|Pictured: Tard, Tard, GENIUS, Jizz Mop|
1. Texas fans are still a bunch of racists. Hoo boy, Ide’s grandpa, Red McCombs, came out after the hiring of Charlie Strong by the Horns to say that Strong would be a solid position coach. Yeah, this cat is a cocksucker. He probably wanted Mack gone but not as a means to benefit the black man. He probably called Vince Young “son” or “boy”. That’s one of the more underrated things about college football: most of the big time programs have really racist fans.
2. Lane Kiffin will never get another head coaching job again. As well he shouldn’t. The best part about that situation was the fitting way that he got canned…in as humiliating a way as possible. Speaking of shit stain coaches, Louisville is apparently going to bring Bobby Petrino back. LET HIM LIVE. I’m sure that he and Pitino have a lot of great stories to swap.
3. Michigan is in trouble. I was thinking about this the other night actually while brainstorming for this post. What is Michigan? I’m a fan of Brady Hoke but he has been there for three years now and I can’t even begin to answer that question. What do they do? What is their identity? Look at their conference foes: Michigan State’s whole mantra is that they are going to out-physical you. Ohio State is going to run you off the field. Northwestern runs the spread and does their homework. I don’t know what Michigan’s identity is and that is a very bad thing.
4. Next Year’s QB Class is going to be incredible. I’m not going to cry about guy’s going back to school anymore. They will learn in due time that they made a mistake. But that being said, there are a LOT of ELITE arms coming back/still around in 2014. That should make things fun. Maybe Jameis Winston will learn to talk! More Jesus references please!
5. BradyCakes Running Back Rankings are still moronic. This is the kind of thing that you see from stupid fans when they only watch Big Ten football. He still doesn’t know who Andre Williams and Ka’Deem Carey are.
6. The demise of the SEC is greatly exaggerated. Everyone got a good laugh at the conference for not winning their eighth straight national championship but those that say that the rest of the country has caught up to them are gravely mistaken. The SEC isn’t going anywhere. They are still better than everyone else. You need to DEAL WITH IT.
7. Gus Malzahn is one of the best coaches in the nation. To think that 8 years ago he was coaching high school football. Still hope for you yet, Snoad! I’ve been pimping Gus for a long time here regarding his offense and it remains true to this day…dude is the best play-caller in the country. THE BEST. FACT.
8. RIP BCS. Say what you want to about the BCS but every year they gave us a champion that you could believe was the best. Sure, they were greedy as fuck but I’m going to miss it. As I’ve said here plenty of times before, when things play themselves out on the field, fans can’t argue. And being able to argue about things is what makes being a sports fan great. I’m going to miss the BCS.
9. Ass-kicking football is back. I hate the spread offense. I’ve said this numerous times. I would much rather watch two teams run the pro-style than seeing two teams trying to each run 90 plays. Michigan State and STANFORD FOOTBALL have proven that games and titles can still be won in the trenches and not outside the hashes and I like that. The play action pass will always be one of my favorite plays. Read option? HOMO SHIT.
10. And finally, it isn’t going to be as easy for Urban Meyer as everyone thought. We’re not going to dwell too much on this because we always talk about these guys. When Meyer was hired, he was expected to win national titles immediately. Yeah, he won those first 24 games against awful competition, but he was shown a thing or two over the last two losses. At Ohio, you are always going to get everyone’s best and conference titles aren’t good enough. It’s national championship or a failure of a season. That isn’t really fair but those are the expectations.
I’m not sure about the rest of you, but I found 2013 to be a very enjoyable college football season. CFN already has their first rankings out for 2014 and they have the Fuckeyes at #1. While I don’t know about the rest of the nation, I find this a bit of a reach considering they will be replacing 4 OL, a beast RB woman puncher, Shazier, Roby, and maybe the QB to go along with a less than stellar defense. That doesn’t feel like a #1 team to me. But whatever, that is why they play the games in September not January 9th. Have some final takes for college football today, why don’t you! Finally, we will all miss you, Johnny Manziel. Good luck in Cleveland. You're going to need it.