|Yes, that is Sam fucking a bodybuilding drag queen with a unicorn and rainbow in the background|
Mr. Ace: So what was it like growing up gay? When did you know you were different?
Michael Sam: At first it was really hard for me. Ever since I was 10 I knew that I was different. I just couldn't identify with the kids in my neighborhood. They would all be talking about their Jordan's or their FUBU jerseys, all I could think about was my pink L.A. Gears. When those things lit up, all eyes were on me. I just wanted people to see me for me.
ME: So was it tough on you, or were you able to find a group of friends who accepted you?
MS: I cried a lot as a kid. Most of the people I grew up with were spending time on the playground, building things with Lego's, playing cops and robbers, or playing catch with their dad. I was cooking with my mom, learning how to put makeup on with my cousins, or dreaming about one day being able to marry the man of my dreams.
ME: I'm really sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how tough that would be.
MS: HA! You believed that shit?
ME: Well yeah, why the fuck wouldn't I? There isn't exactly a blueprint on gay NFL players.
MS: Fuck no that ain't how it was. This ain't no fucking faggy ass Macklemore video. I was born trill and I stay trill. Because I fuck dudes I gotta wear a skirt?
ME: I never said that.
MS: I'll make you put a skirt on real fast, gayboy.
ME: Yeah, lets not do that.
ME: So what was it really like then? Did your family know?
MS: My brother would be like, "Yo cunt, come play with these G.I. Joes. And when you put them away they better not have be laying face to face with their legs wrapped around each other. Some type of gay shit." After my G.I. Joes were done killing shit, they just wanted to cuddle. But Big Mike don't cuddle no more. Once I skeet you gotta hit the street.
ME: Speaking of skeeting, how was it banging chicks? I assume you weren't out your entire life.
MS: My dick is an equal opportunity provider. If a girl wanted it bad enough, I'd give it to her.
ME: So you are no stranger to the vagina?
MS: Whoa whoa whoa, who said anything about pussy? I don't touch that. I get the guts through the butts.
ME: Okay. So you're bi for buttholes?
MS: I've never heard it put so beautifully. Yeah, bi for buttholes.
MS: Man, fuck him. I saw him suckin dick for rocks on several occasions. Bet he didn't mention that in his little interview.
ME: No. No he did not. So did he really have no idea you were gay until Tuesday?
MS: The motherfucker has known for awhile. I made that bitch accept my sexuality.
ME: How did you do that?
MS: I made him accept it. Often.
ME: So you fucked your dad?
MS: I fucked a crackhead. And he was calling me daddy.
MS: So I hear you like the tofu, you little fucking fairy. I only talk to guys who are on a strict all meat diet.ME: I am glad to hear that because--
MS: Why don't you spread your butt cheeks open and make room for this dark meat stick.
ME: Is this how you talk to all guys? Or just white guys who you know you can physically dominate?
MS: It's all pink on the inside.
ME: You make me incredibly uncomfortable.
MS: It's because you can imagine me inside you and you don't know how much you would like it.
ME: Like I said...incredibly uncomfortable.
ME: What about the shower scene? One of the things that is always brought about when talking about gay athletes is them being dong watchers.
MS: I take what I want when I'm in the shower. Prison rules, bitch. Look at me sideways and watch your butt hole gape.
ME: So how do your teammates react?MS: My favorite thing to do in the shower is grab my dick by the head and move my dick hole like it's a mouth. My dick goes over to the kicker every day after practice and says "Get over here, fag. You know I like that fruity booty you got under that towel." He'd look away all scared. Then when he finally got in the shower I'd run up on him, dick in hand, barking like a dog. Motherfucker transferred.
ME: How about what goes on in the pile? When guys are fighting for the ball after the fumble, you always hear players talking about getting their cock tugged or a thumb in the butt. Do you get any more enjoyment out of it then others?
MS: That's when all those fruity fucks come after me. A sports lockerroom is the gayest place on earth, and during those pile ups is when it all comes out. Zach Mettenberger's gay ass was trying to suck my dick through his facemask. A.J. McCarron asked me to have a threesome with him and his girl. I bet Cam Newton will be begging me to fist him after my first strip sack against the Panthers. Those motherfuckers in the closet are the ones you gotta look out for. They'll be up in you real fast if you don't watch. That's why I keep my shit tight at all times. The only thing that gets inside my butt is your tongue. Toss that salad, boy.
ME: I think our time is about up.
MS: TOSS IT!
ME: So if you had a message to GM's in the NFL, what would it be.
MS: I like fucking dudes. BUT I LOVE FUCKING QUARTERBACKS. BANG BANG SKEET SKEET.
This guy is 1st round material in my book. Just protect your butt hole.
|And here is this to wash the gay off|