Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Open Forum: College Hoops!

THERE IS NO DANA, ONLY ZUUL!!!
If there is one thing that I’ve learned about the internet during my years as America’s #1 blogger, it is that you have to pick your battles. Granted, I win all of mine anyway but that is not the point. Some days, you know what is going to drive the comments. On these days, you avoid the usual A+ material in lieu of something that the unwashed masses will want. It isn’t about catering to my idiot fans. It is about not wasting my time. With the Ohio/WE ON basketball game last night (I believe the only one on the schedule this season), I’m taking it easy on myself today. Don’t worry—there will be a sufficient amount of hot takes still.

It’s an interesting game, fo sho, as both teams have had their ups and downs this season and it’s about time to figure things out for the stretch drive. Ohio still can’t score consistently which probably has everything to do with Greg Paulus. Michigan still misses Mitch McGary-Hoffman-Durham greatly (as we all do) as Jordan Morgan is useless which makes sense considering that he came to Ann Arbor with Rumeal Robinson. This game will be won on the wings. Hopefully, it was a really good game. I just wish that they could both lose. How about some college hoops-related HOT TAKES to fill out today’s post?

*Damman was offered a free ticket to the game last night and turned it down because he wouldn’t get him until late. This is so sad. Everyone better rip him good today. Typical Big Lots Buckeye if you ask me…valuing a few extra minutes of sleep over an intense rivalry. GSaul probably went wearing a red polo or whatever because he likes to play both sides. You are fooling no one!

*Larry Brown (former manager at Kahoots--never forget) might be the greatest basketball coach to ever live. Sure, he can’t stay in one place for longer than 40 minutes, but those are 40 incredible minutes. He has SMU ranked in a little over one year. SMU! That’s Craig James school! Larry Brown would be a great coach for the Cavs (hint hint).

*Who the fuck is your Coach of the Year this season? There are a ton of solid options when you factor in Brown, Gregg Marshall, Steve Fisher, and Sean Miller (as well as guys like Jim Boeheim). It’s kind of hard to argue against Marshall or Fisher whose teams could possibly be fucking ONE SEEDS next month.

*Speaking of Sean Miller, Arizona might be in a little bit of trouble. Brandon Ashley’s season-ending injury clearly has the Cats struggling to find a new identity, which sucks, because that team was incredible when at full health.

*The Big 12 is the best conference. Yeah, ya heard me. It is. Great coaching, NBA lottery talent, and (outside of TCU) no gimmes on the schedule. That is a really fun conference to watch and that was even before you factor in that their players like to fight the fans. Also: KUBoobs is the greatest Twitter follow ever. I should have went to Kansas. So many huge boobs.

*Speaking of Kansas, Joel Embiid is incredible. But, you can slow your fucking roll with that #1 pick nonsense. Hells nah, BRAH. If I have the #1 pick this Summer (the Cavs will not because they are contractually obligated to only getting that pick in bad draft classes), I’m not taking a guy who is raw and still growing into his body. I’m taking the fucking scorer. Wiggins is still the guy (or Parker, I suppose). Don’t get me wrong, I’m an Embiid fan, but I’m starting a rebuild with that kid.

That’s it for today. Plenty of bouncy ball talk to go around and we didn’t even talk about homosexuality or race! Biggest upset of the week. To be completely transparent, I probably didn’t watch more than a few minutes of the Ohio/WE ON game anyway since Tuesdays were meant for Justified. In conclusion, Trey Burke Sucks.

48 comments:

Mr. Ace said...

WE ON

Mr. Ace said...

Also, Very nice Ghostbusters reference. Very nice.

Anonymous said...

Good thing I went to bed last night at the half. And fuck 9 pm games on an east coast feed.

Personally, I like Gregggg Marshall to get the CoY. Boeheim is the sexy pick because of Syracuse, and I'm sure Self is in there somewhere. But, since late last season, there hasn't been a hotter team in the nation. Sean Miller will get it eventually for sure, just not this year.

I'd take Parker at the top pick all day. Erryday.

Ide

Jeff said...

I was in attendance last night. Crowd was good. Beats me as to why Ohio State just started jacking up 3s all second half and not going to the rim which was working in the first. Michigan got hot from behind the arc, Craft did his best Andre Drummond impression from the 3 pt line, and the rest is history. I'm sure if I watched the telecast Dan Dakichs would've been able to explain this to me.

GMoney said...

I am petitioning Bo Ryan to cut Craft from White State after that airball three down the stretch last night (like 8 seconds into the shot clock). That is not what White State White Raider basketball is about.

Ide can't stay up past ten. That's adorbs. Between you and Damman...WHAT A RIVALRY!!!

GMoney said...

FYI, Anthony Bennett was damn good last night and has been for the past few weeks. ELITE player.

Mr. Ace said...

D Walton almost fucked around and got a triple double, all while completely fucking PWNing and outgritting Craft. Just total domination.

GR3 still bad.

If the Fuckeyes can only score 60 at home, against Michigans terrible defense, in front of your best crowd all year, then...just forfeit the season. Somebody is going to embarrass you guys come tourney time.

Anonymous said...

I go to bed around 10-11 because, I am up at 5am. Shitty thing about living in Brooklyn is now getting up a whopping 45 minutes earlier. This forces me to go to bed that much earlier. Sucks, brahs.

Ide

Randall Stevens said...

Nice air balled 3, Craft. More please.

Anonymous said...

More thoughts in a bit... but youre taking Wiggins at 1? GTFO of here bro. Dude is terribly inconsistent and barely tries on the court. Dont like him.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Oh and LOLZ at OSU - ANOTHER home in-conference loss. Yikes, you bad.

Seal

GMoney said...

If you ask me, Ide, you're just an excuse-making hipster pussy. You're not tough and gritty like Spike Albrecht.

GMoney said...

Uh yeah, I'm taking Maple Jordan #1. Dude is just bored now and probably has grown tired listening to average at best Bill Self.

Anonymous said...

Average at best is damn right regarding Bill Self, dude is not good- hence why I completely disagree with your comment on the Big 12 being the best conference with GREAT coaching.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Bullet-Point style today? Bullet-point style today...I think I've got a lot of them.

*Damman and Ide are cunts...especially, Ide who goes to bed at half-time of 9:00 games.

*2nd half was awful. Just played like shit...Craft...everyone.

*Sweet 16 is probably the ceiling for this group. They can play defense with the best...but, too many offensive droughts...like an entire half last night.

*REALLY looking forward to next year's freshman class coming in as it's ELITE and has three scoring machines on it....something this team desperately needs.

*G$...while I always hate losing to Michigan in anything...I was raised to view Indiana as our #1 rival in basketball and many others seem to share that view. MSU is definitely Michigan's #1 rival in basketball.

*Marshall should TOTES be the COY (this coming from COY).

*As for Sean Miller...whenever Matta retires (don't think anytime soon, nor do I want him to retire as he's my favorite coach not named Mike Babcock)...I think Miller comes home to replace him.

*B1G Basketball>B12 Basketball

*I'm with you on Wiggins. Kid is a freak show...gmaes like that 19 and 17 game against ISU show what type of ELITE talent he will develop into.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

Larry Brown could take 5 guys from here and get them to the tournament.

Anonymous said...

Larry Brown's a piece of shit.

--Drew

GMoney said...

As long as he plays me at the point. I'm well known as an excellent decision maker on the court.

Bill Self is like the 4th best coach in the Big 12. That's solid.

There is one dog in the Big 12. There are at least 4-5 of them in the Big Ten.

Because it needs to be said forever: @KUBoobs is the best.

Anonymous said...

I had to wait for AT&T to call me at 7pm to fix my internet last night. I did not know how long it would take considering I was on the phone with them for 2 hours on Saturday and they didn't fix a damn thing. That's why I had to turn down the tix. The fact that it was a 9 pm tip made it sting a little less. So as Hunky Tony says to Costanza, "Step off."

I agree sweet 16 is the ceiling. They can beat anyone if they are not god awful shooting wise, but this group cannot be trusted. They won't be able to string a bunch of wins together come March.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Damman is no longer a cunt...just Ide is.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Pretty shitty excuse, Damman. You need to put ATT in their place. You better be negotiating a free month of service as well.

I was in attendance last night. Snuck into the Huntington Club at halftime and missed most of the 2nd half. Nothing like going to a game only to sit at a bar. There were two black dudes who obvz snuck into the club. They were hammered and being completely racist towards whites. And it was hysterical. They came up with a celebrity name for all the white people at the bar because all white people look the same apparently. They ended up getting kicked out by the black bouncer.

Can we start talking about baseball yet? Basketball is over until march madness.

Dut

Anonymous said...

I could go on a rant on how TWC fucked up my cable when I moved in last week, but no, I had planned on going to bed this early for a while. I'm getting old, and staying up late isn't worth it during the week when I have to go get a sweet LIFT in at 6am sharp every day.

I had Burke text me the final, and I woke up randomly at 1230 to the text, "smart move going to bed...". I regret nothing.

But enough about that, let's move on to Crowder talk. This season was slow to get going, but the past few weeks have been great. I don't care that much about Ava in jail, because Orange is the New Black does that story way much better. But, Crowder getting sieged on all sides is great television.

Is it just me, or is there absolutely nothing for Raylan to do this year? It seems that he is just sort of crammed into the criminal storyline in Harlan when he has ZERO reason to be there ever. The first episode showed him actually doing real Marshal work, followed by x amount of episodes of the writers shoehorning him into the show. I don't mind it, but I feel that this season I am actually less interested with Raylan than I am with everyone else.

Ide

GMoney said...

If you ask me, Damman (cable issue), Dut (went but skipped the action), and Ide (beauty sleep) have proven that Ohio/Michigan is not a real rivalry at all. FACT.

Prime99 said...

Ide's insatiable thirst for gay bathhouses at 6am >>> Ohio/Michigan rivalry

I also loved the Ghostbusters reference.

GMoney said...

If Ide doesn't get 14 hours of sleep every night, he starts to look like Costas. OK, WHO BROUGHT THE DOG?

Anonymous said...

Lesbihonest, I was the first with Ghostbuster references on Lava Girl.

This was non gay bathhouse gym. However, perhaps not surprising, all of 4 good looking girls go to the gym that early, not counting the manager and door girl, that may have come from a modelling agency. Plus, my locker room attendant shines my shoes for 2 bucks. That is just value. Also, scientifically, it really is the best time of day to go. ENDORPHINS > FAGGOT COFFEE.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Drew has probably said 'really looking forward to the unproven freshman that are still in high school line' about 100 times on this site and yet 0 national titles. You probably said the same thing about this group of stinkers at one point! Not that Michigan has any, just pointing to how worthless it is to care so much about specifics of recruiting outside of 'we are recruiting well'.

WEON
WEWORK

- jsaul

Anonymous said...

I wore a navy and gray striped shirt last night, so I really was playing both sides.
I was in a suite with free food and drinks, and my experience is that you do not get invited back by OSU fans if you show up sporting a WE ON t-shirt, so I went neutral.
Bob Costas would have been closer to making that 3-pointer than Aaron Craft last night!

-GSaul

GMoney said...

Do you own a WE ON shirt? Why don't you wear it every day?

Grumpy said...

G$, you are not the PG; you are the lovable white walk on who the fans start chanting for the last 2 minutes of a blow out.

Anonymous said...

You're right JSaul....getting great specific recruits is worthless to pay attention to. What an idiotic thing to say. Getting stud frosh in is incredibly important in college basketball...just ask Slow Seal....or Duke fans. The OSU basketball recruiting has not been that great the past couple of years...the kid's coming in next year similar to some of the great Matta classes of past.

You probably don't think football recruiting is important either and don't give a fuck that Kentucky possibly had a better football class than Michigan did this past cycle...LOLZ. Talk to the Bama fans if their recruiting championships have paid off.

--Drew

Prime99 said...

Grumpy has a good point about Larry Brown. Who would play for that team? Damman, Randall, and me would likely be locks for the team, but I'm uncertain of everyone's basketball skillz.

GMoney said...

If Aaron Craft was a balla, he might be in my league. I'm THAT GOOD. I never hit rim either because my daggers go straight through the net. Such a wet jumper. And the defense? OMG the defense! Revis Island is a suburb of Money Plantation.

Anonymous said...

I'm not saying recruiting doesn't matter, obviously its a big indicator of where your program is heading. But outside of looking at the final class and how they rank. I just think its hilarious to brag about incoming high schools before they even arrive in the door....Just an opinion I suppose.

- J Saul

GMoney said...

Or that he is trying to make himself feel better after an embarrassing home loss (another one of those pesky buggers!) by sucking off a few 18 year old boys!

Derek Jeter is retiring after this season. Yeah Jeets...let's send you out with your SIXTH ring. Justin Verlander has zero because he is a turd OBVZ.

Grumpy said...

The Money Shot starting 5:

Damman at the 5 because he's the only one big enough to bang inside. His job is to rebound, play D and if we get 4-6 garbage pts. a night, it's gravy.

Prime plays the 4. He can back you down or face up. Slow feet on defense, but Damman will be there to cover the guys who blow by him.

Randall is our 3. Can't play with his back to the basket, but is consistent from mid-range to waaay downtown. Likely the high scorer.

I'm the 2G. Great defense and deadly coming off picks. Can't get my own shot, but consistent catch and shoot. Besides, Coach Brown needs someone who remembers the 50's.

Jeff is the PG. I have no basis for this other than he looks athletic enough to play there and seems smart enough. I thought about Ide here, but his mental stability could be an issue. Dut could probably play the point, but then we have the whole distraction of a gay teammate.





GMoney said...

Your team is awful. You must be Mike Brown. Damman is maybe 6'3" while Prime is a solid 6'6" plus. Way to have guys playing out of position, jerk. Good call on NO DUT though.

You will rue the day that you left me off of this squadron.

White State would slaughter you fools.

Anonymous said...

That's fine... Me, G$, Ace, Drew and Ide would work you.

Seal

GMoney said...

You know what, this could be a future post. Let's hold off on picking teams (although you already picked yours). Just know that I ain't scurrrrrrred.

Anonymous said...

Incognito is ranting about Jonathan Martin on twitter right now...entertaining.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

Prime doesn't have the bulk to play the post. Damman may be undersized there, but he makes up for it in toughness.

Seal, my team takes yours 10 out of 10. You have no answer for Prime or Randall and Ide will be in the locker room with two technicals by half time.

GMoney said...

Knock it off, old timer.

Mr. Ace said...

Give me Shook's Son and Stan, the rest of the team wouldn't even matter.

Prime99 said...

Grump, you do realize I'm 6'6" 250 lbs. right?

I played 5 in high school, but I also can shoot so 3 or 4 is fine. Don't question my STREMPH inside though.

Prime99 said...

Ide would be in the locker room moisturizing his skin and blowing dudes.

GMoney said...

^TRUE DAT!

GMoney said...

I think that I smell Friday's post...smells like shit.

Anonymous said...

My answer for Randall? Let him shoot. His 30% career average ain't scare me.

Robot word: boxpac out
Ide