Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Let's Try This Again

Relevant
Iceman sort of stole my thunder (and sunshine…count it) yesterday when he made mention of the Ohio Buckeye QB “controversy”. I held off on my opinion because I still intended to write this anyway. Don’t worry, it’s not just a re-hash of what was said in the comments yesterday. For what it’s worth, if Miller can play, he plays. Period. I’m not one to agree with the Fuckeyes often but I’ll make an exception this time around for the sake of common sense. 5 is better than 13. 13 is good, but 5 has shown to be ELITE at times. These are FACTs.

One of the great things about running a terrific corner of the internet is that my opinions and thoughts are more important than yours. If this sounds arrogant it is because it’s true. I have the power and am way better looking than the rest. I don’t make up the rules, I just follow them. Why am I mentioning the obvious? Well, when I am right about something (happens a lot), I like to beat you all over the head with it until you recognize who the superior man is. Do you see where I’m going with this yet?

We all remember my tremendous investigative expose from a few weeks back chronicling the gaping pussy of Braxton Miller. It was a wonderful piece of journalism. My goal through it all was just to get the Ohio fans to admit that their stud QB was, in fact, a pussy. Other than Nate agreeing that Miller is soft, it turned into some backwoods hillbilly argument in which no one addressed the question at all and tried to answer questions that no one asked (a staple of Dut’s commenting). It was delightfully retarded. It was another easy win for G$. Where am I going with this again?

It was revealed on Monday that head coach and professional score runner-upper, Urban “King Buttfucker” Meyer, wanted Miller to play on Saturday against the Rattlers. The doctors cleared him. He was practicing all week. 5 likely wouldn’t have played more than a few series anyway, but going into your two toughest games of the season, it probably would have been preferred to get a little chemistry going against the all black school (except the punter!). Even though EVERYONE said that he was ready to go after his phantom slight knee sprain (remember how he hurt his knee when not touched below the neck…Wade tested; Wade approved), Miller declined. He sat out again stating that he wasn’t ready to go. Congratulations, Braxton, you are Derrick Rose and everyone respects your decision due to your extensive medical knowledge!

Again, your hero and boy toy told his coach that he didn’t want to play. What the hell are his teammates thinking about this act of cowardice?

He’s a pussy. This confirms it all. Still don’t believe me or want to believe the truth? If Urban didn’t agree that he is a gash then he wouldn’t have called him out on it on Monday. What’s the point of mentioning that he sat against doctors clearing him if you weren’t trying to send the message of “STOP BEING A PUSSY”. It’s the only explanation. Urb has had enough. If you can play, you play. This is why he doesn’t like to redshirt people. Apparently, Miller still hasn’t figured that out yet.

Let’s call his manhood into question for a minute: You always get minor injuries that most girls would shake off. Your replacement comes in and dominates. You are cleared to play. You don’t because apparently you know more than doctors. The momentum for Guiton to be the starter is gradually growing. When do you say, “Fuck this shit. I’m the GOAT. Get out of my way.”? In case he hasn’t noticed yet, he too is replaceable. Braxton Miller is a pussy. This is a goddamn FACT.

Why am I writing about this again, morons? What purpose does this serve, idiots? What am I trying to accomplish with this waste of a post, fucktards? It is just another friendly reminder that I was right all along and even the great Urban Meyer agrees. Braxton Miller is still soft. He is still a pussy. And so are all of you if can’t admit that. I’m giving you all ONE MORE CHANCE to right that wrong and come clean about #5. BOW DOWN.

52 comments:

Mr. Ace said...

ARE YOU SERIOUS? DID YOU NOT SEE WHEN HE GOT INJURED AGAINST SDSU? HIS KNEE GOT FUCKING SANGWICHED BETWEEN 13 PLAYERS AND ACTUALLY DETACHED ITSELF FROM HIS BODY. HE IS GOING TO BE BACK IN 3 WEEKS. FUCKING SOLDIER.

#FUCKEYE'D

I still disagree. Smooth Jazz is a better QB and I think my idea yesterday was about perfect. Give KG the start against Wiscy and see if he can maintain his success against a real defense. If he can, congrats you have your starter and still have Braxton as a weapon. If not, then Braxton comes in and reclaims his job. You can't start Braxton unless you are 100% confident he is mentally ready. He is feeble. If he struggles and gets the hook, he is done.

Anonymous said...

You haven't beaten this dead horse into the ground enough, are you planning on making chili?

Ide

MUDawgfan said...

Timmy Tens never missed a game because of injury.

Tougher mentality in the SEC I guess..

GMoney said...

Only if the chili has beans in it. Always right.

Here's the thing, my simian friend. Broxton Milner is a mental midget; a real vagina's vagina. He would bawl forever if he was not the starter. Guiton knows the drill. Thus you cater to the crybaby and avoid all of your manly players slipping on his tears while walking on the sideline.

If you don't like dead horse beatings, then stop just commenting about whatever is in the news cycle and let me get ahead of some topics. No one outside of stupid Fuckeye fans has mentioned that the kid was CLEARED TO PLAY AND SAID NO THANKS.

Jeff said...

Everyone acts like Bmill is a true frosh and has never played a complete game or played in a close one. Is the guy scared to get seriously injured? Absolutely. Dude is trying to get an NFL paycheck when it's all said and done. Call him soft or better yet selfish, he's looking out for himself first. Not the best attributes for a QB, but if he performs when he's ready nobody cares. Especially when you have the best backup in the nation.

Probably works out better when you hold yourself out instead of the coach holding you out.

See: Griffin, Robert III

Ape claimed that DE98 was the best QB in the B1G. Clearly his reasoning and opinions are valid.

GMoney said...

But he was ready and didn't perform. Soft? Selfish? Pussy? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Obviously, I played at a very high level of football so I have some expertise in this matter and had one of my braindead teammates been cleared by Trainer Nye and The Snizzity and said no, I would have been a little upset. Probably would have pissed on him in the shower LIKE A BOSS.

Jeff is close to admitting it. Everyone else get in line. Call him a pussy NOW!

Prime99 said...

I'm pretty sure the NFL frowns upon pussiness. He can't play for an NFL contract from the bench.

Are Wednesdays now dedicated to Milhouse?

The Iceman said...

You have my email, facebook and phone number, G$. All it would have taken was one request on any of those vehicles for me to not bring up Miller in yesterday's post. Unless I hear otherwise, I will assume that all things college football can be discussed on college football day. I know...silly for me to assume that.

"Dude is trying to get an NFL paycheck when it's all said and done"

Well this was dumb. Isn't that what pretty much every single college football player is doing? Most of those other guys trying to get an NFL paycheck play hurt. How are you protecting or improving your draft status by showing the nation you can't play or just won't play through injuries? Plus he can't throw. I seriously doubt Braxton Miller is on the radar of many NFL teams right now and he doesn't have much time left to change people's minds about who he is. I can't see anyone sitting there in a war room looking at film of Miller and saying, "Yep. This is our guy."

Anonymous said...

I guess I would care if Smooth Jazz wasn't also great, and we were playing close games. If he wants to be a gash, let him. When we start losing is when I start getting pissed off. This is such a non issue.

Embarrassment of riches is the right term. Braxton wants to do pilates instead of play football, go for it, we have another QB who is tits. If he wants to come out and go HAM on the Big Ten, then that is just as well. As long as we win, I don't care who is throwing the ball. I'm confident in both. Oh, and Miller has never lost to Wiscy.

Ide

GMoney said...

Jeff, you're sort of implying that Milner is going to go pro. If he doesn't want to play college ball (and it's OBVZ that he does not) then one would think that he is out the door after this year, right? Boy, that would be a hilarious mistake.

No big deal, Ice. It would be rude of me to hamstring you. You might miss 6 weeks of posting if I hamstring you.

Jeff said...

Yea, it's pretty dumb to protect your best asset (legs). Playing through injury doesn't not heal you. It lengthens the healing process. I'm sure those scouts were dying to get some film of him against Cal and FAMU.

I never said he was going to be the "guy" for some team in the league (then again you must've forgot that the "guys" your front office has picked in the past include the likes of Jamarcus Russell and Kevin Kolb). If he has any chance at making a roster he has to have fully healthy legs and apparently the combine is next week. Must be why you're freaking out.

Anonymous said...

Quick call out to APE for looking like an idiot last night on Facebook for blowing his load in the top of the 9th by saying #tribetears.

Eat Giambi's dick.

Seal

Jeff said...

He's not going pro, this year.

The Iceman said...

Let's not bring the inept Browns into this, Jeff. We all know they suck and Cakes is the only one here that blindly defends that team. And if you really want to go there...Browns > Steelers right now. And suck my balls.

If Miller has any chance to make a roster he also needs to show he's tough and can make it through a full year. Teams aren't going to waste a pick or a roster spot on marginal NFL talent that's injury prone.

Jeff said...

"Teams aren't going to waste a pick or a roster spot on marginal NFL talent that's injury prone."

Dumbest thing ever said.

The Iceman said...

""Teams aren't going to waste a pick or a roster spot on marginal NFL talent that's injury prone."

Dumbest thing ever said."

Because Jeff thinks that FACTS are dumb.

Anonymous said...

"Teams aren't going to waste a pick or a roster spot on marginal NFL talent that's injury prone."

TRENT RICHARDSON

Ide

Anonymous said...

G$ OBVZ didn't read the comments last time he addressed this, but I'll still play a bit.

The overreaction to Braxton here is amazing. The kid has basically been the starter since the middle of his Frosh year and this is the first time he's missed games (he's left a couple). I agree with G$ that URBZ wanted him to play a bit, so that is not cool that he still didn't have the confidence in his shit to get out there after being medically cleared. But, he gets better tests in practice than he would have against those shitheads as well.

I bet Braxton puts on a show on Saturday night.

Anyone that thinks Guiton is a better QB than Braxton is either trolling way too hard or just doesn't know anything about football.....probably someone that once called Tator Tot for Heisman.

--Drew

Brady said...

Why would Miller want to subject himself to a bunch of DII fuckwads diving at his knees when they are getting blown out by 50 points? Just because the doctor cleared him to play doesn't mean he was 100%. I don't blame him for not playing in that scrimmage. The Hesiman is out the window. It's all about winning a TITLE now. Whatever combination of QB play gets us to that ultimate goal is what's important.

I'm still on an adrenaline high from last nights baseball game. Giambi literally broke my twitter timeline. The iPad couldn't keep up with it after he LAUNCHED that ball deep into the night.

GMoney said...

Broxton may not be "the guy", DOCTOR Jeff, but is he a Dut Guy?

T-Rich is marginal NFL talent? Mike Lombardi said that he was the safest non-QB in that draft!

GMoney said...

But, he gets better tests in practice than he would have against those shitheads as well.

The actual dumbest thing ever said. Non-contact is always more realistic than contact. IDIOT.

Jeff said...

G$, If he keeps his stubble in check it definitely helps his chances.

Yep Iceman, that must be a FACT because no team has ever wasted a pick/taken a flier on someone who is injury prone/marginal talent (both debatable terms in their own right).

Go back to the kiddie table and prepare your Tuesday post about the highlights of Michigan's bye week.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ G$ for thinking that getting pressured by Noah Spence in practice is < having that high school team chase him around and occasionally tackle him. That game would have been 150-0 if starters played the whole game and were allowed to play normally (pass whenever).

--Drew

GMoney said...

I just can't figure out why you losers keep making excuses for this pussy. That's all you're doing. You are enabling a gash. Even Urban has stopped and is calling him out just like Your King (me). We're tired of it.

CALL HIM A PUSSY ALREADY AND I WILL LET THIS GO.

GMoney said...

You don't understand anything. Go back to the Chess Club, Screech. Maybe you should go to more practices. Being chased around and knowing that you aren't going to get breathed on is not even remotely the same as sambos trying to kill you on every play (even if it is unlikely).

Mr. Ace said...

Regarding my Indians trolling, I had absolutely no idea what happened other than it was bad because 20 ppl got on Facebook and got all emo. I regret nothing. The fact that you dolts are so pumped is cute.

Seriously, what G$ said. HE IS A GIANT FUCKING TWATFACE. Stop making excuses for him. He has a trackrecord for being huge twat. I don't get how u guys find this acceptable. I guarantee there were Fuckeyes out there Saturday that were just as injured as Brakton, but they aren't twats.

That's all. He's a great playmaker. Great weapon. I don't believe he is a better QB than Smooth Jazz. If the roles were reversed last year when Smooth Jazz had to come in and save the day, I don't think Braxton could have some it. Simple as that.

SOFTTTTTTT

Brady said...

FINE! He was being a pussy! There I said it. Doesn't change the fact that he is a talented and dynamic pussy when on the field.

Smooth Jazz is capable at coming in and lighting the scoreboard up. We'll see how Braxton handles the first few series and go from there.

Anonymous said...

Urbs hasn't even named the starter yet.

Its Brax or Kenny G at this point.

Point G$. Urbs is calling out Braxtons toughness.

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

Not one person here is making excuses. Sorry that we don't have a banner party calling him a pussy and all order t-shirts, and speak in all caps constantly, as is apparently the reaction you're looking for.

Him being a pussy doesn't put us in a bad position AT ALL. I don't give 2 fucks about Braxton as a person. I don't care about his pro stock, unless he is a Browns player. And I sure as fuck don't care if he goes out and Smooth Jazz takes over as if nothing ever happened and breaks records, as he is doing.

It would be like if your faggot QB went down and you put in Cousins. You probably wouldn't mind as long as you were winning. Granted, that would mean your defense would have to be better than FAMU's but, you know, baby steps.

Really, just give it a rest. You're taunting and teasing us about a player we don't need when we steamroll a team 76-0. That is the definition of fucking stupid. Meanwhile your qb can't string together a drive unless he is down 30 and the defense rather play Candy Crush than cover Leonard Hankerson. All because HE WAS A GODDAMNED MAN WHO KNEW NO FEAR.

Ide

GMoney said...

Poor Ide. Can't even handle any truth bombs. Give it a rest? LOLOLOLOL YOU ARE THE PUSSY. I'll remind you to "give it a rest" after every Steelers loss and every horrible turnover from DG98. Or basically after every comment that you make. Slopbox.

Thank you, Cakes, that is all I wanted. Just be honest with yourself. We don't tolerate lies and excuses around here.

Broxton Milner is less of a man than Dut. Yeah, I said it. He defines "Dut Guy".

The Iceman said...

Jesus Christ, Jeffery. There are what? 11 quarterbacks drafted roughly every year? And there are something like 130 or 140 Division I football teams? Unless you think Braxton Miller is at least the 11th best QB prospect in college football RIGHT NOW, the guy is going to have to prove to teams that he is worth taking a chance on. You don't talk teams into taking a chance on you by "saving yourself for an NFL pay day" or by putting a Hello Kitty band-aid on every last bump you get or by sitting out games you've been medically cleared for.

Let's put this in perspective for you Jefferey. Denard Robinson set Big 10 and national records at quarterback...mostly with his legs. And he ALWAYS played hurt. Braxton Miller isn't even close to setting records, outside of maybe school records, and has shown he doesn't play hurt. Denard was drafted in the 5th round as a RB/WR. Is Braxton Miller, at this stage in his college career, a better overall QB than Denard was? If you say yes to that then I really don't know what else to say.

What is both pathetic and hilarious is that if Braxton Miller was wearing Maize and Blue, Jeff and I would both agree with what I'm saying right now.

GMoney said...

And you keep making excuses. Give excuses a rest. "You are making a big deal about a guy not playing 76-0 didn't need him ten second queef."

AGAIN, NO I AM NOT. I am calling out a guy who was cleared to play, the coaches wanted him to play, and he said no because he didn't feel like it.

Just give it a rest already. Just give it a rest.

GMoney said...

Oh God yes, Ice, they would be all up in his ass if he played at Notre Dame and was sitting out games unnecessarily.

Tim Tenor never missed a game.

The Iceman said...

Ohio Buckeye fans are incapable of criticizing anything about the program. They're wired like neanderthal robots.

Anonymous said...

"AGAIN, NO I AM NOT. I am calling out a guy who was cleared to play, the coaches wanted him to play, and he said no because he didn't feel like it.

Just give it a rest already. Just give it a rest."

And NO ONE is arguing with you at all over this. Not one person is sticking up for his manliness or his toughness. NO ONE. Not even Cakes. That is why I'm saying give it a rest.

Someone did point out the difference between Braxton saying no and RG3 saying ok. That is probably irrelevant, somehow. Someone else said, it's FAMU, not worth going in there. And I said, who fucking cares if he comes back, Smooth Jazz will be just fine.

I'm having a hard time seeing where anyone is sticking up for the guy. I guess it bothers you that we haven't all joined in and went on twitter with BM5 IS A HASHTAGPUSSY! But, as my first comment stated, you are beating a dead horse.

Talk about how bad Smooth Jazz is if you want to troll us more effectively.

Ide

GMoney said...

RG3 has nothing to do with anything but that is typical that you would try to shoehorn in nonsense that isn't relevant to the post. Give your nonsense a rest already. Unless he and Broxton are "knee twins" which would be incredible. All black knees look a like.

If you're not sticking up for the guy (MIGHT be true but I doubt it) or making excuses for why it's no big deal (you are), then do the final thing and tell me that I was right all along.

Tell me I'm right. I always was right. That's the final step and then we can have all the rest that we want. Might even throw some Train on the ipod for ELITE rest.

Unrelated but still great: Brandon Dubinsky - "Marian Gaborik is an ELITE player with an ELITE shot." Double ELITE in one sentence? DUBI IS MY GUY!

The Iceman said...

ELITE ELITENESS?!?!?!

Jeff said...

OMG, Denard set all those records?!?!?!?! How did he do in the heisman voting? He surely won it, right? Probably a couple times. All those records, he must be the greatest!!! How can he not be the starting QB for the jaguars after all those records he set?

GMoney said...

Jeff, this is why I'm kind of on my own ELITE island today. I can't count on Iceman to have my back when he says that Denard has better QB skills than anyone. I was hoping that no one would notice that utter shittery. Bully for you for calling him out on that garbage.

That being said, Denard is the only "OW" in the NFL.

Brady said...

I have nothing left to say. Ohio State will win a title no matter who is under center.

G$'s MS Paint game is hitting unreachable levels.

BASEBALL POST TOMORROW!!!!

GMoney said...

Get out of my head!!! Yep, Mr. Baseball tomorrow.

The Iceman said...

You're clearly not getting what I'm saying, Jeffery. It's okay...I'll slow it down for you.

Denard was an average at best college passer but a highly decorated, ELITE runner/playmaker. The same assessment you guys are giving Miller minus the highly decorated part. Am I right so far? Did I lose you yet? So if Denard barely gets drafted and not even at the position he played in college, how are you expecting Miller to be drafted as a quarterback by any team at this point when there are roughly 130 different guys to choose from at that position? You see...because Miller hasn't had anything close to the statistical success that Denard had in college and isn't as tough as Denard was. Still there, buddy? I have the answer for you in case you're struggling, Jeffery.

Let me assist...You think that way because you have buckeye anal beads and use them often. Because if Braxton Miller played for any other school but your own you would agree with me.

GMoney said...

Braxton is a way better passer than Denard ever was. Probably because of his constantly tied shoes. Still not great, but way better than #16. Step off.

Mr. Ace said...

I love me some Denard....but Braxton is totes a better passer. Denard looked grear under RR because RR created mismatches in the passing game. We saw his true skills under Borges.

I don't know where Braxton will get drafted. I always thought of him as a poor man's TP, and I still think that's pretty accurate. Braxton looks like a 3-4 rounder to me... but maybe some ppl jump at his athleticism. I just can't see him transitioning to another position dragging around that gaping vagina.

Jeff said...

I'll slow it down for you, Iceman.

You are a M-O-R-O-N

Do you not see everyone else shooting holes through your dumb ass arguments?

Get some rest and try again tomorrow.

GMoney said...

His dragging labia will likely have a negative effect on his 40 time.

The Iceman said...

"Still not great,"

That's the key. I don't know of many teams in the NFL that will draft a QB who's knock is, "Not a great passer".

The Iceman said...

I guess you'll just get proven wrong again on draft day, Jeffery. I bet you were TOTES in the "Troy SMIFF would be regular starter in the NFL someday" camp. That sounds like a Jeff thing.

Anonymous said...

Tim Tenor was a 1st round pick with major throwing issues. Terrelle Pryor had as many, if not more, issues throwing the ball in college & the raiders were willing to use a 3rd round pick. I'm not saying that Braxton will be a good/great NFL qb, but to say that an NFL team won't draft someone that is not a great passer is ridiculous. Braxton still has potentially 25 more games to improve his throwing ability/draft stock. Everyone else forgive me for the following....
Iceman, you are better than this

Buke

The Iceman said...

And Heisman winning Troy SMIFF, a better passer than all of the mentioned QBs, was drafted in the 5th round.

This is a passing league. There is a spot for running QBs, but you still need to be able to spin the hog with accuracy. Braxton Miller is a Junior and has shown little improvement, if any, in the passing game. I just don't think teams will be interested in a guy who seems to be a run only threat that can't stay on the field. I don't think it's that ridiculous of a notion, Burke.

GMoney said...

If Mike Glennon is a starter in the league, Broxton Milner can. MIKE GLENNON IS FUCKING TERRIBLE.

Mr. Ace said...

Favre to the Bucs!