"Just smile real big and they'll never know how stupid you are..."
As the title above suggests...the state of Cleveland basketball is unfolding much like a sleazy day time soap opera. I love it when teams' dark, dirty secrets are unleashed to the public. It takes the focus off of how miserable I am watching the teams I follow. Last week Chad Ford reported that Kyrie Irving is telling people he wants out of Cleveland. Shocking. Thank you for confirming what we've known since you were drafted. Then days after the story went public, Irving throws out this half assed statement about how he loves it in Cleveland, wants to stay, blah, blah, blah. No you don't. No one wants to play for Cleveland. And why would anyone? Has anyone been paying attention to what's been going on with the Cavs lately? I can't say I blame you if you say no because at the end of the day it's still the Cavs. But it's bordering on fiction. Hilarious fiction.
First off, let me properly thank Luol Deng for being the world's biggest blabber mouth gossip queen. Without you the world would never know how big of a disaster the Cleveland Cavs are right now. I mean...those groady hoarder people on TV that find half decayed animal corpses under the endless piles of shit they have collected over the years are better organized than the Cavs. Keep it coming, Luol. This peek behind the curtain has been an absolute joy!
First, the whole Bynum situation was a LOL for the ages. I can't believe a guy who clotheslines point guards half his size just for kicks would come in with a shit attitude and be totally worthless. Stunning, right? Bynum was only the beginning. Apparently, according to Deng, not a single person in that locker room respects Mike Brown and all of them mouth off to him when he tries to wear his big boy pants. God, this would be tremendous to witness. I bet they treat him like a trombone player in the high school band. The players probably put icy hot in the crotch of Brown's underwear and take turns cramming the mouth part of his whistle up their chili holes.
Last week, Waiters was chucked from practice for God knows what and was rewarded the very next night by being given his full allotment of minutes against the Knicks. Minutes that I'm sure were spent playing terrible basketball. Great show of accountability. Something the organization has been constantly preaching about, I've read.
Then you have the Irving/Waiters situation as a whole. Is it possible for two guys to hate each other more? I would argue no. Things started getting bad in November between the two and just continue to get worse as the days pass. The tension is so bad now that it appears as if Irving is purposely not passing Waiters the ball on offense. It's like they're both fucking five years old! It's great!! There was a replay I watched last week where Irving was trying to dribble the letters off the ball while swarmed by 3 defenders. Over in the corner you see Waiters. Wide open. Not a guy within 15 feet of him in any direction jumping up and down like his balls are on fire. Doesn't even touch the ball. An absolute thing of beauty. According to various Cavs fans around the Internet world, this isn't the first time Irving has blatantly ignored Waiters on offense. Better get all your on court jabs in while you can, Kyrie. Because by the sounds of things Waiters is getting shipped somewhere before the trade deadline.
I've been saying for awhile now that I thought LeBron was working on a plan for his triumphant return back home to win Cleveland a championship. After learning just how big of a mess the Cavs are, there's no fucking way that happens anymore. None. I have officially changed my mind. What player would choose to come within a thousand miles of that hell hole? Disaster isn't a dirty enough word for what's happening in Cleveland right now. That, combined with the Cavs taking drafting tips from the Browns circa any draft pre 2007, tells me there's a good chance this team is fucked for the long haul. Prepare yourselves for life without Kyrie Irving, Cavs fan. It's coming quicker than you think.