Thursday, January 23, 2014

G$ Ranks The Best College Hoops Coaches In The Country

Christ, not another fucking list from this guy
I’m sure that I have said this before but I believe that coaching in college basketball means more to a team’s success than any other sport/league. If you have a mental defective like Bruce Weber running the show, then you’re going to always underachieve. When you have a Brad Stevens at the helm, you make the championship game in back-to-back years as a mid-major. There is a reason why the same guys are swapping national titles despite losing studs after one year all the time: they get the most out of what they have and they know how to lead.

As we patiently await a fifth straight Ohio Buckeyes loss tonight (I believe in you, John Groce!), I thought that I would spend today ranking the ten best college basketball coaches in America. Now, this is not about who recruits the best or who wins the most. This is way more biased than that, BRAH! The way that I am judging this list is by saying that if I gave all of these guys the exact same roster, who do I believe would coach them up the best/get the most out of them. And you lose points if you constantly look confused or are a lunatic on the bench. I demand poise from my coaches! There are some mega monster names omitted from this list so that should lead to some ELITE debate.

G$’s Ten Best College Basketball Coaches in America
10. Jim Boeheim – respect a man who gets caught on camera picking his nose EVERY game
9. John Calipari – Life would have been so much more enjoyable had this dirtbag never won a title…but he did so I have to show a little bit of respect to the guy who made the Dribble Drive Motion offense popular
8. Jay Wright
7. Billy Donovan
6. Shaka Smart – This will certainly piss some people off but he is a superstar
5. Sean Miller
4. Mike Krzyzewski
3. Tom Izzo
2. Bo Ryan – Love him or—well, almost everyone hates him—he is a great coach and gets the most out of every Klansman that shows up in his gym
1. Rick Pitino – No brainer here...no one else comes close

No Bill Self. No Thad Matta. No Roy Williams. Not even a Crean Pie! Hell, I didn’t even want to include #10 since he doesn’t coach defense but he does seem to be getting better with age. This should spark some interesting arguments today. No doubt about that. And yes, I actually don’t think that Thad is a top ten coach and this is not an attempt to troll you Ohio fans. DEAL WITH IT.

Mr. Ace re-debuts one week from today. Never forget. THE ANIMAL—whoops, I mean THE JUICE CLEANSE IS BACK.

31 comments:

Mr. Ace said...

Look at Jon Beilein's career and tell me how he isn't better than half these guys. You can't. For this injustice we shall go over, in great detail, the art of the 1-3-1 and the high pick n roll.

MuDawgfan said...

No titles in his resume, but for an old bag of dirt, Jim Larranaga sure got alot of out his kids at Bowling Green, George Mason and now at Da U.

He could be a top 15 pick on your list G$

GMoney said...

You work at BG--you are never considered such a high honor.

LOL John Beilein! If Soulja Roy didn't make it then neither is this corpse fucker.

Anonymous said...

Love the topic today.

Will be back in a bit to add my thoughts but quickly needed to post, LOLZZZZ AT BEILEIN BEING ON THIS LIST!

Seal

Mr. Ace said...

Beilein > Jay Wright for sure.

If Cal didn't pay his players I don't think he is on this list. He is basically Soulja Roy with sanctions.

GMoney said...

Jay Wright is way more handsome than Beilein and thus cracks the top ten. It's science.

The real question is what happened to Ide. We are on Day 4 now of him being gone (which has been great OBVZ). My guess is that he is currently in the footholds of a slave ship that transports whites to Africa for hard manual labor. They're making a movie out of it, too, since he is such a big star in Hollywood. 12 Years A Faggot.

Anonymous said...

Since 2005 when Coach Matta took over a pretty mediocre program...
5 B10 regular season titles
4 B10 tournament titles

Same time frame...Izzo & Bo Ryan combined...
4 regular season titles
2 tourney titles

Maybe looking like Duane Ressler is clouding your judgment here, but come on...

Buke

GMoney said...

While I got you out of bed to be completely a non-homer, I'm sure, I'm sorry but Thad ain't that great for what he gives himself to work with (a ton of talent).

As I said at the start, recruiting isn't considered at all. Bo and Izzo are better gameday coaches. FACT. Or in the case of this point, DEAL WITH IT.

There is not one sane person who would argue that Thad is a better basketball coach than those two.

Anonymous said...

Recruiting is one of the most important aspects of being a coach. The fact that you completely ignore this fact makes this list worthless. Do you think Caliparri wins a title without his recruiting/cheating skillz? HAIL NAHH! I'd rather have a coach that can recruit ELITE athletes (Thad Matta) and "not be a great gameday coach" than someone like Bo Ryan. Yer dumb.

Dut

Anonymous said...

Dut is correct....really weird to not include recruiting. Also, are you saying that Izzo doesn't recruit as well as Thad...because, Thad has done better than Izzo in the conference and tourney since he joined. They are also .500 against each other.

I would also have included Belein.

--Drew

Randall Stevens said...

I don't know why Beilien on this list is so LULZ. He revived a West Virginia program that was poop sauce and turned around a Michigan program that barely had a pulse. Not only did he turn them around...he made the NCAA finals last year and has Michigan tied for the Big 10 lead currently after losing the national player of the year, losing their 2nd best player to the NBA and having their 3rd best player injured the entire season. He does more with less than just about anyone.

Mr. Ace said...

Conference success is irrelevant to me when talking about coaches. The tourney means everything.

I have seen a lot of people question Thad as an in game coach. If the list is purely based on coaching ability then I get it. But when I look at his success in the tourney he should probably be on the list.

Jay Wright LULZ.

GMoney said...

Great...you idiots are arguing against the parameters of the list. Way to set the bar higher for idiocy. I know that recruiting is a very important part of being a coach. But being a good salesman doesn't make you a great coach.

Today is about who I think are the best coaches. If you want to do a list of best recruiters than have at it.

I have a hard time understanding how you are getting confused by this. Typical Ohio moronic behavior.

I'll listen all day about Thad and Beilein being better basketball coaches than Boeheim and Cal. That would be a lot of fun to see who can be the dumbest.

By the way, Mr. Ace, WHERE IS MY FUCKING MONEY FROM MSFL DOMINATION!!!

GMoney said...

Here is what today is boiling down so far:

I am having a debate on my favorite deep dish pizzas and you all are screaming about how I forgot NY style. No I didn't. You just don't understand the topic.

Prime99 said...

Maybe this list is actually "G$'s Gay Crush On Coaches Top 10." Rumor has it that he once whispered into Rick Pitino's ear, "I want to have your abortion."

Anonymous said...

Thank you Dut & Drew! Recruiting does matter & if that is not being considered, Izzo isn't exactly coaching up northwestern players, he's got multiple mcdonalds all americans in most of his classes.

I didn't say Coach Matta was better than either or both in my earlier comment, but since he's had better results in the B10 than #2 & #3 on this list...COMBINED...its hard to believe he shouldn't at least be in the top 10.

Buke

Jeff said...

Sure you can make a list based on your own criteria, but you can't ignore key components of being successful in that position.

You're judging a steak on how the chef cooked it and not actual piece of meat.

The best steaks come from chefs who chose their own meat and then cook it.

And we all know how you like your steak.

Well done, unlike this list.

Anonymous said...

Jeff...bringing the BOOM!

Prime...You owe me no thanks for not making you stay up late last night talking to me on social media about how the Red Wings beat the Blackhawks....would never make you do such a thing.

I think Ide's been on a bender with Bieber and it ended last night. Once he gets out of the Miami Detox he'll probably post.

--Drew

Prime99 said...

I watched the game- you should be proud of your scrappy, wouldn't qualify for the playoffs today team. They rose to the occasion yesterday, at home, and still let the better team grab a point.

Grumpy said...

1. John Wooden
2. Adolph Rupp
3. Bob Knight
4. John Thompson
5. Dean Smith
6. Rollie Massimino
7. Jim Phelan
8. Lute Olson
9. Johnny Orr
10. Tates Locke

GMoney said...

I just fail to see how you aren't getting this. Give these guy the same exact rosters and who wins. Thad isn't beating any of these guys. FACT (I guess) because he's too busy spazzing out on the sideline and lacking acceptable composure.

If Bad Matta is so great then describe his offense this season. Thought so. Goodnight.

Sure you can make a list based on your own criteria, but you can't ignore key components of being successful in that position.

Just did. And yes I can. YES WE CAN--Obummer

Anonymous said...

Prime....no shame in losing to the Grand Rapids Griffins.

LOLZ @ G$ using a four game sample as to overrule over a decade of head coaching.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I stopped at ten. Maybe I would have Bad Matta at #11. I don't know. I'm the type of guy who only focuses on the ELITE which, at x's and o's, he is not. FACT.

Mr. Ace said...

MSFL payment packages will be in the mail tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

First off, the tourny weighs so much more than regular season and conference record/wins IMO.

I def don't think Jay Wright belongs on this list.

I would put Fisher on here before Beilein. Both would be on my list to 15 for sure.

Fag Matta should be on here. Dude
needs to win a title though to be ELITE.

Question: if this is a list that includes how good of a recruiter the coach is, is Cal then in your top 3?

When was this an all-time list? I thought it was today's coaches? Grumpy is by far the worst.

I would put Izzo at 2 and definitely have Billy Donovan in my top 4. Super underrated coach (who learned everything he knows from Pitino).

No one comes close to Pitino. Dude is a REALLY REALLY good college coach.

Seal

GMoney said...

Ape, don't forget that your champion also won the playoffs contest because he bet on himself to cover every week.

I'm surprised that no one has questioned Shaka yet. You only second-guess whitey, ya bunch of reverse racists.

Randall Stevens said...

"I'm the type of guy who only focuses on the ELITE"

Coming from a guy who considers Eli Manning better than Peyton Manning. Yeah...you focus on the ELITE alright.

I didn't question Shaka Smart because I thought you were making a joke by putting him on there.

GMoney said...

BREAKING NEWS:

Browns hire Mike Pettine as their new coach but his plane is delayed which is soooooo Browns. Good hire by the Stooges IMO.

No Steve Mason tonight. Fucking dodger. Flyers are starting noted black goalie, Ray Emery, instead. COWARDS!!!

GMoney said...

I teased it last week and now I can confirm...The BRAHs return tomorrow!!!

Prime99 said...

I wanted the Browns to be Schiano Men so bad. Oh well...

Anonymous said...

Captain & Tenille to split after 39 years of marriage. Sad day for music & Cubs fans everywhere.