Monday, November 25, 2013

The Worst of Week Twelve Vol.VII

On Wednesday of this week, it will mark the six year anniversary of Sean Taylor's death.  It still pisses me off that this happened at all and probably always will (as it should).  But what makes me the most mad bro is that 2 of the four Olive Garden cooks who murdered one of the best players in the league at the time are still awaiting trial.  WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?  Fry those browns already.  YES THEY DESERVE TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!!  But it does give me the excuse to post the gif of the greatest play in Pro Bowl history.  You don't run fake punts on 21, BRAH.  RIP 21.

Before we get to the Worst Of the week, a little site news: we'll be dark on Thursday and Friday this week as we spend our Thanksgiving with Terrelle Pryor (he better play to justify why the fucking Raiders are on).  Tomorrow will be business as usual with Iceman talking college ball and explaining that Baylor only lost because they didn't play Baylor Football.  WE WILL NOT BE TALKING ABOUT "THE GAME" TOMORROW.  Wednesday, however, we will as I have enlisted the services of JSaul and BradyCakes to explain why they hate the other team.  That should be fun as long as they actually do some writin'.  Gambling picks will also be tacked on Wednesday.  God bless.  Now let's talk about shitty players from yesterday...

The Last Man Standing - Well, well, well...after being benched twice and replaced with awful arms, Brandon Weeden is the cheese that stands alone.  Jason Campbell was killed twice yesterday and now your favorite punching bag remains to lob interceptions and rack up garbage time yards.  You deserve it.  I'm glad that Cakes got to watch this in person.  He especially deserves that.  Are you still ahead of the Steelers?  No, you are not (although I didn't look it up so maybe that is wrong).  The world feels right again.

Fatty Fat Fat - LOLOLOLOL way to lose to The Schiano Men in your own building!  I guess I'm back to not knowing what the hell the Lions are.  I'll tell you, that tardbilly Mike Glennon looks like he might have a place in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE.  He's way better than I thought he would be.  It's pretty much a guarantee that he has fucked an animal though.

Calvin Johnson - Not holding onto that final ball is TOTES a Puff Daddy play.  I don't know if the Lions score from the 5 but I know that they would have had a better shot than what they got after bumping an easy pick to Team MRSA. 

Tie Games! - Donovan McNabb still probably doesn't understand that a game can end in a tie.  After Scott Tolzein got benched even after showing off his ELITE spin moves, Flynn-sanity re-emerged from out of nowhere and the Packers mustered a miraculous tie.  This was a really good game as these two teams are known for.  I'll say it because no one else does: I think that Christian Ponder is OK.  He isn't ELITE, but I don't think he's bad.  He can move around and has a pretty good arm and his wife is adorbs.  I'm on Team Ponder.  Thursday's Packers/Lions game is freaking huge.

That ELITE Chiefs Defense - I guess not, eh?  This was another incredible game that was highlighted by Philip Rivers miming sodomy on Andy Reid for some strange reason and some insane Rivers celebrations after that game-winning touchdown pass.  I'll tell you what, over-exuberant Rivers is the LOL that keeps on LOL-ing.

Marc Trestman - I hated the call to go for on it on 4th and a little longer than one when the Bears were down 10.  That was dumb as fuck.  People like to rip the NFC East for being bad AND IT IS but the NFC North is pretty shitty itself.  Hell, no team won yesterday and two of the teams played each other.

Kyle Long - You are the inferior Long Bro, bro!  That was cute when Kyle was playing dirty and Chris had to come out and tell him to quit being a homo.  By the way, Mama Long is not unattractive.  Well done, Howie, keep burying that Broken Arrow of yours.  ELITE Howie Long movie/assumed crooked penis reference.

Gary Kubiak - It's going to be great when Houston has no other choice but to fire this guy even though he had an on-field stroke (or whatever).  And if you lose a home game to the Jaguars, you deserve to be unemployed.  The Dolphins and Jets also lost but no one cares about them. Although my recommendation of Miami beating the line was fairly smart.

FRIENDSGIVING - The big reveal in the LFL chat yesterday was that Dut hosted whatever a Friendsgiving is last night.  This sounds so lame.  None of us were invited because he is a jerk and I assume that only sex offenders were given the green light (to eat turkey and fuck kids).  Dut is weird.

Victor Cruz - Well, the Giants fluke run is over.  It would be nice if salsa boy would actually do something.  I'm tired of seeing shitbags like Reuben Randle catch touchdowns even though he blows huge Les Miles cock.  The Cowboys are still bad.

Chuck Pagano - Yeeeeeeeesh, they need to stop falling behind by three scores before they wake up.  It seems like beating Peyton Manning was their Super Bowl and everything else is just going to be a mail-in.  It is pretty clear to me that Bruce Arians was the real mastermind behind CHUCKSTRONG.  Did you know that the Cardinals are 7-4?  I had no idea!  HONEY BADGAHHHHHHHH!!!

FANTASY! - I rectified my only MSFL loss by sticking it to politician LS.  I clinched a bye in the LFL for the millionth year in a row by kicking two fags for the price of one queer (Ide and Burke).  I may even win my other two league matchups this week as well but need some help.

That will do it for this week's installment.  Feel free to laugh at how bad the Redskins are tonight.  I'm sure that they will get BRAH'd out of their own building.  And if somehow they win (they won't), a guaranteed Jimmy BRAH blow up is nice to see.  But the only thing that matters now is Terrelle Pryor's health so that he can save Thanksgiving for all of us.


Grumpy said...


Anonymous said...

Hashtagging Bud Light commmercials... GET FUCKED.

Go AlfMo/Vernon Davis/faggot today.


Grumpy said...

Search #HereWeGo and see what the majority pertain to...GET FUCKED.

Jeff said...

The world is right again now that the Browns fans are back to being a bunch of miserable shitheads. You guys had a nice month or so of not being a door mat.As Lil Poopson would say, "You can't polish a turd!!!"

GMoney said...

We all have heard that stupid Here We Go "song". It is still gay even after you beat the Lions and Browns. I'm shocked that your bad team is in the playoff hunt though. SHOCKED.

From last night:
Wes Welker - Don't blame the black guy on that punt MUFF. That is ALL Welker. Nice homecoming. Way to drop multiple passes and do nothing.

Stevan Ridley - Ya Done.

Peyton Manning - Do you see now why I always call him a piece of shit? He can't throw the ball outdoors anymore. They are never going to win a Super Bowl if they have to go through the cold to get there. NEVER. Plus, Jack Del Rio sucks.

Nice 24 points choke though. That was LULZ.

Mr. Ace said...

FagFuckingNasty gets their first W in the MSFL. Suck dick Nate B. I curbstomped Prime and somehow beat Boz by scoring 73 points. Great week in FF.

I actually like the Skins tonight. Niners aren't playing well right now. RG3 has probably been sucking cock all week in the showers. Real leader, that guy.

NFC Norf BAD. Drew is pretty pumped about being in first place. Lions fans.

Are there any leftovers from Friendsgiving?

GMoney said...

Worst night: Richard Harrow. WTF? Getting got by an ape and missing the shot?

GMoney said...

Factory of Sadness 2 isn't as good as the original but I LOL'ed at the notion of the team buying Mike Holmgren three racks of ribs last night.

I firmly believe that Browns fans love being miserable. They were it like a badge of honor. Deep down, they are happy that they get to be pissed off all the time. If they weren't able to tell every fanbase that "you have no idea", they would be lost. Secretly, they don't want success. Think about it.

Anonymous said...

The Steelers D was my high score so far this week in fantasy. Didn't see that one...the Browns are great
-NC Nate

Nate said...

I have had the worst freaking luck in FF this year.

Josh Gordon decides to have a record breaking day as a Cleveland Browns WR during the week I play Fagnasty. No non-QB Brown has any business EVER scoring 35+ points in one game.

If Candy Lineup was a real team, I'd be going Ron English on these guys first thing Monday Morning.

Prime99 said...

My fantasy season is quickly going the way of the Bears with injuries and shitty play.

Andrew Big Ears on RedZone is hypersensitive to showing punts and highlight. Just because idiots don't understand that RedZone channel doesn't cause awesome plays by itself, doesn't mean you have to apologize to them.

Anonymous said...

Lions were horrendous yesterday...coming off a game they should have won, but lost the previous week as well. Disappointing, but hopefully we win this FRIENDSGIVING (LOLZ) to take a 2.5 game lead on the Fudge Packers. Still in first, I'm still happy as hell.

You said we can talk about college basketball whenever we want, right? LOLZ @ #WeON...Ape #YouOFF BRAH...would LOLZ if they are unranked today.


Mr. Ace said...

I figured that was coming. It's November. I'm not worried. We start 4 sophomores and a frosh PG, we are going to continue to get better as the year progresses. We will be ready in March.

I am worried about GR3, though. There was a lot of buzz during the offseason that he really stepped up his game and was creating his own shot. Haven't seen that yet this year. If he can't create on his own then he is pretty useless to us as an undersized 4. But again, November.

Anonymous said...

Remember when Iceman bet me on WeON last week? Hilarious.

Being a Browns fan is okay as long as I have OSU for happiness. Iceman with his triumvirate of shit teams has to drink paint thinner daily.


GMoney said...

It's WE WORK, dammit!

Miami basketball lost to D3 Wilmington OH on SAturday. We are the worst.

Sorry, bros, but someone else is going to have to lead The Walking Governor talk today. I've got to walk the dog.

Grumpy said...

Jimmy Haslam has to fork over $84.9 million to settle claims against his truck stops. Nice owner.

Anonymous said...

Your quarterback is a rapist. Nice team.


Anonymous said...

+1 Seal.

I didnt see Zombies but I did watch the ELITE finale of Boardwalk. So I will bow out of the comments today.

I just searched #herewego. God I almost wish you were hashtagging Bud Light ads. Haslam was part owner of the Steelers while he was swindling everyone.


Jeff said...

Browns fans do love their misery. They would be lost without it.

Jeff said...

Just needed to be repeated.

Nate said...

TWD is so much better with the Governor back.

-Governor kills off most of the alpha males in the new group (including Martinez) to consolidate power. I don't agree with reducing your manpower just to take control. It's the zombie apocalypse, you need every hand you can get (especially those willing to help you out after finding you trapped in a zombie pit).

-The previews indicate that the Governor wants this group to be his second wave of attack on the prison. I suppose killing off Martinez to avoid this group knowing what will happen to them if their raid on the prison doesn't work out makes sense.

-The governor's boner for having the prison to himself is strange. Why not start another Woodbury?

-Interested to see how this war plays out next week. Gov's troops seem much thinner this time around with less firepower.

Prime99 said...

The Guvnah is back to his old tricks. Killing Martinez with the trifecta of golf club to the head, roll him off of the RV, then feed him to the zombie pit was ELITE murdering.

Nothing like killing off the moral "leader" then recreating his dead aquarium in the lake with the dude's body.

Charlie from Fringe seemed way too OK with the murder of his nice guy bro.

They should be somewhat worried about murderous bandits that actually did kill that camp to steal their supplies.

I approve of the Gov getting one episode of redemption only to go even more evil. Should be interesting to get the two groups together.

The Iceman said...

God, I fucking hate Mondays...

Like Ace said...while the loss to Charlotte is a little unsettling, it is November and we did lose our 2 best players from last year. One of which being the national player of the year. They'll figure it out.

Saying Browns fans love being miserable is about the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. Seriously.

I would really like if somehow Vernon Davis and Pierre Garcon missed this game tonight for (insert reason here). If they play and play well then I'm pretty sure I DONE in the MSFL thanks to Stevan Ridley and his flacid dick fingers that can't grip a fucking football.

My favorite part of last night's game was when the Broncos put in 6'8" Brock Osweiler to try and block the game winning FG. For the record he didn't even get close. It was pretty LOL to watch.

The Iceman said...

Now...for TWD.

Really enjoyed that episode, for starters.

As Prime said...that dude took his brother getting straight up murdered pretty well. Oddly well, actually.

I like how the GUV has upgraded his zombie head fish tank to his zombie filled lake. I would put money on at least one person accidentally jumping in and getting unknowingly mauled.

How about the loud mouth, police acadamy drop out, wanna be cop being a straight up lesbo? Can't say I saw that one coming.

Martinez death was pretty gnarly. It was something that had to be done because Martinez would never have let GUV be the lone wolf again. Especially after seeing how GUV fell apart after Woodbury croaked.

I think at this point the GUV taking the prison is less about wanting the prison and more about getting revenge on the people that ruined what he had built. An eye for an eye...SUPER PUN!

Speaking of head dude was killing me with his "One eye Bry" jabs. I wonder if those will stop now that Phillip/Brian murdered his BRAH.

This Sunday should be a gas! There has to be some main characters getting offed in this upcoming battle royale.

Jeff said...

"They'll figure it out."

Figure what out? That they're not that good?

GMoney said...

Your owner is a crook.
Your QB is a rapist.
Your QB is Brandon Weeden. Browns fans lose again.

I stick by my story that the Browns prefer self-loathing. Just look at when you run off a good stretch. You don't even celebrate. You Randy Quaid it in ML2 with all "fuck this, it's just luck". Which is true, mind you, but you never take any joy in a victory which tells me that you secretly like the mounting loss pile. I'm a scientist of the mind!

GMoney said...

OK, my Dead thoughts:

*If there is one thing that I know about Alvarez from Oz/Mitch on this show it is that he will never die no matter what happens. I expect him to out-live everyone.

*Wait--were they brothers? Like, actual blood brothers? I think he shook off that death because he has to. Either you join with One Eye Bry or you One Eye Die. Easy decision. That Pete guy would have been a hilariously bad leader.

*Getting shit-faced during the apocalypse might be the worst possible thing that you could do. I bet that it lead to some really hot scissoring in a trailer though.

*Guv's bitch looks too much like an older sweet angel Maggie.

*Guv wants the prison because of revenge (killing Martinez brought back his thirst for blood) and this time he has a tank. A TANK! Business just picked up!

*That zombie mudpile roadblock was terrifying to me for some reason.

*So the zombies are decaying more and more as the series moves along (by design). How much longer until the majority die off? Maybe one or two more winters? Well...not necessarily die off but pretty much just become skeletons.

Good episode that sets up for a dynamite half season finale. CAN'T WAIT. Shit, the Skins play on Sunday night next week (WHY?).

The Iceman said...

"Figure what out? That they're not that good?"

How about how to play together after losing their two best players from last year. Funny...I remember people saying this team wasn't that good last year, too. Even after starting the season 16-0.

Anonymous said...

I would like to give a big "fuck you" to grumpy today. He really is the worst. At least assholes like Drew can say more than 3 words per day about their opinion - even if it is something I think is terrible. You sir are a member of the most white trash fan base in all of sports and knowingly cheer for a man who committed rape multiple times. On top of that, your sports trash talk today consisted of a hashtag. You sir, suck the biggest, floppiest dick of them all.


Jeff said...

Seal what do you want? Want me to remind you that Antonio Brown pwned ya boy Joe Haden or the fact that our shitty offensive line (Mike Adams played!!) pushed around your strong front seven or the fact that you will bitch about Weeden playing when in reality the game was 20-3 when Campbell left or that Gordon racked up most of his yards in garbage time against soft coverage? Is that what you want?

Were there not enough buckets of piss to pass around?

Mr. Ace said...

Boom Seal'd, Grump.

Michigan has the talent. You can't just plug in TreyBurkeSick's production with a freshman and Spike. I'm not too concerned about winning a conference title or anything, I think Sparty has that in the bag. Just keep on improving until March.

How is D Rose out for the year with a torn meniscus? What a cunt.

Zombies...great episode.

Guv just is who he is. A Killa

I almost would have rather had the entire first half season be dedicated to the Guv. His storyline >>> Prison.

Who the fuck are these banshees that can ransack that camp without making any noise and taking all the supplies in like 3 minutes? Those people are going to run shit.

Also, Tara has a great rack. Those should feature heavily.

Anonymous said...

Actually yes, at least you sound like you watched the game and know something about football because everything you said it true... rather than saying #ImWhiteTrash or #FatFansForRapersberger.


The Iceman said...

The reason we don't celebrate...well the intelligent ones that the history of this team has given us zero reason to even waste the energy. One playoff appearance since 1999, BRAH. Fifteen years, 20 starting QBs, multiple head coaches and GMs later...why the fuck should we get excited about a 3 game winning streak in October when we all know this team will pick in the top 10 yet again in April?

Grumpy said...

Seal, you, Ide and Iceman can only fall back on "your QB's a rapist". If that's your best shot, none of you are very bright. Show me where our QB was ever arrested,ever charged, ever arraigned, ever tried or ever convicted and I'll agree with you.

Since you can't do any of the above, FUCK YOU!

I try to keep my comments brief to assist simpletons like you with comprehension.

GMoney said...

But at least Joe Haden shut down Megatron! That argument is why you lose all arguments, Sealbert.

Iceman, you seem like the kind of fella that, should the Browns ever win the Norf (I would say Super Bowl but LOL!) your first reaction would be "TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH". In other words, you are too detached. There is too much hate in your fan-heart.

Anonymous said...

Good point, G$. That's why I just SMH that Ape thinks that I should be somehow upset that the Lions are losing while in 1st place. The Lions have won ONE playoff game in my life. It's one of the worst organizations in the history of sports. We were also picked to finish 3rd or 4th by everyone going to the season. So, of course I'm still gonna be happy as hell that they are in 1st place and control their own destiny at this point in the NFL season. I've seen too much shittiness to be mad...just happy they are still in 1st.


Mr. Ace said...

Grump's love for grey dick keeps The Rapist close to his heart.

So is it official that my team is the best among the commenters? Eagles>>>Bears/Lions/Browns/Skins/Steelers. Am I missing anybody? Just another example of me being better than all of you.

Mr. Ace said...

"NFC Norf BAD. Drew is pretty pumped about being in first place. Lions fans."

Stop putting words in my mouf, BRAH. I totes get it, hence the "Lions fans" part.

GMoney said...

Got JSaul's contribution for Wednesday...guess who I'm waiting on now???

Nate said...

This is how bad the SEC has gotten this year: