Friday, October 11, 2013

You Ready To Go Back To A Georgian Prison

In case you forgot, The Walking Dead starts up again this Sunday with season number...I don't remember.  When we last left, The Governor went nuts and killed all his people, Maggie was my sweet angel, and that is about all that I can remember.  Oh!  Andrea died.  They say it was due to getting bit and then being Michonne'd, but I think it was because she was a gullible idiot.  Anyway, here are my predictions for this coming season:

*Rick will not wash his shirt
*Carl will fulfill his destiny and start raping everything that moves because he IS a serial killer
*Maggie will always be the GOAT
*Glenn does everyone's math homework
*Michonne scowls while no one likes her
*Tyreese opens up that boxing gym.  He accepts peach cobbler as payment
*Hershel DEAD
*Carol and Daryl bone for some reason and the nation revolts because we love Daryl and sex with Carol would be revolting
*Li'l Ass Kicker gets killed by Da Gov because they killed his daughter
*It will continue to be a laughably absurd, awful, and entertaining watch on Sunday nights

Feel free to unload your predictions in the comments.  Here are my picks to click for the weekend:
Oklahoma -13.5 vs. Texas - Probably not going to go to this game after the dog medical bills but I expect Stoops to crush the Horns and putting the final nail in Mack Brown's coffin.
Ohio -18 vs. Central Michigan - Ohio just beat Akron by a million and I saw last weekend how shitty the Chips are.
Baylor -17.5 @ Kansas State - The Bears cover by a ton every week.  You should be riding this wave of ELITE cover skills.
Michigan -2.5 @ Penn State - Didn't Sandusky's Boyz just get dumped at IU by three touchdowns?  Thought so.
Boise State -7 @ Utah State - No Chuckie Keaton?  No chance.  Nate B sucks at making Mountain West predictions.

MAC Glory Hole of the Week (3-2!) Miami +4 @ UMass - This is my LOCK OF THE SEASON.  I recommend the points but I also STRONGLY recommend the moneyline here.  The dark clouds are gone and it is Bath Time yet again.  By the way, I'm pretty sure that this is the worst college football game of the past decade.  You don't usually see two of the bottom three ranked teams in ESPN's Bottom Ten playing each other.  This is not a homer pick at all and you know this since I have bet against for the past month.  We are going to win.  Rack me.  How about some NFL picks...

St. Louis +8.5 @ Houston - Matt Schaub is ass.  The Texans are 0-5 ATS this year.  I love consistency.
Jacksonville +26.5 @ Denver - It's too much.  It just is.  Either stay away or take the points.  Denver is looking ahead to their trip to Indy next week.
New Orleans +2.5 @ New England - The Saints are vastly superior.  What's Mr. Ace thinking?

Fuck yeah, 0-2 (5-7 on the year...barf).
NCAA: There are actually quite a few games I like this week. I will drop the rest of my picks in the comments, but the one GUARANSHEED I have is Florida Atlantic +13 against Marshall. FAU is 5-1 against the spread. They got handled by DA U and ECU the first two weeks, but have been playing good football ever since. I think they can win.
NFL: Green Bay -3. I think that Baltimore is ass and have since the beginning of the year. The Packers are coming off a bye. I know Matthews is out, by they have guys that can fill his role(Matthews is totes overrated). The Ravens really need this game, but so do the Packers. Packers by 10 in a shootout.
Moneyline: Redskins(GASP!) at+205. I don't know why but I think they figure it out against the Romo's. FAU +380. #FUCKYOUCAKES

A slight change in scheduling next week as Iceman's College Football Takes will appear on Monday (while I am traveling) and the NFL Report will be on Tuesday.  Please mark your calendars.  This also means that Iceman gets to lead TWD Monday afternoon discussion.  BASTARD!

That's it for this week.  I'll be heading to the airport this morning to prepare for my first and last trip to Jerry World.  The Skins are 5.5 point underdogs.  I like us but that is me TOTES being a homer.  One thing is certain: if the Skins are going to contend this season, we will know on Sunday night.  Look for me on TV as I will be the stud chucking Mexicans off the upper deck.  Peace out, senors.

25 comments:

Nate said...

Hey we both made terrible Heisman predictions. At least mine's legitimately injured.

I'd stay away from Oklahoma vs. Texas. While Texas has sucked, they still have mounds of recruited talent over the year and are capable of playing up for this game. Would not surprise me to see Texas beat the spread, then get blown out by Baylor the week after.

Couldn't agree more with USU. Joe Southwick "Mall" will tear up that Aggie defense.

Nate said...

EDIT: *then get blown out by TCU in a couple of weeks.

GMoney said...

FUCK YOU CAKES! You can't do anything right!

I have no idea why Baylor is only ranked 15th. They are incredible.

Anonymous said...

Only an asshole would blame traveling on missing an ELITE narrative for Redskins and Indian Genocide day.

I hate you Cakes. The one game I care about in 10 years and you fuck it up.

I took the Jags against the spread because Blackman will get a few tds. This is the same defense that let Romo cum all over it. That UM line is sexy though. Im in.

ELOLI Manning!

Ide

Anonymous said...

BRAAAAAAAAADY! BRAAAAAAAAAAADY! BRAAAAAAAAAAAAADY! BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADY!

Boy...I sure wish Scherzer had pitched last night, right Slow Seal! LOLZ!

That Verlander guy was OK in the ALDS.

G$....The Red Sox or the Tigers are going to be playing in the World Series...have fun with that.

I like Michigan to cover that PSU line as well.

NFL day isn't until Tuesday? Of course I will have to wait a day longer to revel in my Lions victory over the Browns.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Seriously, how does that UM/Penn State line make ANY sense? Central Florida won in the RapeDome...I'm pretty sure that The Hokester can drop the atomic leg as well.

Goddamn Bears cost me money again. Fuckers. I'm sending Prime the bill.

Ide, I like the way you think and will be saying that all of Sunday night...Romo and Gabbert are pretty much the same QB.

GMoney said...

Yep, sorry Drew, Lions smack will have to wait.

By the way, my DS predictions were pretty damn great:
Dodgers in 4, Red Sox in 4, Tigers in 5, and Pirates in 5. I rocked 7 out of 8, BRAH!

Dodgers in 6; Red Sox in 7...I will not watch any of the ALCS and that is the easiest prediction ever

Anonymous said...

Let's take some time out to talk about CBJ. God they looked sharp yesterday. Gaborik is the scorer we needed, and if Atkinson can play like he did last night, then we could be lethal. Jared Boll snagging a fighting penalty after we're up 3-1 was a gangster move. Nothing says fuck you quite like throwing fisticuffs after mercy ruling a team in the 1st period.

I know it was against inferior competition, but that was just the kind of game we needed before we start a mini murderers row of the top teams in the East. I am thankful for the OSU bye week so I can focus on the CBJ/BOS game on Saturday.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Good convo today Nate, G$ and Ide!

--Drew

Jeff said...

Hey Brady, don't bother following anymore baseball.

Have fun in your new country abode. You should probably watch the movie Strangers once you move in because I'm sure that's about your life.

The Iceman said...

Getting to lead the Walking Dead discussion?! PROMOTION!!

Watching Indians fans actively root against Verlander's no hitter after realizing the Tigers weren't losing that game last night was so wonderfully pathetic.

Miguel Cabrera interviews are hilarious every time. Even if they're not supposed to be.

Of all former affletes who have been handed analyst jobs after retiring...Pedro Martinez is in the top 5 worst. He might even be worse than Hines Ward.

I watched entirely too much baseball last night...

GMoney said...

It was nice to the jackets murder someone for once. I want more of that.

Prime99 said...

Bears cost you money? Well, put me on a payment plan and I'll make sure to pay you on the 32nd of every month.

Want advice? DONT BET ON THE BEARS. They are not an easy team to figure out most years.

Hmm... TWD predictions? The show has deviated from comic so the source material is useless. The make Rick awful again. Definitely. I like G$'s Hershal dies prediction. Tyreese will be awesome and kill zombies/people with his hammer. They will leave the prison by season' end, if not before.

GMoney said...

This is bullshit. I've been sitting at the airport for 45 minutes and still haven't seen Jay Bilas yet. He's going to miss his flight!

Anonymous said...

We should be a counter at the top of this website starting today.... "1 Day Since Last Dog Attack"

Iceman....WINDIANS fans are a pathetic bunch aren't they?

--Drew

GMoney said...

Jeff Boals sighting!!!

Anonymous said...

Boals and Tom Herman are both headed down to Dallas for recruiting purposes this weekend.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

They are Drew. They've even gone so far as to openly cheer for the Red Sox. Hilario. Nene.

Maybe Cakes should travel over to Dalls so he can showcase his 5.8 40 speed to the recruiters.

Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ, did anyone hear about AP's baby mommas new man (hashtagblackpeople) beating the shit out of their 2 year old kid sending him to the hospital unconscious and in critical condition? That is just insane.

In a related note, AP, god's running back has 2 kids by 2 moms so far. He really is AD.

Ide

Anonymous said...

"Peterson's son is currently on life support and hasn't had brain activity since 5:30 PM last night.

We're told the family is monitoring the situation closely, and if there is no improvement in 24 hours, the mother wants to remove life support and donate the boy's organs to people in need."

Holy fucking shit.

Ide

GMoney said...

Boals was flying back to the bus, list.

The Iceman said...

Ide breaking hot AP scoops.

But for realz...that's sad as shit and I hate to be the guy responsible for this kid's death. AP is going to ruin that dude's everything.

GMoney said...

If he dies, he dies.--Dolph Lundgren

The Iceman said...

Dolph has no heart, man. But GOD DAMMIT is he handsome!!

Anonymous said...

Fun Dolph Lundgren fact!

He is a Clemson Alum who was accepted to MIT.

He wouldn't like Jeff.

Ide