|That beached whale made 23 million dollars this year to make plays like this.|
Not Jim Irsay - I loved every little thing that this idiot said about Peyton because it is exactly what I think. Dude should have won more than one ring in Indy. He sucks in playoffs. People who call Irsay an ingrate are being dumb. Peyton didn't "build him a stadium". Irsay is right. That being said, I expect the Broncos to destroy the Colts tonight/last night.
Joey Joe Joe Fauria - Wait, now he's doing little mini dances after catching a first down? I don't think that I care for that. The Bengals might be the least impressive 5-2 team ever (never mind because it's New England) but that only means that they're winning without playing their best yet. Nice weekend, Detroit.
Ryan Tannehill - Here's a fun FACT: Ryan Tannehill sucks. Losing to the Bills at home is deport-able offense.
Tom BradyCakes - WHAT DID I TELL YOU!!! Don't doubt the master. Who would've guessed that Brady would get worse with Gronk back? You can never trust a MICHIGAN MAN. The Patriots are bad.
Chip Kelly - Sweet offense, BRAH! I guess your genius can tailor it to fit ANY quarterback! It didn't end up costing them, but at the end of the first half, Chump sent his kicker out for a 60 yard FG which he missed by a million feet. God dammit, the Cowboys are lock this division up by Thanksgiving.
Bonerz Barkley - Played one quarter...threw three interceptions. USC! USC! USC!
Marcus Vick - I'm not on Twitter (yet) but I imagine that if I do ever join, I will do nothing but say racist things to Marcus Vick because he is the dumbest. He was openly rooting against Nick Foles yesterday because he's a cocksucker.
Peter King - Thanks for the advice to draft Jared Cook, you fat ass! You said that he was the best player you saw all summer. The last 6 games he has a combined 16 catches for 170 yards. Fuck you, Peter. Go hang out in the Rams war room and talk about forever some more, fag.
Jay Catler's dong - What a bitch! He wasn't MAN ENOUGH to play a full game in DC! It's probably a good thing that his back-up is Steve Young apparently or at least that's what the hideous Skins defense made him look like. I'll take the victory and the bragging rights over Prime but that was way too close for comfort. This team sucks. Why?
Keith Burns - Believe me, bro, no one is saying Boooooooo-urns. This is our special teams coach and we have the worst special teams of all time. Gave up another PR TD because that is apparently going to be a weekly occurrence now. I can't wait to see what Peyton has in store for us next weekend. The only positive? Bro, the offense put up 45 and RG3 was just short of a 300/100 game. 2-4! Back on the Super Bowl track!
AlfMo-wners - Yeah, sorry about those three Roy Helu JUNIOR touchdowns. I couldn't believe it either. Won't happen again.
The Ravens/Steelers Rivalry - Still as boring as ever. Nothing has changed. If Grumpy is done pounding the oak trees, his chances of a 12-4 season and rib dinner on me are still alive!
Arian Foster - Total bitch. Alex Smith is horrible by the way. Just in case you forgot. You should not have.
Josh Gordon - Everyone likes to blame Brandon Weeden for the Browns being awful because it's easy and right, but Gordon was pretty poopy yesterday in Green Bay as well. If he wasn't falling on down on every route, he was dropping almost everything his way. TRADE HIM NOW!
FANTASY! - Feels like a 3-1 week to me but the Sunday nighter has too many players in play to know for sure. Ide = gay. He is every black gay man's fantasy.
That will do it for today. Don't forget to comment about how hard you laughed at the Tigers on Saturday night. Never forget how funny that was. Enjoy tonight's riveting Vikings/Giants game.