Monday, June 10, 2013

RIP Windians Season

It's over.  It's all over.  Now you know me.  I despise the Detroit Tigers as much as their biggest hater does.  But I can accept joining forces with them this past week to end the Indians season before Father's Day.  Hey, now I finally understand the old adage "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"  It's funny because we can't!  Let's not pull any punches here: in six games this week at New York and Detroit, none were all that close.  I don't even know if Cleveland ever held a lead.  I know that they did not in The Bronx.

All of the positive energy and bandwagon jumping can finally stop.  It's not happening and you know it.  Let's list a few reasons why!

*are currently on an ELITE 11 game road losing streak...playoff teams do this ALL THE TIME!
*Mark Reynolds is back to being right-handed Adam Dunn
*Michael Bourn has been a bust so far
*remember the best bullpen in the league (which was never true), yeah, it still isn't
*your closer is having drugs mailed to his dog which is hilarious and sad
*you were really close to having a black-face FOURF of July hat which would have been the best
*the real problem is that you have no capable starting pitching

On that last point, Justin Masterson is a decent #3 on a good team.  He is NOT AN ACE and never will be.  No one that looks like Charlie Villanueva can never be respected.  ULOLdo is a disgrace.  Baseball Tonight showed on Friday night that he was stepping halfway to first on delivery this weekend which is a recipe for horrible pitching and a horrible injury.  It's a good thing that those coaches are working on correcting that.  Kazmir has always been terrible.  Kluber and McCallister aren't good either and they're starting to get hit now that teams have seen them more than once.  Carlos Carrasco is back, I see, which is great for people who love to watching bench clearing brawls!  This was a giant question mark going into the season and we can now officially deem it a big minus sign.

It isn't happening.  Today is your funeral, Windians. There's always next year.  A few other notes before Ide's final dragons recap of the year:
*Joe Blanton is the worst starting pitcher in the league.  I don't know how he keeps getting work.  He has always sucked.  He has NO stuff.
*But Jose Valverde is the actual worst pitcher in the league.  The Tigers still aren't going to win a title with him being responsible for the ninth inning.  You know this to be true.  I don't care how good Miggy is.  Yes, I saw Velveeta's goatee this week (half queso, half black beans).  I hate that lardo.
*The Yankees got beat by Jeremy Bonderman on Friday night.  I didn't even know he was still alive but there he was throwing a three hitter.
*Game 2 happened last night.  Spurs, bitches???

Just a quick one today.  I'm not sorry if you were expecting more.  It's always fun to point and laugh at a certain group of fans who let their guards down only to get crushed swiftly.  Enjoy the rest of your pointless 2013 season, Tribe fans.


Anonymous said...

#Windians! Their season is indeed over, which is hilarious. I don't feel bad for them either. Tigers will win the division by double digit games.

No way Valverde will still be on the roster by the playoffs.

That LeBron block was incredible.


The Iceman said...

Blowout, bitches.

Anonymous said...

I have a meeting at 11:15 so expect some earlier than expected dragon talk. Since this is and Indians post, you're welcome.

I should also point out that I am going for my 6th win in a row in fantasy baseball tying the longest streak in history, also set by me in 2011. Greatness chases greatness.

BIG UPS to Ace for going an astonishing 0-10. Keep reaching for the stars!


GMoney said...

Those records can't be accurate.

Velveeta shouldn't even be on the roaster now. They'd be better off with Todd Jones.

Is Iceman rooting for Dwyane Wade or just trolling Ape? Probably the former because he's a queerbate.

Jeff said...

Yeah, big ups to Ace. Thanks for being my slump buster!

Great hockey over the weekend. Cup final will be EPIC!

Anonymous said...

Drew - is your prediction of the Tigers winning the division by double digit games supposed to be a "bold prediction" or something? So glad you are back to sound like a dumb fuck again - you should obviouisly win the division by nearly 20 games considering your competition within the Central. You are worse than Velveeta.

A couple agrguements from a pertty realistic Tribe fan who enjoyed the good start but obviously never bought in that we were a playoff team:
Get the fuck out of here with your Bourn being a bust line - how is a guy hitting .302 a bust? If anything he is the only one that isnt terrible.
If someone is over rated, its Swisher.
Ill give you some of what you said on Masterson. He isnt a complete waste - but your number 1 needs to be more consistent than he has been.
Our bullpen blows ass.
I refuse to even talk about El Stinko. (Ubaldo)
I would also argue the no close games comment - when Velveeta comes in with a 4 run lead, and the Indians hit 3 HR's off him and have the tieing run at the plate, every Tiger fan was shitting their pants. He is so fucking bad. Nice job having faith in that guy Leyland.

No comment on Pieceofshitlander completely disrespcting Leyland this weekend? I loved that Leyland was super pissed and made a scene. Nice Ace.


Anonymous said...

***2 HR's

Ace said...

Iceman is acting very Stanish. But I do not feed trolls.

Ide, you do realize I am ONLY 24 games back, right? Nothing a little winning streak can't fix.

It kills me to say this, but Manu Ginobili has become awful. Just out of nowhere. Can't dribble, can't shoot, never could play D, still can pass a little, can't even flop right anymore. Offers nothing when he is on the floor. He sparked that Heat run on his own. Time for Danny Green to take that spot over

The Indians collapse surprises no one but Indians fanboys. Cleveland is worthless.

Prime99 said...

Don't worry, Ace, I bet your own personal power rankings have you second or third in the baseball league.

I can say I haven't watched one second of Windians baseball, so I can't pretend to know anything about them. Are Willy Mays Hayes and Jake Taylor hitting well this year? How Ed Harris as the #1 starter over Mastersen?

Blackhawks in the Cup final! Drew hates it, and that makes it extra awesome.

GMoney said...

Seal, I just assumed that Bourn was a bust because he was on the DL for three weeks with a scratch on his finger or something. You guys knew what Swish was when you signed him. These sort of hot/cold swings for him should not surprise anyone. He should absolutely NOT be your 4 hitter though. That is a huge mistake.

I did see Turdlander show up Drew's BFF on Friday night and make him look like a chach. I'm glad that Leyland finally finds him to be a cornball honky like the rest of us. NO ONE LIKES YOU, JUT!

For about the fourth week in a row, my fantasy team has torn it up at the plate M-Th and then done nothing over the weekend. It is infuriating. I just lost to a guy who starts Paul Maholm.

GMoney said...

Prime, that is the only time when the Indians can beat the Yankees.

Bruins in 6. Rask is too hot and Corey Crawford sucks.

Anonymous said...

G$ - I seriously laugh to other Tribe fans about Swisher being our 4 hitter.


GMoney said...

It sounds like your Indians friend buddies are as dumb as Iceman's Cavs friends.

Anonymous said...

Work to do. Busy day. BradyCakes is probably crying over the topic. Let's hop to the DRAGONS.

Well, it's not like they were going to top last week. But, I thought this week started off great and ended just awfully.

Picking up with the Red Wedding, they did what I didn't think they had the balls to do. Sew Grey Winds head on Robb's body. Yikes, that was just hard to watch, especially Arya seeing it, was just troublesome. But nice to bring the quota of chopped limbs and spilled intestines up to par.

Arya finally notched a kill on a grown up! No more childish threats! I could go every episode with the Hound and Arya roaming the forest killing people.

Sam Tarly got back to Cast...still don't fucking care. But Gilly is kinda hot. Summer (Bran's wolf) missed a big opportunity to eat Sam, Gilly, and that baby. Off script for sure, but a welcome change of pace.

I might be in the minority, but I liked Bran's story. The Reeds are cooler in the books, but I still enjoy them in the show, and I don't hate it when Bran is on the screen anymore. Also, Hodor.

Kings Landing. They didn't do shit all year at Kings Landing, but who cares? Those were some of the best acted scenes all year. Tywin gives zero fucks. Still father of the year material, and has a great way of mentally bitch slapping everyone in Westeros. Also, Joffrey needs a nap, LOLS.

LOL Sansa. I vow that if I have a daughter and she starts getting into Disney princesses and what not, like my nieces, I am sitting her down and making her watch GoT. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO PRINCESSES WHEN SHIT GETS REAL! Her sheep 'shift' prank was pretty neat though.

Later Theon. Hello Reek! I'm not that far in the books, but from what I hear, Reek is in for a shitty time. Not that getting his dick chopped off was bad enough. This pleases me, because fuck Theon. Though grats to Ramsay Snow, who is going to be a huge character.

Jon Snow probably could have talked his way out of being shot with 13 arrows, but he's a faggot. Also, I love that Ygritte can chase down horses apparently. That was some swift hunting.

Really hard for me to say anything bad about Davos Seaworth. And I certainly won't start today, as much as his story didn't do much, I still enjoyed watching him attempt to read and free Gendry. I root for him to succeed, which means he will probably be brutally murdered in awfully graphic fashion.

Jamie/Brienne brought forth one of my big problems for this episode. They just weren't in it enough. I was really looking forward to them coming back to Kings Landing. Literally, 2 minutes and zero dialogue, and a sister fucking reunion. That shit could have waited until next season. They cut that scene short for my big complaint.

FUCK DANY. Seriously, we get it. She frees slaves. She has dragons, that do next to nothing. Do not end the season with 100000 slaves treating her like Jesus Christ. She already inspired us once this year, no need to draw it out. Even though it was a cool shit, I was pretty pissed off on how it ended. Her scene didn't need to be in there. And, foreshadowing, maybe spoiler, but freeing every goddamned slave ensures that none of those lazy bastards will farm and do work. Grats on mass starvation you twit. Be naked more and Harriet Tubman less. Her black assistant is still hot though.

Overall, it was a great season with stupidly incredible scenes. Damn you, Red Wedding. And while I will probably have the rest of the books knocked out by the time next season rolls around, that fat fuck author better give more reading material before the show catches up!


Anonymous said...

I waited as long as I could to buy into the Tribe but I got caught up in it after Gomess' walk off HR a few weeks ago. The Tribe record since I bought in? 4-15. That is ELITE hexing job by me.

Nothing really new to add. I would agree with Seal that Swisher has been a much bigger has been a much bigger bust than Bourn. Swisher has been awful.

I'm going to reward the Tribe's awful play with being in attendance on Friday night against the Nats. Seal, what say we get piss ass drunk and club Ubaldo on his way out of the stadium?


Anonymous said...

That was some awful grammar by me.

Brady said...

I REFUSE to give up with 100 games left in the season. The Tribe has indeed played one of the worst three-week stretches in recent memory but there is still hope. The division is absolute garbage and the Windians are one good week away from being right back in it.

Are they a world series team? Probably not but there is still hope that we can get back in the division race. The Tigers are far from ELITE this season. Let's see where we are after June.

The Iceman said...

I'm rooting for LeBron in order to troll Cavs fans. BIG difference. But if Wade can win another title in the process to stuff it in G$'s craw then that's just an added bonus.

Plus no one should ever root for the Spurs to win anything. There isn't a single likeable guy on that team outside of maybe Kawhi Leonard. Parker is a faggot. Duncan is top 5 biggest whiners in the league and Ginobili is a Eurotrash flopper. Which reminds me...this video is the greatest.

The Iceman said...

"Are they a world series team? Probably not."

You spelled "definitely" wrong.

Prime99 said...

"Are they a world series team? Probably not "

LULZ! Definitely not. Poor Indians fans... Have your soul crushed in April like my team does and you don't have to worry about thinking you are good.

Thrones was good for what it was- a set up episode for season 4. It's impossible to have such awesome episode 9's and expect episode 10 to top them.

Ide does a great recap. Not much to add besides awesome things (and winter) are coming.

GMoney said...

Yeah, you're wrong. Bran will always suck until he can walk like a normal person. Here's a fun fact for you: Girl Reed looks like a young Ellen May from Justified. She's probably addicted to oxy.

I am all in on Joffrey serving Robb's head to Sansa. That would be MAJOR LULZ. Tywin is indeed father of the century and also grandfather of the millenium.

I was TOTES rooting for Ramsay to eat Reek's dick. But sending it to his old man is equally great trolling.

Walder Frey aftermath was almost just as great as the Red Wedding with him having a bunch of fake conversations. What a terrific sociopath! Roos Bolton is still not one to be fucked with.

Agree that the final scene was awful and should not have been placed there. No one cares about slaves. That is why they are slaves...because no one cares about them. I'm glad that Dany was able to have her Mother Teresa/Abe Lincoln/Kunta Kinte moment but more murdering people, less humanitarian work.

Good season and I was prepared for a letdown finale which is what we got.

GMoney said...

But you SHOULD give up. You can't catch the Tigers and it is really simple: they have really good starting pitching (possibly the best in the league). You have possibly the worst rotation in the league. That alone will prevent you from going on any long winning streak while they will never go into a long drought. If you're thinking wild card then you need at least 90 wins which, again, is impossible for that staff.

5.5 games in June might as well be a million.

Iceman doesn't get me at all. I've written numerous times how I have pretty much given up on all of my burning hatred toward LeBron. I'm not rooting for him to keep winning, but it wasn't doing me any good to keep wishing horrible death on him. It would not bother me at all if HE won another title. It would piss me off if the other collection of stiffs and turds on that team got to call themselves champions.

I don't understand how you can hate the Spurs outside of Ginobili. Parker may be French but he is really good (best PG in the league?). Duncan is a stud. Pop gives hilarious interviews. I even like most of their non-Matt Bonner role players.

The Iceman said...

You may be the one Cavs fan that is indifferent about LeBron, G$. So I never intended to include you in that type of trolling. Most other Cavs fans, on the other hand, still allow that passionate hatred to resonate. And I want LeBron to be the most decorated player in NBA history just so those knobs have to be around to WITNESS it. See what I did there?

Duncan is a crybaby bitch. For all of the bashing we do on other players here (like Wade) when it comes to openly nagging the refs on every call, Duncan always seems to get a free pass from everyone even though he is a top 5 offender. Just watch how many times he scowls at the officials or bangs his forearm while lumbering back on defense. It's a lot and should be noted.

Parker is a rat looking motherfucker and cheated on his hot wife. We should all hate him for that regardless of what he does on the court. When you out kick your coverage when it comes to your spouse, you don't ball tap fate like that after serving you up such a solid.

The Iceman said...

And we get it Gregggggggggg. You don't like giving sideline interviews with LoudSuit Sager. But that's his job and he has to do it. So stop being such a disrespectful twat to a guy who will lose his job if he doesn't bother you for 45 seconds. I'm sure he hates talking to you just as much as you hate talking to anyone.

Ace said...

Wait, Iceman doesn't like Pop interviews? I don't think it gets much better in the NBA. Duncan gets a pass because he isn't a d bag who constantly draws attention to himself because all he cares about is winning. Tony Parker cheated on his wife with a hotter chick, props to him. Yes, Brent Barry married a woman hotter than Eva Longoria #NBAMoneyProblems

Ice is the Silky Johnson of haters on this blog.

Anonymous said...

I thought the GoT finale met my expectations. Like G$, I thought it would be a slight letdown like last season. A few interesting storylines to look forward to, though:

- Winter is coming - The fire goddess doing a 180 on Stanys Baratheon was quite the turn of events. He goes from planning an assault on King's Landing to gearing up for a war against dead people. Those will be some ELITE scenes if they get to it next season.

- Arya Stark - Arya turning into a vigilante across the countryside will be truly interesting. Making it more appealing is that it appears she may do it with the man who was once her arch-nemesis, the Hound.

- Tyrion Lannister is becoming the sentimental favorite along with Daenerys Targaryen. My question is, when will Daenerys actually cross the sea? It seems like the only progress she made since last season was liberating two cities. I want to see her start striking fear into Joffrey.

- Ramsey is going to get what's coming to him. Its one thing to torture a man in isolation under the protection of your father. It is entirely separate to start writing checks your butt can't cash by threatening an entire family. He is truly ELITE at trolling, though.

I can't wait for next season. But in the meantime, how many weeks until Boardwalk?

-Lil' Strut

Prime99 said...

Yara certainly changed her tune on Theon/Reek. What's that? His dick is cut off and it's impossible for him to try and rape me on horseback? Well, now I'll save him!

Ide, at the risk of throwing a spoilerish name out there, wouldn't it have made all the sense in the world to replace Dany's dumb scene with an introduction to Lady Stoneheart? Would've been a perfect bridge to Season 4. Oh well.

The Iceman said...

Listen. The first couple Popovich interviews where he was a salty bitch were mildly entertaining. But much like everything else in pop culture...the routine got old quick. It's not cute or funny anymore. It's disrespectful and annoying.

GMoney said...

Seal and I have proven to be extremely realist Cavs fans so stop trying to troll us here with your pro-Heat garbage. We aren't biting. We never have. Save it for those friends of yours who are clearly wineandgoldtards.

There is never any excuse for supporting Wade.

Don Kelly just hit another home run and his BA is still under .200.

Anonymous said...

Well, I was thinking Lady Stoneheart as well, but that would have been too soon. It will def make for an episode 4ish ending though.


GMoney said...

Not enough people mail penises anymore. That was a nice touch...especially so close to Father's Day. I heard that that was what Running Zack was getting Prime.

Prime99 said...

Zack will probably give me shit in my hand so a penis in the mail would be more appreciated.

Prime99 said...

Also, how did Theon's dad know for sure that was his son's man-bit? Was there a Krakken tattooed on the side? He shouldn't know that intimate detail of his son.