|This guy provided Drew with nuclear warheads...and camels.|
Friend #1 -- Dave
Dave was one of my roommates for the three years we lived on 16th and is still one of my best friends. He's a lawyer now.
So, one late night Dave and I decided to go to La Bamba to get some food. On the walk back I still had some nachos left and Dave started talking some shit to me about my beer pong game. For some reason my natural reaction was to just dump all of my remaining nachos onto Dave's head. This resulted in Dave having to take a real drunk shower when we got back and for some reason I told him he should go next door to play some beer pong........nude. This idea sounds real good to Dave and next thing you know he's walking next door in nothing but his New Balances on demanding to play beer pong. Once the initial shock wore off he was granted some nude drunken beer pong games. This kicked off what was later termed the "Naked Dave" phase.....Dave routinely began walking around our three house stretch naked when he got shitfaced. I think the funniest time was one Sunday night when Dave had drank all day long down at OU and got driven back up to Columbus. Our neighbors would have people over every Sunday night to watch The Sopranos due to their stadium style seating. The Sopranos group watch would have plenty of our friends that were girls...and being Sunday night everyone was usually pretty sober due to school the next day. Well, the show is about to start and then all of a sudden shitfaced Naked Dave stumbles through the door and tries to take a seat on the couch next to some girls despite their horror. I believe he was kicked out that night and sent home.
The second thing about Dave was that he pissed his bed at least 200 times in college. This is no exaggeration. He went through three or four mattresses and would usually just end up sleeping on couch cushions and a blanket on his floor to try and save his mattress. We went up to Ann Arbor for the Michigan game one year and stayed with my buddies. We were drinking all night long and staying up through the night until Dave got real drunk and passed out. We warned them numerous times...he's gonna piss himself....you don't want him on the couch...he's gonna piss himself. They did not believe that this was going to happen until around 6a.m. we were looking at him passed out in a chair and could just watch his jeans getting darker and wet with his urine. They were believers then.
Friend #2 -- Haider
I wouldn't label Haider as a true friend as more of a true acquaintance. I don't remember how Haider entered our lives, but he entered it around our Junior years and he stayed. Haider wasn't an OSU student...but, he was a filthy rich Pakistani guy that routinely came over to our place to drink his face off. Haider was married to a local Columbus girl....her Dad was president of a big bank....and Haider enjoyed getting really, really drunk. Haider would tell stories about how his Dad is some Textile Kingpin in Pakistan and really high in their government too. He claimed to own a bunch of hotels in America as well. Haider drove ridiculous cars....would routinely take us out to dinners at places like Smith and Wollensky and pick up the bills of course...if I went somewhere to go to an OSU game then Haider would call a hotel and get me comp’d so I'd stay for free.....he'd also bring over the biggest bottles of Grey Goose you have ever seen EVERY single time he came over to party...and he would just leave the leftovers if there were any.
Haider definitely was a bit odd though. He had a bit of a temper and he would finish lots of statements with the word "fucking" in his Pakistani accent. So, he would say things like "We going to get fucked up on the Grey Goose focking".
Toward the end of our Senior years, people were getting jobs, Haider made a decent push to try and get me to work for him. The only problem...he really couldn't tell me what I'd be doing exactly and working for Haider just did not seem like a smart decision for the first real job after college. I stayed in contact with Haider for a year or two after college, but probably haven't spoken with him in seven years or so. One of my buddies did stay in contact with Haider and sat courtside with him in Miami at a Heat game this past year.
While this doesn't seem all that interesting of a story, I got a good update as to what Haider was up to the other day.........on the front page of the Columbus Dispatch.....Haider's been a bad boy....
G$ - THANKS, Drewser! Good topic...those unsavory characters that you hung around with in college! I've got one that I'll share in the comments later. And if anyone wants to tell stories from Big Strut's interesting wedding then go for that, too.