Monday, January 13, 2014
So on Wednesday, there is no update. The phone number there still has an automated message saying that they would be closed on Wed but nothing about Thursday. I call them again on Thursday morning, still no answer, and this time no automated reply. We get home on Thursday night and I decide to do some ELITE Facebook stalking of people that work there. Yep, on Wednesday, the entire staff was told by the owner that they no longer had jobs (these are mostly college kids that work there) and that the day care was closed ASAP. No warning to anyone. Since you have to pre-pay, do you think that anyone is getting refunded? I don't think so. I understand fucking over humans but you don't pull that shit on adorable dogs. EVER. The owner of Noah's Bark just fucked over his employees, customers, and hundreds of dogs. And he took all the money with him. I hope that that guy suffers when he dies from being raped by a dinosaur. YOU ARE THE WORST. But after some research, we've got our little guy in a new place this week (on Riverside). Thieves are the Ides of society. Looking forward to seeing what The PupTown Lounge has in store for our fella. This new Doggy Day Care place better be "doin' work, doggy". Rant over. Oh, and if you're wondering how much this guy stole from us, we only had two sessions left to burn so it was like $35. I've killed shitheads for way less than that. On to the worst of the NFL Divisional Round!
Russell Wilson - I hope that you all took my advice and bet the under on this game because the weather was even worse than I thought it would be and it was never in doubt. That being said, Rusty Dubs was absolutely atrocious. He was the worst player on the field. FACT. Brandon Weeden could've done what he did. Also a FACT.
Sean Payton - He called a horrible offensive game and decided that it was a good idea to try two 45+ yard field goals with the barely average Shayne Graham. That was DUMB. Rob Ryan's defense played their asses off (then again, they didn't have to defend the pass). I didn't think that either team really deserved to win this game.
Pussy Hurtin' - Nice comeback, Percy. Died on the field twice. His mouthpiece is probably still there somwhere. Go away.
John Lynch - How many times are you going to tell that story of Bill Parcells wanting Khiry Robinson to get more carries? Because you finished that game with 104 times.
Golden Tate - Colston will catch a ton of LULZ for his weirdo decision to throw a lateral on what turned out to be the last play of the game but they still would have needed a hail mary to be answered which likely would not have been. Then again, this situation would have never mattered at all if the homo from Notre Dame could field an easy ground ball. In conclusion, this was a garbage goddamn game and I'm glad that I bet the under and bought the extra points to get it to SEA -6.5. DOUBLE WIN!
Ulysses S. Luck - I think that we can all agree that Andrew Luck has the worst beard ever. Twitter seems to think that he is going for the look of Civil War General/Amish Butter Churner. I agree with this. It looks horrible yet somehow even worse when Luck is frothing at the mouth. Luck is great but he is proving to be somewhat of a turnover machine.
Greg Schiano - So Blunt ran for four touchdowns on Saturday night which might have been the biggest upset in the history of football. Between Blunt and Aqib Talib, just know that Schiano just gave these two studs to Bill Belichick for basically nothing in return. So if the Patriots win the AFC or Super Bowl, we can all blame Schiano for being a horrible judge of talent.
Dan Dierdorf - You will not be missed in the booth. At least he saved his worst for last. I think that that is all that I have to say about that game. It wasn't very good and the Colts luck finally ran out. Pun intended.
Ric Flair - Uh oh, even if The Nature Boy was welcome at the Panthers game, he was going to get arrested on a bench warrant. Poor Naitch. Literally, very poor Naitch.
Anquan Boldin - Christ, for being such a great player, dude is really hard to root for because of how he acts. Just walk back to the fucking huddle instead of head-butting everyone on the defense. Speaking of which...
Carl Cheffers and Crew - They were fucking terrible. I am sort of a savant when it comes to NFL officiating. I know the good ones (Mike Carey) and the horrible ones (Jeff Triplette). The crew in Carolina was horrible. They let EVERYONE act like apes except for that one guy on Carolina who had the weakest headbutt in world history yet was flagged while Boldin was not two drives later. And then they missed a too many men penalty on the final drive of the first half. TERRIBLE. MORE BOOGER.
Riverboat Ron - I thought that Cam played really well for his first playoff game ever but their offense inside the five just killed them. If you're going to gamble on fourth downs, you can't fail. They failed. The Panthers belonged despite the final score but, I think I can speak for all of us when I say, YES PLEASE NINERS/SEAHAWKS.
Ken Whisenhunt - If the Lions job was "his to lose" than his play-calling in the first three quarters should have lost it. That was awful. What were the even running other than "1 yard run" and "dropped pass play"? That game was RIPE for the taking and the poop offense gave it. Well, that and...
The Chargers DL - It's called a fucking hard count. They do it at all levels. Fucking Big Rex even did it. SD jumped offsides five times. FIVE times. They were probably too sad that Manti T'eo got hurt. He is such an inspiration.
Jim Nantz - We get it. You love the Broncos. You need to do a better job of disguising who you're rooting for.
Peyton Manning - So what? He didn't cover and scored 24 points at home against a really bad defense. Nothing has changed. Dude is a loser and you all know it.
Well, this weekend's games all pretty much sucked which was a surprise. But, HOLY SHIT, next weekend's conference championship games are about as ELITE as it gets. Sure, the Redskins aren't there but the second through fifth best teams are! DEN/NE and SEA/SF will be amazing. I can't wait. And after going 4-0 on the bet sheet yesterday, my wallet can't wait either (early indication is betting the Patriots and Seahawks). Oh, and if there are any Fuckeye hoops fans out there, please discuss your tremendous home loss to Wayne Trace yesterday. Pop in tomorrow for the first post from Randall Stevens, BRAH!