don't even know if he played. He did nothing at all. We love calling white receivers "gritty" but Decker is probably the least gritty WR in the league.
Champ Bailey - You can take the stud out of the Redskins, but you can't take the Redskins out of the stud. He got torched early which really set the tone for what we were about to watch.
Eli Manning - Congrats on still not losing a Super Bowl, little buddy! You will forever be better than your OVERRATED bro! We might as well get to the main course...
Peyton Manning - TRASH. He was AWFUL. The QB is responsible or the offense and the cadence. When the center snaps the ball early, that is HIS fault for not communicating with the rest of his teammates. And then he throws the game-ending pick six a little bit later. I love being right. Dude is a great QB but he is not the best ever. He never will be with only one ring. That's a HUGE blemish on his otherwise stellar resume. I'm sorry, but it's true. If you can't close then that sticks with you and it is fair to judge the greats on that. There is a very large difference between losing a tight game and getting obliterated. Now that there is already talk about retiring, the window is closed. Denver isn't winning a Super Bowl with this group. FACT.
The Commercials - Just awful. Can we stop it with the superhero movies already? Superhero movies flat out SUCK DICK. The Avengers was butt. Spiderman is gay. Thor is pointless. Ironman is a fucktard. Batman isn't a superhero because he rules and doesn't have any bizarre powers. He's just a rich white dude with a Morgan Freeman slave and cool toys. Knock this shit off already, Randall Stevens and Prime, you're grown-ups now. GIVE IT A REST on your weirdo crush on The Hulk.
So the season is over. It ended badly but at least I'm still right (as usual). I'm sure that the Redskins will make up for it next season when they win the Super Bowl 70-0 over the Browns. Just a friendly reminder before we go that Tarvaris Jackson has the same number of rings as Peyton Manning. DEAL WITH IT.