|Well why the fuck not, COMRADE?|
The fans are the ones being punished. Ohio Buckeye fans had to pay regular prices to watch the back-ups to the back-ups obliterate Rosa Parks University on Saturday. And that blows. No one wants to see that garbage. Uh oh, here comes the whining about how those big meanies from Vandy dropped us a few years ago and we couldn’t find anyone else. Save it. You’re full of shit. I’m not even blaming you anyway. Why do you always have to get so defensive? This has happened everywhere over the first month of the season. That’s why I would like to see all of the conference commissioners getting together and hammering out the schedules for their league members. No more 8 game home schedules. No more FCS garbage games for ANYONE. If you can’t get bowl eligible without FCS freebies then that’s your fault. Let’s get Alabama to leave the deep South for once. STOP LETTING THE SCHOOLS SET THEIR OWN SCHEDULES.
I still suck at picking spreads this year so the only way to rectify that is to throw more money at the problem, right? For the record, I took some heat for missing my Glory Hole last week and it is TOTES not my fault. Blame Tommy Tuberville and his pussified play calling. They should have won that game by 50. Ape is going to get to us later and I agree with him…KEEP THE FAITH like Bon Jovi. There are rumors floating around the backrooms and dive bars in Oxford, that Don’t Treadwell was told after the game Saturday that he will be fired. Lame duck horrible coach = money in the bank!
South Carolina -6.5 @ Central Florida – UCF burned me two weeks ago by walking out of Penn State’s RapeDome with a victory. I don’t care. A top ten SEC team with the possible #1 pick in the Draft going to a C-USA school and I don’t even have to give a touchdown? Sign me the fuck up.
Oklahoma -3.5 vs. Notre Dame – People aren’t talking about how the Sooners are actually pretty good this year. I credit Jim Ross. They didn’t forget about what the Irish did in their stadium last year. They get revenge tomorrow.
Arizona State -5.5 vs. USC – Lane Kiffin on the road? LOL!
Purdue +3.5 vs. Northern Illinois – I fully expect the Huskies to win but they always seem to beat the Big Ten schools on a last second field goal so I’ll take those points. Purdue is just biding their time until they beat Ohio anyway.
MAC Glory Hole of the Week (now 1-2…BOOOOO!): Ball State -2.5 vs. Toledo – It’s seeming more and more likely that Matt Campbell was not a very good hire to replace Tim Beckman in the (gl)Ass City. Ball State is legit. I think I heard that UT’s QB got hurt last week. That might not be true. Whatever, I’m rolling with the school that shares the same city as Jerry Grgich’s timeshare.
Arizona +1 @ Tampa Bay – Mike Glennon is giving points? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Remember the Don Draper flashbacks where he is all gomer-y and working in the whorehouse. Glennon looks like flashback kid Draper. Not a compliment. The Honey Badger scores this week.
Chicago +2.5 @ Detroit – The Bears are good. The Lions are still a question mark to me. I’ll take them points since the Bears are the team that should be favored.
Houston +2.5 vs. Seattle – My upset special of the week (so you know that it won’t happen now!). Texans over Cockbags. Mr. Ace, give us your Hammers of the Week (Now at a robust 3-5! Nothing but the finest advice and analysis here, BRAHS!):
Yeah...last week didn't go well #Can'tGetRight. Bad beat with ULL and Brain Hoyer happened. But Leggo!
NCAA: I am going back to the safest bet in the book, bet against Miami(OH). Illinois is favored by 24.5. Cincy beat Miami(OH) by 14. Illinois beat Cincy 45-17. Illinois is coming off a bye. Miami is DEAD. Take Illinois -24.5. (ed. – Agreed…don’t doubt how bad we are; we are worse than you could possibly imagine)
NFL: Philadelphia vs. Denver OVER 57.5. I can't bring myself to bet against Philly, but I will definitely bet against their defense. Don't let that performance against the Chiefs fool you, Peyton Manning is going to TORCH the Eagles. Both of these teams play fast, so each team is going to get some extra possessions. I don't know if the altitude will make a difference, but I can see these defenses, especially the Eagles, getting worn down if the Eagles can manage to keep it close. Broncos are putting up at least 41. The Eagles can get to 20.
Moneyline: In the NFL I like the Chargers +120 to beat the Cowboys. Always love a home dog in the NFL.
In NCAA I like Tulane +390 against UL Monroe. Big odds here as Tulane is a 14 point dog. Tulane beat a better La Tech team on the road two weeks ago. And against Cuse they had two punts blocked, two field goals blocked, and muffed a punt return. Tulane isn't going to make those mistakes again. I like LSU +130 as well.
I NEED MONEY!!!
That will do it for this week. Stay tuned for Monday’s post when we celebrate the Indians failing, a Badgers victory, and my 33rd birfday. Weeeeeeee!!!