Wednesday, December 11, 2013

You've Done Enough Now Go

"He just didn't talk Jesse Palmer Announcing."--Stanford Football
Last week, Oregon QB Marcus Mariota announced that he was going to return to school for a fourth year as he wants to earn his degree. That is a very noble and mature stance to take as most people in his position would have sprinted to the guaranteed money awaiting them in the NFL. I feel like every year about this time I write the same post and this year will be no different. Many claim that Mariota is being mature and honorable. I correctly say that his decision was foolish and actually immature. Allow me to explain in a douchey bro way.

Look, BRAH, you are a top 3 pick in the NFL Draft this year and quite possibly #1 overall. I don’t care how much you love Eugene fucking Oregon, you leave it immediately. Look at everyone’s favorite bro, Big Ben, and see that you can get a diploma whenever the fuck you want. You are a running QB with a great arm but you take a lot of hits. Start getting paid cash money to take those hits. M-Double, you would either be going to Houston or St. Louis and I’m sure you could still get plenty of quality trim there compared to the unshaven fembots in Oregon. In conclusion, you are ready yet decided to take the same path as Matt Leinart (the chillest bro!) and Mark Barkley (the gayest boner lover). YOU ARE DUMB. Only a fucktard plays hard-to-get with the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. If they want you, you give it to them like Jameis, SON!

And this goes for everyone who is pondering this same decision. GO. You always go. Never look back until it’s all over and then finish your education. Get the fuck out. It’s cute that you want to stick around and accomplish some sort of team goals at Football University but that is dumb. Why? Because a decision like that puts the institution above yourself and the institution doesn’t give a shit about you. I get that you love your teammates and coaches but they aren’t going to put food on the table for your 15 illegitimate children or mother that can’t keep the heat on western PA. Which leads me to my big point today which is relevant since we’re waiting on his final decision:

Braxton Miller should turn pro.

Is he ready? Nope. But who is? You can’t tell me that he wouldn’t be starting for the Jets or the Texans or the Rams or the Jaguars right now. He might not be great, but he’s better than what those teams have. I know that great Ohio fan bros such as myself will say “that is so dumb FO REAL” but they are only thinking of themselves and not what is best for the player. It's not about that.  It is about assessing the competition and maximizing on your odds.  Let me throw out an analogy to illustrate my point:

You are Braxton (sorry, Ide). You are at Dut’s house for one of his bi-weekly poker nights that have been held once in the last four years. You look around the table and, WOW, it’s Teddy KGBridgewater, Derek Carr, Johnny Football, AJ McCarron, Tajh Boyd, Aaron Murray, Mariota, Mettenberger, and Bryce Petty. This is a loaded and intimidating table. I can understand why you would be nervous. You just keep folding. Then you notice that things are taking shape around you. Mariota and Petty left to go 69. Murray and Mettenberger just busted. No one knows where the fuck Brett Hundley is. Teddy has a huge stack and Carr is just as healthy but you are already aware that third place is your ceiling. You’re just as good if not better than Manziel, McCarron, and Boyd. Who the fuck are they? In your mind, the odds are now in your favor because you KNOW that you are more talented with a better skill set. It’s time to isolate those three and knock them out (at the combine OBVZ).

And that is the point. So many quality guys are either being dumb and going back or can’t walk. QBs always go higher than they probably should in the NFL Draft. If you rock the combine, there is no reason to think that Miller can’t be a second day pick and the third or FOURF taken. Honestly, what the fuck can you improve on with one more year at college anyway? It’s not like your head coach is going to work on your pro skill set. His job is to win games; not prepare you for the NFL. Do you know who is going to make you an NFL QB (if you have it in you)? An NFL coach. Go back to school for one more year behind 4 new OL, average receivers, and RBs that aren’t nearly as good as the one that is gone and what is your ceiling? Third or FOURF QB taken and a 2nd day pick. So make the leap of faith and go.

Let’s be honest here and I know this from current events: QBs that run take a lot of unnecessary hits. It is better to get paid to take those hits on Sunday then to take those hits a day earlier and then go study for AIDS Awareness class. The odds are in Miller’s favor now and they won’t be that way next year with a likely loaded QB class. I know that today’s message isn’t going to be popular and I’m OK with that. Guys that are ready for the pros who don’t jump at the chance are idiots. Marcus Mariota is making a huge mistake (it’s not like he is going to play for a title anyway considering he can’t beat Stanford Football) and someone is going to take advantage of that lapse in judgment. It might as well be the two time Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year.

I’m G$ and I approve this message. 


Anonymous said...

While I agree with your message of get paid NOW idiot, I do not agree with your assessment of Miller. You're right that he isn't ready...but with so many QBs in this draft that are more ready than he is, I just don't see an NFL team using a draft pick on a guy who is essentially a project.

I might actually agree with Mariota's decision to go back. I don't think he is considered to be the number one overall pick. I haven't seen that since his collapse against Stanford. Going back could fuck him...but he could also be a genius. I haven't seen what these last couple Oregon losses have done to his draft stock...but I imagine it can't be good. He's taking a risk by coming back and giving up possibly being taken in the first round. But he's also giving himself a chance to erase any doubt that has crept into NFL teams minds about the QB he could potentially be in the pros. He could bomb next year and drop. Or he could kick shit and be the number one overall. It's a risk..but I think it's one he had to take.

Anonymous said...

Sorry...that should say HIGH draft pick on a project.

MuDawgfan said...

Prior to the 2013 draft, I never saw him projected higher than the 2nd round - but I'm willing to bet Murray wished he left UGA last year. How could he not?

Brax should probably go too.

On a related note, would it be just peachy if Guiton was drafted higher than Brax?

Jeff said...

Oh the irony of MuDawgfan using the word "peachy".

And do please tell us how in the hell Pat Narduzzi won assistant of the year.

GMoney said...

Mel and McShay both had Mariota in their top 3 when he decided to go back. He could have been the #1 pick this year. He will not be next year (Jameis).

His main reason was wanting a degree and that is a STUPID reason for not going to pro.

With Miller, I just don't see this huge number of QBs that are more ready than he is. I see some guys like Manziel and Boyd at the same level of talents vs. questions. Mariota, Petty, and healthy Metts and Murray would all go ahead of him (likely). Now they won't. It's basic economics--the demand is always great and this year's supply keeps shrinking. I think he has to make the jump.

Anonymous said...

ELITE story incoming.


Mr. Ace said...

If you're projected to go in the top 3 rounds, you go. Top picks don't get those YUGE contracts anymore in the slotted system. I don't think going back has nearly the upside that it did in years past.

Mariota's draft stock definitely slipped, but he was still a Top 10-15 guy. And with his measurables he would probably kill it at the combine. He should totes go.

I feel basically the same about Braxton. Whatever team drafts Braxton isn't going to draft him to be the starter right away. And that won't change after one year of college in his current offense. He won't be a 1st round pick next year. I doubt he can build himself in to a 2nd round pick. If what he needs to do is develop into a better QB, there is no better place to do it than the NFL. I don't know if he can ever be a #1 guy. I imagine his future will look a lot like Brad Smith.

But there is less incentive, at least as far as NFL career, to go back to school now.

Anonymous said...

The only reason to ever stay is for one more shot at a National Championship. The next level = $$, more fame, and more pussy. And as you said, you can get your degree at anytime. Anyone who doesnt use the "I want one more shot at a title" excuse when staying is a fucking idiot.


Mr. Ace said...

Bridgewater, Bortles, Carr, Hundley, Manziel, and Hundley all are likely to go in the 1st round/top of 2nd.

G$, I think you are still wearing your Fuckeye colored glasses. Braxton is not anywhere near Manziel, Boyd, Petty or Mett.

There will be 10 QB's off the board before Braxton's name gets called...I still think he should go.

Nate said...

Braxton's case is a special one.

I think his main reason for staying shouldn't be improving his draft status (he's probably as high now as he ever will be).

I think the main factor for staying would probably be to win a Heisman.

I read somewhere that the value of winning the Heisman trophy in your last year of college can range anywhere from $1,000,000 to $2,000,000 in the first two years following receipt of the award. When you consider the endorsements, memorabilia events, etc., it makes sense.

Following the first few years, you've also opened yourself up to an exclusive set of opportunities not available to others. Many people don't realize that Archie Griffin's highest paying job isn't as Assistant Athletic Director at OSU. It's actually as a member of the Board at Abercrombie & Fitch.

Can anybody take a guess as to how he landed that position? Hint: had nothing to do with his strategic communications degree as an undergrad.

Mr. Ace said...

Nate, because he is black?

Coming back for the Heisman seems like a pretty dumb thing to do when Jameis is coming back...but could be understandable.

Jeff said...

Braxton vs. Boyd Orange Bowl showdown will be very telling. Having watched a lot of both, I think Braxton is better. He's faster, taller, and has a stronger arm. Boyd has always benefited from having ELITE playmakers at the WR postion (Deandre Hopkins, Sammy Watkins, and Martavis Bryant) and is not as mobile as everyone makes him out to be. He aint out running any DEs in the NFL. I'm also bitter that Boyd could never beat Souf Cackalaky.

GMoney said...

Brett Hundley is getting drafted twice? I hear that he is still 50/50 on what he will do so I'm not factoring him in yet. But he SHOULD leave.

Here's the thing with Miller: He isn't going to get more NFL ready at Ohio. Urban doesn't give a fuck about getting someone ready for the next level. If he did then he would have taught Tenor how to throw a forward pass that didn't land in the 7th row. So if your goal is to play in the NFL (and it should be for all of these guys except for Commenter Daniel) then go.

I will give you Teddy KGB, Carr (how great would it be if Houston drafted him!), and McCarron as better pro prospects but no one else as a LOCK. Manziel still has HUGE character flaws. Tajh Boyd is 3 feet tall. LOL Blake Bortles. Mettenberger can't walk and is a rapist. Bryce Petty is going back so why even bring him up.


GMoney said...

There you go: Pro Scout Jeff has Braxton way ahead of Boyd in his pre-combine rankings.

Mr. Ace said...


Nate said...

I have a feeling this won't be the last time RG3 gets fucked in the ass.

Jeff said...

Somewhere Iceman is singing the Sparty fight song.

GMoney said...

We're a well-run franchise. Come on, Kirk, tear it up and get us a first round pick back. Or more likely a couple of sevens!

Anonymous said...

Breaking news: Cousins to start over RGIII this Sunday. What a laughing stock that team has turned out to be. I wonder what they'll do with that #2 pick. Didn't someone predict that the redskins would be going to the super bowl?


Anonymous said...

It's because he was black.

So last night, I went to a Christmas party for some other firm. They rented out a really nice club downtown near my house, so there was zero reason to not go. If anything, I just went foe the contacts.

Through various means of networking, being awesome, and most likely the state I was in after about 5 scotches, I found myself in the VIP area. This doesn't mean much to me because the place is rented out, and no outsiders were allowed in. Except, apparently, for the Brooklyn Nets.

So, I'm up there with Paul Pierce, Deron Williams, and some backup that I didn't care about learning his name. And some escorts. Or whores. Probably whores. And for some reason I turned into a super troll for literally zero reason.

This excitable Jew comes up to me and asks if I knew who they were. After I confirmed that I did, he asks me what Williams name is. I told him Deron. Deron as in Darren or Daron as in Duhron, to which I replied with the latter.

"Hey Duhron can I geta picture?

"Sure, and it's Darren."

When he told me that, I responded with, "eh, he's black, it could have shaken out any number of ways."

Paul Pierce has hilarious bitch tits. I couldn't stop staring at them. He wore this super tight shirt with stars all over it. I wish you could have seen this faggot. Hilarious! However, he is a super nice guy. He bumped into me by mistake, with literally no foul (pun!) caused, and proceeded to apologize and get me a (already free) drink. Chatted for a bit then went back. I liked that guy. Funny tits, though.

Deron kept ordering shots. Tons of them, always tequila. Not surprisingly, Pierce was a Hennessy on the rocks kinda guy. It was very displeasing, but I didn't want to look like a bitch, so I did them. Finally, when he cheers on our third shot, I toast the Buckeyes, then wink at him.

"They ruined our perfect season, fuck you. And fuck your football team."

I laughed and high fived him, because I am the worst at this point. Around 1am the party shuts down and Pierce points to me and invites me to WIP (notable from famed blacks Drake and Chris Brown (woman beater!) getting into that bottle fight and cutting Tony Parkers eye). It's a Tuesday and I have (had, I certainly didn't go) work the next day, but fuck it, lets go.

On my way out, I pick up my jacket from coat check and bump into one of the escorts (whores) which elicits a pretty rude response, even after I apologized. I simply responded with, "someone paid for you to be here." I walked out while that backup laughed at that girl, who I assumed he paid for.

I was going to meet up with my new found black bro's, but thought it was better to go grab a couple slices then pass out at home.

Pierces tits still make me lolz.


Mr. Ace said...

Wait wait wait. Ide gets invited to some club by NBA superstars, which basically gives him permission to be as Idey as Ide can be, and backs out? They left you. You went out the door and they drove off. Fantastic night nonetheless. But they left you.

Remember you heard this here first; Shanahan really likes Cousins. Shanahan also wants to be Texans head coach. Shanahan wants to see what Cousins looks like in a game and then will go out in get him once he becomes the Texans coach. Boom.

Prime99 said...

Pretty crazy story from a Nazi that steals Jews' teeth.

Braxton Miller doesn't play Stanford football, so he will not be good in the pros.

Anonymous said...

Oh, of course they did, but it was never implied that I left with them (the club in question was like 5 blocks away, and the ROLLED DEEP IN BENZES). The backup didn't go with them either, haha.


Anonymous said...

I think Braxton should come back for two reasons....

1.) I do think he could be a 2nd round pick next year.

2.) I would like to watch him be a Buckeye for another year.

It does seem like Mariota should have gone. I guess if he wins the Heisman then Phil Knight would probably throw him some cray cray Nike money and it could make up for it.

Ide was after NBA cock just like the whores.


GMoney said...

Prime makes solid points. Ape also makes a great point. Larry likes to break news that everyone is already talking about.

I guess the positive from this is that at least RG3 will have an entire offseason of being healthy and wanting to prove his asshole ex-coach wrong.

If you have a coach that would rather trade for Cousins than draft KGB, then never ever hire that coach.

Good to see Ide back to telling his lies. Have you had dinner with Ben Stiller and Harvey Weinstein to discuss you as the next Batman yet, you faggot?

Just admit that Paul Pierce stabbed you with his cock.

GMoney said...

At least Drooler is honest: he doesn't care about #5, only himself.

Grumpy said...

And the excitable guy being a Jew has exactly what to do with this story?

GMoney said...

Relax, Uncle Leo. No need to start a holy war.

Prime99 said...

Grumpy about to call Ide out. SPOILER ALERT:

Ide is racist.

Mr. Ace said...

Ide could probably see his horns. Nothing personal.

Two scenarios:
1. You draft Tkgb and whoever the best 2nd round OL/DE is(I have seen James Hurst UNC OT projected at that spot).

2. You draft Clowney/Barr and Hurst in first two round and trade a 3rd and 5th for Cousins(Which I don't think Cousins will be worth, but maybe he will ball out the next few weeks)

I will take Option 2 all day. I don't think Teddy is a lock in any way.

Anonymous said...

I haven't heard the name James Hurst since he was a 17 yr old recruit that was almost a Buckeye. Interesting to know that he turned out real good. Good for him I guess....bad for him that he toiled away playing football in Chapel Hill.

"Good to see Ide back to telling his lies. Have you had dinner with Ben Stiller and Harvey Weinstein to discuss you as the next Batman yet, you faggot?" -- LOLZZZZZZ


Nate said...

I like Racist Ide more than Make Believe Ide.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone think that there is a chance that Saban is actually gonna go to Texas? The only advantage I could see is that Austin is a shit load better place to live than Tuscaloosa...but, he probably lives in his office so I'm not sure that's a big advantage except for the wife. I guess a "new challenge" could be used as another reason.


Anonymous said...

Supposedly Alabama offered Saban an extension and a large pay raise last Friday in light of the Texas rumors. Saban has yet to accept the extension.

I don't think its about the money for Saban. It doesn't even seem like he enjoys his job all that much. I think it is just about the challenge of taking on a struggling program and turning it into a powerhouse. There are corporate types of make a living off this as well. I think Saban is the same type of person.

Mr. Ace said...

Shut up LS.

Brady said...

Braxton isn't going anywhere. He can elevate his status a TON if he comes back and has a career year at OSU. That will be worth millions more than leaving now and going in the second/third round.

Nate said...

Jimmy Sexton is the only one winning in all of this.

It's amazing that his top notch clients are also all rumored for the Texas job:

Hugh Freese
Nick Saban
Gus Malzahn

The man is a genius.

GMoney said...

Saban hates life. It's hard to predict any move for a man who hates everything. He has more hate in his black heart than Ide.

Hate to break it to you, Cakes, but Miller is never going to be a first round pick no matter what he does. He also isn't going to get the coaching to make him a more attractive pro (nor should he to be fair). He is only going to rack up wins and stats with the same non-NFL-friendly style that he currently plays in. Can you even read? Because it seems like you just saw "Miller NFL" and fired off one of your usual idiotic remarks.

Based on the FACTS and setting aside "our" homer-tastic tendencies, shouldn't he leave?

GMoney said...

For anyone who watches SoA, how awful is it that the two worst characters on the show (Juice and Gemma) got to do the most damage? Fuck that. Those two deserve to die. Fuck Unser's chatty cathy ass, too.

Anonymous said...

Ohy vey, sorry Grump, let me expand on the excitable jew. I meant to do that.

His name is Joey who is in his late 30s. Why he wants to go by Joey is beyond me. But he was full on jew. Large beard, hasidic locks, yarmulke, and a penchant for whiskey. He was also delightfully chauvinistic.

I was talking with one of his coworkers when he shows up with 2 girls that he works with, not over mind you but along side. He then tells one to get a drink and the other to go meet a guy in the bathroom to talk (the bathroom share a plush lounge with sinks) business. They oblige, and he diappears.

He reappears an hour later with a scarf that he stole from some girl and starts coralling women with it. He then orders his coworker to get us into vip, which is how I got up there. After the pic with Deron he leaves and somehow manages to come back and say hi.

Five minutes later he comes up says goodbye before he is escorted off the premises for grabbing a non whores tit, apparently. It was great. Joey was a real mensch.


Grumpy said...

I shouldn't be so sensitive. I know what I'm getting into each day by coming here. Just hit me the wrong way at the time.

GMoney said...

Yeah, Grump, this is a daily war zone. It's best to expect and accept casualties. As we all know, Ide is an equal opportunity hater.

Speaking of that douche, you going to MSG tomorrow with Paul Pierce?

Mr. Ace said...

Sambo gets dropped on the reg here but call somebody an "excitable jew" and shit gets real. The Money Shot stands only for equality amongst its prejudices.

Reading some of the quotes from the RG3 presser is riveting stuff. What a cornball.

GMoney said...

Wouldn't you be confused if you got replaced because your blockers are god awful and the play-calling stinks?

Granted, he is not blameless here, but "we don't want him to get hurt" is the pussiest thing I've ever heard as an excuse for a perfectly healthy sambo.

Anonymous said...

I will only go to that hellscape known as MSG for OSU next week and hopefully a meaningful CBJ game.


Anonymous said...

" He bumped into me by mistake, with literally no foul (pun!) caused, and proceeded to apologize and get me a (already free) drink"

I would have flopped like someone shot me in the spine and asked someone to bring out a wheelchair. Then 4 minutes later would have come back into the bar skipping circles around him.

"Good to see Ide back to telling his lies"

My first thought as well. Entertaining lies, nonetheless. People are going to start needing photographic proof to verify this stuff you're saying is actually happening for real.

Anonymous said...

I dont take pics with affletes/celebs. Its creepy and stupid.