Tuesday, February 04, 2014

These Are The Days Of Our Lives...


"Just smile real big and they'll never know how stupid you are..."



As the title above suggests...the state of Cleveland basketball is unfolding much like a sleazy day time soap opera.  I love it when teams' dark, dirty secrets are unleashed to the public.  It takes the focus off of how miserable I am watching the teams I follow.  Last week Chad Ford reported that Kyrie Irving is telling people he wants out of Cleveland.  Shocking.  Thank you for confirming what we've known since you were drafted.  Then days after the story went public, Irving throws out this half assed statement about how he loves it in Cleveland, wants to stay, blah, blah, blah.  No you don't.  No one wants to play for Cleveland.  And why would anyone?  Has anyone been paying attention to what's been going on with the Cavs lately?  I can't say I blame you if you say no because at the end of the day it's still the Cavs.  But it's bordering on fiction.  Hilarious fiction.

First off, let me properly thank Luol Deng for being the world's biggest blabber mouth gossip queen.  Without you the world would never know how big of a disaster the Cleveland Cavs are right now.  I mean...those groady hoarder people on TV that find half decayed animal corpses under the endless piles of shit they have collected over the years are better organized than the Cavs.  Keep it coming, Luol.  This peek behind the curtain has been an absolute joy!

First, the whole Bynum situation was a LOL for the ages.  I can't believe a guy who clotheslines point guards half his size just for kicks would come in with a shit attitude and be totally worthless.  Stunning, right?  Bynum was only the beginning.  Apparently, according to Deng, not a single person in that locker room respects Mike Brown and all of them mouth off to him when he tries to wear his big boy pants.  God, this would be tremendous to witness.  I bet they treat him like a trombone player in the high school band.  The players probably put icy hot in the crotch of Brown's underwear and take turns cramming the mouth part of his whistle up their chili holes.

Last week, Waiters was chucked from practice for God knows what and was rewarded the very next night by being given his full allotment of minutes against the Knicks.  Minutes that I'm sure were spent playing terrible basketball.  Great show of accountability.  Something the organization has been constantly preaching about, I've read.

Then you have the Irving/Waiters situation as a whole.  Is it possible for two guys to hate each other more?  I would argue no.  Things started getting bad in November between the two and just continue to get worse as the days pass.  The tension is so bad now that it appears as if Irving is purposely not passing Waiters the ball on offense.  It's like they're both fucking five years old!  It's great!!  There was a replay I watched last week where Irving was trying to dribble the letters off the ball while swarmed by 3 defenders.  Over in the corner you see Waiters.  Wide open.  Not a guy within 15 feet of him in any direction jumping up and down like his balls are on fire.  Doesn't even touch the ball.  An absolute thing of beauty.  According to various Cavs fans around the Internet world, this isn't the first time Irving has blatantly ignored Waiters on offense.  Better get all your on court jabs in while you can, Kyrie.  Because by the sounds of things Waiters is getting shipped somewhere before the trade deadline.

I've been saying for awhile now that I thought LeBron was working on a plan for his triumphant return back home to win Cleveland a championship.  After learning just how big of a mess the Cavs are, there's no fucking way that happens anymore.  None.  I have officially changed my mind.  What player would choose to come within a thousand miles of that hell hole?  Disaster isn't a dirty enough word for what's happening in Cleveland right now.  That, combined with the Cavs taking drafting tips from the Browns circa any draft pre 2007, tells me there's a good chance this team is fucked for the long haul.  Prepare yourselves for life without Kyrie Irving, Cavs fan.  It's coming quicker than you think.

64 comments:

Anonymous said...

Where are all the cock/shit jokes?

Randall Stevens said...

The Cavs are one big cock shit joke! That's where.

Anonymous said...

CARRY IT!

What a YUGE start to our road stretch. Johansen is TOTES a boss out there this season. Unexpected big game from Foligno, which is always pleasant

And LULZ at Anaheim saying they figured out BoBRAHvsky. 32/34 saves says go fuck yourself. Rangers red to blow a couple games and we can be in second by the break.

lol cavs.

Ide

GMoney said...

I'm glad that I didn't have to write this post. I am so sick of this garbage franchise. They do nothing right.

Dan Gilbert = joke
Chris Grant = egghead that knows nothing
Mike Brown = the worst

It starts at the top. Anthony Bennett would probably be averaging 25/15 if his bosses weren't mental defectives.

I will have more thoughts on the ELITE dysfunction on this team later today. But it could be worse...we could have Josh Smith AKA the perfect Cav. No one would be a better 2014 Cav than Smiff (who blows).

Jeff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff said...

Hard Knocks should just pick the Cavs.

Successful duck hunt last night. Carry it!

Randall Stevens said...

The trade off is when the pistons miss the playoffs YET AGAIN, you get to write that one for me, G$.

Anthony Bennett isn't averaging 25 and 15 anywhere. That's the funniest part of this post.

At this point the only reason to watch the Cavs is to watch the glorious mail in jobs by Irving every other night. At least he's not pig headed enough to "The Decision" you guys.

GMoney said...

25 Gatorades/15 missed dunks...but he has been playing much better recently now that, you know, Mike Brown has decided to play the #1 pick.

The Cavs and Pistons are both chasing THE BOBCATS for the 8 seed (J/K, we aren't chasing shit). That says it all.

CARRY THE FLAG INDEED. THAT was the best team in the NHL? Seems to me like we are.

GMoney said...

You could make a pretty terrific argument that the Cavs are currently the worst organization in all of sports. That says something.

Please remember that our brilliant dwarf owner GUARANSHEED the playoffs this year. I'm about a week away from sending death threats to Nick Gilbert.

Anonymous said...

Everything you said here is correct (pretty much). While I do not like hearing that the Cavs are pretty much the most embarrassing franchise ever from a Pistons fans, its actually true this time.

This all starts with management and coaching. Dan Gilbert keeping around Chris Grant is terrible. Once again, the fact that Mike Brown is our coach is an absolute joke. Its embarrassing that he is our coach.

Kyrie is gone, Dion is gone, everyone is gone. Clean this place out. Trade Kyrie now for multiple first rounders. Trade Deng tomorrow. Trade anyone worth a damn and fire Brown and Grant. Start from complete scratch with the potential to have 2 first rounders every year for the next few seasons.

I agree, G$ - worst franchise in sports right now. I hate this team.

Although, the Pistons are much better.

Seal

Anonymous said...

*arent

Prime99 said...

Dan Gilbert GUARANSHEED a championship before LeBron got one. Oops.

I do hope they make the playoffs.

GMoney said...

I would have no problem if the team traded everyone. EVERYONE. This 2014 lot is worse than the one that was here the year after LeBron left. You know, the one with Baron Davis being our best player and a 27 game losing streak. That team beats this year's squad of losers by 50.

Also a reminder that Gilbert and Grant hired Mike Brown again this Summer without interviewing ANYONE ELSE. You aren't supposed to hire your Rooney Rule candidate, you idiots.

Anonymous said...

The Cavs are indeed horrendous, but I wish Lava Girl would give up on the Bynum thing as she looks dumb when bringing it up. There was zero risk with that move and it didn't work out....who cares. I wonder how close we are to Waiters punching Mike Brown....that would be funny. I believe Mike Brown has a 5 yr deal, so I don't think he's probably going anywhere anytime soon.

Anybody else read all of the Martin/Incognito texts? I have no fucking clue what Martin's deal is now and feel Incognito got screwed big time. Both of their love for hookers is nice tho.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

You are not suppose to hire someone who you already fired once. The organization is a joke and is a bigger laughing stock then the browns.

Anyone hear boozer call out Thibs? Thibs said he didn't hear it then proceed to give a 400 word answer in why Gibson plays in the fourth.

Maybe te Cavs will try to sign him once the bulls amnesty him

Larry

Prime99 said...

Nah, the Cavs will think they have a deal done with Boozer before he bolts to the Jazz...

GMoney said...

I just hate this team so much. They have the worst chemistry that I've ever seen. I feel bad for Deng (had no idea what he was walking into), Andy (who has given his entire career to this city when no one else has), and Tristan (who plays hard every night). Notice that I didn't say Kyrie.

As someone who watches Kyrie (at least the first half) almost every game, I am appalled when people in the national media talk about how great he is. NO HE IS NOT. He has regressed drastically this season (probably has a lot to do with the head coach). I still like the kid a lot but I don't love him. If you are a "superstar", which he isn't, then your record should not be well below .400 since you became a pro.

I've read a number of articles that talk about his contract situation and it seems like a huge gamble if he left. First of all, he would have to do something that no other player in the history of basketball has done. Turn down an extension, sign a one year tender, and then hope that you remain healthy to sign a contract with someone else that won't be anywhere near what the Cavs could give him. We're talking an 8 figure difference. NO ONE has done this ever.

But I wouldn't be surprised if it happens. I would not want to work for these idiots either.

I expect greed to win out and him to take the money. But if he left, I wouldn't blame him at all. It isn't like LeBron who had control and say over all of the personnel decisions and then whined when the players around him sucked. This is the opposite where the Cavs have given him a weirdo roster and it continues to not work under terrible coaching. We'll see what happens.

Cakes said...

This is why I don't bother with basketball. I have enough misery wrapped up in the Browns, Tribe and Buckeyes. Why add another team to that circle of death? Plus it's basketball and nobody really cares until the playoffs.

Anonymous said...

G$....Do you still think it's absurd to think that some teams would trade Kyrie for Drummond?

Also...tomorrow is NATIONAL SIGNING DAY!!!!!! One of the greatest days of the year. Can't wait.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Drummond, its so crazy that a guy Drew describes as being as good as Shaq didnt make the all-star team...

Seal

Anonymous said...

Kobe Bryant is starting the ASG...great tool to tell how good of a season players are having. Speaking of tools...Slow Seal everybody!

--Drew

GMoney said...

To be honest, I don't think I've ever seen Drummond actually play and considering that I hate you, I just assume that you're wrong. But I would never trade for a guy who airballs free throws.

I have been posting NSD open forums the last few years, BUT NOT THIS YEAR! We are celebrating black history month tomorrow.

GMoney said...

Kyrie Irving is starting in the ASG so OBVZ the ASG means nothing.

Anonymous said...

But a guy as good as one of the all time greats, not being on the All Star game stage?!?!?! Thats just baffling! This guy should obviously be starting, right Drew? Has to be the biggest snub in history and its amazing that no one is talking about it!

Seal

Anonymous said...

Oh...then I will be celebrating the future black footballers for The Ohio State University tomorrow. Hell...even Slow Seal gets to celebrate national signing day tomorrow as Kentucky is gonna have their best class in probably ever.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Yea we can be second to last instead of last in the SEC now... No but seriously, pretty exciting stuff I have read recently on some UK recruits. And youre right, for the first time in ever.

Seal

Anonymous said...

That's a good point Slow Seal....3rd in the NBA in rebounds and 3rd in FG% at the age of 20. Pretty decent snub...not as big of a snub as Anthony Davis not being on an All-Star team tho....as he's having a top 5 season in the league. Which shows why using the ASG as a barometer for one's season is so dumb fo real.

--Drew

GMoney said...

What Drool is trying to say here is that Filipino Ladyboy Erik Spoelstra is a RACIST!

Since we're talking recrootin', CHUCKSTRONG Martin lost a commit to Rutgers on Monday and then the WR from CO de-committed on Tuesday to re-join the Hawks. Solid integrity there, kid! But we outdid the Big Ten nonetheless! Chucky, in short time, has made 13 scholly offers. 12 accepted. ROSE BOWL BOUND.

Anonymous said...

Good pre signing day story. The #1 player in the state of Michigan is Malik McDowell. He still hasn't committed to anyone, but is supposed to do it tomorrow. He wants to be a Spartan, but his parents hate MSU for some unknown reason and are forbidding him from signing with them. His Mom is now fighting with Spartan fans in teh comments section of an article on the Detroit News website. She just told one fan that his "Mother should have swallowed your azz". Great stuff. The Buckeyes have a very good shot at landing him tomorrow morning.

--Drew

Randall Stevens said...

I'm sure lava girl keeps bringing up the Bynum thing because even though the move was considered low risk, it was still dumb bringing him in because guys like that aren't worth the time. No matter how low the risk.

Sorry Seal...gotta side with Drew on this one. The ASG is a joke and should never be used when judging talent. I'm pretty sure Andre Iguodala was an All Star recently. And Mo Williams was an All Star one year. Drummond is easily one of the top 5 best centers in the league and he's only 20...no matter how many free throws he air balls.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing I like more than getting excited over young livestock ready to be shipped to OSU for back breaking labor. Fine young beasts indeed.

More people really should see 12 Years a Slave. It's high brow comedy.

Ide

GMoney said...

If you want to know the reason why I love the Jackets and hate the Cavs (other than wins and losses of course), it's pretty simple:

*both teams are near the youngest in their leagues
*both have gobs of young talent
*The Cavs hate each other
*The CBJ seem to love each other
*The CBJ plays hard every night and has GRIT
*The Cavs never play hard and eat shrimp and grits
*The CBJ are well coached and have a system in place
*The Cavs run no offense and play horrendous defense
*Ryan Johansen is a superstar that keeps getting better
*Kyrie Irving is supposed to be a superstar that isn't getting better

Andre Drummond can't even read. Probably.

GMoney said...

I'm not going to lie. Tomorrow's post is really solid. Better bring your lunch pails.

Anonymous said...

I hope it's a long listing of black people that are more successful in the business world than Ide.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I hope its not.

Ide

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Randall Stevens said...

What in the holy Christ happened to this post??

Prime99 said...

WTF?!?!?!