*Rick will not wash his shirt
*Carl will fulfill his destiny and start raping everything that moves because he IS a serial killer
*Maggie will always be the GOAT
*Glenn does everyone's math homework
*Michonne scowls while no one likes her
*Tyreese opens up that boxing gym. He accepts peach cobbler as payment
*Carol and Daryl bone for some reason and the nation revolts because we love Daryl and sex with Carol would be revolting
*Li'l Ass Kicker gets killed by Da Gov because they killed his daughter
*It will continue to be a laughably absurd, awful, and entertaining watch on Sunday nights
Feel free to unload your predictions in the comments. Here are my picks to click for the weekend:
Oklahoma -13.5 vs. Texas - Probably not going to go to this game after the dog medical bills but I expect Stoops to crush the Horns and putting the final nail in Mack Brown's coffin.
Ohio -18 vs. Central Michigan - Ohio just beat Akron by a million and I saw last weekend how shitty the Chips are.
Baylor -17.5 @ Kansas State - The Bears cover by a ton every week. You should be riding this wave of ELITE cover skills.
Michigan -2.5 @ Penn State - Didn't Sandusky's Boyz just get dumped at IU by three touchdowns? Thought so.
Boise State -7 @ Utah State - No Chuckie Keaton? No chance. Nate B sucks at making Mountain West predictions.
MAC Glory Hole of the Week (3-2!) Miami +4 @ UMass - This is my LOCK OF THE SEASON. I recommend the points but I also STRONGLY recommend the moneyline here. The dark clouds are gone and it is Bath Time yet again. By the way, I'm pretty sure that this is the worst college football game of the past decade. You don't usually see two of the bottom three ranked teams in ESPN's Bottom Ten playing each other. This is not a homer pick at all and you know this since I have bet against for the past month. We are going to win. Rack me. How about some NFL picks...
St. Louis +8.5 @ Houston - Matt Schaub is ass. The Texans are 0-5 ATS this year. I love consistency.
Jacksonville +26.5 @ Denver - It's too much. It just is. Either stay away or take the points. Denver is looking ahead to their trip to Indy next week.
New Orleans +2.5 @ New England - The Saints are vastly superior. What's Mr. Ace thinking?
Fuck yeah, 0-2 (5-7 on the year...barf).
NCAA: There are actually quite a few games I like this week. I will drop the rest of my picks in the comments, but the one GUARANSHEED I have is Florida Atlantic +13 against Marshall. FAU is 5-1 against the spread. They got handled by DA U and ECU the first two weeks, but have been playing good football ever since. I think they can win.
NFL: Green Bay -3. I think that Baltimore is ass and have since the beginning of the year. The Packers are coming off a bye. I know Matthews is out, by they have guys that can fill his role(Matthews is totes overrated). The Ravens really need this game, but so do the Packers. Packers by 10 in a shootout.
Moneyline: Redskins(GASP!) at+205. I don't know why but I think they figure it out against the Romo's. FAU +380. #FUCKYOUCAKES
A slight change in scheduling next week as Iceman's College Football Takes will appear on Monday (while I am traveling) and the NFL Report will be on Tuesday. Please mark your calendars. This also means that Iceman gets to lead TWD Monday afternoon discussion. BASTARD!
That's it for this week. I'll be heading to the airport this morning to prepare for my first and last trip to Jerry World. The Skins are 5.5 point underdogs. I like us but that is me TOTES being a homer. One thing is certain: if the Skins are going to contend this season, we will know on Sunday night. Look for me on TV as I will be the stud chucking Mexicans off the upper deck. Peace out, senors.