We all remember waiting with great anticipation for an album. We all remember hearing a hot single and assuming that the rest of the cd would be just as good. We all remember ordering 75 cd's from Columbia House for the price of 2. In doing so, we have all spent our hard earned money on some fucking horrible music. And that's what today is about.
And just to be clear, this isn't most disappointing albums. For example, for me, Lupe Fiasco's Lasers album was a complete and total disappointment because it was basically a techno album with no substance. It wasn't horrible, but didn't come close to meeting my expectations. It wasn't complete and total ass, like, say LL Cool J's recent album, Authentic. Who can ever forget Accidental Racist?
Now, we all have different tastes in music. Mine is obviously a little more rap centric, but I listened to just about everything in the 90's/early 00's. G$ loves him some George Strait. Randall probably only listens to Sum 41. Prime is legally obligated to only listen to 90's music. I'm sure Grump still fires up his old Roger Miller vinyl selection. And Ide listens to whatever hipsters listen to these days. Maybe he can tell us what is hot in Brooklyn right now. But here are my worst investments in awful albums.
Jimmy Ray: Jimmy Ray. The hit song off this album was "Are You Jimmy Ray?" I just watched the video on Youtube...what the fuck was my 13 year old brain thinking? Other than tits and more tits, it was apparently thinking euro-honkytonk-rock was the shit. The album was 10 songs, only one of which was actually released as a single in the US, and they were all terrible.
JT Money: Pimpin' on Wax. This is a great album title. It's a shame it was wasted on an album like this. Now don't get me wrong, I was completely sold when I saw the "Who Dat" video(which I belive Michael Rapaport makes a cameo in as the only white guy). Maybe I just wasn't ready for horrible gangster rap in '99. But this was JT Money's M.O., terrible albums with one hot song. I only fell for it once.
Marcy Playground: Marcy Playground. Sex and Candy is one of those songs that you have to stop and listen to. You can be just about to walk out the door, but if you hear this song come on you will stand there and listen until it's over. Marcy Playground had no chance at matching Sex and Candy, and it seemed like they knew it because every other track had a completely different feel than Sex and Candy. The ultimate one-hit wonder.
MA$E: Double Up. This one hurt me deeply. MA$E's debut album was my first real hip hop album and the first time that my mom was concerned about what kind of music I listened to. I will say forever that Harlem World is a Top 10 Hip Hop album. Double Up has 4 songs that I will still listen to, and that's including a Mad Rapper interlude(back when skits were ELITE). This album was so bad that he retired to become a preacher. Only to return to rap for one more pay check five years later. I was smart enough to not pay money for that.
Puff Daddy: Forever. Lil Kim, R Kelly, Notorious B.I.G., Redman, Busta Rhymes, Carl Thomas, MA$E, Beanie Sigel, Nas, Shyne, Twista, and Jay-Z. What do these people have in common? They were ALL featured on this album. This album of 20 songs that had maybe 4 playable tracks. P.E. 2000 is still one of favorite tracks ever. But this album was just Puff Daddy ruining everything.
Spice Girls: Spice. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Man, I'm still in shock with how terrible that Spice Girls album was. I thought it might get included, but I also thought maybe, just maybe, it was a legit album that could stand the test of time.