|"He just didn't talk Jesse Palmer Announcing."--Stanford Football|
Look, BRAH, you are a top 3 pick in the NFL Draft this year and quite possibly #1 overall. I don’t care how much you love Eugene fucking Oregon, you leave it immediately. Look at everyone’s favorite bro, Big Ben, and see that you can get a diploma whenever the fuck you want. You are a running QB with a great arm but you take a lot of hits. Start getting paid cash money to take those hits. M-Double, you would either be going to Houston or St. Louis and I’m sure you could still get plenty of quality trim there compared to the unshaven fembots in Oregon. In conclusion, you are ready yet decided to take the same path as Matt Leinart (the chillest bro!) and Mark Barkley (the gayest boner lover). YOU ARE DUMB. Only a fucktard plays hard-to-get with the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. If they want you, you give it to them like Jameis, SON!
And this goes for everyone who is pondering this same decision. GO. You always go. Never look back until it’s all over and then finish your education. Get the fuck out. It’s cute that you want to stick around and accomplish some sort of team goals at Football University but that is dumb. Why? Because a decision like that puts the institution above yourself and the institution doesn’t give a shit about you. I get that you love your teammates and coaches but they aren’t going to put food on the table for your 15 illegitimate children or mother that can’t keep the heat on western PA. Which leads me to my big point today which is relevant since we’re waiting on his final decision:
Braxton Miller should turn pro.
Is he ready? Nope. But who is? You can’t tell me that he wouldn’t be starting for the Jets or the Texans or the Rams or the Jaguars right now. He might not be great, but he’s better than what those teams have. I know that great Ohio fan bros such as myself will say “that is so dumb FO REAL” but they are only thinking of themselves and not what is best for the player. It's not about that. It is about assessing the competition and maximizing on your odds. Let me throw out an analogy to illustrate my point:
You are Braxton (sorry, Ide). You are at Dut’s house for one of his bi-weekly poker nights that have been held once in the last four years. You look around the table and, WOW, it’s Teddy KGBridgewater, Derek Carr, Johnny Football, AJ McCarron, Tajh Boyd, Aaron Murray, Mariota, Mettenberger, and Bryce Petty. This is a loaded and intimidating table. I can understand why you would be nervous. You just keep folding. Then you notice that things are taking shape around you. Mariota and Petty left to go 69. Murray and Mettenberger just busted. No one knows where the fuck Brett Hundley is. Teddy has a huge stack and Carr is just as healthy but you are already aware that third place is your ceiling. You’re just as good if not better than Manziel, McCarron, and Boyd. Who the fuck are they? In your mind, the odds are now in your favor because you KNOW that you are more talented with a better skill set. It’s time to isolate those three and knock them out (at the combine OBVZ).
And that is the point. So many quality guys are either being dumb and going back or can’t walk. QBs always go higher than they probably should in the NFL Draft. If you rock the combine, there is no reason to think that Miller can’t be a second day pick and the third or FOURF taken. Honestly, what the fuck can you improve on with one more year at college anyway? It’s not like your head coach is going to work on your pro skill set. His job is to win games; not prepare you for the NFL. Do you know who is going to make you an NFL QB (if you have it in you)? An NFL coach. Go back to school for one more year behind 4 new OL, average receivers, and RBs that aren’t nearly as good as the one that is gone and what is your ceiling? Third or FOURF QB taken and a 2nd day pick. So make the leap of faith and go.
Let’s be honest here and I know this from current events: QBs that run take a lot of unnecessary hits. It is better to get paid to take those hits on Sunday then to take those hits a day earlier and then go study for AIDS Awareness class. The odds are in Miller’s favor now and they won’t be that way next year with a likely loaded QB class. I know that today’s message isn’t going to be popular and I’m OK with that. Guys that are ready for the pros who don’t jump at the chance are idiots. Marcus Mariota is making a huge mistake (it’s not like he is going to play for a title anyway considering he can’t beat Stanford Football) and someone is going to take advantage of that lapse in judgment. It might as well be the two time Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year.
I’m G$ and I approve this message.