Monday, January 27, 2014

Warm Thoughts On This Cold Day

This is terrifying.
I don't know about the rest of you poops, but I can't remember a colder, whiter month than the one that we are currently not enjoying.  Even you weirdos who "love snow" have to be getting sick and tired of the negative wind chills and monster snow drifts that appear to be never-ending.  It is really annoying.  We were watching my parents' dog for the last week and going for long walks in this crap has been downright terrible.  It's time for some warmth again.  And since we're going to have to wait for that to happen, maybe if we focus on pitchers and catchers reporting, it will bring along some good vibes. 

I've got my first umpire's meeting tonight and my dad just got back from a week of umpiring down at Yankees Fantasy Camp (brought me back an autographed Shane Spencer baseball which is my second autographed Shane Spencer baseball so, you know, my retirement is taken care of).  I'm ready for some baseball.  Why?  Because baseball season means no more shoveling snow and I want that immediately.  So today, I'm going to take a look at our favorite baseball teams and address what I've liked, what I've not liked, and what work is left to do before Spring Training starts.

Boston Red Sox:
Like - Re-signing Mike Napoli was a must and made all the sense in the world for what he did last season.  I also kind of like the move to sign Grady Sizemore.  Why not?  I might not have given him a major league deal, but if his injuries are behind him, well, they aren't but whatever.
Don' Like - AJ Pierzynski replacing Salty is a mistake.  It is a big mistake.
Work Left - Bolstering the bullpen.  They got a lot of mileage out of Tazawa and Uehara but I don't know if you can count on that for the long haul.

Atlanta Braves:
Like - Letting the veteran pitchers walk.  Tim Hudson left for SF and Paul Maholm is moving on.  The Braves have enough young arms that there is no reason to overpay old guys with diminishing stuff.
Don't Like - Allowing McCann to leave.  It was inevitable but it will still hurt.  Filling his big bat with a combo of Gerald Laird and Ryan Doumit isn't going to work.  Plus, Evan Gattis isn't going to hit like he did in 2013.
Work Left - Buying out Dan Uggla.  He can't play.  He hasn't been able to for years.  For as bad as BJ Upton is, at least they have players to put in when he is one of his many funks. They don't have that luxury with Uggla.  They need to fix that.

Cincinnati Reds:
Like - That they didn't overreact (yet) and make an unnecessary trade.  The window is closing with this group as currently constructed so if they want to make a run in 2014, they can't deal Phillips or Bailey.  Homer is out after this season but they can still benefit from a monster contract year out of him (or at least they hope).
Don't Like - What they have in CF.  Billy Hamilton probably isn't ready yet even though he is the Usain Bolt of baseball.  He probably can't hit enough.  The Reds lost Choo but don't seem to have a back-up plan.  Chris Heisey is not a viable back-up plan.
Work Left - They need some sort of RH platoon CF even if it is somebody like Reed Johnson.

Chicago White Sox:
N/A as this team is ALL IN on a monster rebuild that has been a long time coming.  I really like them flipping Addison Reed for former RedHawks CF Adam Eaton.  There is no point in having a good, young closer if you are going to lose 90+ games for at least the next three years.

Detroit Tigers:
Like - Signing Joe Nathan.  Even when the Tigers got fluke seasons out of Todd Jones and Papa Nachos Bell Grande, you knew that it wasn't going to last.  They have never had a rock solid closer.  Now they do...which I do not care for.
Don't Like - Losing out on Choo.  The Fielder and Fister dumps were supposed to pave the way for Choo.  Yet, they lost out on him.  I'm not sure how much longer Hunter can still mash as he enters his age 39 season.  And now LF is being anchored by a horrible combination of Steve Lombardozzi, Rajai Davis, Andy Dirks, and I think that Don Kelly is still around.  That's not good.
Work Left - You need a back-up option for 3B.  I keep hearing that some good young guy is poised to take over but the Indians once thought the same with Andy Marte.  Be prepared for disappointment and have a contingency plan.  Might want to pluck Placido Polanco off the scrap heap as insurance.  Or...BRING BACK INGE!

Chicago Cubs:
Like - That they avoided past mistakes.  They came close to doing it again when they went bananas after Tanaka, but losing him is a blessing.  Don't commit big money to guys while you are in full blown tank mode.  Although a 25 year old ace would have been nice, it wasn't the right play at the right time for Theo.
Don't Like - Honestly, I don't hate anything.  They are letting the young guys play.  I am pretty excited to see the one guy that the Yankees wanted and lost out on, Cuban OF Jorge Soler.
Work Left: The Cubs have two OFs on their 40 man scheduled to make more than the league minimum.  Yeah, they could use a guy or two out there.  But stick to the plan and build around Rizzo, Castro, Soler, and Mike Olt.  It's going to get worse before it gets better but at least there is a plan in place now.

Cleveland Indians:
Like - John Axford as the new (likely) closer.  That's a nice upgrade over Chris Perez and his pot dog.  This also allows the returning arms to go back into their familiar roles.  Hopefully, Pestano remembers how to pitch this season since his 2013 was horrendous.
Don't Like - Back to the scrap heap.  The Tribe attacked free agency in 2013 but have done virtually nothing this winter.  That's not good.  We know that the franchise operates under cap restraints, but they need to keep moving forward.  The 2013 team caught a lot of breaks so you have to expect a return to the mean in 2014.  That is why a roster upgrade, somewhere, has to happen.
Work Left - Re-sign Ubaldo.  He wants 100 million.  He isn't going to get that.  See if he wants to do one year for 18-20 million and then he can go out again next winter.  That also allows the team to either make a run this year or trade him at the deadline.

New York Yankees
Like - It's a brand new team!  You've got to admit, the new lineup is very intriguing.  I love the shift from bombing the short RF porch to speed and defense.  Ellsbury, Jeter, Beltran, Soriano, Teix, McCann, K. Johnson?, Roberts?, and Gardner...that's pretty damn good.  They better fucking stay healthy.  And the pitching staff looks pretty good as well.  I'm going to like these guys.
Don't Like - All of this change yet nothing done in the bullpen.  Robertson should be fine as closer but I have no idea how we're going to get to him.  It seems like we're counting on 7 innings every game from the starter.
Work Left -  ARMS.  I wanted them to sign Balfour to be insurance like when we signed Soriano.  He went to Tampa instead.  I'm not too worried about it though because now that 189 is out the window, money is no issue at all.

There we go; a little baseball talk to get us into a warmer state of mind.  Now get outside and shovel your fucking sidewalk.  Taking care of your driveway is great but the sidewalk is more important.  Never forget that.  It's OK if you slip on the ice on your driveway.  It is mos def NOT OK if someone else slips and falls on your sidewalk.  And don't use salt.  It's bad for dog paws and dogs are the most important group in America.  GO YANKEES!

31 comments:

Grumpy said...

Or be like Cakes and pay some Mexican $20 to shovel your driveway.

Renal Specialty exam said...

This blog is really awesome in all respects.
Mortgages Bournemouth

Mr. Ace said...

We don't rebuild, we reload.

Jeff said...

Fuck this winter. Gotta do with global warming, right Cakes? (serious question). I'm moving back souf asap and by asap I mean when I retire in 40 years.

Whatever moves the Red Sox make are clearly the right ones considering Ben Cherrington > erebody.

I don't mind the Grady Cakes signing. His whole contract is pretty much incentive-laden from what I've read. Just hoping to get anything from him is Jackie Bradley falls on his face again.

GMoney said...

Renal Specialty Exam makes a great point! Sat in traffic for 90 minutes this morning = not ELITE

My Twitter rant against the Cavs last night was definitely ELITE.

Mr. Ace said...

My Suns ML and UNDER was more Elite. Down 20 at half I thought it was over. Flip to FSO and the Suns are up with a minute left and the under is looking strong. Great game.

Did anybody watch the Pro Bowl? I did not, but heard it was elite.

GMoney said...

I bet the under 90 on the Pro Bowl. Felt damn proud of myself!

Prime99 said...

That was the nicest thing you've ever written about the Cubs. This cold weather has somehow melted your icy heart.

It's been mid-60s to low-70s here in Cali. However, when your snow melts feel free to ship the remaining water our way. Hopefully we get some rain soon...

Anonymous said...

You didn't like the tigers losing out on choo? I would have been pissed if they signed him to a long term deal. That's why we got out of that horrible prince contract. Also, you failed to mention the addition of Kinsler AND JOBA! The tigers bullpen should be vastly improved this year. Best rotation + Jesus Cabrera + solid bullpen = 4th straight AL central title. How they blow it in the playoffs is TBD. Hopefully the windians can win their play in game this year so the tigers can have an easier path to the ship.

The Yankees lost their best player and you're excited? Your lineup is older than Grumpy and Sorianno will return to earth.

It will be fun watching the windians fall back to earth now that they have some expectations. Whimsy windians fans make a happy dut.

Dut

GMoney said...

It's a fresh start with almost an entirely new lineup (which is actually quite accurate since only Gardner and Soriano are left). Losing Cano hurt, but they've upgraded almost everywhere else. That's fine. Plus, that faggot likes to hang out with Jay-Z at the Grammys. He probably got married to some other homo by Queen Latifah and Madonna.

Joba is terrible. He will be the closer in Toledo for most of this season.

Choo would have been a better get than Prince because Choo isn't 97% lard.

And I don't think you have the best rotation. It's up there, but it isn't the best. Until you get a COREY KLUBER on the staff, I can't say that you're the best.

Anonymous said...

Not sure what to expect from the Tribe this year. My heart says they can do what they did last year but my head says otherwise. They had a magical run last year. Not sure if they can repeat it. But Swisher and Bourne both had down years, along with Pestano, so if they bounce back, maybe they can make another run.

Starting pitching is a big concern. Losing Ubaldo will hurt (never in a million years did I think I would ever type that) but maybe can swoop in at the last minute and get him back. I doubt it though.

Bottom line, I don't know what expect. I'm sure the Tigers will dick around as usual and keep us in it for most of the year. Maybe they can do it again. I'm not betting against Tito. I'm trying to talk myself into believing.

-Damman

GMoney said...

Roll Tribe?

Anonymous said...

LOLZ at Dut being excited about Joba!

Im on the same fence as Damman. Highly expect the Tribe to fall a little back to earth this year and not be as competitive... Our pitching staff is in trouble.

Also, we all know the Tigers are the favorites and are really good. Shouldnt you guys be saying now that its World Series or bust (considering the amount of money you are spending)? Its Laughable that you would be excited and/or content with another AL Central Title.

Seal

Cakes said...

We are just paying the price for the last two winters. Global warming doesn't have much to do with it. It's because of the jet stream and availability of cold air to go with that moisture. Sometimes the ingredients just come together.

What's wrong with paying some punk to shovel my driveway? I didn't want to do it for the third time in 24 hours. Besides, I took the money from my wife's purse. It was basically free.

Axford is a major upgrade over Perez. I like that move. Agree that Pestano needs to return to form.

I still like our chances to get 90 wins again. The rotation is young and hungry. Ubaldo may have had the flukiest season of all time. I'm not sure he is worth that much coin, even if it's just for a season. If the price comes down, then I'm all about it.

GMoney said...

The rotation is young and hungry.

You have no idea if this is true. Way to spit out stupid cliches.

GET A SNOW BLOWER. You will never regret it.

Yeah, the Tigers getting pumped about AL Central crowns is pathetic. That would be like the Patriots jerking off over an AFC East title.

Prime99 said...

Are you sure Cakes isn't a special assignment Spring Training coach for the Tribe?

Cakes said...

Maybe that was cliche but I'm down with our rotation even without Ubaldo. I like the looks of Masterson, Salazar, Kluber, MCAllister and Bauer/Carrasco. Bring it.

Agree with Damman though. Brohio and Bourne need to bounce back with big years.

GMoney said...

That pitching rotation is cold garbage. Only a mental defective would argue otherwise.

Anonymous said...

I'm loving this winter...love me some snow and cold....fuck the heat.

LOLZ @ thinking a team lost out on paying a guy $21M a year when he's 36, 37 and 38....and it's fucking Shin Soo Choo.

No mention of missing out on A-Fraud for the year? I'm sure he's gonna be awesome when eh comes back next year!

I think the Royals will come in 2nd in the AL Central.

--Drew

GMoney said...

They're going to buy him out. I would be shocked if A-Rod plays for the Yankees again.

You want to be a big boy, then act like it. Worry about the first few years and deal with the back end later. FACT is that Choo would have been a nice addition to the roster while the window is open. Even though he is an Oriental, he is still a really good player.

Cakes said...

Why is that rotation "cold garbage"? Every one of those guys had extended periods of success last season (minus the #5 spot). Not everyone can throw $160 million at some unproven nip and hope they do well. I'm more than happy to go into the season with that roataion.

Anonymous said...

Oriental....nip....where's the gook and slant?

--Drew

GMoney said...

So you're cool with missing the playoffs again? Good to know. When you're done shoveling the driveway, go clean some asshole's attic.

Anonymous said...

The windians may miss the playoffs again, but at least they didn't spend $150 mil doing it! Just kidding. Only loser windian fans cry about payroll.

I also find it comical that a Kentucky basketball fan would complain about payroll in another sport (slow seal). What a hypocrite.

Thanks for comparing the Tigers to one of the most successful franchises in the NFL. Means a lot.

Dut

GMoney said...

No, I just compared the Indians to the Bills. Big difference.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the Tigers getting pumped about AL Central crowns is pathetic. That would be like the Patriots jerking off over an AFC East title.

Evidence.

Dut

Cakes said...

Tigers fans are awful cocky for finishing a full ONE game in front of the Tribe last season.

We did make the playoffs, G$. The patch on the uni's said so.

Anonymous said...

Who's crying about payroll? Do men under 5'5" read things differently than how they are written, im confused?

I'll repeat since you dont understand words... It's funny that you seem to be content with an AL Central title, when it should be world series or bust with the Tigers by now.

Your UK joke was cute.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Seal- I'm content dominating the windians year after year. Deal with it.

Lolz @ Cakes saying the tigers are only one game better than the windians. What was the head to head record again? And didn't the tigers mail it in the last week of the season because they had clinched already? Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night.

Dut

Mr. Ace said...

Nothing worse than baseball smack in January.

GMoney said...

Dut, you suck at analogies. I would be comparing the Tigers to the Patriots if you losers DIDN'T celebrate pointless division crowns.