End of Georgia vs. Auburn or end of black family Extreme Makeover Home Edition?
Big day in the Iceman household
Cakes was right! Norfwestern IS a tough out!! Just kidding...they're fucking rotten and it was a largely pathetic showing once again for Michigan's offense. The one thing that really stood out for me in this game other than the massive offensive struggle against a zero win Big Ten team, was Brendan Gibbons comments at the end of the game. He called Drew Dileo the "best holder in the country". Hmmmm. Is that so? I'm just sitting here wondering how in theee fuck you're able to belt that out with such confidence. What evidence do you have to support that wild claim? Do you sit in the film room and study the game film of every other holder in the country? Do you have a holder scouting report you analyze that reveals different holder's tendencies? Drew Dileo for the Holding Heisman! Jesus...what a fat turd. Thanks for helping us win Saturday and fuck you and your short pants for the Penn State loss.
Saturday isn't exactly what Ohio fans had in mind, I'm sure. As G$ bluntly and correctly texted me Saturday afternoon...FSU would have beat that IlliNOISE team 70-0. Yes...they would have. Yes, Cakes...THEY WOULD HAVE. Sure. Ohio won and did so convincingly when it was all said and done. But letting IlliNOISE hang 35 on your ass isn't a good look for a team begging for national respect. If 10th year Senior Nathan Scheelhaase can orchestrate what happened Saturday, imagine what 2 time National Champion and southern gent A.J. McCarron would do. But I'm sure we'll see loads of menstruating in the comment section anyway about how no one respects a team that hasn't lost in 2 seasons and how it's a God damn Greek tragedy Ohio isn't ranked higher. Christ...you guys are a bunch of fuckin women. I've never seen a fan base bitch so much about their 3rd ranked college football team. GIVE IT A REST, already. That paragraph should get you Fuckeyes going today.
This just in: Baylor jumped Ohio in the AP poll. This is news because A) LULZ at no one respecting Ohio and for good reason. B) Drew cares so much about AP rankings since last week he pointed out Wisconsin's AP rank and not their BSC rank while trying to defend Ohio's ass schedule. And C) This will no doubt produce infinite Cakes tears.
Man. I'm really starting to feel bad for Aaron Murray. I take back every last bad thing I said about this guy. Dude is a fucking warrior and has been really impressive even after losing every receiving weapon this year. The way Georgia lost to Auburn is the absolute fucking pits and I have zero judgement for what kind of shit MuDawg got himself into Saturday night because of it. Hope it was a good one, brother. Even though I really do feel terrible for Murray, watching him violently spike his ball cap into the ground after that 73 yard impossible TD catch was quite hilarious and worth watching over about 20 times. A+ camera work. That should be the GIF of the week.
We don't talk a lot of American Athletic Conference here and for good reason. THEY BAD. But that catch by J.J. Worton at the end of the UCF/Temple game was about the dirtiest fucking grab I've ever seen. Peep it. My favorite part of that clip is the announcer that completely creamed himself at the end, then was so sexually spent and had nothing to say afterwards. Top shelf stuff. UCF ended up barely winning because Temple is one of the worst programs in the country.
Florida State and Jameis Winston absolutely sexually assaulted Syracuse, Saturday! Ba-da, ting!! Thank you, thank you. I'm here all night. Be sure to tip your waitress.
So apparently New Brunswick is the bullying capital of the nation. Or maybe Rutgers just excels in recruiting crybaby pussgash athletes that get a little too emotional when a coach yells at them or doesn't play them because they are terrible. I'm really starting to get fucking sick of this whole "bullying" thing. Seems like the go-to excuse these days.
Miami says, "We're all done helping you now, Florida State.". Yeeesh. Getting schooled by Duke is a pretty wicked reality. Duke "Silver" Johnson is a great player...but he never played defense. That's three "L's" in a row for the Canes and at some point you have to stop blaming losses on just one player being out. I suppose Duke is pretty good this year but at the end of the day it's fucking Duke football and they just roasted you for 48 points, BRAH. That loss is inexcusable if you want to be taken seriously as a program.
That was it, kids. That was your blown chance at ROLL DAMN DYNASTY to lose this year. With that tight one on Saturday, all Mississippi State did was drop a lit M-80 up Bama's shit pipe. Despite playing their worst and sloppiest offensive game of the season (3 turnovers), SabeyCakes and the boys still pulled off the win and are most likely going to unload on bitches after this wake up call the rest of the way.
That Hogan fella from Stanford has to feel like quite the choad. Way to throw quite possibly the worst interception in school history to hand USC the win while obliterating your season. The good news is Stanford didn't play Stanford football on Saturday so I don't anticipate the Cardinal dropping in the rankings at all because of that loss that doesn't count. I wonder how G$ felt about USC fans storming the field after that one based on his loosely constructed set of arbitrary rules. Herbie loved it and that's all that really matters, right?
I DONE! Tons of shit to talk about today as last Saturday shaped up to be pretty entertaining. But not more entertaining than all the bitching we'll hear from the Fuckeye faithful today. Who's gonna lead the charge and carry that whiner flag? One last thing...don't forget to Keep Calm and FUCK YOU CAKES!