Friday, August 30, 2013

CFB Preview Week: The Champion

After Monday's shaky start, I think we can all agree that College Football Preview Week has once again been a success.  To finish things up, we will be crowning our LAST EVER BCS champions today.  Or as most of us think, who will win the douche off between King Buttfucker and Nicky SabeCakes!  Also, Mr. Ace's Ball-peen Hammer of the Week+ will show up at some point in the comments.  CROWN THEIR ASSES!

Li'l Strut: Ohio State 35, Georgia 27 . Georgia will win the SEC Title by beating Alabama, who will come into the SEC Title game after a relatively weak schedule compared to previous years. Ohio State will roll through the B1G and beat Nebraska in the B1G title game. This game will be a battle of offenses, pitting the Braxton Miller centric Buckeyes against Georgia’s two pronged attack led by Aaron Murray and Todd Gurley. In the end, OSU’s speedy pass rush and experienced secondary will provide the Buckeyes the late edge needed to raise the crystal ball.
EXTRA CREDIT HUGE UPSET!!! Ole Miss @ Alabama (9/28). Bama will overlook this game after starting the season with Virginia Tech and a revenge game against Texas A&M. Ole Miss has a lot of experience back on both sides of the ball and a rush defense that was in the top 25 last year. Match that up against the Tide’s inexperienced offensive line and you may have the season’s biggest upset.

Damman: Alabama 24, Ohio State 21. I haven’t mentioned my beloved Buckeyes yet…and you will all pay for it now! But seriously, look at their schedule. Who in the hell is going to beat this team? The only possible road blocks are at Northwestern, at Michigan and the B1G Championship Game. But they will be at least a touchdown favorite in those games. With Braxton coming into his own even more this year, growing with the wide receivers to have a passing game to go with the already lethal running game. Having said that, Alabama will be too much for the Bucks. After dropping a game to A&M early, Saban gets really pissed and they rip through the rest of the schedule before an epic title game.

Drew: The Ohio State Buckeyes 33, Alabama Crimson Tide 30. In a game that will be one of they most hyped to ever happen, these two storied programs will be undefeated and carrying two seasons worth of momentum into the game. The game will match the hype and the Buckeyes will win on a late 22 yd scramble into the end zone by Braxton. The Level of Mad that will come pouring out of the Michigan faithful will be glorious.

The Wig Master: Alabama over Ohio State. Not since 2004 (USC) has a team went AP preseason #1 to title. And 3 titles in a row seems to be absurd. But to pick any team over Bama would be considered a ‘Bold Prediction.’ Being in Buckeye country I appreciate the hype, but feel they may be better suited to take down the almighty “Speed Conference” next season. The following excerpt comes from an article breaking down the SEC and compares each team to an alcohol:

Alabama
If It Were an Alcohol, It Would Be… A Top-Shelf Open Bar at a Wedding
The Holy Grail. You have unlimited access to premium alcohol all evening, and the bartender on the left side of the room is feeling generous with his pours. Your biggest concern: Will they stop serving drinks during dinner? This is important, and you should take note of this early. Outside of this small bit of planning, it does not get any better.
Alabama over Ohio State…see you there.

EXTRA CREDIT HUGE UPSET!!! For the gambler in you, count on the following ‘big’ upset: Vandy over Georgia on Saturday, October 19 at Vanderbilt.
Enjoy the season, enjoy the weather, enjoy the last year of the BCS, and as always, enjoy full beer day, January 1, 2014.

GSaul: Alabama 35, Oregon 17. Nick Saban has the Tide rolling to their third BCS championship in as many years. The Ducks are favored by more than a touchdown in 11 of their 12 games, with the road trip to Stanford being the lone exception.
EXTRA CREDIT HUGE UPSET!!! Kent State knocks off LSU in Baton Rouge on September 14 behind the electrifying play of the Golden Flashes’ RB/KR Dri Archer.
He must have just watched my extra point make.

G$: Oregon 34, South Carolina 23.  I don't actually believe that this will happen but I'll be damned if I fall in line with the rest of you idiots.  But if for some insane reason this IS the BCS title game, you will never ever hear the end of it.  Remember how Drewser is a Simmons fudge-packer?  I do but I'm utilizing the Ewing Theory for Oregon this year.  Now that mental defective, Chip Kelly, is just waiting to get fired by the Eagles, Mark Fighting Hellfish (Hey funboys, get a room!) will lead the Ducks to the title.  And I base my prediction for who loses the national title game on which coach is photographed shirtless the most in the offseason.  Good job, Steve!
EXTRA CREDIT UPSET ALERT!!!  I like Cal to beat Northwestern and Northern Illinois to beat Iowa this weekend.  At least one of these will happen.

There you go.  College Football Preview Week is over and the season is officially underway.  Oh yeah, DIG IT!  As for gambling picks from me, I'm not big on wagering during week one but like I said the other day, WMU is up to 28.5 dogs at Sparty.  That's too damn much.  Enjoy the games this weekend and Iceman will be back on Tuesday to recap the action.  Go Buffalo!

23 comments:

Nate said...

G$,

That Heisman pick from yesterday isn't looking hot.

Nate said...

Heisman Watch:

Chuckie Keaton

31-40, 314 yds, 2 TD

15 carries, 85 yds, 1 TD

Anonymous said...

In a loss, Nate.

I will go with OSU over Stanford. I'm on board with that whole preseason champ not making it. So, I will go with the next best thing; a non SEC championship game.

Ide

GMoney said...

Nate, I would reply but I need a few comments off to get my breath back. I won't make excuses but you don't win or lose the award in a week one win.

How about that gambling advice yesterday? Minny got off to a horrendous start but covered with ease and Ole Miss bailed out Mr. Ape. I hope you made money with us. I DID. Ape is 1-0 on his hammers. Let's see if he can keep it up.

In another year or two, Ole Miss is going to be a legit title contender. Treadwell is an ELITE receiver and that Nkemdiche dude is a goddamn force...as true freshmen.

GMoney said...

Shirtless Steve Spurrier is the best coach ever.

Anonymous said...

That prediction of Tulsa over Oklahoma this year isn't looking too hot after last night.

Matt Millen was going a little overboard with his hype of those Ole Miss kids last night.

LOLZ @ anyone who thinks Urban Meyer will ever lose a game at OSU!

--Drew

GMoney said...

I know that this season has sucked but big props to Julie Chen for crushing Aaryn last night. "I'm from Texas" is the greatest excuse ever for being a racist.

GMoney said...

Drew, OBVZ Millen is the worst and I'm pissed that they broke up Tessitore and Gilmore, but that Treadwell kid is going to be SO good.

GMoney said...

Looks like Cakes went to the Falcoons dominating performance over Tulsa last night. Live report? MACtion!

By the way, GSaul, Dri Archer is in a walking boot after Kent only beat Liberty Center 17-10 last night. Fix yo upset!

Nate said...

Frosh cb for ole miss also a stud. Don't remember name.

Anonymous said...

Toby.

Ide

Anonymous said...

G$,

At least I picked an upset unlike many of my CFB colleagues.

This is all part of the plan. Archer is faking an injury so LSU does not game plan for him.

Looks like I need to change one of my bold predictions now too...but I stand by Seastrunk as a player to watch this year.

-GSaul

Mr. Ace said...

3 for 3 last night h mos!! Took G$'s advice on Minny, Ole Miss and Ole MissVandy OVER. Me likey.

This is scary but I am with G$ all the way. I think I am going to do a moneyline of the week type thing as well, and Cal was totes going to be my pick. I also like WMU with all those points. Sparty is going to grind itout because they have to. If WMU can just score a TD they are good. I bet they do better than that.

I also like Arkansas-10.5. Bert is notorious for running it up and he is going to want to make a statement in his first game. ULL isn't your typical cupcake but I just have a feeling Bert is going to blow their doors off.

Maybe this is the Homer in me, but I like Toledo +24. Toledo will score. There D will most likely be ass. Some books don't have the O/U posted, but I have seen it from 49 to 56. I don't fully trust Floridas offense, but they should move through Toledos D with ease. The OVER is the play. Both offenses will have a Ron of possessions.

FOOTBALL, FUCK YEAH!

Anonymous said...

Peter King is no longer going to use the word "Redskins" in his MMQB columns. LOLZ @ you G$! He got you good fucker!

--Drew

GMoney said...

Oh Peter, U MAD BRO? Now only if he would stop writing about coffee, haikus, Scott Pioli's balls, the Red Sox, and Hall of fame voting that NO ONE cares about.

I can't wait for Lamar Odom's death this weekend.

I don't like saying this but BG COULD make a BCS push this year. Yeah, winning at Miss St will be tough but holding a very good Tulsa offense to 7 points is a terrific start.

So, Ape, what is your ONE LOCK? Is it the over on UT/UF?

Mr. Ace said...

I like WMU, but I will let you have that glory. Ole Miss was obvs my lock. But Toledo/Florida OVER is where my money will be.

I anticipate my betting card looking like this:
UT/UF OVER 1 UNIT
WMU 2 UNITS
WISCY 1 UNIT
CAL MONEYLINE .5 UNITS
And then some MACtion parlay because I'm a sucker.

GMoney said...

Alright, I just locked in that OVER at 55.5. Don't fuck me, bro.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ape....remember when one of the best Toledo teams lost to the worst OSU team in the last 100 years? LOLZ!

I wonder if Grumpy doesn't like the name Redskins being used?

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Drouche bag is the worst.

Anonymous said...

Drew, I also remember that Toledo game. What a good time to remind people from Toledo that they are less than everyone else at everything.

Also, Grump hates the word redskin unless one of them does something significant in baseball.

Ide

Prime99 said...

Where the Redskin women at?!

GMoney said...

Drew sucks huge dicks. It's why he isn't on Facebook. Every pic of him has a penis in his mouth. but the penii have to be painted red.

Talking shit about a MAC team compared to your own is the most pathetic thing any dipshit could ever do.

Anonymous said...

Unless your Michigan and UT pushed your shit in.

Ide