|Why did I draft Montee Ball again?|
*Much like in real life, running backs are almost worthless. Those poor bastards who go RB/RB almost certainly have God awful teams. Knowshon Moreno is currently the #5 RB as far as points scored this season. WTF? Peterson, Foster, Ray Rice, Doug Martin, Spiller, and T-Rich…all drafted within the first 15 picks and all of them have provided poor value.
*You’re better off just drafting a shit ton of backs and hoping that two of them are competent.
*Stop drafting running backs on bad teams. You don’t run the ball when you’re always playing from behind.
*Draft receivers on bad teams even if the team sucks. Just look at Justin Blackmon and Josh Gordon.
*When it comes to your QB, it doesn’t pay to seek value. I’ve been on #TeamELITEQB forever and this year is a perfect example why. You may not like the idea of going QB in the first round or spending the most cap money on a passer, but it’s the best move. You aren’t just paying for production, you are paying for peace of mind and consistency. Rusty Dubs might get you 30 points one week but then 5 the next. I don’t want that. I’ll pay a lot stiffer price to guarantee that Breesus gets me 25-30 every damn week. But go ahead and ignore this truth and keep drafting your running backs. I’ll keep making the playoffs while you try to figure out who to start between Romo and Andy Dalton.
*Dut likes to consider himself some sort of waiver wire guru. That’s pointless. It still comes down to “can you draft well”. He cannot. You’re not going to win your league if half your roster was purged from the wire. Do your fucking homework.
*I will never ever own Chris Johnson again. I have two really good teams and two really bad teams. Guess who is featured heavily on those two bad teams? He was supposed to be a stud again after they drafted a road grating guard and signed Andy Levitre AND run the ball more than any other team. CHOKE ON YOUR LIES, CJ!
*I go into the weekend 6-1 in the MSFL and 5-2 in the LFL. I expect to win both leagues. By the way, I know that you probably hate it when I consider myself to be an expert at fantasy football. I get that. And I freely admit that I BLOW at snake drafts for some reason. But there is no arguing that I am really good at the auction game. I must have been an ELITE plantation owner in a previous life.
So let’s spend today talking about how great we are or threatening to murder players that have let us down. Yeah, I’m looking right at you, Marques Colston. And I’m sure that Prime is staring daggers through Arian Foster. Don’t you walk away from us, BOY. It’s pretty much guaranteed that I’m going to win the MSFL and also my third straight LFL Fleshlight. No one else compares (especially Jeff).
As I mentioned earlier in the week, I’ve been bleeding out slowly on the GAMBLOR front this season. It’s just been really hard to sustain any positive momentum from week to week. Negative momentum? Oh man, do I have a lot of that. So I’m not going to give out a bunch of picks this week all the while pretending that I am some money-making machine. Instead, I’ll just offer up my Glory Hole (now 4-2!!!).
MAC Glory Hole of the Week: Toledo +3.5 @ Bowling Green – Oh yeah, the rivalry game that no one cares about! This feels like a field goal game to me even before I saw that SI did a feature on BG coach Dave Clawson this week. CURSED, I say! I also like Ape and Lange and Law School LS more than Dut and Cakes and Iceman and Wiggy and two years of Damman (and probably others that I’m not remembering because fuck ‘em). I would also recommend Ball State -10.5 @ Akron and I do not recommend taking the RedHawks +25 @ Ohio U. You might want to go the other way.
Well, hey there, Mr. Ace is on FIRE with his Hammers of the Week (now at a robust 6-10 on the season!!!). Don’t you guys worry, we’re going to see just how bad this man’s picks are all the way through the end of the season. He is not going to be allowed to quit early on us. We need to see when he hits rock bottom.
I don't even think I need explanations any more.
NCAA: Penn State/Fuckeyes OVER 55.5. IU put up 40+ against Penn State’s defense and Michigan did about the same. The Fuckeyes defense is bad. These two things should mean points, which means the score will be 3-2.
NFL: Cleveland/KC UNDER 39.5. Kansas City might break 20. Maybe. The only way this goes over is with two or more defensive TD's...which is pretty much a guarantee since I picked it.
Moneyline: FUCK YOU CAKES (The Raiders will beat the Steelers and I think there is some value in ML Maryland)
That will do it for this week. Feel free to pat me on the back some more for owning Iceman in that argument we had over Brady and Spiller. He was wrong. Like usual, I was correct. Brady is barely start-able anymore. And medium-sized ups to Ide for saying that Kaepernick would suck. He probably just thought that because he hates half-breed orphans though. Go Penn State! BEAT OU!