2006 - Colt Brennan
2007 - Tim Tebow
2008 - Tim Tebow
2009 - Toby Gerhart
2010 - Cam Newton
2012 - Manti Te’o
You may notice at some point that I never consistently stick with calling it The Wiseman or The Weisman. That is intentional because old D-Dubs was that forgettable. The spelling of the award has very little to do with the importance so GIVE IT A REST. Anyway, carrying on...
The Heisman voters tend to not give the award to the best player (how Mark Ingram beat out Toby Gerhart, I will never understand). But the Weisman does. After Matt Barkley decided to keep sucking boners in LA over being OVERRATED for the Browns, he was stripped of his Weisman two years ago in favor of someone truly ELITE. We crushed it three years ago with Cammy Cam Cam. We correctly awarded Tebow back-to-back since Navajo Sam shit the bed in his biggest game in 2008. And we ignored Troy Smiff because Colt was an unstoppable force on the football and rape field in 2006. And who could forget the impressive power play by Te’o? Doing the Weisman justice for getting embarrassed mere days after reaching the pinnacle of his life!
We don't look entirely at numbers or wins and losses or schedules, we vote with our eyes. Who is kicking the most ass EVERY WEEK. You can't mail-in games against lesser opponents. You curb-stomp those fags just as hard as you would for your rival. This is why Tebow lost out on a 3rd straight Weisman unfortunately. This is why Terrelle Pryor was never considered (he didn't bring the thunder every week like he should have). Basically, I like to award the Weisman to the player that I will remember the most when I think back about the season. It's time to embrace the best of the best and crown the 2013 Weisman Award winner.
Those who are acknowledged but were ultimately not invited:
AJ McCarron – I don’t respect this guy’s on-field talents nearly as much as I probably should but if you bang Katherine Webb, you’re alright by me.
Jerry Kill – For as weird as this guy looks and as horrible as the inside of his body is, the guy is a really good coach and proved it this year. #KILLSTRONG!
Khalil Mack – I have seen him getting mocked as high as pick #8 in this coming NFL Draft and that is really fucking good for someone who plays at Buffalo. We all got a good taste of his greatness on Opening Day when he was the best player on the field at The Shoe and that is not up for debate. He was just as great all season long. You should have seen what he did to the RedHawks. Oh man!
Andre Williams – Fun FACT: I didn’t watch one minute of Boston College football this year so I’m basing this solely on highlights. Their athletic director is a real piece of shit though.
Tre Mason – I just couldn’t do it because he came on so late in the year. I consulted by WAC RB chart (Wins Above Cakes) and he didn’t fair too well. The dude is awesome in the Auburn system but he wasn’t awesome all year. Just as a reminder, Cakes’ RB Rankings are fucking stupid.
Carlos Hyde and Braxton Miller – It’s hard to dominate every week when you don’t play every week. Like I would invite either of these two future garbage men anyway.
Myles Jack – As a man who respects the great game of football, my wee-wee got rock hard when it found out that some kid was playing RB AND LB for UCLA this season. I have no idea if this is true, but I heard that Jack was going to be named the offensive and defensive freshman of the year in the Pac-12. ELITE.
Jordan Lynch – I’ll invite you to the ceremony for the second year in a row, MAC Tenor, but I won’t forget that stinkbomb you laid in the championship game that cost the conference a TON of money.
|Find that dog. I want to make him my Executive Vice President.|
Johnny Football Manziel – He doesn’t really deserve to be here either but someone has to bring the whores and hard drugs to the after-show party.
Stanford Football – I love this in-site meme of ours. It’s better than “FUCK YOU CAKES” and “GIVE IT A REST” in my opinion. You have to respect a style of football that has never lost and never will.
The 2013 Winner of The Money Shot’s Weisman Award is…
|Should I rape Wendy Peffercorn?|
Let’s give a big hand to our 2013 Wiseman Award winner, Mr. Jameis Winston! Enjoy your “Grumpy”! Can he challenge the legendary Timothy Richard Tebow as a repeat winner next year? Will he fall victim to some bizarre scandal next week? Will he say in his Heisman acceptance speech tomorrow, “where all the white women at”? Who knows, but that is another year in the books for the Weisman Award: the most coveted trophy in sports.
Before I get out of here for the weekend, a few quick reminders: Don’t forget to DVR the documentary on Clarett and Tress tomorrow night. I’m guessing that it is a comedy. Fuck Lange and Burke/Ide. Next Friday we will host The Commies featuring the illustrious Commenter of the Year Award. I asked Iceman for his input and, needless to say, this year’s winner will not be unanimous. Peace BRAHS!