Monday, May 13, 2013

Football Coach Say What?

Hurry up, Zack, I've got a meeting with Gene Smiff in ten minutes.
I just realized that we haven't talked about college football for a while.  Why would we?  It's May.  But before we get into the crux of today's post, let's address the post from a few weeks ago where we discussed the Ohio football team getting 12-0 rings.  I do have follow-up info on these.  Apparently, they are gold-plated and not made of gold and are comprised of glass and not actual jewels.  The retail value is around 200 bones.  So to commemorate an undefeated season, the athletic department decided to buy the team and staff fancy garbage.  That's good to know.  Nothing defines "special season" like shards of glass!  So basically, I still have a huge problem with them getting and giving rings but it is lessened a bit once you realize that they were given turds from Gem Diamond.

While there isn't anything to talk about regarding actual on-field play, there is plenty to discuss when stupid coaches keep putting their feet in their mouths.  For example:

"My question is, 'When are we going to start giving a little bit of it to the performers?' Football and basketball players. It won't do any good probably, but I'm going to still keep yelling for them. They bring in an awful lot of money for all of us."--Steve Spurrier

OK, this debate pops up from time to time and the Ol' Ball Coach seems to be a champion of the cause.  It's probably because he sees himself making a ton of money for working 7 hours per week and is embarrassed by it.  NO.  They should not be paid.  They already are given an ELITE compensation package.  If you're going to pay some athletes, you need to pay the tennis team and all other athletes, too, and that will never happen.  So stop it because it isn't going to change.

“I think it’s great. I’m not complaining, and I hope we can get involved in it. ... But then they’re going to want to go to eight teams, and then, ‘Let’s go 64.’ And you can’t do that with major college football. So I just worry where it stops.”--Urban Meyer

Look, Urb does many things very well and has a career that most envy but he is just being stupid here.  It's never going to go to 64.  Quit being an idiot and, yes, you are complaining.  It's not even going to go to 16.  8 will be the limit simply because the NCAA isn't going to have bowl games go all the way through the end of January.  It's dumb.  Stop it.  You're better than this.  A playoff is great and will help your program (since your schedule will not).  In fact, you might be the biggest benefactor of the new playoff system!  Enjoy it.

"I would like your finest toilet water."--Les Miles

Some things never change.  Lester is the best.  For as great as The Hokester is, I kind of wish that Les was at Michigan.

“Personally, I think the conference thing is way overblown. How are you going to evaluate? Are you looking at the top two teams in the conference or are you going to take the conference as a whole? There’s four SEC-ACC games Saturday. Let’s see what happens. Who’s favored in the Clemson-South Carolina game? Who’s favored in the Florida-Florida State game? Wake-Vandy? I don’t know. But you see what I mean? Now, if we’re just talking about Alabama and LSU, that’s different.”--Bob Stoops on the perception of the SEC

WTF?  Where did this come from?  Why is the modern day John Cooper making empty accusations at the Kings of College Football?  It makes no sense.  The "top to bottom" argument is what losers use.  Who cares if your last place team is better than Kentucky?  I've been saying for a long time (correctly) that Bob Stoops is a pretty shitty coach who hardly ever wins games that matter and it is comments like these that prove me right.  Stoops is a loser.

So let's spend day one of Li'l Strut's wedding week talking about his favorite football!  I am intrigued to see if Ohio fans will actually say something bad about King Buttfucker because it would be TOTES justified to do so.  Probably not, though, because they are sheep.


Anonymous said... thought they spent thousands of dollars on rings? LOLZ! This is the NCAA....of course there are limits on what you can spend on those things. Even Bama Championship rings are cheap like those. Dumb ass.

I could see them pushing it to 16 teams.

Ape probably drinks his toilet water to save money.

If Stoops was smarter he would have talked about how a pretty mediocre Texas A&M program went into the SEC and basically ran things in it's first year after leaving the BIG12.

Lastly, RED WINGS motherfuckers! Coming for your bitch ass Prime...just like when they were down 3-2 and I told you we were coming for you. Fuck the Ducks. Red Wings.


Grumpy said...

That was some ELITE dragon shit last night.

GMoney said...

I didn't expect you to buy rings from Li'l Jon's jeweler but I also didn't expect to give everyone trash either. I apologize for giving them too much credit when I should have given them none at all like usual.

It's never going to 16. Way to continue to be Urb's queef.

Stoops is an idiot. Maybe he should win his league before making asinine remarks about the best.

Grump, wait your goddamn turn.

This is typical. All three teams that I wanted to lose are one Caps choke tonight from all advancing. Go Hawks.

Ace said...

Drew=seriously the WORST. Urbz penis is so far down his throat that he can't imagine the Fuckeyes ever making a mistake. Not even possible. YOUR INSTITUTION IS GIVING OUT RINGS FROM THE QUARTER MACHINE AT THE BOWLING ALLEY!!! That's embarrassing. I don't agree with them giving out rings, but if they are going to do it then do it right.

If college football players are paid, then why do tennis players need to be paid? You can't just make shit up. And that doesn't justify what is happening anyways. Is your argument that it won't happen or that it shouldn't happen?

Urbz is quite the politician. I bet Burke loves his ELITISM.

If I got my water from the toilet then I wouldn't be able to run it through my RODI filtration system to get out all the fluoride and other impurities.

Anonymous said...

Drew - you forgot to mention the Tigers, Verlander getting dominated by Ubaldo, and Jose Velveeta looking like his old self. Oh and the first place Cleveland Indians.


Anonymous said...

Slow Seal....make that "Co-first place". Indians May World Series championships are as cute as Denards three September Heismans.


Anonymous said...

Good comeback - you still forgot to comment on Ubaldo dominating shitlander and your fat joke of a closer. What a dumb fuck your ass clown coach is for bringing back Velveeta.


GMoney said...

I used to get those little NFL helmets out of the quarter machine at River City Bowl-A-Way back in the day. Those helmets were/are sick. Apparently, Urb and Gene go jewelry shopping there.

They won't and they shouldn't, Ape. The GUBMINT would never allow one subset of amateur AFFLETES to get paid while everyone else gets the shaft. Pay them all or pay none. As Walter White says, there are no half measures.

Here's a fun FACT: "Stoops" is the most OVERRATED name in college football recent history.

Anonymous said...

Drew is right. No college gives out rings that are studded with actual diamonds, even if you win a National Title. With all the scholarship players getting one for free the value of some of these rings would be in the thousands if everything was real. There is no way the NCAA or any financially conscious athletic department would let that fly.

The paying players argument is dumb. It is estimated that at Ohio State the average yearly value of a full athletic scholarship is in excess of $40,000. 19-22 year olds getting $40,000/year in in-kind services in exchange for playing a sport seems like a damn good deal, especially when you consider that if they take it seriously they could increase their lifetime earnings potential by millions. Moreover, athletes are already given stipends, its not like they are thrown out there with only a meal plan.

Further, if you do it for one school, you have to do it for all. Do you think the mighty Redhawks of Miami (OH) have the coin to be paying its players? Many of the coaches in favor of this are the ones who are paying them already. They just want to make their own job easier by avoiding the time an effort it takes to cover-up their scandals.


G$ is right, it will never get to 64 teams. I can see it growing to 8, but no larger. Event a 16 team playoff would be catastrophic to the bowl system. But if that is the craziest thing Urban Meyer says, then I am fine with it.

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

I'm not sure how the Yankees will pull off the DH sweep today in CLE (as I'm also very confused as to how they are a half game out of the best record in baseball), but I'm sure that Vernon Wells and Lyle Overbay will have a lot to do with it. Granderson is apparently back tomorrow so yay!

Jeff said...

Suave G$, Suave.

Grumpy said...

College football playoffs should include all Div. 1 teams. Give Don Treadwell 2 weeks to prepare for Saban and WE ON.

Prime99 said...

Drew, as I told you, I love living in a world where my hockey team is better than yours. The amount of fucks I give about the 'Hawks playing the BuffaloWings in the second round are the same as the amount of times they beat the Blackhawks in the regular season.

I love that Drew will consistently pick fights in situations like this where if his team loses, oh well they were supposed to lose. And if they win, he puffs up as the biggest dbag on the planet. The Blackhawks actually losing this round (or any round) would be like the Tigers getting swept in the World Series. Never forget.

GMoney said...

Well done, Prime, and this is exactly why the Hawks will roll damn scalp...because you are vastly superior to Drew in every facet of existence (ignore baseball team preferences).

Mo apparently forgot the JOBA RULES!!!

Nate said...

I normally like Stoops, but his comments made him look like a turd.

The year to be saying this is not right after dropping a bowl game to the SEC West runner-ups by 28.

Nobody gave a shit about your fifth place pink ribbons in the elementary school shoe-scramble. If it wasn't first place blue, it was shit.

Anonymous said...

September Heismans made me LOLS.

I'm not sure of the context of that quote, but I'd guess there was some light sarcasm applied to that field of 64 quote.

I could quite possibly see 16 in the future. If this thing takes off and blows up (which it will), the inevitable cash grab for a four week long playoff format will happen. It will be gradual, but I absolutely see having a 16 team playoff in the (far) future.


GMoney said...

Urb has been whining about 64 teams for awhile now. This is not a lie like that story about dick-eating turtles that he likes to lie about.

If they aren't going to pay these kids (and they won't/shouldn't) then they can't really justify a six month season that goes through the end of January.

GMoney said...

I did the heavy lifting that LS suggested and Bama's 2013 title rings are made with cubic zirconium. WTF? When your players win something, stop half-assing it. Open the wallet up, Nicky SabeCakes.

Ace said...

The Fuckeyes AD made a profit of something like 17 mil this year. That means football paid for all of the other sports and still had money to spare. The Fuckeyes also have the most sports in the country. There is money out there for athletes.

Small schools may not be able to afford it, but those are the breaks. College football isn't about student-athletes anymore. It's about money and public demand. As the public opinion continues to change towards paying athletes, and the potential effects the O'bannon case may have, these kids are going to get paid.

Receiving a scholarship that costs normal people 40k a year isn't the same as getting paid 40k a year.

GMoney said...

Well that is nice and convenient but they are one of 23 athletic departments that turned a profit this year so should only some of the BCS schools pay players while the others simply can't? You are an idiot. Like I said, the GUBMINT would never allow this since it is blatantly ridiculous and unfair.

I always knew that Ape was jealous of the Fuckeyes.

Ace said...

Michigan made more money than the Fuckeyes. BOOM.

These kids aren't allowed to make money AT ALL in college, but their boss makes millions annually. Something has to change with that. If the change doesn't come from the university paying them, then the athletes should be free to make their own money. This will be hard to regulate, but something should change.

Anonymous said...

I have to run out and get a great looking shoe shine by a minority (empowering feeling), and go to a couple meetings, which leads me to DRAGONS.

I enjoyed the episode very much as I often do. I did, however, have some qualms with the ending.

LOL Theon! Man, you knew it was going to happen, but, wow, that was some FINE torture, up until the part where he got his dick chopped off. That guys use of horn is always comical (Note: remember last season's horn blower pissing Theon off)

Bastards/Starks are true ladies men. Talisa can get it, but Ygritte continues to zoom up the greatness rankings. She seems like the type of girl who drinks dark beer and watches sports. Also, she will fuck a man up. LOLS Orell trying to throw the moves on her, too. He looks like Sewage Joe from Parks and Rec.

I thoroughly enjoy the wildling with the red hair.

Tywin against Joffrey. If nothing else, since the action is all gone from King's Landing, they really bring the drama. Tywin has been great all year, and him mentally bitchslapping Joffrey was TOTES great. Just cause you can kill a whore with a crossbow don't mean you can go up against Tywin, breh.

Sansa is a dumb twat. Margaery, though, can also get it.

Bran story has blown big dicks this year. Thankfully we get to see Hodor, and they keep it under 2 minutes.

Arya done fucked up! It took longer than I thought for the Hound to get her, but that amazing storyline should take us right through next season, so yay for that. Also, they are needlessly dropping WAY TOO MANY hints about her story later on.

Bronn! It's about time he shows back up. If Lil' Strut watches this, he should be taking notes, since his wedding is coming up.

Dragons!!! Holy shit, they went all out on the CGI this go round. Those bastards look down right frightening right now. I want to see all three of them rip that gay ruler to pieces. But, I can settle for the three of them fucking that town up, hopefully burning all of those slaves (hilariously, all black people).

Bears!! That's right motherfuckers, actual bears. Unfortunately, while this part was completely badass, it didn't do it for me. They've taken enough side steps from the books with the people, that they could have killed a few of them, and had some sort of satisfaction. It seem like all show and no payoff. I know the point of it was to show Jamie running back to save her, but for shits sake kill the bear or a few guys on the way out.


Anonymous said...

"I love that Drew will consistently pick fights in situations like this where if his team loses, oh well they were supposed to lose. And if they win, he puffs up as the biggest dbag on the planet."

Couldnt have said it better myself. When his team wins, he is the first to post and jump all over you. When you bring up his team losing or doing something stupid, he is no where to be found. Go Valverde!


Anonymous said...

"Receiving a scholarship that costs normal people 40k a year isn't the same as getting paid 40k a year."

The fuck it isn't. Look, 90% of these kids aren't going pro, so will have to major in something else as a viable option for the future. Getting out of college with zero debt is a YUGE bonus.

State run schools are playing with Big Government money, and aren't about to give up multiple millions to deal with some asshole agents and build a winning team that will bring them absolutely ZERO in additional returns. It's not like OSU can do much more to sell out every game like they already do.

Then what about schools like Harvard with billions in endowments? Can they throw down their old money and get a crop of 5 star recruits because they can buy every other school in all cash?

The MAC would basically cease to exist. Schools rely on students/alums to go to games and bring in revenue. If you are going to a school that doesn't profit, say, any MAC school, and telling the student body that you have zero interest in your athletic program, then you will severely hurt your admissions, which will lose even more money.

It's economics brah.


Anonymous said...

Ummm...I show up at all times. It just may seem like that since the Buckeyes haven't lost in football in over a year.

Also...Prime if you could read, you would remember that I said the Red Wings were the Stanley Cup favorites before the first round. So, I don't understand why you think I would think they shouldn't beat Chicago.


GMoney said...

These kids aren't allowed to make money AT ALL in college.--That's not true at all. You can have a job. Slater worked as a bus boy while wrestling for Cal U. Nailed it.


GMoney said...

My Dragon Take:

*Well, I finally feel bad for Theon. That was just cold. Giving a bro an unexpected threesome with sexy broads and then having Gene Simmons come in and cut off your boner is NOT COOL BRAH!

*Arya needs a cunt punt. Dude Bro, you are ten years old or something. No one gives a FUCK about your opinion.

*Talisa should do all scenes nude and laying on her stomach. ELITE anus.

*Bronn might be the smartest guy in the entire realm. He made really great points to Tyrion.

*Tywin is the BEST.

*I was saddened to hear that Joffrey is aware of Dany. I really wanted her to wipe out King's Landing without anyone knowing who or what she was. Dany OWNS.

*Jamie should have thrown Lord Michael Bolton in with the bear. That was as disappointing as every scene featuring Bran and his dipshit travelers.

Solid ep though.

Anonymous said...

Minor spoiler/setting expectations alert!

According to my brother who's read all the books (I've just read the first 3), Dany has yet to reach Kings Landing. That is like end game shit. Notice how Tywin and Joffrey were talking about the girl at the far side of the world.

So you could be excited for a really long time.


GMoney said...

As long as you don't send any Gene Simmons-looking assholes my way, I will continue to carry around my dragon boner.

I look forward to her ending KarlYunkerai next week.

Prime99 said...

The BBQWings are your favorites to win it all? LULZ, Slow Drew! I guess we will see how the underdog Blackhawks do against them. It will basically be like the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team only x100, since this will be such a huge upset when the Blackhawks win.

Daeny is not over to Westeros at the end of book 5. There are a whole hell of a lot of other things that haven't happened yet by book 5. Luckily, enough action exists within the slow moving plot to completely entertain.

The Iceman said...

"These kids aren't allowed to make money AT ALL in college, but their boss makes millions annually. Something has to change with that."

Big deal. Don't play college sports then if people making money off of your likeness/name is really that big of a deal to you. The fact is that scholarship athletes already have a better life set up for them simply by just being a scholarship athlete. As long as the athlete doesn't fuck it up by being a retard along the way. I have no sympathy for someone who goes to college for free just because they are good at sports while I'm sitting here paying off student loans into my 40's.

Being a scholarship athlete is like doing an internship. You get experience and your name out there in a network but don't get paid for it. Not every internship lands you your dream job (NFL/NBA) but it can give you a better job (AFL, CFL, overseas basketball, coaching job, etc.) than almost anyone who does not do an internship. Not to mention what Ide student loan debt is so fucking huge after you graduate.

Ace said...

So because a student has excelled enough to earn a free education, they should lose the right to make money? So students on a full ride for academics should fall under those same restrictions, no? Didn't think so.

"Being a scholarship athlete is like doing an internship.".....except you are working for the same school that you are taking classes at, you are generating millions of dollars for the school, and cannot make any supplemental income.

I'm not saying that a pity scholarship athletes. But I don't think they are being treated fair either. Stopping people from capitalizing on their awesomeness is dumb.

GMoney said...

Well then, brainiac, how do you propose your payments be dished out? Does Clowney get the same coin as the punter? What about walk-ons? Does this mean that these kids need agents then negotiate a salary? Does payment fluctuate since it isnt a guaransheed that schools will make money every year? Would the regular students take it up the ass to make up THE DIFF?

You know what--it's better off if we just continue to treat them as the amateurs that they've always been, isn't it? GET FUCKED APE!

No one has mentioned Sergio Garcia yet. I am disappoint. I could watch that little buttplug choke all day forever.

GMoney said...

This is a fucking ELITE lineup that Unfrozen Caveman Manager drew up for game one today. Chris Nelson! Corban Joseph! Alberto Gonzalez!

Nate said...

Don't most of these ballsacks end up going bankrupt within a few years of leaving the pro's anyways?

If anything, continuing to withhold payment will remind college athletes that the degree they are being compensated with is their real meal ticket.

GMoney said...

So we're all in agreement that Ace doesn't make it to Sunday alive, right? You gonna die, honky!!!

Ace said...

"THEY TOOK OUR RIGHTS!!!" -Everybody scholarship athlete ever should be saying.

I tweeted Bomani Jones--a solid follow--yesterday in a response to some white person complaining about him defending Titus Young(or at least saying wait til the full report is out). I said, "Damn honkeys". His response was, "not cool". I was disappoint.

And Rob Parker blocked me. Can't believe it.

The Iceman said...

"So students on a full ride for academics should fall under those same restrictions, no? Didn't think so."

I wouldn't have a problem with that. Because here is the thing. As a person who is in debt up to my fucking teeth with student loans, I would take that deal 100% of the time. Even if I were on an academic scholarship I would forfeit my right to make money for 4 years to ensure I have zero student loan debt for the rest of my God damn life. Because student loans payments are the fucking worst. And I'm being dead serious.

And they aren't even forfeiting the right to make money. College athletes are allowed to work as long as they don't get special treatment and don't do it during season. Working a part time job in the off season should be MORE than enough to give them spending money for what little social lives their sport allows them to have.

And like I said...if they have some moral code that says they refuse to let someone make money off of their name, then don't play D1 sports. Go get an education and pay for it like the rest of us assholes. Because that's the deal. You play sports, we make money. We give you a free education and set you up to be successful moving forward. In return for paying for your school, in addition to a mulitude of other things, we make money so we can afford to do awesome things like this for other guys in the future. Everyone knows the arrangement before signing on that dotted line. Don't agree to the scholly then turn around and bitch the whole time about how unfair it is. That's cunt behavior.

Prime99 said...

G$'s TWO Saved By The Bell references today were ELITE!

GMoney said...

Because that's the deal. You play sports, we make money.

And if you play your cards right, you might get a glass ring from all of your hard work!!!

David Phelps is pitching his ass off but this has Masterson CG shutout written all over it.

Ace said... athlete can make something like 2k through an entire academic year. There is a cap. And a bunch of BS that goes with that.

Just because that's the way it is now doesn't make it right. College football has quite the monopoly football. I just think the athletes should have more power. Should we never change anything? It doesn't matter what the fuck you or I would do to not pay for school.

Scholarship athletes are literally the only human beings within a university that have these types of restrictions placed on them.

Ace said...

G$, are you live blog commenting the Yankees game?

GMoney said...

Is it possible to live blog an ESPN Gamecast? I'm a poor man's Cakes!

Our only hope is if Tito brings in the awful Chris Perez in the ninth.

Anonymous said...

Yeah that lineup worked out well for you. One basehit out of the infield.

Eat Mastersons dick.


GMoney said...

^^^Was I running smack? I believe that I was laughing at how bad it was. I predicted what would happen well before it did. Congrats on being 1-2 in this series, SealCakes. That's right. I went there.

Anonymous said...

Since when did this turn into cry baby blog when people talk smack? Go cuddle up in the corner with Drew and his blankie and you guys can suck each others thumbs.

I forgot someone had to run smack first for me to be a dick. I will enjoy an Indians win whenever the fuck I want, god knows we never win any important ones - so i will enjoy a monday afternoon 1-0 win.


Prime99 said...

SealCakes/Slow Seal? More like Seal Team-6 with his last comment.

GMoney said...

Seal Team Sux is more like it.

You are 1-2 in this series and you are treating your hero and savior like some run of the mill Tiger fan. I will not allow you to come into my "house" and treat such a cordial host like common street trash. And again, the best that you can do is split this series so congrats(?).

The Iceman said...

The perks outweigh the negatives, Ace. Is it a flawed system? is every system. Is it totally unfair towards the student athlete? I don't think so. What athletes are not being paid in actual dollars they are recouping in fringe benefits.

With being an athlete you get invaluable perks like whores trying to blow you every step you take from your dorm to whatever class you're getting an A in because the professor doesn't want to be the one who makes you ineligible. Or free beer at ANY party you attend. Free athletic apparel for you AND your friends. Fame and popularity. Most division 1 athletes are treated like fucking gods from the second they step foot on campus. Even at the mid major level. Frankly I think most of these guys are just being cry babies because without full scholarships that the university provides for them, a large portion of these fucks would have never gone to college to begin with and experienced any of this. I don't think the schools are that far out of line trying to recoup the cost, and then some, of recruiting and sending these morons through school on their dime.

Anonymous said...

" athlete can make something like 2k through an entire academic year. There is a cap. And a bunch of BS that goes with that."

100% inaccurate. Mark Titus got $1100 a month, not to mention food/living/etc from OSU. These crybaby me first glory boys can suck all the dicks.

I wouldn't mind seeing some of them get actual W-2 having jobs with the university or sponsored company during the off season if they need to make some more scratch.