|HUSSEIN AIN'T TAKIN' MAH GUNZZZZZZZ!!!|
GOOD: My nephews are finally into pro wrestling which is where I can excel.
BAD: They root for shitheads. That must change. Rey Mysterio sucks, bro.
GOOD: No one accused me of being a pedophile! HUGE!
GOOD: I'm turning into a pretty ELITE uncle.
BAD: I'm also a huge bitch. Take for example this conversation with my oldest nephew who is somewhere between 8 and 14 years old.
Him - I'm getting a rifle soon and I have a hunting knife and I really want a machete.
Me - Oh yeah? I just got an Allen wrench! (which is true!)
GOOD: My brother in law smoked an 18 pound ham and it was incredible.
BAD: WHY DO PEOPLE SERVE DEVILED EGGS EVER!!!
BAD: I feel fat as fuck. I need to get my ass back in the gym for very long hours.
GOOD: I saw Hellraiser twice.
BAD: Both times were at church.
GOOD: Right under the gun, I finally got to watch A Christmas Story AKA THEEE best Christmas movie. People who call Die Hard a Christmas movie are TARDS. That's like calling Rocky a romantic comedy.
GOOD: I got a lot of meat to fill my new deep freezer (and another gift card from Omaha steaks).
BAD: When it's presents time at the in-laws, I pretty much just get things that my wife asked for and it falls under my jurisdiction. Like a hose this year. Did not ask for that. I did ask for hos; they need to read my list better.
GOOD: The end of year highlight packages on ESPN.
BAD: The NBA on Christmas Day. I just can't get into it. It's still football season to me. And what the fuck were those guys wearing? I watched some of the Lakers/Heat game but I couldn't get into it. I only like god awful basketball.
BAD: Mark May and Dr. Lou commentating the Hawaii Bowl! Who are the ad wizards that came up with that one? It's a good thing I was on my third Christmas Ale when I turned that game on.
I'd love to have you losers do some GOOD and BAD experiences of your own if you have the time. For the last three years, I have asked my mom to get me some t-shirts that are cheap but have a team logo of some sort on them or something. She has fucked this up three years in a row. This year she got me some weirdo shirt that says something like "It's not my fault that I'm this awesome" which is true but SO STUPID. At least she made up for it with the complete Game of Thrones book series. That should take me a solid three years.
In conclusion, I just want to say that Jay-Z is a fucking awful rapper (heard some of his work on XM over the holdays). Yeah, I said it. His portion of all of his songs BLOW. That dude that sings on Holy Grail and Alicia Keys and the incredible Rihanna MAKE him. Rihanna rules (her portion on Eminem's Monster is terrific). Maybe it's my west coast rap bias, but I just don't understand why HOVA or whatever he calls himself is popular. His shit sucks. He's a great boss but when you ask him to actually work, bad stuff happens. Plus, he is a poopy agent. Let's share some CHRISTmas fun! Money Shot Man of the Year is tomorrow.