|LOL Colt McCoy!|
Anyway, today’s topic is pretty simple and shows the world how big of a whore you are. I’m still pretty pumped about Hard Knocks returning and watching the Bengals do the Oklahoma Drill gave me a massive throbber. Man, that is just good football. It’s no Bull In The Ring (A Hum-Dog favorite!) but it’s close. BITR is almost a guarantee that someone is getting concussed. I mentioned it yesterday and I want to say it again: James Harrison is an absolutely terrifying man. He seems like the kind of guy that would live in a prison block for fun. I would never even consider looking at that man out of fear and a strong desire to not soil myself.
Hey! Remember when old BradyCakes refrained from giving the Indians Twitter pep talks (that did not work) to tell us all that he could run a 4.4 40 yard dash or whatever the number actually was? That was funny. Having met the Fuckeye, I think that we can all agree that this would never happen even if he was running a 20 yard dash.
I mention these two things for a few reasons:
1. Brady is a pussy.
2. We need to start getting into football mode again (less than a month!).
3. Today’s post!
So here is the scenario: You are a ball carrier. You only have to rush the ball once. You are wearing full pads. You have no blockers. James Harrison is trying to tackle/maim you. He is also wearing full pads. You are wearing a blindfold. Needless to say, he IS going to kill you.
*Do you think that you could take the hit?
*To sweeten the deal, what is the minimum amount of money you would accept to agree to this scenario?
For me, I don’t think that I could take the hit because I never liked getting hit. That is why I played the OL instead of HB (I had that option!). The leverage game was more enjoyable to me than absorbing body blows from Neanderthals. My guess is that I wouldn’t move for at least ten minutes and call for a priest. But I would take the punishment for a thousand bucks because it would be a hell of a story to tell whenever I get out of that Harrison-inspired coma. Along those same lines, here are a few more scenarios and the amount I would accept to take them on:
Aroldis Chapman 107 mph fastball to the ribs = 5 grand
Dwight Howard elbow to the face = fuck that guy, I’ll charge him 20 million
Zdeno Chara billion mph slap shot to the chest = 30 grand
So let’s go, tough guys and Cakes, are you man enough to take a hit from voluntary Oz resident, James Harrison?