Thursday, July 18, 2013

Welcome To The Haters Ball

^Jeff^
In case you were unaware, the weather in Ohio over the past week or so has been hotter than my ass in a Speedo. This makes sense since it is mid-July after all. The best part about this is that the air-conditioning in my office is currently down as we wait impatiently for a replacement for our 25 year old current unit that is spitting out 90 degree wind through the vents. My point is that I am miserable and not in the best of moods. I’m in a version of the alternate Happy Place where Shooter McGavin is making out with my deceased grandma and that is not cool, bro!

Since I have no other choice but to have hate on my brain, I figured today we could have a nice hate-filled day. No, we won’t be listing our most hated commenter (Drewser) but we will be ranking (there’s that lazy blogging style again) our most hated teams. I’ve been wanting to write this for a while but I find it hard to separate my top 3. So here is my Top Ten Most Hated Teams. There really aren’t any qualifiers or characteristics other than some sort of combo of dickhead players and douche bag fans.

You may notice that I did not list the Steelers in my top ten. This was not a mistake. They are probably #11. With recent history on my side, I just couldn’t rank them ahead of my #10 despite their inbred fans getting arm ink supporting the team. Go get yourself a Bud Light because “Here We Go” (terrible pun):

10. Seattle Seahawks – The last three times that the Skins have made the playoffs, the Sea Chickens have sent them home. Their entire team is on drugs. Richard Sherman is a cocksucker. Pete Carroll is a bigger cocksucker. They stole the TWELF Man gimmick from Johnny Football. And they are beloved by Kempton 22. I make a strong case against Seattle.

9. Marshall – This was a much bigger deal when I was in college and Byron Leftwich took so much joy in filleting my anus every year. I am pumped the rivalry is being renewed for the next two years. Herd fans still have not forgiven us for that ELITE 66-6 beating we threw on them. I still love the shit out of it. When I was a junior and they came to Yager Stadium, I was drunk driving to the TailGREAT, would slow down at every green-clad WE ARE hill-jack, yell at them “HEY! FUCK YOU!”, speed away as fast as the GA would allow, park about fifty feet from the people I just screamed at, and then high five my BRAHs. Good times. We lost that game by a lot.

8. USA Men’s Soccer – Soccer is the worst sport. I want it to die so badly here. I will forever root against them. They don’t play for me.

7. Notre Dame – You can’t have a list like this without these guys. Because, you know, the fathers are holy on Sunday but holy Hell every other day of week. LOL JOKEZ!

6. Detroit Tigers – We’ve been over this enough already. It doesn’t help that my favorite team has no chance of beating them. Plus, their fans act like they’ve already won the last five titles. They haven’t won dick but worthless AL Championship rings. Talk to any Tigers fan about the Tigers and you want to kill yourself within seconds. FACT.

5. Ohio University – Fuck these people who think that Athens is a beautiful place. This dump also produced Peter King and Jay Mariotti and probably Bin Laden. I’ll have to check on that last one.

4. Miami Heat – I just don’t understand how anyone could ever root for these guys. They have, by far, the greatest percentage of objectionable and unlikeable people on a roster in any sport ever.

3. Ohio Buckeyes – Only #3? Yeah, the top two have fan bases with zero decent people. I can admit that while 99% of Ohio fans are ham-fisted mongoloids who don’t know anything about sports outside of I-270 (especially when it comes to college football), there are a few who don’t eat all the shit that this school shovels at them. I still want to watch you all suffer though.

2. Dallas Cowboys – Mexico’s team is the worst. I hate all of their fans. I hate their owner. I hate their former players. I hate their current players. I will hate their future players. I want to see all of their cheerleaders sold into some weirdo sex slavery ring like in Taken. You can’t tell me that it isn’t great to watch these fuckers choke EVERY year. It makes life worth living. It really says a lot that if the Cowboys and Buckeyes were playing each other in “whatever”…ummm, let’s say Chinaman Checkers, I would side with Ohio.

1. Boston Red Sox – The worst fans on the planet with their pink jerseys, Jeff, horrible accents, and sponsorship of terrorist acts within our borders. When I was debating on who would be #1 on this list, all I had to do was think about how much I hated the Yankees for playing Sweet Caroline in the stadium after the Marathon Bombings. That’s why this is the greatest rivalry in sports, jerks, when it trumps dead American civilians. Fuck the Red Sox up the ass with a big rubber dick.

There we go. Some nice spewed hate on this Thursday. Search deep within yourself and let us all know who you hate and where they rank in the comments.

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel like we should have been given homework notice for such an important list.

6. Kentucky Basketball -- Biggest mouth-breathing fan base in all of sports.

5. Anaheim Ducks -- Just a terrible group of cocksuckers.

4. Green Bay Fudge Packers -- Awful fans. Worship Brett Favre. The worst.

3. Notre Dame Football -- Obvious reasons.

2. Indiana Hoosiers Basketball -- Terrible people and Crean Pie.

1. Michigan

Grumpy said...

Drew, sign your comments or just get a Google ID.

5. Anything Ohio.

4. Kentucky basketball.

3. Marshall (actually, the whole city of Huntington.)

2. Ohio U.

1. Cincinnati Bearcats-bandwagon football fans

Why would anyone get a Steeler tattoo?

GMoney said...

I really should be giving out assignments. Cakes would always get an INC.

Grump, no Ravens???

I demand at least one Browns fan put the Browns on their list.

MuDawgfan said...

Before I begin I have to ask, Who hates the Anaheim Mighty Ducks? As a Wings fans you would list the Ducks before the Avalanche? Or the Blackhawks?

I question your credibility sir!

Most hated:

5. Mets fans - "Hey Bobby, member that time we threw those batteries and John Rocka and called Chippah Jones a faggot?!?!?! Good times"

4. Steve Spurrier - Evil genius has to be on here. He'll beat you by 30 points, piss on you at the press conference and remind you about the loss for the next 20 years.

3. Boston College and Boston U hockey. Because Fuck you.

2. Georgia Tech Football. Never has a bigger group of shitheads done less and bragged louder.

1. The New Orleans Saints - cheating cheap shot cunts.

GMoney said...

Dawg taking Drewser to task! He must still love Claude Lemieux!

Anonymous said...

NY Yankees - I don't think its good for the sport when one team simply buys itself championships, despite the heavy penalties for doing so. I love seeing them fail.

Alabama Football - I'll hand it to Saban. He is a good coach, but it pains me to watch them have so many ELITE players when I know it is partly due to them oversigning every year. For every 4 recruiting classes most schools get, 'Bama gets 5. That is an opportunity to turn out 6-7 more ELITE prospects every 4 years. That all adds up and the NCAA/SEC needs to do something about it, because after these players sign, they are either being forced into JUCO or straight-up getting cut. This is the equivalent of the NY Yankees of NCAA Football.

Penn State - I hated them no more than the usual friendly rivalry, but after the sexual abuse scandal, I hope they lose every game for the next 5 years.

Miami Heat - See NY Yankees. Its only intensified with LeBron's "Decision" and him turning his back on his hometown.

That Team Up North - TTUN was tolerable for the tail end of the 7 game win streak OSU had, because TTUN was absolutely horrible. You knew going into every game that OSU was going to win convincingly. However, TTUN's win in 2011 reinvigorated my hatred. Here's to another 7+ game win streak in the rivalry.

GO BUCKS!

-Lil' Strut

Jeff said...

I thought I had all copies of the picture destroyed. Damn u!!

Hon. Mention: Cleveland Sports

5. Souf Carolina Shamecocks

4. Red Wings

3. Baltimore Ravens

2. New York Yankees

1. Michigan

Jeff said...

Did anyone hear the game Common Man played with Krenzel yesterday around around 5:30?

10 times Common Man gave Krenzel 2 names. One of the names was a teammate of Krenzel's at one point in his career and one was not. He had to guess the right one.

The only one he got wrong was DANIEL DYE!!!! Congrats on being unknown to Krenzel!!!!(apologies for the name usage)

GMoney said...

NY Yankees - I don't think its good for the sport when one team simply buys itself championships, despite the heavy penalties for doing so. I love seeing them fail.

Yes, because that strategy has worked so well over the last decade. We just keep racking up the titles. If anything, spending tons of money is a horrible way to run a franchise.

That's good hustle, Jeff. Circle K shits all over Daniel! He should have called in and ripped Mr. Molecular Genetics to shreds with some tasty racism.

Anonymous said...

Great topic. But really, the Ducks? That is just baffling.

10. PSU. JoePa got what he deserved. Fuck that old coot.

9. Miami Heat. All reasons should be obvious. Bonus points to Jon Hamm for cracking that ELITE balding joke on Lebron last night.

8. Red Sox/Yankees. Both are equally detestable and can equally get fucked. A terrorist bombing that series, preferably in Boston would be neat, if it wouldn't allow for more Neil Diamond tributes. Maybe, he could be at said game. Terrible organizations.

7. Bengals. Just because every other year I have to hear about how much better they are than the Browns. I take solace in the fact that they are destined to be first round losers at best every year. That is their talent cap: first round. Browns, however, can win it all.

6. Cowboys. They'd be higher if they were better, but to be truthful, I actually love the Cowboys now. They are so doomed to failure, that it tickles me pink to watch them every year. Watching Romo cough up more clutch INT's in the waning minutes of close games highlight almost every week for me. LOLZ

5. Soccer. ESPN, stop trying to make soccer a thing, it fucking sucks.

4. Lakers. Fuck off Kobe. Magic has AIDS. Still salty about Big Shot Bob over the Kings. Yeah, I rooted for C Webb to do something.

3. Penguins. I respect the mullets of the 90's but their fans still act entitled as all hell. They are worse than Red Wings fans and CBJ barely plays them (until this year!!!).

2. Michigan. Elitist rant incoming! Look, I am glad they are steeped in tradition and can be competitive. I think it's great for any rivalry to have really good teams involved. Now, let's talk about the fans. I separate them into two categories, with the most disagreeable pertaining to the people here. Let's begin!

First, there are the students/alumni. Great people. I respect them as much as I hate them, but let's face it, Michigan is a better school than OSU. Note that I said school and not team. I truly respect those that can get in, and they have every right to cheer for UM and be obnoxious assholes about it. Good on them. Which leads me to...

The rest of those fucking scumbags. Look, you didn't get in, or you didn't try to (benefit of the doubt), so stop rabidly cheering for them. UM alumni probably fucking hate you. You don't rep anything, YOU CANT EVEN GO THERE. Cheer all ou want, you look like a fucking asshole all the more to me. I don't brag about the greens on the country club I don't belong to, so stop bragging about the school you never went to or could go to. This dynamic certainly pertains to every school, but seeing as how OSU enrolls everyone with a pulse, the ratio of mouthbreathers to UM alum GREATLY outnumbers the OSU ratio. Get fucked UM fans.

1. Steelers. Sorry, somehow I am the first one to post this, and it's not right. Their fans are the fucking worst. Grump is tolerable here, but fawns over Steeler tricked out minivans on facebook, and that is NOT OK.

Ide

Nate said...

Fans of teams only bother me if they're fair-weather or just along for the ride...

Jordan-Era Bulls

Aikman/Smith/Irvin-Era Cowboys

Early 2000's Miami Canes

Yankees fans since acquiring Babe Ruth



GMoney said...

LOL Ide watched the ESPYs!

I disagree with that elitist attitude. Not everyone goes to college. Are they supposed to not like college athletics then? As long as you've loved your team since your childhood, I don't see how higher education or lack there of should change anything. I didn't play in the NFL or am a season ticket holder but I still love my racist team.

Daniel said...

I am thinking about sending an email to 97.1 to express my extreme disappointment in Craig. Does anyone want to do the honors and draft it up for me? I would call, but as many of you saw at Little Strut's wedding, I hate public speaking. I would probably need to black out at work before hand, which I don't think is a very viable option.

Anonymous said...

Didn't watch the Espys, but that clip made the rounds.

My elitist rant definitely comes from UM fans. Let's face it, no other school has such high academic standards and great athletics that people cling to. Duke basketball comes to mind, and trust that those fans are just as bad (only half the time, since their football team is the least), but no one has the numbers that UM does. Blame the Walmart Wolverines for bringing down the once prestigious reputation of a Michigan Man.

Also, fuck Brady Hoke.

Parkinsons Carr should still be coaching.

Ide

Jeff said...

There's plenty of WT in Columbus and Trashlander inbreeds in Michigan that are diehards of the respective schools. This argument goes both ways and both fan bases hate eachother for a lot of the same reasons which makes it a great rivalry.

Anonymous said...

The jealousy of Kentucky Basketball on this site is beautiful.

10. Ohio University - any person that went to this college is a piece of shit. I hate their fans.

9. Kansas Basketball - Fuck Bill Self

8. Michigan anything - Im not even a die hard OSU fan, and I hate everything about that state and their fans.

7. Sergio Garcia - he isnt a team, but I gladly root against this fuck any chance I get.

6. Florida Gator anything - the only thing this school is good for is producing hot skeezy sluts.

5. Indiana Basketball

4. Baltimore Ravens - Ray Lewis murdered someone.

3. Duke - Coach K and Christian Laetner.

2. Detroit Tigers - Drew and Dut have made me despise this team. Every year, the most underachieving team in baseball.

1. Steelers - easiest number 1 choice ever. Worst fans in the history of sports.

Seal

GMoney said...

Ohio University - any person that went to this college is a piece of shit.

Flawless logic.

If we're going to whine about WalMart Wolverines, let's out the true champions of the "largest asshole fanbases who did not go to school there"...

Notre Dame and USC. No one else is even close.

The Iceman said...

Ide has never played a professional sport. So by his high standards he has set...he's not allowed to cheer for any professional team. Take away all of his Browns gear starting today.

Seriously...what a fucking stupid thing to say. I applied for Michigan and didn't get accepted. Not because I didn't have good grades (graduated high school with a 3.5) and not because I didn't do well on the ACT (26...maybe 27. It's been awhile and that number is foggy) but because I wasn't a Michigan resident. Getting into Michigan as an out of state resident is really hard to do. At least it was when I graduated high school. A classmate of mine with a 3.8 was even rejected from UM.

I found out later in life after meeting and friending a few people from the state of Michigan that they had friends from a Michigan high school with a lower GPA and ACT than I did in high school and were accepted to UM because they were in state students. So I'm not allowed to cheer for a team I've loved my whole life because the state of Michigan made it incredibly hard for Ohio residents to get accepted at the time of my college application?

This could be the dumbest thing ever posted on this site.

Anonymous said...

Oh, absolutely. ND especially. Surprised I left them out. However, I feel that I knew a lot more of those cocksuckers when I was younger, rather than these days. And not enough can be said about Duke, and their ilk.

I mostly agree with everything said about OU and their alum. However, Al Bundy went there, so there is small reprieve.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Looking at most the reasons for the hatred on this day of hate, and it mostly comes down to fans. So, since we OSU folk hate UM fans, I thought I would clarify the hatred. Now, do I apply the same standards to professional sports, no, don't be retarded. That't a terrible comparison to draw. Not matching a broader, if not the broadest standards to get into a school is much more acceptable to hate on then being the top .1% in an athletic activity that white people don't necessarily excel in.

Aside from the raper, Hines Wald, and maybe Plaxico, I really don't mind a lot of the Steelers. Their fans make them fucking insufferable. We crack WT jokes until the sun comes up on them. So comparing that hatred to those of UM fans, what is there to poke fun at and hate on, other than the obvious Michigan jokes? The fact you cheer for a school that clearly doesn't cheer for you. Burns a bit doesn't it, that you didn't get in? That's what hating your rivals is all about, laughing at their misfortunes as it relates to their love of their team. (exception is Steelers fans, I'd laugh if their moms were raped by baboons)

It is the Hater's Ball today, and today I feel like hating on Walmart Wolverines, and this is an easy target.

Ide

Anonymous said...

"exception is Steelers fans, I'd laugh if their moms were raped by baboons"

Awesome - and so true.

Seal

Brady said...

1. Steelers (All hilljacks and moonshine stills)

2. Michigan (Still living in the 90's.)

3. Tigers (WAY more Tigers fans on my social media sites than I remember knowing. WEIRD!)

4. Notre Dame (that NC game probably shuts them up for awhile)

5. Any team in soccer (self explanatory)

GMoney said...

I feel sorry for all the pussy in Hollywood...

Clippers close to signing Byron James Mullens.

The Iceman said...

Why wouldn't you apply the same standards to professional sports? The root of what you're saying that cheering for a college team you have zero affiliation with is stupid. So why wouldn't that same idea ring true in professional sports? You've never lived in Cleveland. You weren't born in Cleveland. So what business do you have cheering for the Browns? It's the same thing, shit bird.

And it doesn't burn at all that I didn't get in. It was disappointing, sure but I never resented them for it. Different schools have different standards for acceptance and I didn't meet Michigan's. So I just found a different school to party my dick off for 4 years.

Prime99 said...

I hate so many fan bases...

Boston is up there. I once heard a Boston fan right after winning the 2007 World Fucking Series say, "eh, not as good as 2004." Ugh. Go fuck yourselves and your pussy-ass attitude of "why wouldn't America cheer for the Bruins and Celtics- we got bombed!" Getting terrorized sucks but that doesn't give you sympathy in sports cheering.

Detroit- see everything Drew has ever posted and tweeted.

New York: see my terrorist rant about Boston. I cheered for Mark Grace in the 2001 World Series.

Green Bay- well, I guess I agree with Drew on this- Packers fans are beyond stupid. The ratio of Packers fans that have ever stepped foot in Wisconsin over Packers fans in total is a lot smaller than it should be. Not to mention the Favre love and ugly ass uniforms.

I saw a car driving around with stickers representing the Yankees, Celtics, and Packers. I'm certain this person is the son of Satan.

GMoney said...

If anything you should respect Michigan for their staunch anti-Iceman campaign. They saw his application and were all like LOL NO LET'S ACCEPT A FEW MORE CHINAMEN INSTEAD.

You cheer for Grace even though you know that he is a pretty terrible person. Jerk.

Prime99 said...

Babe Ruth was also a pretty terrible person and looked suspiciously like John Goodman.

Mr. Ace said...

I find that I root against people, not teams. I guess the exception to that is the Fuckeyes, but is solely based on their fanbase of truck drivers, rapists and cooler poopers. I suppose I root hard against all of the NFC East(especially Cowboys) and the Sparty's, but that's about it. I don't care enough about baseball, but I find it hilarious when the Tigers fail, mostly because of Dut.

I thought I would hate the Seahawks because of Carroll, but I fucking love that team. I used to dislike Jay Cutler, so I would root for him to fail. Now I find him hilarious so I don't mind if he is successful. I dislike rapists, so I root against the Steelers. I dislike gays, so I root against RG3 and Kerry Rhodes(I kid, but jokes).

As for the Walmart Wolverine thing...meh. I feel like Michigan fans follow the lead of the alumni and don't act like asshats. The same cannot be said for Fuckeyes.

AND THE WORLD CUP IS THE FUCKING GOAT! I don't pay attention to any other soccer shit, but every 4 summers I tune the fuck in and love that shit.

The Iceman said...

The best thing about soccer is when you're at a Mexican restaurant while a big soccer match is happening. 90% of the employees are huddled around the one TV they have in the joint. It's pretty hilarious to watch as long as my waiter isn't the one slacking. That, in my opinion, is the best way to tell an authentic Mexican joint from a fraudulent one.

Anonymous said...

MUDAWG....I don't hate the Avs right now because they have been irrelevant for so long. But, now with Roy at the helm....that hatred could come back in a fury. I'm actually looking forward to some new enemies with the Wings moving East.

Fuck the Ducks tho. Corey Perry is the worst.

LOLZ @ Slow Seal thinking people hate UK basketball because of jealousy. Shows how Slow he is.

--

Anonymous said...

Iceman, it's quite simple why I don't use the same rationale. Because the two aren't comparable. Pro teams represent the city/state/region. You should flock to them based on proximity (or, I guess, if you're related to a Yankee, or something). If you live in Columbus, that gives you a choice in Cincinnati and Cleveland.

Universities represent one thing: themselves. There are thousands of colleges nationwide, and dozens in the Toledo/Detroit area. Going to said University brings a sense of pride and a massive fucking price tag to say, "I get to cheer for this team". Does that make me a better fan than, say, Bill the police man who is dumber than a sack of shit? Not at all. But, considering we students/alum spend our lives/money through better and worse with them for many years, the emotional attachment is deeper and more relevant.

So with pro teams you have people defending their team for whatever reason it is they defend them. Location mostly. What do you call any Miami fan or Cowboys fan that you meet? Douchebags or bandwagons or worse, where you would never call any fan from Miami or Dallas, respectively, that, because they have every right to cheer for their shitty hate-worthy teams.

Apply that logic to an establishment such as a university. Why do you like it? Um, it's a really big, neat school that's closish to me and they play good sports, and I liked them since I was a kid, but I don't have really any affiliation with anything they represent.

So, what's the difference between a bandwagon pro fan and a non student/alum college fan?

UM keeping you off their books probably accounts for the rise in US News and Report and not coincidentally the decline in BGSU. Then again, Dut and Iceman occupying the same area at the same time tarnishes any reputation, regardless of level.

I stayed in Cleveland the summer of the All Star game there. For what that's worth.

Ide

GMoney said...

I hate Ape but he is 100% right on Catler. That guy is comeback player of the year. Love him.

No one should ever feel tied down to a team based on where their parents decided to live. That's stupid. And if you don't like a team/school by the time you hit high school (at the very latest--unless expansion team happens CARRY THE FLAG)then you can never claim them as your team. This is why there is no such thing as a true Miami Heat fan. Rules.

Mr. Ace said...

"But, considering we students/alum spend our lives/money through better and worse with them for many years, the emotional attachment is deeper and more relevant."

That is the dumbest shit ever. So how do we measure this deep emotional attachment? By how many things they break after the games? By how many Natty Ice's they chug pregame? We are talking about fucking sports teams, not debate teams. It's pretty fucking obvious the separation between sports(especially big college football) and the rest of an institution. Now if you want to talk about bragging about your teams graduation rate or APR then that is a different conversation(I do happen to take some pride in how Michigan players act and would rather not go all Saban/Urbz at UF for a title). There are no rules to fanatics.

Jeff said...

Going to school somewhere is just an arguing point for your fandom, not the only rule that applies.

I'm a die hard Buckeye fan. Went to games with my dad since I could walk. I got accepted there and chose Clemson instead. Weather and women were influential. So since I decided not to go to Ohio State when I had the chance I can no longer be a fan? Makes sense.

GMoney said...

The only thing that makes sense is that Ide is wrong and everyone hates him for being handicapped.

GMoney said...

SPOILER ALERT:

I'm not going to lie. I really, really like tomorrow's post.

Anonymous said...

I never said you can't be fans of a school you didn't go to. I just said it makes you look like an asshole.

It does.

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

Ide has been taking over the Fuckeye tardery in Drew's absence.

Prime99 said...

I missed when you guys became raging Cutler fans?

GMoney said...

That isn't a question. I probably never said it here but I have at KSK quite often recently. The Cat has been on fire ever since becoming a dad.

The Iceman said...

Ide. The root of your argument is affiliation to a team and the merits/reasons behind that affiliation. So yes...you CAN use that same logic for pro teams. And that's why it's a retarded thing to say.

I could give a good God damn why G$ is a Pigskins fan. Doesn't bother me at all that a guy who's lived his whole life in Ohio likes such a terrible team in DC. At some point while growing up he made the decision, as a kid, to follow a franchise that would some day have the first openly gay black QB. What you're saying is that he's an asshole for being a Pigskins fan and not a Browns or Bengals fan since he grew up in Ohio. I call him smart for not subjecting himself to such pain. Kids pick favorite teams for the dumbest fucking reasons when they're 9. It's why kids are stupid. But you can't seriously expect someone to completely ditch their affiliation with a pro team they have loved forever when they get to adulthood and realize they have no geographical proximity with that team. Or be pissed at them when they don't. And in the same manner, expect them to ditch their college team they grew up loving if they decided that warm weather and big titted loose women (Clemson) are more important than taking econ classes with the likes of mongoloids like you.

Sorry, Jeff. Turn in your Buckeye gear. Brady...you too. You didn't attend the school so you can't be a fan. Wait! You can be a fan...you're just an asshole for it.

What a fucking moron.

Anonymous said...

Again, not sure where you came up with where I said you can't be fans of any team you want, but reading words is OVERRATED.

I enjoy making fun of 98% of the UM fan base, because, like yourself, they can't get in. There is a reason that Walmart Wolverines is a thing. You can call me retarded all you want, but when the biggest internet theme regarding UM is based off the same ideology that I've expressed, you may start to see the point. Just google Walmart Wolverines and watch as they all take to the blogs to defend their fandom, much to the same effect you are. Then forget the fact that the website is hilarious, and your fan base is complete shit.

Haters gon hate on haters day.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Urban Dictionary is better at this than I am:

Walmart Wolverine

Toothless, overweight trailer park denizens who have found some small semblance of life purpose through an artificial affinity to the University of Michigan sports program, particularly football. Primarily high school dropouts and meth addicts, these miscreants come clad in bright blue and corn-colored costumes meant to advertise their allegiance to a school they've never attended nor seen beyond the parking lot trash bin they puked in on tailgate Saturday. Fond of denigrating other colleges for supposed inferior academics, the Walmart Wolverine is a rare example of the undereducated aping the customs of the snobbish "elite."

Yeah, he hates Michigan State, but don't worry, he's just a burger-flipping Walmart Wolverine with a GED from Costco.

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

For those keeping score at home, Ide is an expert on Michigan internet themes, emotional attachment, regional fanhood norms, non-regional fanhood disorders, the ESPY's, and COCKS IN HIS MOUTH/EARS/ASS. You are like the Malcolm Gladwell of this blog space.

Mr. Ace said...

Typical. Only an OSU alum would use Urban Dictionary as a reference. I bet your works cited pages were full of wikipedia links in college too. #WalmartWolverineElitism

GMoney said...

Ape OWNS!

The first openly gay black QB is Kordell Stewart...a TRUE Steeler (of male anus juice).

Anonymous said...

It's cute how bent out of shape you Walmart Wolverines get on Hater day. You could have spent the day bashing us OSU fans in your normal way, yet you take to adamantly defending yourself against trolling, internet memes, Urban Dictionary definitions. All of which are a thing and helped put your idiots at number 2 on my list! Steelers fans really are the least.

Today was billed as a hate filled day with the characteristics being "dickhead players and douche bag fans." I take Walmart Wolverines to task and they get their jimmies rustled. Granted, I'm logical and included every school in this hilarious stereotype, but you guys have really made a name for yourselves in douchebaggery. And now you're getting SO MAD 4 REALZ on Haters Day.

Like Trayvon, don't bring skittles to a gun fight.

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

Ah yes, the ol' "Holy fucking shit my argument was stupid and got destroyed...I was just joking, you guys. Look how mad I got you. HATERZ" excuse.

Go Rockets! Free Scooter!

Anonymous said...

HEY FAGGOTS, WE'RE CUMMING TOMORROW!

--Jimmy and John

Prime99 said...

Hey look! Jimmy is a REAL Michigan man!