|No shirt. No shoes. No signature.|
In between Riley Cooper throwing watermelons at his teammates and A-Rod hilariously saying that he wants baseball to be rid of PEDs, word broke that Manziel was in hot water yet again. The immaculate beard of ESPN’s TJ Quinn was on TV talking about how the NCAA (who are so worthless that they might as well work for Miami Metro PD) is looking into accusations that Johnny was selling his autographs at some sort of memorabilia show or something. This is, OBVZ, a big no-no as Fuckeye fans have come to realize because you can’t make a dime off of your name if you want to play college sports. The legality and stupidity of that rule is irrelevant at this point. The FACT is that it IS a rule and everyone knows that you have to follow it. EVERYONE KNOWS THIS.
So the story is that Manziel’s assistant (LOL) informed some shady promoter that he was not signing for free. He is rumored to have accepted five figures for his appearance. And now we wait to see if the NCAA can finally nail this pimply-faced douche bag to the wall for constantly being a pimply-faced douche bag. They won’t though. They are too incompetent. I assume that this was a cash transaction and the NCAA will never be able to follow the trail. Oh! I also assume that 100% of this story is true because of course a 20 year old diva would sell his signature. From what we know about this guy, it makes perfect sense for him to pull something like this even though he has all the money that he needs. It isn’t like our old buddy, TP, selling trinkets to keep the heat on back in Jeanette, PA (also very LOL). This is just some rich kid acting like the rules don’t apply to him which he has done an ELITE job of doing over the past 2-3 years.
I mean, has there been a better example of Cartman’s “Whateva, I do what I want!” than EVERYTHING that Manziel has done since becoming a college football player? The only logical excuse for his behavior is that he is an asshole who thinks that he is better and smarter than everyone else. What other explanation could there possibly be? And the best part is that he is going to get away with it. Sumlin won’t suspend him because there is no fucking way that he will do that. The NCAA won’t find anything because, again, they are awful at their jobs and they only target black kids not named Newton. The university doesn’t care because they are in Texas AND The SEC and they only care about football. Mom and Pop Manziel clearly don’t give a shit about their boy except for on Saturdays during the season.
He’s going to walk and we all know this. Complaining about it is pointless. Manziel is going to be out there for week one running all over the place. Idiots like me will have mostly forgotten about his ELITE Summer of Trolling because we like to watch him play football. But let it be known that I will be rooting against the Aggies every week now for the foreseeable future (Roll Damn Tide???). God, this kid is such a bratty cock.
Speaking of football in Texas, it is official. On Sunday October 13th, I will be inside JerryWorld for the ELITE Sunday Night Football game featuring the hated Dallas Cowboys and the GOAT Washington Redskins. I could not be more pumped. I will be stabbed by at least 45 Mexicans. Here’s the thing: the Texas State Fair is going on in Dallas that week and it is apparently a really big deal (fried butter, yo!). If you know anything about football (not looking at you, Ohio Buckeye fans), that means that the Red River Rivalry takes place at The Cotton Bowl on 10/12. The wife wants to go to this game as well ( was not expecting this reaction from her). Oklahoma/Texas AND Skins/Boys on back-to-back days? HOLY SHIT THAT WOULD BE ELITE! The only problem is that watching football in Texas is expensive and exclusive as fuck. We spent well over two hundo on Cowboys tickets and the cheapest Cotton Bowl tickets are over $200 A PIECE (on StubHub as it is already sold out). So my question to all of you is…do any of you people know some sort of connection/ticket wizard/big OU or Texas fan that could maybe hook a brotha up? I tried calling Good ‘Ol Jim Ross but he didn’t know who I was. What about Drew’s buddy Haider! Any advice would be appreciated. If I’m going to do a weekend of Texas football, I want to do it right.