Monday, July 29, 2013

His Judgment Cometh And That Right Soon

Oh man, imagine if this ends with that
I know that we all hate talking about steroids but until something else takes center stage among sports talk, then we will be forced to keep talking about it (unless you want to laugh at Johnny Football getting kicked out of a Texas frat party over the weekend probably because he was wearing a Timmy Tens Jets jersey LOL).  But from what I've been hearing, at some point this week, MLB will bring the thunder down on A-Rod.  If you thought that the A-Rod drama couldn't get any more insane, just wait because it is about to get a whole lot more bizarre.

As I've said many times before, I don't particularly care about PEDs.  If you take them and get away with it, good for you.  Bobby Heenan would be proud.  However, if you get caught, you sure as shit better fess up to it.  Scorching the earf is a horrible plan of attack and it is why everyone hates Ryan Braun and Lance Armstrong.  Apologizing now is too little, too late, fuckos. 

I'm not sure exactly what Bud Selig can do to Rodriguez.  You know that he would love to ban him for life.   I doubt that that can happen though.  The problem is that no matter what punishment is levied down on The Centaur, I'm not sure that it will do all that much to curb future steroid use.  I say that just based on cash money.  These guys clearly don't give a fuck about their legacy, the kiddies, or the integrity of the game.   You take steroids to get to the show and to get paid.  Period.  The Brewers still owe Ryan Braun, even after the 65 game suspension is up, over 100 million dollars.  And he is going to see every penny of that.  Melky Cabrera was popped in a free agent year last season and signed a 16 million dollar deal anyway over the winter.  So how exactly are they supposed to rid the game of PEDs when the only thing that you are actually taking away is the possibility of going into Cooperstown some day?

That's the tricky part.  These punishments handed down need to actually have teeth.  I wouldn't mind if he were banned for life but that's purely for selfish reasons.  We need to get out from that horrible contract anyway.  I heard Ron Darling on Mike Lupica's radio show yesterday morning (surprisingly not THAT bad because you don't have to look at his stupid rat face) and I thought that it was a great plan of attack and something that the union may be able to talk themselves into.

The suspensions remain the same with 50-100-lifetime ban.  I agree with this simply because you could fail one test by mistake.  Here's where it gets good though.  If you fail one time, your contract is semi-voided in that you have to play the next season at the league minimum.  Whoa!  THAT could stop this dead in its tracks.  I like this idea.  Do you think that Braun would have done 'roids if he was at risk to lose 25 million dollars?  Maybe he would have anyway, but that has some bite.

I've also been thinking about why we only care or are told to care about baseball players shooting up.  Redskins starting DE Jarvis Jenkins just got nailed over the weekend and will sit out the first four games along with OLB Rob Jackson (professional Tony Romo interceptor) who was already popped earlier this summer.  These are two very valuable contributors to my favorite team's defense.  Yet I don't care.  We'll figure it out.  The same can be said about Von Miller who is laughing about his suspension for failing a weed test.  Why do we not care about the cheaters in football but we do in baseball?  Sure, the media tells us that we should feel this way as football writers don't give a shit while baseball writers will forever have their heads up their asses.  Is it more than that though?  Do we just expect that big neanderthals are on something because we love bone-crunching hits more than we do the long ball? 

The simple answer is that baseball records actually mean something while no one cares about football records.  That is a FACT that can't be ignored.  But I'd love to hear some opinions on this.  One thing is certain, though, and that is if you thought that the Braun drama was fun (LOL Aaron Rodgers losing a friend and being in debt to a Twitter guy) then get ready for the ELITE roller coaster ride to Hell that The Centaur is about to take us on.  As always, discussion about anything is welcomed in the comments just in case no one wants to talk about PEDs again.  Be sure to show up tomorrow when hopefully Iceman has some ELITE tales from his bachelor party weekend.


Nate said...

Just caught up with a guy I had classes with at OSU that was also on the baseball team. The guy was drafted pretty high and had a decent shot at making the pro's.

I asked him why he never took up his first minor league assignment. He mentioned it was made pretty clear to him by his peers that he'd have to begin taking PED's if he wanted any hope in getting to the majors. The guy turned it down, wanting to live a clean life.

Either that, or he just sucked (which would make for a much less interesting story).

Anonymous said...

Gonna laugh so hard when the A-Fraud suspension gets handed down. It's huge LOLZ worthy just how stupid G$ looks for his worship of A-Fraud years ago...what a complete idiot. Not only is the man a cheater...he's a complete pussy douchebag too. LOLZ @ G$.


Grumpy said...

G$ is not an idiot because he admits he doesn't care about PED use. 2

GMoney said...

Dude WAS pretty terrific two years ago and I shoveled all the shit into my maw. Things change. Urban Meyer used to have integrity after all. Wait--bad example. He never had that.

Nate that seems like an incredibly broad brush stroke there that you were told but there probably is some TROOF to it. It's probably more likely that he had self doubt that he could make the show.

How about The Hokester signing up that #1 stud for the class of 2015? WHATCHA GONNA DO!

Jeff said...

G$, how about that ass kicking my fantasy team just put on yours (back into a share of the league lead)?? Remember when I was going to trade you Harper for Trashlander? LOLS at me! Thanks for not accepting!!!

Anonymous said...

Braun and injuries are slowing my team down. Fuck him.

Johnny Manziel is LOLS. His twitter fallout yesterday was just great. I hope he loses a lot thus year and gets trolled beyond all belief.


Brady said...

I return from the summer of Brady! Camping, golfing and bachelor partying are all solid activities to drink too much at.

I'm so fucking sick of PED talk. Either ban these players for life or open it up to everything. I'm kind of curious at just how souped up a human could get. Would he technically become a robot? Would his junk just completely fall off? So many questions...

WINDIANS! Swept the Rangers at home for the first time in 33 years. I'm starting to think that catching the Tigers is going to be pretty tough but that Wild Card is well within reach. Just keep winning series and one of those will be easily attainable at the end of the year.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure I'll take shit for this, but I am a big Pete Rose fan... so this definitely makes me bias on the lifetime ban decisions. If he is banned for life, these cheaters should definitely be banned for life.

Is it a one and done deal? Maybe. I would be ok with a 1 full season ban for first time offenders, and lifetime the second time caught.

Fuck Selig - Pete Rose should be in the hall.


GMoney said...

Jeff, it's damn shame that we didn't swap underachievers. Your shitty pitching staff dumping a 1.50-ish ERA on my was NOT COOL BRAH. Tony Cingrani is terrible. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Pete Rose is a shithead. Fuck him. BUT! His banning stopped gambling on the game so maybe Giamatti was on to something.

Prime99 said...

A-Rod suicide would be pretty phenomenal. Making him go camping with Cakes could be even funnier as a punishment.

I have become numb to the whole PED thing ever since Sammy Sosa was caught with a corked bat and it was obvious that he was the Eddie Guerrero of baseball. All of these players are cheaters and I don't care. Until MLB actually lays down the hammer, it's hard to care too much.

Mr. Ace said...

You have to go after their contracts. That's the only way it will happen. Lifetime bans aren't going to be handed out after 2 positive tests. I really like the idea of making them play at the league minimum. Then again, that might not stop some of the lesser known players from juicing to get a big contract.

Until a QB gets banned for PED's nobody will give a fuck about it in the NFL.

Manziel was handing out zingers yesterday on twitter and it was great. Solid character.

GMoney said...

Going camping with Cakes is way worse than death. That isn't marshmallow in your Smores.

GMoney said...

By the way, per disgusting fat body Peter King this morning, 8 Redskins have been popped for PEDs over the last three years. I still don't care. We do have to get better at cheating though.

Anonymous said...

Or at least get better while cheating. RGKnee will be the next to get popped. Book it.

I had that pretzel cheeseburger from Wendy's based on popular opinion here. It was pretty boss. Not greasy, however they did put equal parts beef and sauce on it.


GMoney said...

I mentioned it toward the end but how hilarious was Aaron Rodgers crying on camera about his buddy betraying his trust? WHAT A QUEER!

Mr. Ace said...

Aaron Rodgers loves the taste of Ryan Braun's cheese curds.

GMoney said...

Tigers trade for Jose Veras. All problems have been solved!

GMoney said...

Hey, CFB Preview Week contributors, Li'l Strut has already turned in his portion which means that he gets TOP BILLING this year. He is better than you.

The Iceman said...

There's not much to report from the bachelor party. I'll be sure to open up tomorrows post with bullet points of the weekend just for Ide/Stan.

Are the Indians out of it yet? Close, at least? If not...shouldn't be long now.

We got an early wedding gift Friday. Margaritaville margarita blender. Someone loves me. Now I just need the Sony sound bar and Dyson bladeless fan/heater and all my gifts are accounted for.

GMoney said...

Margaritaville maker, eh? So is Stan Marsh coming to your wedding or not?

The Iceman said...

The true identity of Stan has never been revealed to me. Probably a good thing.

Anonymous said...

21 comments at 1:15. Cool post.

You know nobody cares about PED's but then you post about it anyway. Then tell you readers to entertain themselves in the comments. Fucking brilliant.

I found you Twitter account. 95 followers, fuckstick? Kill Yourself.

-Your Biggest Stan

GMoney said...

Ice, you don't even get my reference. The kiddie games are down the street.

Stan, you know better than this. Don't make me out you. We'll get to 30 today which isn't bad for an "off" post.

Let's talk about Dexter for a minute:

This show is terrible. Please end. Boy, the rich kid killing the maid was about as subtle as a thousand mule kicks to the nuts. I can honestly say that the writing and acting in The Walking Dead is significantly better than on Dexter.

Mr. Ace said...

....son of a bitch

Mr. Ace said...


Anonymous said...

No one gives a flying fart about Michigan "football".

-Your Biggest Stan's Biggest Stan

GMoney said...

If A-Rod takes his medicine now and doesn't fight a suspension, he'll be suspended for the rest of this season and all of next season. That would mean A-Rod could return to the Yankees in 2015. The report indicates MLB wants to hear back from A-Rod on the matter by Monday.

This is apparently the offer on the table in lieu of a lifetime ban. Don't tell me that this isn't interesting, assbutts. Selfishly, I'd prefer my team to save 40+ million dollars.

Anonymous said...

It is no big deal. With vapid play calling, laughable QB and a defense that is as solid as an Iraqi submarine, you guys landing some hot shot child is as vital as Hoke's third bowl of breakfast pasta.

But at least you're going to a pro style offense with Gardner!


Mr. Ace said...


Nate said...

Forcier > Anybody not Forcier

Anonymous said...

Odds to win the 2013 heisman:

Braxton miller- 6-1
Devin gardner- 30-1

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Jose Vera... CHAMPIONSHIP! Sounds like Benoit will remain at closer. Vera, smyly, and rondon to fill the gap from our elite starters isn't so bad.

Congrats on the windians gaining 0 ground on the vastly superior tigers this weekend. We will put you out of your misery next week in that 4 game series at the prog.


Mr. Ace said...

2012 Heisman Johnny Manziel- 100:1 odds
2011 Heisman RG3- 15:1 odds
2010 Cammy Cam Juice- 100:1 odds


I am sure this debate will come up another time, but I do think Gardner will have a better season than Braxton. Braxton is still a poor mans TP.

Forcier forever and ever.

The Iceman said...

I may have to do something drastic tomorrow. Ace knows what I'm talking about.

GMoney said...

It's Veras, not Vera, you HUGE fan. Although you were probably hoping that the Tigers signed Vera Wang to match your purse.

Mr. Ace said...

You better handle this topic with dignity and respect.

Anonymous said...

Two things lacking in Iceman's being. I hope it's the baseball card post. We are long overdue for that.

But it is cute that you two whisper sweet nothings into each others ear. I bet you do it over a nice soy chai latte while you peruse



GMoney said...

I have no idea what these two anus gerbils are up to. I'm not scared because both of them lead the nation in being gashes nor am I all that interested. I've got my fingers crossed that it will be a massive Ohio/WE ON war in which the only survivor is me.

Or maybe he's writing a preview for the big alumni football game this Saturday!

Mr. Ace said...