Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Because Every Coaching Search Should End in a Kick

Well, this is certainly revolting.
It’s been a tough year on the college football front for this internet stalwart and his octogenarian bark fucker, Grumpy (along with the Dawg). It is pretty much all but guaranteed that my RedHawks are going to complete the ELITE 0-12 season. The best day of the year was when we fired our dipshit coach and lard-ass OC but the results are still brutal. But at least there is hope now and that all rests on who the new coach will be. I know what you’re thinking, “Is he really giving an entire post to the Miami Football coaching search?” As those old Bud Light ads used to say…YES I AM. Count it.

A few days after Treadwell got sent to Hell, there were a few national writers Tweeting things along the lines of “hearing that Miami is shooting for the moon”. Hey! I like hearing that! I’ve heard names from Ron Zook (alum) to Tom Herman to Eric Taylor (my suggestion because he won state titles with Dillon AND East Dillon!). But the new rumor surfacing this past weekend about blew my dick off.

On Cleveland's major radio station 1100AM, one of the Indians reporters (Nick Camino) said that he believes Jim Tressel will be coaching next year at Miami. Dustin Fox (who played at OSU) and is on the FM sports radio station says he talked to Tressel and it isn't true.

Let’s ignore Dut Fox because I don’t like it when white DBs try to squash hot gossip and because it isn’t like Tressel is known for telling the truth anyway. Jim Tressel to Miami University? Whoa! That’s a lot to process right there. That certainly would qualify as “shooting for the moon”. I don’t even know where to begin with this because I’m still not sure how I feel about it. So many conflicting emotions! SHIT = CRAY!

OK, I truly believe that JT wants to coach again. I don’t think that he is a bad guy, per se, just that he made some horrible mistakes and attached himself to really bad people because his ego got massive. Basically, he thought that if he could win another title in Columbus, that the ends justified the means. It OBVZ blew up in his face at the end but at least he didn’t have to fire Gordon Gee over it (fucking idiot). He got his punishment and has stayed out of the limelight for the most part. But I believe that he wants another chance to do it right and go out on his own terms when he is ready and can rebuild his reputation to where it once was. That all makes sense.

I don’t think that he is going to get any BCS offers any time soon. While no one on the planet actually understands the show cause penalty and punishment, from what we do know, he still will have two years left of that which may put the program that hires him on probation as well, he would be suspended for the first five games of the next two seasons, and he would not be able to coach in any postseason games. That’s what I’m hearing is what would happen if he takes a job this Winter. And that is damn stiff. No “win-now” BCS school is touching that. So it would make sense for Tressel to look at a smaller school, right? There is only going to be one opening in his home state this year (unless Clawson leaves BG) so it does make more sense why there would be mutual interest from both the man and the school.

I think that this would be a really good fit actually. There isn’t a ton of pressure with this job although I demand national titles yearly. He has very small shoes to fill. He has coached in Oxford before. At 0-12, we can kind of afford to have a coach eat some suspension time while building something (hopefully) great. At 61, Tressel would still have 8-10 more years of coaching left (in my opinion). And hell, at least in the MAC he wouldn’t have to troll the projects looking for characters who get him in trouble. Nevermind, I’m all-in on #TeamTressHawk. This would be a grand slam hire. Anyone else would be a disappointment.

Who knows, this could all be bullshit and some asshole named Dut could be right. But I want to believe. Actually, this feels exactly like a hire that our new, very impressive AD would try to make. I once hated JT but I’m pretty sure that I hate going 0-12 a hell of a lot more and am willing to set aside my displeasure to actually win football games. We need to get our credibility and pride back. We apparently have the opportunity to bring a national championship-winning coach (who would be highly motivated to repair his image) to Oxford. I see no downside here…unless he learned nothing from his past crimes.

Jim Tressel and Miami University…let’s turn this rumor into a FACT and get back to dominating America’s most entertaining conference. Definitely an interesting topic to chew on…should be a good commenting day. The only thing that worries is me how all of our preppies are going to be able to tie J. Crew red sweater vests around their shoulders. IMPOSSIBLE!

41 comments:

Mr. Ace said...

STAAAWWWWP! I forgot we talked about this Saturday. I do think it would be a good fit, but I just don't see Tressel coming back and having to put up with those suspensions/sanctions. I think he rides it out for the next two years before coming back. Miami will be ready for a new coach by then again anyways.

MuDawgfan said...

This has about as much chance of happening as does Ohio State fielding a competitive Hockey Team.


OH SNAP! PLEASE HAMMER DON'T HURT EM!

Anonymous said...

There aren't any tattoo parlors in Oxford so that sounds like a great fit. Autographs could be exchanged at the Bagel and Deli shop instead which would not be an NCAA violation. PERFECT FIT!

GMoney said...

I am aware of the probable long shot that this is, but it doesn't mean that I don't have my hopes up.

Then again, not one person on the planet knows exactly what a show cause does as we have proven. Read more about the show cause in Cakes' weekly RB power rankings.

Bagel & Deli is the greatest.

Anonymous said...

Hire him NOW and offer the NCAA a bowl ban for the Redhawks THIS year and next. The NCAA would take that as proper punishment.

Anonymous said...

It would be funny to compare Grumpys comments from the OSU Tress Era to his comments gushing about Tress after his first speech in a Miami sweatervest.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Losing a fuckload of games will humble even the staunchest elm molester.

Jeff said...

Shoot for Tommy Bowden, him and Terry can bring the Bowden Bowl to the MAC.

Anonymous said...

I was hoping no one would comment today considering this is absolutely absurd to think will happen.

You fucking hated on this guy for so long... so funny to see your opinion change so quickly when the sniff of winning and getting him even comes in rumor form.

Seal

GMoney said...

Kind of like Fuckeye fans with Urb Frank Meyer III? Or probably you with scumbag Calipari? Your opinion of any man will change if they want to be your BFF. Shit happens and things change. Deal with it.

It may not happen in Oxford (probably won't), but it isn't absurd to think that Tress would take a smaller school job. Bobby Petrino did and all he did was fuck the secretary and crash his bike.

I just really don't want Ron Zook. He's a fucking banker now. Plus, all the good FireRonZook urls are already taken.

Daniel Efosa Uyi said...

hey nice post meh, You are one of the best writers I've seen of recent. I love your style of blogging here. this post reminds me of an equally interesting post that I read some time ago on Daniel Uyi's blog: Self-Improvement For Year End .
keep up the good work friend. I will be back to read more of your posts.

Regards

Jeff said...

Exactly, winning, or the thought of it, cures EVERYTHING. Graduation rates, arrests, minor/some major NCAA violations all go out the window when you're winning. Go ahead and preach to everyone how you're happy you try to do it the "RIGHT" way. You can do it the right way all you want, but you aint winning shit except maybe a team cumulative GPA contest argument or a blood drive.

Nicky Sabecakes is a better coach and better cheater than EVERYONE. FACT!

Mr. Ace said...

Daniel Efosa Uyi>Commenter Daniel

Seal...something about stones and glass houses.

Jeff said...

Commentor Daniel's alter ego?

Grumpy said...

Consider me humbled. Yes, I called Tressel a cheater at Ohio, but look at the douchebag there now. Challenging a first down spot when leading by 100? At least Tressel isn't THAT guy.

Show cause doesn't mean shit since it will take at least two years to recruit the players to get us out of this mess.

G$ and I will look good in red sweater vests.

The Iceman said...

Drew should go back and dig up all the rotten things G$ ever said about tress. Sacrifice all integrity and win at all costs, right G$? You might as well be an Ohio buckeye fan. G$ is on team Cakes.

GMoney said...

Until you own season tickets to an 0-12 abortion of a team, don't you preach to me about how I should act. Pride is more important than integrity.

I used to worry about "doing it the right way" constantly and look where it got me. You know who gets bogged down with that notion? Losers. I don't care what I've said about Tress in the past. Dude can coach and we need a guy who can coach. He's served his time. If he wants our job, he can fucking have it.

But I will never own or wear a sweater vest. Tinted glasses either.

Daniel Efosa Uyi is the frontrunner for Commenter of the Year.

Anonymous said...

Seal...something about stones and glass houses.

Im curious as to how this applies to my comment? If it regarding Calipari, G$ put those words in my mouth - I never hated that guy and he was my number one choice for the UK job. Why wouldnt he be - the guy is the best college basketball recruiter of all-time.

Seal

Jeff said...

"We haven't won anything, but at least we have integrity!" -Michigan fans

Anonymous said...

Iceman said what I was trying to say way better. Nice work.

Seal

Anonymous said...

0-12 MU > 8-4 UM

Ide

Grumpy said...

Lost in all of this is that G$ and Ace hang together on Saturdays. Intriguing and disgusting at the same time.

Anonymous said...

UCLA had some big time interest in Tressel before they hired Mora Jr....so, I'm not sure that he's destined for a small school. That being said, I could TOTES see him go down to a MAC Ohio school just to build a powerhouse of a MAC team. Dude would be a recruiting monster of Ohio kids. He would get MSU-level Ohio kids to go to Miami....no doubt in my mind.

I also think there's a good chance that Miami could petition to get some of shit knocked down. The NCAA has changed a ton over the last couple of years. They caught fucking Frank Haith giving recruits $3,200 through his assistants and slapped him with 5 fucking basketball games. That's way more bold than not turning in players for selling their own belongings.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Everybody who wasnt a Florida fan hated UFM while he was at Florida. FACT.
Fuckeyes opened their hearts and buttholes when he decided to be their coach. FACT.
G$ is doing the same thing(which he admits). FACT.
Seal denies he ever had negative thoughts about Cal or UFM before they coached his favorite teams. FACT.
Seals denials are lies. FACT.

Lesbihonest. Your fanhood is for sale as long as winning is involved. Mine is not. Don't get me wrong, I hate Michigan not winning/dominating, but I don't want a Les/UFM/Saban at Michigan. As always, ME>U.

GMoney said...

If you didn't loathe Calipari at Memphis then you have less integrity than I do. That's a you problem, Colin T.

Ape and I don't see each other often but when we do there is shit-load of heavy petting.

Drooler knows the score and he understands this from all sides. Probably because he's better than you (but not me).

Nate said...

"Lesbihonest. Your fanhood is for sale as long as winning is involved. Mine is not. Don't get me wrong, I hate Michigan not winning/dominating, but I don't want a Les/UFM/Saban at Michigan. As always, ME>U."

If only your kinesiology and academic admittance program had integrity, Jim Harbaugh would be your coach.

GMoney said...

No shit. All of you Wal-Mart Wolves wanted Young BRAH and he's killed at least 200 people in the past year alone. At least he has on this site. NICE INTEGRITY!

The Iceman said...

It's possible to win and do it the right way. Look at Lou Holtsssshhhhhhhh! LOL! Just kidding. He's terrible. But you can win at the D1 level and not be a scum sucking turd in the process. Way to let Tressel buy your soul simply on a one and a million chance he comes to Oxford, G$. You might as well be chained to a drain pipe in Jim's basement while wearing an Ohio ball gag.

Nate said...

"But you can win at the D1 level and not be a scum sucking turd in the process."

Not true. Being the best in college football means being the best at covering up your tracks.

I guarantee every big time coach gets tipped off every now and then just like Cicero did to Tressel.

The only difference is JT was dumb enough to respond in writing whereas any coach actually good at cheating knows to simply ignore the email or take himself off of email altogether.

GMoney said...

Define "the right way" and tell me if anyone actually fits that mold while winning. I doubt it.

Is it really "selling your soul" to root for a pipe dream and give a guy who was burned by thugs and street toughs a second chance? Someone who has worked there before. It's not like we're trying to coax is a true shithead like Barry Switzer off the ranch.

As said multiple times, it probably won't happen but someone mentioned it and it makes a lot of sense to me.

Jeff said...

Lou Holtz committed NCAA violations.

Anonymous said...

G$....I'm sure that Iceman can pick you up the chain and ball gag on his next Walmart trip.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Tressel is a liar and I have LOL'd hard at his ass but you can't say that he's a bad guy. I am hoping that he has learned his lesson and is itching to coach again. That's all. If he wants to coach in a land of familiarity, hey, I know a great place to do it that offers unlimited tailGREATs and sexy coeds.

Anonymous said...

I'd join you at an Oxford TailGREAT for some good live Tressel-ball.

--Drew

Brady said...

I think Tress at Miami would be an amazing fit. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

I think all of those suspensions and penalties should be revoked if you go coach in the MAC.

Anonymous said...

Iceman had cheered foe a guy with Parkinsons, Hoke, and Rich Rod. Probably fightin' Gary Moeller too. He clearly has room to judge.

Ide

GMoney said...

Drooler, I may take you up on that but I'm not sure if your Brohio tailgating profile makes you worthy of a tailGREAT.

Cakes, don't you besmirch the MAC. We had as many BCS Bowl teams as the Big Ten last year!

The Iceman said...

G$ on Team Cakes.

Anonymous said...

Great topic on the day of the Cavs season opener... You should have been talking about whether the cavs are gonna get the 6 or 7 seed in the playoffs this year.

Seal

GMoney said...

NBA Preview is tomorrow, bitch. Better late than never. Beat Brooklyn!

I'm going to pretend that Iceman didn't just say that otherwise he's going to be drinking his next semen cocktail through a straw.

Anonymous said...

It was a bad spot. Urban's young defensive guys are playing their hardest to stop the opponent & impress the coaches. We could have won by 80 if Urban was really running it up. When exactly should Ohio State stop trying? Is it then classier to give up? Escort the opposition into the end zone? Play with 9 or 10 guys? I am so sick & tired of the absurdity of the notion that coaches should throw in the towel when they have the game in hand? Should the coach then let psu score a few tds so the kids don't feel bad? I never hear anyone criticize Oregon, FSU, Baylor, or bama running up the score. Ohio State has already been moved down in the polls even though they have not lost & are beating their opponents by over 30 pts a game. Big Ten football is NOT 4th grade field day. Everyone doesn't get a ribbon, plaque, or trophy.

Go Bucks!!

Buke