|Christ, not another fucking list from this guy|
As we patiently await a fifth straight Ohio Buckeyes loss tonight (I believe in you, John Groce!), I thought that I would spend today ranking the ten best college basketball coaches in America. Now, this is not about who recruits the best or who wins the most. This is way more biased than that, BRAH! The way that I am judging this list is by saying that if I gave all of these guys the exact same roster, who do I believe would coach them up the best/get the most out of them. And you lose points if you constantly look confused or are a lunatic on the bench. I demand poise from my coaches! There are some mega monster names omitted from this list so that should lead to some ELITE debate.
G$’s Ten Best College Basketball Coaches in America
10. Jim Boeheim – respect a man who gets caught on camera picking his nose EVERY game
9. John Calipari – Life would have been so much more enjoyable had this dirtbag never won a title…but he did so I have to show a little bit of respect to the guy who made the Dribble Drive Motion offense popular
8. Jay Wright
7. Billy Donovan
6. Shaka Smart – This will certainly piss some people off but he is a superstar
5. Sean Miller
4. Mike Krzyzewski
3. Tom Izzo
2. Bo Ryan – Love him or—well, almost everyone hates him—he is a great coach and gets the most out of every Klansman that shows up in his gym
1. Rick Pitino – No brainer here...no one else comes close
No Bill Self. No Thad Matta. No Roy Williams. Not even a Crean Pie! Hell, I didn’t even want to include #10 since he doesn’t coach defense but he does seem to be getting better with age. This should spark some interesting arguments today. No doubt about that. And yes, I actually don’t think that Thad is a top ten coach and this is not an attempt to troll you Ohio fans. DEAL WITH IT.
Mr. Ace re-debuts one week from today. Never forget. THE ANIMAL—whoops, I mean THE JUICE CLEANSE IS BACK.