Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Mail-In Post: Random Topics

Hey Chicago, whaddaya say?
This doesn’t happen all that often, but I’m mailing this one in today. Work was a pain in the ass yesterday and I just didn’t feel like putting in much effort into my internet job. You’re just going to have to DEAL WITH IT and GIVE IT A REST. Here are some potential topics to get us through today that aren’t very interesting on their own.

*Clark The Cub! - Hoo boy, this is...something.  To be honest, though, I kind of like Clark.  He really embodies the spirit of that organization: a cute and cuddly joke.

*James Franklin is the new coach at Penn State – This is old news but you can’t forget about the faction of Penn State who argued that they shouldn’t hire him because he handled the Vandy rapes wrong (in their opinion). Wow. You can’t make this stuff up. PSU fans are rapidly rising in the Worst Fans Ever rankings. By the way, this was a tremendous hire.

*Urban completes his staff – He brought over Larry Johnson from Penn State to coach the DL which is apparently a coup. He also stole Bert Bielema’s DC at Arkansas to be his co-DC. I’d love to know why Chris Ash made that career move. Coach defense in the SEC or call FagNasty Fickell your boss? Interesting decision there.  At least now, when your defense underachieves again, you can blame FagNasty Fuckstick AND Crispy Ass!

*Jim Caldwell to the Lions – This has to be the least inspiring hire in sports history. This guy sucks. I’m sorry, Lions fans. I’m even more sorry for Browns fans who have to wait for Adam Gase (or A Dumb Gay if you like to COUNT IT) to get done coaching in the playoffs before he accepts his job for one season. Since Peyton Manning calls his own plays at the line anyway (OMAHA!) then why does his OC get any credit ever? Typical Browns.

*Lane Kiffin to OC at Alabama – I may be insane but this makes a ton of sense to me and I think it is a really good hire. I must be drunk.

*Justified – You can always talk about Justified. Thoughts on Michael Rappaport? I hate the guy but he is about as “Florida” as it gets and that’s what they want.

*How about some more talk about a RibFest date? 3/1 or 3/8…what works best for the unwashed masses?

That’s it for today. Again, apologies for the brief post but I’m just not feeling it. I wouldn’t say that I’m OVERRATED or anything but today lacked it’s typical TRANSCENDENCE.

28 comments:

Grumpy said...

What could be better than CBJ hockey and ribs? Hookers and blow, but that's just me.

Nate said...

I hear about RibFest, but don't know what it is or the significance.

What is RibFest?

GMoney said...

(smacks taste out of Nate's mouth)(does it again)

It's a day where internet friends and foes gather to break pig bones. This will be year 3. You will attend.

Grumpy said...

Who is the RibFest Chairman/woman?

Jeff said...

Grump, you've been appointed Chairman/women a couple times by G$ in the comments on here. You need to drink more coffee so you can stay up past 11AM.

GMoney said...

You're also in charge of securing some filthy, nasty 1930's era stag films.

Randall Stevens said...

3/8 is my vote. I can make it on the 1st but it won't be until after ribs. I want to be there for dinner because I heard Ide owes someone ribs for a bet he made. Something about who finishes better in the Big 10 between Michigan and Ohio?

Grumpy said...

Then I say March 1st or 8th. Let's hear opinions on those dates.

We already know Cakes will blow us off and Seal will be there but won't sit with us.

Looking forward to meeting Randall Stevens; everyone says he's a douche. Maybe he could bring Gerald Rollie.

Anonymous said...

Can I stay at your house the night of ribfest, Drooler?

Seal

Prime99 said...

Clark the Cub is so dumb. I'm not sure what marketing person thought this was a good idea, and I can't believe Theo rubber stamped it. Maybe the Cubs need cheerleaders with t-shirt shooting airguns as well? My patience runs thin with the Epstein era so they better start winning soon.

I have been binge watching Breaking Bad and I finished it last night. It feels great to catch up with the rest of the world. Phenomenal series overall. I can't believe getting involved with Ide's neo-Nazi family didn't work out for the best for Walt!

GMoney said...

Prime, I would have thought that you supported Clark! After all, you are going to want Running Zack to be a Cubs fan and this little guy can only help. God knows that the play on the field isn't going to lead him in that fan direction. Maybe Clark can? Theo is doing this for YOU!

Seal and Drooler in bunk beds...nice visual.

Cavs beat the Lakers last night as Mike Brown got his revenge. CHAMPIONSHIP.

Anonymous said...

Either of those dates works for me. Slow Seal...if you feel comfortable sleeping around me, that's your choice.

Franklin was a great hire...PSU fans are the WORST.

I don't see anything wrong with the Cubs having a mascot. They are for kids...and going to schools...public events....who cares.

Lane Kiffin is dumb...you are dumb too for thinking it's a great hire.

Zimmer to the Vikings...RIP Bengals.

It would be funny if the Browns hire that guy. The Browns and Lions hiring guys solely based on their achievements with Peyton Manning is very Browns and Lions.

Larry Johnson was a grand slam hire. Ash seems very good...but, you're a moron if you think he came here to be Fickell's biatch. Ash is definitely calling the shots now.

--Drooler

Prime99 said...

G$ and Drooler make good points- I'm still not FOR Clark, but I am not against him either. It just seems unnecessary, but for kids and public events, that makes sense to a degree.

GMoney said...

Fickell is getting demoted then yet is still sticking around. Hilarious. This guy is the biggest loser in the world. AT LEEST HE CAN RECROOT THO!

Maybe the Cubs would be more kid friendly if they didn't charge 50+ bucks for a bleacher seat, keep their tops on, stop being bad every year, and have intelligent fans. And even then that is a big MAYBE.

Nate said...

Fickell is getting demoted, but not by much.

He'll be in charge of the run defense, whereas Ash will be in charge of the pass defense.

As of right now, it's too early to say which will be calling plays.

Mike Vrabel leaving may actually result in an upgrade to our DL coaching.

Prime99 said...

Does Fickell have dick pics of UFM3? Why is he not gone?

Some fans in every fan base are insufferable. I've been in the bleachers and hated some other Cubs fans, or had arguments in Reno with random Bears fans about why they are dumb. However, there are also awful fans in your fan bases, too. Also, it's hard to argue the greatness of the Cubs fans here at this blog (COY '12, Colombus' hottest bartender, etc.)

Anonymous said...

Kiper's first mock draft has the Browns taking Hyde with the 26th pick. So, they would be swapping shitty Trent Richardson for Hyde. That would be a great swap.

--Drew

Randall Stevens said...

The only difference between Hyde and Richardson is that when Hyde sucks no one will be dumb enough to give the Browns a first round pick for him.

Anonymous said...

Kiper is a fucking idiot since the Browns brass was crystal clear on their desire to never have a first round pick. Not that I wouldn't love it, but they've stated that it would never happen. I hate the fucking Browns.

LULZ at Haslem saying "it was supposed to take this long" to find a coach. Yes, that's how you do it, let all the great candidate goes, then find the one lone wolf still roaming the earth. This has a zero percent chance of blowing up.

RibFest notes: Not go to that shitty bar like last year. And I am totally spending a lot of time with whichever one of Randall's loser friends/family members he leaves stranded at some adjacent table. Two years running this has happened. The third will be the best. Early March means no baseball draft, right? I am happy with that.

Ide

Ide

Anonymous said...

*first round pick running back.

Anonymous said...

Prime-excellent job in pointing out the greatness of the Cubs fans that frequent this blog.

Next year is here

Buke

GMoney said...

STOP TALKING ABOUT THE DRAFT. HOT TAEKS ON THAT IS COMING TOMORROW BECAUSE IM DESPERATE AND HAVE NOTHING ELSE. ME ME ME!!!

Prime, my teams have nothing but classy fans. I know nothing of which you speak. Now let me get back to my snifter of sherry.

Anonymous said...

I am authorized to give unlimited TAKES since I routinely attend the event (this year included!). If you were worth your weight in blogitude, you would get me press passes. Not sure how I like the draft being in May this year. Doesn't feel right.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Don't care for the mascot but it's for the kids so whatever. It's not going to make them be any worse. We're going to win the World Series in 2015 anyways because Marty mcfly says so.

Lolz lions, only thing worse than missing the playoffs this season is following that up with hiring Caldwell.

Fun fact: Adam Gases brother was the CEO of th company I used to work at. Total deuchebag.

Restrictions for who can attend ribfest because I might be interested this year

Larry

GMoney said...

We've let Dut in the last two years which means anyone is welcome. There is an initiation though. You have to comb the sauce out of Grumpy's beard and eyebrows.

Anonymous said...

Ide...think you can bring one of your Hollywood friends to Rib Fest? G$ is always the biggest celebrity, but we should aim to go bigger.

--Drew

GMoney said...

He'll find someone from Laguna Beach that has nothing better to do.

Anonymous said...

I'll make a few calls. Maybe a low level model (READ: cute bartender/server) or something. I am going to a couple fashion week events and parties, so we will see what FRESH LIES I can come up with for those.

Ide