Wednesday, July 17, 2013

This Is Going To Fail Miserably


Art Shell Ref...never forget
After yesterday’s TRANSCENDENT post about Johnny Manziel’s rapid descent into douche-baggery (and a rare moment where people agree and enjoy Iceman’s work), I figured that we would keep the ball rolling with college football talk today. It could be worse—I could break down the All Star Game. While the product on the field is abysmal, Jim Delany and the rest of the Big Ten continue to be pioneers for change and progression within the game. I will never understand how this conference makes any money at all from their network since no one watches it but that isn’t what today is about.
I honestly have no idea how I feel about player safety in football. It’s probably a good idea but I always come back to the notion that I don’t care if these guys get hurt. It sort of comes with the territory. If you decide to play football and progress beyond high school, there is a good chance that you will get injured at some point. It is a hot topic these days though. I would probably prefer better technology when it comes to equipment over completely changing the game itself. But then again, I AM A MAN.

What I’m talking about is the new NCAA rule in effect this year (throughout the country) that players will be ejected for dirty helmet-to-helmet hits. Now, there is sort of a due process here in which the replay official will have to confirm the ejection before it is official on the field. The Big Ten, however, has told their referees “when in doubt, throw them out”. People, this is not good. We might as well call this The William Gholston Rule since he is mos def why this is in place.

Have you ever watched a Big Ten game and thought to yourself “Wow, these stripes are doing a great job out there!”? Of course you haven’t because the officiating is terrible. It always has been even before the conference employed my boy, Art Shell Ref, and his massive casino debt. They can’t even correctly call pass interference and now Jim Delany wants these mental defectives to, on the fly, judge one player’s intent to maim? That doesn’t sit well with me and it shouldn’t for any of you either.

We all fondly remember JaDeveon Clowney’s boner-inducing hit on that shithead from WE ON in the Poop Bowl. The Big Ten would have likely ejected him (probably because of his skin color). For you Fuckeye fans, I think that this pussy rule will hurt guys like Ryan Shazier who hit like a fucking truck but have to be cautious because one wrong move could see him out of action. And that’s fucking wrong. Where does it end though? Are they going to start tossing guys on the punt return team when they blindside some shit heel who does not have his head on a swivel? He is a defenseless player after all and you only make that hit to hurt the guy (FACT). Hits to the head on QBs? Hines Wald crack back brocks? Can’t we just throw flags when we think that a hit is dirty instead of ejecting everyone? Or how about, I don’t know, suspending repeat offenders from the next game instead of making a rash decision in the heat of the goddamn moment!!!
Need a babysitter?
This might be an effective rule if I had any faith at all in the people enforcing it but I do not. Hell, I’ve seen more obvious replay booth fuck-ups than I can count so it isn’t like that system is fool proof. Mark my words, this is going to cost a Big Ten team at some point this year and it will cause a massive uproar among which ever mouth-breathing fanbase it effects. After all, when your most decorated referee has been the winner of the Jerry Sandusky Look-a-like Contest for the past decade, you know that this is doomed. As always, fuck Jim Delany and fuck the Big Ten. You’re already a terrible football conference. Good job making it harder on yourselves to not be a punch line to all the jokes.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

I could see this being an issue for some B1G schools, but not Ohio State since Urban Meyer has already proven it's impossible for him to lose as the head coach of The Ohio State University. Let me know when they start ejecting coaches...then we may have an issue. Until then, we are are just on too much higher of a level with Urbz at the helm for this to have an effect.

--Drew

GMoney said...

You are as terrible at commenting as the Big Ten is at football.

Anonymous said...

So, I get to work today after going to my normal breakfast joint and get my normal ham egg and cheese croissant. Guess what? They DIDN'T put the cheese on it. ham, egg, croissant. So, my jimmies are properly rustled today, and I read this, subsequently.

Helmet to helmets happen, fairly rarely, but yes, in a big game, if we lose Shazier to a "when in doubt" call, then it will be a big fucking deal. This is horseshit. I actually blame the NFL for this. Look, I get that negroes these days are hyper athletes compared to days of yore, however, they are stripping away every aspect of enjoyment football brings us.

We are hedging our bets and money on black people (sometimes white!) to make snap decisions on actions that happen at lightspeed in the matter of seconds. Unless you're James Harrison, helmet to helmet isn't exactly a focal point, it just happens. Ejecting people because of it is awful.

Ide

MuDawgfan said...

For bowl games and neutral site OOC matchups - absolutely nobody is going to want to use the B1G refs now.
That's not terribly important, but I just don't understand why the "When in doubt, toss them out" standard was made so public?

If I could go back in time and retroactively throw any dirty player out of any game - it would be Nick Fairley

Anonymous said...

Nick Fairley is the man.....had a great year last year.

Ide....this is a good thing. The most likely Buckeye to get the boot in a game is Christian Bryant. Vonn "Jesus Of The Blacks" Bell will then come in.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Don't get me started on how conferences have their own refs and schools get to use them for OOC home games. How the fuck is that even remotely fair? All of those assholes are biased.

GMoney said...

By the way, how great is that call of the one ref who seemingly does every game looking like the Tickle Monster???

Anonymous said...

I haven't read the rule, but hopefully it has a pretty clear definition of what the refs will be looking for. Hopefully it clearly states that it is illegal to lead with the crown of one's helmet rather and not illegal to lead with his face mask, as all the anti-concussion movements are teaching. Think of how many incidental helmet-to-helmet hits there are. Are we going to throw players out for all of them? Also, I would hope it would allow for an exception when an offensive player lowers his helmet at the last second. Think about this, a LB is playing the run and fills the hole quickly just as a big RB like Carlos Hyde is getting there. both are going to get low as they are taught and there may be incidental contact in the contest to see who can get lower. Hopefully they would not throw the LB out for doing what he was coached to do. I understand you don't want WR getting a helmet shot from a safety while going across the middle, but this rule could have more of an effect than was intended. Of course, the B1G would be too stubborn to change mid-course.

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

If they want to do this, that's fine, but they should not be making these rulings during the game. Let the league office levy punishments on Monday.

Mr. Ace said...

Safety needs to be addressed, especially in the college ranks(amateur athletes and all that). So we are going to have to deal with these rule changes for the next 5 years or so until they get it right. It will suck, but I am okay with it.

Immediate ejection is the best way to do this, at least from the start. It's immediate feedback in front of tens of thousands of people. That's going to have more of a changing effect then waiting until Monday to sort it out. It just will, and that's the ultimate goal of this rule.

It will suck and I don't have any faith in the Big Ten of NCAA to get it right this first year. But hopefully it will evolve and work over the next few.

GMoney said...

Anyone want to discuss the All Star Game?

*Tim McCarver should have spent the entire broadcast reciting Metallica lyrics. That was MAJOR LULZ.
*Mariano Rivera is the greatest.
*Jut trying to make a nice moment all about himself by sadly running out of the dugout to be the first to hug Mo was awful. Way to ruin the legend's final ASG, fagbait.
*Cano getting hurt is the perfect microcosm of the Yankees season.
*LOL Neil Diamond dancing in the infield. Go away, bro.

Grumpy said...

I played in a leather helmet and look at me.

GMoney said...

Fuck that. You just played with yourself while wearing one of those Hutch uniforms.

Prime99 said...

The All Star game was ridiculous (besides Mo- that was cool.)

The sketches of Cabrera being the most interesting MVP or whatever and Kevin James with David Wright was just awful. Buck and McCarver's reaction to both was wooden and accented the lameness.

The B1G should not do on the spot ejections. Not going to be good for anyone but Ohio losing a game because of the rule change would be LOLZ.

GMoney said...

Not going to be good for anyone but Ohio losing a game because of the rule change would be LOLZ.

I wasn't going to say this because we all know that URBZ WULL NEVAH LOOOOOOOSE but yes, it would be the best if they lost because their starting MLB got ejected on a bullshit call in the first quarter against NW and they couldn't stop the run after that.

By the way, MASSIVE DAP to Wil Muschamp for calling Ohio a bunch of cheating faggots. Snitches get stitches.

Anonymous said...

Muschamp's florida career will resemble that of ron zook's more than Urban. Following a legend is very difficult. Florida was a stepping stone for Coach Meyer & will be for muschamp as soon as mack brown gets canned.

Burke

The Iceman said...

Well if the Ohio Buckeyes are as loaded with talent as the the sloping foreheaders like Cakes constantly flaps his cunt about, then ejections shouldn't effect you guys.

I would be more worried about an Ohio Buckeye stabbing or shooting a guy on the field since it's a known fact that URBZ recruits murders.

The Iceman said...

On yeah...and there is a possible 2 openings in a higher stakes fantasy football league I'm in if anyone is interested. $200 entry. It's not gay PPR league so all of you fags would be dead money. Let me know if anyone is ready to take the training wheels off.

GMoney said...

I'm more concerned/excited about a rumored cummish change in the DFL. IMPEACH DUT!

The Iceman said...

If Dut is as good of a commissioner as he is a mini golf matchup player I can see why you would want to impeach him.

Anonymous said...

I bet the asshole will step down the day before the draft. Let's have the draft party with Hot N Ready's at his house while he is off doing another draft or being gay.

Ide

Nate said...

Keith Olbermann returning to ESPN. This should end well.

GMoney said...

Considering he was fired for being an asshole the first time and has only gotten worse, this should be delightful!

Anonymous said...

ESPN/ABC/Disney have banned him from talking about politics

Nate said...

Anybody that follows Keith Olbermann will be the first to tell you that any stipulations or ultimatums handed to him by his employers mean absolutely nothing.

Anonymous said...

This is true Nate. I just thought it was kinda funny that Disney put that in his contract. He is probably the most objectionable person to ever give political commentary. I'm hoping that he gets canned again. Bring back Larry Biel!!

Burke

Nate said...

As $ pointed out, including an all encompassing "Don't be an Asshole" clause probably would have been more effective.

Petsauce.

Mr. Ace said...

Olbs is my favey. Don't give away Glen Beck's distinction so quickly, Burke.

Where is the outrage on NCAA bailing on EA Sports?! FUCK YOU, O'BANNON.