|ASSHOLE OF THE CENTURY|
Ryan Braun – Duh. I guess that his 100% innocence was not as 100% as he once thought. He receives nomination because he pulled a Lance One Nut and totally ruined that urine sample collector’s life even though that guy was right all along. I guarantee that he will never receive an apology from Big Brawn: Feminine Napkins (ELITE SNL parody commercial).
Buster Olney – I like Buster a lot but when you actually go on TV and say that Braun should apologize to the 2011 Arizona Diamondbacks team then you are a dipshit. What are they supposed to say anyway? I forgive you?
Matt Kemp – Of course he wants that 2011 MVP that he didn’t win. What a puss.
Alex Rodriguez – A-Rod was due to come off the DL on Monday but suffered some sort of quad strain over the weekend. His doctor revealed on Wednesday that there was absolutely NOTHING wrong with his quad. Terrific! He’s making up fake injuries while he waits for the ax to fall on his head. I’m predicting a full year. A-Rod apparently vows to fight the forthcoming suspension which will be hilarious. This entire situation/battle between Rodriguez and the Yankees is equal parts bizarre and LOLZ. What other company would prefer to pay someone 100 million dollars as long as they never saw him again?
Brandon Phillips – I’m not sure if you guys caught this, but Dat Dude has said recently that he was pissed that the Reds gave Joey Votto 200 million last year and he only received 75. He didn’t think it was necessary to re-sign Votto while he the first baseman still had 2 years left on his contract and he feels cheated by his deal.
Who is the Asshole of the Week? I’m giving it to Phillips (Tonya loves him and, you know, fuck her). You make 8 figures a year. Shut the fuck up. Votto makes more than you because he is better than you. Period. What kind of horrible teammate calls out the guy playing next to him on the field about his contract? That’s some big time pussy shit. That has NOTHING to do with BP. Make your choices in the comments. Not baseball-related but Johnny Football crying on SEC Media Day about how busy he’s been and how the travel has been a grind and then hopping a flight to the ESPYs is AotW worthy, for sure. See you all on Monday.
Almost forgot that this weekend is Iceman's bachelor party up at PIB. Let's hope that he gets alcohol poisoning!