Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Brad Ausmus, Eh?

Really drunk sluts love a man who used to hit behind Deivi Cruz.
The DFL only lasted four years but it did leave one lasting impression that everyone enjoyed: the Sunday 1 pm game chat. Ever since the league changed ownership (and rules were ignored by crooked commissioners), the chat has lacked the same gusto and fervor of the old days. However, this past weekend, the LFL Sunday Chat felt more like home and that was nice. One of the topics for a few hot takes was the Detroit Tigers new manager.

So the Tigers have decided to go with former catcher Brad Ausmus as their new leader. Dut seems to like this hire because he is the best looking manager in the game (he actually said this). JSaul and I found it puzzling. Look, I don’t know dick about Ausmus as a manager because no one does. He must have received glowing praise from the Israeli team that he failed to qualify for the WBC during his only prior coaching experience. It seems like teams are trending toward retired catchers more and more (because those are the smartest players on the field) to lead their clubs. But does this make much sense for the Tigers?

I just don’t see it. Ausmus has almost no experience as a coach, let alone a manager. The Tigers are a team with title aspirations but with a closing window to do so. Do you really want a manager who may or may not know what he’s doing cutting his teeth with massive expectations? This can’t be the best candidate out there. You can point to Mike Matheny but at least he spent some time with Drunk Drivin’ LaRussa. If Ausmus was your guy, then who the hell else was on the list? Herm Edwards?  Pat Shurmur? Michael Curry? He was a special advisor with the Padres. GOOD JOB THERE, BRO! There didn’t seem to be any animosity toward the prior staff so why wasn’t Jeff Jones or Tom Brookens promoted? That would have made more sense to me than hiring a greenhorn.

All of these points were made in the chat. Dut fired back with something along the lines of “managers in baseball are OVERRATED anyway”. Yes, because there is no strategy or gamesmanship involved in baseball. Anyone can execute a double switch or handle a bullpen. ANYONE. And after yesterday’s attacks on The Hokester’s credibility as a legitimate big time coach, this post seemed like the next logical step to the conversation. How important are coaches/managers anyway?

OBVZ, if you have ELITE talent, your job is much easier. But it’s more than just rolling out the balls. To think that way is completely idiotic. For as little as I think of him since he looks like Dave Walther, Erik Spoelstra is a damn good basketball coach. If you think that Phil Jackson had the easiest gig in the world, deal with Kobe Bryant for about 15 minutes and I bet that your opinion would change drastically. Football coaches are also important because idiots tend not to win. Guys like Belichick and the BRAHs will always be better than Jason Garrett and Greg Schiano. Formulating game plans takes forever and the best usually come out on top. We’ve already discussed how absurd it is to act like managers are interchangeable in baseball. I personally think that the Reds would have made the World Series (made it there, not win it) at some point over the last three years if they had anyone besides Dut Baker on the bench. But that is just me.

I dislike Joe Maddon a lot but you can’t tell me that if Eric Wedge managed the Rays, they would be as successful. A smart and experienced skipper means the world in baseball. Digging up some recently retired catcher to get you over the hump and win a World Series sounds so ridiculously far-fetched and DUMB to me. Those slugging fat guys aren’t likely going to get better. Every year, a few more MPH are going to come down from those power arms. The time for Mike Ilitch to get a ring before he dies is nearing its end. I would have thought that they would have went with someone who actually knows the job and has made the tough moves before. This a risk that the Astros would take. 

Instead, they hired a project. Managing/coaching matters. It matters a lot. Just look at the fucking Indians. The difference between Manny Acta and Tito was stunning. So you trash bags can sit around and talk yourself into Brad Ausmus until your teeth fall out from gingivitis, but just like Israel in the World Baseball Classic, you aren’t winning shit with this guy either. And THAT, my enemies, is a HOT SPROTS TAEK.  Eat all of our dicks.

53 comments:

Mr. Ace said...

I still think Ozzie Guillen could have brought out the best in Drunk Miggy.

#MACtion

Grumpy said...

They could have had Alvin Dark.

Jeff said...

If you ask Bobby Valentine, managers don't matter. He claims he could have won it all with this year's Red Sox team instead of last years. Go back to claiming you invented wrap sandwiches you fucking clown.

The Tigers should have gone with Tony Pena. He's been around high payroll clubs, been part of a winner, and most importantly he can speak fluent spick.

Jeff said...

And TP is a former catcher!

GMoney said...

Great points on TP! The Tigers should hire Terrelle Pryor to be their manager.

Ozzie would have been hilarious. He may be a complete disaster to deal with, but the guy definitely knows the game.

Alvin Dark! Nice Willie Mays era manager reference! Yeah, you didn't stump me on that. Go back to Yager Stadium!

Anonymous said...

Dut is way worse than Drew - yea I said it.

I completely agree with you... Its not a coincidence that you see the same coaches names in the playoffs every year, no matter what team they are coaching. Francona has to be a great example. Look what he did with the Indians this past year - they way over-achieved.

It's not a coincidence that since 1991, only 8 different coaches have led their team to an NBA championship. Good coaching matters, and guys like Mike Brown are not good coaches.

Good call Jeff - Pena wouldn't have been a bad hire at all. The Tigers will still be losers next year, just like they always have been.

Seal

Anonymous said...

There is no such thing as a HOT TAKE about baseball in November. Thats as cold a take as you can muster up.

In surprising news, I also got the Alvin Dark reference. I thought a Chuck Tanner reference would have been in the works, but here we are.

Good to see the LFL chatter is back up. Last time I stopped by, there was 5 comments all day.

Ide

Prime99 said...

The Tigers hire is at least better than the Cubs hire of........???..... NO FUCKING BODY. I have trusted Theo since he was hired, and overall, he's made good decisions. Their drafting and trades have built the Cubs farm system up to be a top 5 system. However, I'm certain his thought process of firing Dale Sveum was "Fire Sveum. ? Profit." Pretty sure he though Unfrozen Caveman Manager was coming over, which didn't happen a month ago. The hiring list is embarrassing (Manny Acta is a candidate.) Fuck.

Managing matters. The Dodgers proved that in the playoffs as Donnie Baseball took unnecessary risks and his more talented team lost.

GMoney said...

Prime, you also interviewed the Strokemaster General Eric Wedge!

Good call on NBA coaching, Seal. You tend to see a few more morons make the Super Bowl in the NFL (like Mikes Tomlin and McCarthy) but it is usually the same guys that you know are good.

These is no offseason for HOT TAEKS. My Deivi Cruz reference alone won the day for me.

I hope you all bet against the RedHawks last night like I did. Cash money. Tressel will get things turned around, BRAH.

Anonymous said...

Comparing Brad Ausmus to Michael Curry is a horrible take. Ausmus seems to be on everyone's short list (for whatever reason)....Curry.......not so much.

I was fine with the hire, because it meant the Tigers thought outside their comfort zone. The easy thing to do woudl have just been to promote Lloyd McClendon (new Mariners Manager)...but, they liked Ausmus more so they went with them. I respect that. You also mention Jim Jones...who is going to stay on as the Pitching coach...and Gene Lamont is staying on as bench coach after finishing second behind John Farrell for the Red Sox job last Summer. So, it's not like Ausmus is bringing in some completely inexperienced staff with him....he's got good guys around him.

Between LaRussa vetting him for the Tigers and the numerous things I've ready from other former teammates of Ausmus....everyone just seems to rave about the guy and think he's going to be a great manager....which is probably why he was being mentioned for every job.

Someone should do a documentary on the brain of a Cleveland fan (preferably Slow Seal's) to see how it works when they say things like the Tigers "have always been losers".

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Way to compare nba basketball coaches with MLB managers, seal. Very nice apples to apples comparison there. (Heavy sarcasm)

"They didn't need me when I got here. And they won't need me when I'm gone. If they can play, they can play" -Jim Leyland

Tony Pena quit as the royals coach after they started 8-25. The more I think of it, the more I wish we would have gone with Pena!

Never forget that Dave dombrowski is smarter than all of us combined. Remember when he fleeced the Yankees for Jackson and cy scherzer? Me too.

Ausmus had an offer from the marlins and was a finalist for the redsox job before they it got Farrell. There were no big names out there. I'd prefer taking a chance on a young up and coming coach than taking some retread like Pena or dut baker. Lllllloyd mclendan even got a job. Good luck with that.

Franconas team did over achieve this year. The Indians should always strive to an over achieving 2nd place finish without winning any playoff games. Very nice season.

Dut

GMoney said...

The Tigers didn't get Scherzer from the Yankees, dipshit.

I love how you guys "know" who the finalists and #2 guy for managerial jobs were. Since when did GMs and teams start releasing that info. You know nothing.

Joe Torre was considered a re-tread when the Yankees hired him to get them over the top because Buck couldn't. That worked out better than bringing in some turd like Sandy Alomar (recently retired catcher).

Again, this is a risk that the Astros would take. If you are a contender, you don't hire a newbie who has barely COACHED before and never managed in the States.

It's Jeff Jones, not Jim, Mr. Tigers Fan.

Drooler is the Michael Curry of this site. Dut is Pat Shurmur.

Anonymous said...

Way to go loser, your 149 million dollar payroll team was better than our 82 million by 1 game. Youre fucking losers. Just ask the Red Sox, or Giants - sweeeeeeeeeep. Anything but a world series is a failure with the way this team has been built. Loser team in a loser city with loser fans.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Remember when he fleeced the Yankees for Jackson and cy scherzer? Me too

hahahahhahahhahahahahaha what an idiot Dut is.

Jeff said...

The team Pena quit on:
David DeJesus CF
Angel Berroa SS
Mike Sweeney 1B
Matt Stairs DH
Terrence Long LF
Emil Brown RF
Mark Teahen 3B
John Buck C
Ruben Gotay 2B

Oooof!!!!

Dave Dombrowski signed Prine to a 9 yr $214M contract and Verlander to a 7 yr $180M.

Did Austin Jackson just strike out again?

Anonymous said...

I think Dut misplaced his (Heavy sarcasm) notification. Seal does make a point. Having a $150 million payroll blow an o ring every October has to be more disappointing than over achieving.

Ide

Jeff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff said...

*I misspelled beached whale.

Prine should read as beached whale.

Anonymous said...

*I misspelled beached whale.

Awesome.

Seal

Anonymous said...

The Red Sox had a higher payroll than the Tigers, so going by Slow Seal's way of thinking....the Tigers went as far as they should have gone based on payroll expectations.

"If you are a contender, you don't hire a newbie who has barely COACHED before and never managed in the States."...tell the Cardinals that.

Not really sure what you want here today, G$....I'm not gushing over the hire nor am I slamming it. There was not a home run hire out there to make. They interviewed Ausmus and liked him more than an internal candidate. Dombrowski is thought of as one of the smartest front office people in baseball...I like that he was so impressed by Ausmus that he would prefer him over one of the current coaches. We'll see how it works out.

"Loser team in a loser city with loser fans"..again...can we get a brain surgeon to just let us know what goes on inside the brain of a Cleveland fan?

--Drew



Anonymous said...

I understand that the tigers got scherzer in a 3 team deal. The deal was not possible without the Yankees involvement. FLEECED!

Jeff- the prince signing is looking to be terrible (although there is no way the tigers win the AL last year without him). Are you ripping on him for signing verlander to an extension? Should he have gone the windians route and traded him away for can't miss prospects like Matt laporta?

Why do windians fans always cry about their owners being turds and letting their players go, and then rip on teams for spending money and trying to win? Jealous?

Dut




Anonymous said...

First off, where today did any Indians fans rip on our owners? If anything, Indians fan like the direction the owners have taken the club this past year by spending more money and bringing in Francona. And to answer your jealous question, LOLZZZZZ. Jealous of what? You under achieving every year and being losers? You haven't won anything worth winning for the money you spent. We surely aren't jealous of your bankrupt city.

I'm cracking up at the thought of a Tigers fan thinking Indians fans are jealous of them... hahaha god you're a moron.

Seal

Anonymous said...

If a team is consistently better than another team, then that team is usually jealous of the better team. That's just facts. Then again, I'm not really sure if Indians fans are jealous...because, that would actually mean that they have feelings for/care about their team. I don't think they actually care based on the Indians awesome 28th best attendance in the MLB. You got problems when Astros fans like going to Astros games more than Indians fans like going to Indians games.

--dREW

GMoney said...

The point is that this is a YUGE risk and one that a team with championship aspirations (albeit shrinking fast even if you don't want to admit that) should probably not be making. Runner-up for a job with a 93 loss team. Good work!

Dave D throws big money and big years at fat guys...good job, good effort.

Joe Dumars was once considered one of the best GMs, too. Opinions change quickly when you spend time in that shitty city.

Dut likes this hiring because the guy is cute. FACT. Has he bought a bunch of Texas Tech Football gear yet?

GMoney said...

Jealousy? Not one of us here (other than Alvin Dark historian, Grumpy) remembers 1984. You're all jealous of me and my winning ways (and maybe Jeff but fuck him).

Jeff said...

I have no problem with paying guys buku bucks, but do have a problem paying them buku bucks for buku years. There are exceptions to every rule, though.

Anonymous said...

1984>1948. Jealous.

Anonymous said...

Did the windians get an exceeded expectations or a "2nd place with less payroll" trophy this year?

GMoney said...

^^^That is just as important as buying AL Championship rings because LULLLLLZZZZZZZ

GMoney said...

And I have no idea how an Ohio Buckeye fan can say that coaching doesn't matter. Luke Fickell and Urbo Franklin 3...DID NOT MATTER AT ALL! Get fucked, Dut.

Anonymous said...

Exactly, G$ - because there is no difference in Billy Gillespie and John Calipari...

Seal

Anonymous said...

Woah woah woah....I never said that football coaches dont matter. I only said that baseball managers weren't that big of a deal. Coaches/managers level of importance depends on the sport. Don't twist my words, douche.

Dut

Mr. Ace said...

AL Central fans can all suck mine and Ozzie Guillen's balls circa 2005. Be jealous that your team didn't win the WS with the greatest manager ever.

Brady said...

It's a puzzling move but the guy has plenty of talent to work with. It will either be a solid choice (I could probably win 90 with the Tigers) or it will be a spectacular fireball. I'm hoping for the latter.

Tribe/Kittens race should be awesome next season. Can't wait for it to start again.

GMoney said...

The point I'm making is that all coaches matter A LOT.

If this year's World Series was LaRussa against Bobby V, I have a hard time believing that it ends Red Sox in 6.

Was Brad Ausmus a member of the Tigers team that finished as the worst team in American League history? If so then he is more than qualified for your job.

Prime99 said...

The Royals winning the AL Central next year would make the commenting section a hilarious shit show.

Anonymous said...

Here is a HOT TAEK -

John Snoad is available for hire.

Maybe Michigan should pick up the phone?

Anonymous said...

G$- coaches do matter. A LOT. However, it still varies by sport. I would argue that managing in baseball matters less than all other major sports (not including NASCAR).

Dut

GMoney said...

You got that straight. A proper crew chief separates the Edwards's's's from the Hornish's's's. About time you said something smart.

It's also why studs like myself are always great at fantasy football while the JSauls and -Rexs of the world continue to be putrid. Management is always key.

Johnny F got canned? THERE IS NO GOD!

Luke Fickell to FAU? I wonder if his wife will let that happen. There might be some pizza boys down there that need to be fired. He'll be fired in 3 years because he sucks not because of coke.

Anonymous said...

I doubt Luke Fickell takes the FAU job, even though he's their #1 choice. As their own AD said....it's beneath him.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

We are 1.5 points away from being right in the playoff mix. There is somehting off about that league that continues to round down on my teams.....I always have blamed the commish and how we have had the same matchup schedule since inception.

There isn't much to say about this Tigers hire. Obviouslly has a lot to prove and seemed to be a good candidate to take a risk on. He is Jewish - so there is that.

But outside of "its trendy to hire yound EX Catchers", the resume doesn't point to much else.

Except for his good looks.

- J Saul

GMoney said...

Picking up dog shit is not beneath Luke Fickell. LOL at thinking he's in line for some massive opening. He is an Owl at best.

FagNasty Fickell and AD Chun are friends. He wouldn't have taken the interview in the first place if he wasn't interested. This news wouldn't have leaked from Urbo's program if it wasn't serious.

Urb wants him to take it because he is a terrible coach and he finally get rid of him and his probably cunt-y wife. FACT.

Anonymous said...

I would say that the Pitt job is wayyyyyyyyyy better than Florida Atlantic and Fickell interviewed for that a couple years ago. Hopefully, he's the next head coach of the Miami Redhawks.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Please please please please Fickell to the Redhawks.

GMoney said...

The MAC, outside of Akron, has shown no interest in that mental defective. Everyone sees through that horseshit.

Pitt must emply some sort of Rooney Rule for retarded people.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ the MAC showing interest in Fickell. It's that Fickell hasn't shown interest in the MAC. Every job there would be quite the decrease in pay.

--Drew

GMoney said...

That is such a dumb argument. EVERYONE wants to be a head coach. You sacrifice pay to be THE MAN. Very few strive for a life of being someone's bitch.

The few people who don't think that way are losers like Jim Bollman and Bud Foster and former FSU DC Mickey Andrews.

Anonymous said...

It really isn't a dumb argument. If you are a good OC/DC at a top BCS school like OSU, then you can skip something like the MAC and not take that big pay cut. Even a school like MSU with Narduzzi....he's not fucking leaving MSU for a MAC head coaching job. He's going to leave for something better than that. I would imagine Tom Herman could get a MAC job too....but, I bet he gets a better job.

--Drew

--Drew

Nate said...

"That is such a dumb argument. EVERYONE wants to be a head coach. You sacrifice pay to be THE MAN. Very few strive for a life of being someone's bitch."

And even fewer of these (1) choose to remain a coordinator for the sole purpose of being a pedophile.

GMoney said...

Great point, Nate, Fickell fucks kids. Another layer to the FagNasty moniker.

In my opinion, Drooler completely OVERRATEs the value of Fickell. He is easily replaceable and did a below average job when he got the chance to lead a talented football team. He should have taken a non-BCS job (or Pitt because you think that an interview means he was offered the job) two years ago as a potential stepping stone and prove that he can be THE MAN. He didn't because his wife is his boss. He is never going to be the one to replace Urb and if he wants to one day be the big dog at a nice program, then he needs to get out of Columbus and show what he can do.

So if you ask me, he has already fucked this up. Go down to FAU for a slight pay decrease and work your for buddy AD. Recruit your ass off and win games. Come back to a BCS conference in 3 years.

Gus Malzahn did it and it worked out well. Then again, Malzahn knows what he's doing.

GMoney said...

Also: I win again. Isn't life much easier when you're arguing with the Slow and not the Best?

GMoney said...

Another HOT TAEK? Why not?

Anthony Bennett makes a basket tonight in Milwaukee on Michael Redd Retirement Night. Yeah, I'm calling for it! In fact, let's get nuts, he makes three baskets.

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