Tuesday, April 09, 2013

WE wON? I Hope Not.

You better be right, Bro Diddley
I’m not doing a live blog/journal of the National Championship Game tonight. I know that I said I would but that is what we in the internet journalism business call a “lie”. I never intended to. The reasoning is simple: I have had very, very poor luck when it comes to my enemies winning big recently and I really don’t want to have to potentially write things like “Well, congratulations” to people that I don’t want to say nice things to. Plus, my dog gets pissed when I have my laptop open for too long and I’m not paying attention to him. He’s a real diva like that.

So I’m just throwing together a really lazy post (even by my standards) as today is only going to go one of two ways anyway. Either Team We On is going to smother us with their earned smug sense of self-satisfaction or the rest of us will point and laugh much like we did when the Tigers got swept in the World Series or when the Steelers got TENOR-IZED. There will be no in-between (or Man Or Mouse!) on this. There are a few things that I would like to throw out there at 2 pm on Gameday when this was written:

*Because it still needs to be said, this is exactly why you ALWAYS root for your arch rival to lose. The one time that you drop your guard, you run the risk of never hearing the end of this. Again, if Michigan cut down the nets last night, it is all of those pro-Big Ten people’s faults and they should be ashamed of themselves.

*If this is truly the greatest rivalry of all time (which LS proved it is not), then you Ohio fans better hope that Louisville won because “National fucking Champions WE ON MOTHERFUCKA” makes “12-OH Row” fucking meaningless. You can argue that point as much as you want (and you will because I know you) but it is true. Awful people like Iceman can say, “Awwwww, you went undefeated? That’s great…KISS THE RING, N-WORD”.

*Is it even possible for Kevin Ware to cut the net anyway? He’s probably going to need to get on someone’s shoulders. Werner Ladders (the official ladder of the NCAA because LOL) are probably pissed about that. They need to make a line of cripple-friendly ladders immediately. Ten bucks says that Pitino pleasures himself with one of those net holes.

*Clark Kellogg was terrible on the call last night. I GUARANSHEED that this is true because he is an idiot.

*Not related to the game but the Rutgers President trying to out-joke Gordon Gee was about as bad as you could possibly imagine. Presidents need to stop with the jokey jokes during scandals. They should call it Round-tine! By the way, the SNL parody of Mike Rice was hilarious and I haven’t said that about SNL in a decade.

Oh God Oh God Oh God…please win Louisville. Put an end to this. If I can’t be happy then no one else is allowed to be. I don’t want to live in a world where fucking Michigan has the nation’s best basketball team. I’ll tell you what, if the Cards won last night then “abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!” You already know which one Pitino is taking.

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank God

Anonymous said...

C-A-R-D-S!!!!

Let's get this out of the way before the excused get going. Don't blame the refs. Yeah, they fucked up a call or two, but OMG THAT WAS A GOALTENDING is whatevs. Deal with it, it was 1:40 into the game. Man up. They also had almost triple the fouls than you. That said, you got manhandled. They dry fucked you up and down the court. Trey Burke aches all over right now (heart and anus the most). The intensity and physicality were too much to handle.

It was also a great game and tons of fun to watch.

Wichita State was also a harder game from them. HAIL.

Mitch McGary LOL.

Spike was too hot for the 2nd half, but I love that he gave you guys the biggest premature ejaculating performance of a time. I can see that smugness growing large until it got smacked right the fuck off.

OSU got more trophies this year.

Clark Kellogg, "He needs to be more judicious with his 3s." lolwut?

lolololololololololololololololololololololol

Ide

Anonymous said...

LOLZ!

Can't wait to see the Michigan cry baby whining in action today! It comes out after every big loss...doesn't matter what actually happened in the game.

Wichita State came closer to beating Louisville....therefore Wichita State is better than Michigan too....LOLZ!

Who made the call that Chane Beahan was gonna beast in that game? Oh yea, that was me.

Last night Ape's dumb ass was tweeting at half that Michigan was up one with the NPOY sitting most of it and how happy he was. Then after the game he's retweeting people that are saying the CBS guys are idiots for saying Burke sat too much, since Spike scored a shit load and ohter things. LOLZ! DERP! DERP! Way to be full of shit at the half...you were rigt after the game BRAH.

I was about to kill Russ Smiff.

Can't wait to see this Michigan team led by Spike next year...LOLZ!

Vegas National Championship odds came out after the game for next year and THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY has the fourth best odds in the country of winning it all.....Michigan is way down the list.

LOLZ!

You OFF Brahs.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I was wondering when OSU fans would build up Wichita State into a juggernaut of a team to legitimize their loss to a 9 seed. I wish a hole would have swallowed both teams, but the fact remains that UM was in the TITLE game and OSU was not.

Anonymous said...

OSU was ice cold and had an off game.

UM got savagely fucked by a better team. Siva embarrassed you.

Also Dieng double dribbling was the most LOLZ moment of the night. I honest can't remember the last time I say a double dribble in non youth basketball.

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

Not nearly as upset as I rise from my slumber.

First, the refs were fucking dog shit. My memory is fuzzy, but I clearly remember a goal tending call missed, Burke CLEAN BLOCKING THE FUCK OUT OF SIVA, Behanananan going over the back 40 times-but especially on th3 play where Levert was shoved out of bounds on the rebound, phantom foul on McGary when Behanananan was falling down after a rebound, terrible travel call when McGary was getting mugged, several times Lville bigs got away with shuffling their feet down low. There is more, but you get the point.

Yes Louisville had more fouls against them. They are a pressure D team and we foul the least in the country. That doesnt mean rape becomes legal after the refs hit their foul quota.

TREY BURKE SICK. He almost did it again. Cant knock his effort. Great game from a great player.

Drew, I still dont get your point. Spike fucking killed it in the 1st half. No reason for Burke to be back on the floor to pick another phantom foul. It's not like all Spike was doing was shooting. He was protecting the ball and getting to the basket.

First half lead fell apart because Lville scouted how our bigs played the high pick. Hancock just waited for our bigs to switch back and he drilled it. Beilein should have adjusted right after that happened the first time, but freshmen.

THJ was ass. If that guy dribbles the ball more than 3 times it is a problem. Stauskas disappeared. GR3 never showed aggression the entire game, a big reason Behananananananan was able to kill the glass.

Beilein got out-coached. Pitino will do that to people.

Michigan basketball played in the National Championship heqvily depending on 5 freshmen. If you think youre going to troll me into being mad then you're so dumb fo real/a fuckeye.

WE ON

GMoney said...

First of all, that was an ELITE basketball game. That crowd was awesome and the AFFLETES were just tremendous. Those were the two best teams in the country. FACT?

Don't cry about the refs. Please don't. Louisville fans aren't whining because Russ Smiff was CLEARLY on the take from Jalen Rose last night. WE ON was playing 6 on 4 due to Smiff's sheer shittiness.

Clark Kellogg has to go. I still can't get over him trying to justify Spike's OBVZ fluke first half by saying that his "per/48 stats aren't that bad!" while Kerr just laughed at his idiocy and told him to get fucked. That was AWFUL. Kellogg does not understand math at all. If that weiner averages 1.8 ppg in 15 mpg then his per/48 (which is not a metric used in a game with only FORTY minutes) is still unimpressive.

The best part about that game was knowing that The Fab Five were there and they got to lose together again. At least Jalen didn't try to make it all about himself again. Those guys are all assholes (except Ray Jackson who is my boy).

LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!!!

Trey Burke Sucks. I was right all along.

GMoney said...

By the way, big props to Big Rex who managed to get his beard into The One Shining Moment montage last night. You are a celebrity now.

Anonymous said...

For many of those missed travelling calls on UL big men in the paint, you could just as easily argue the refs were allowing the players to be mugged so bad by UM that they couldn't get a dribble down. UM can blame the refs, but the refs were missing calls on both ends. Yeah, UM's may have been more glaring, but that did not cost UM the game.

What cost UM the game was getting dominated on the offensive glass. UM shot around 52%, better than UL (45%), and lost. When you allow your opponent to outrebound you offensively 15-8 and turn you over 9-3, it will allow your opponent to put up 13 more shots than you. UM lost this game, because they could not match UL's toughness. 9 turnovers in a game is not bad, but when you only force 3, you have a problem.

Is it football season yet?

- Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

Peyton Siva's dad is the greatest man to ever live. He looks like a guy who would give out Rikishi stinkfaces on the reg.

Jeff said...

What an EPIC win for the CARDS!!!!

Jeff said...

Russ was Rusticulously shitty last night. I'm surprised Pitino didn't run on the floor and execute him when he jacked up that 3 late in the game with a full shot clock.

Mr. Ace said...

I agree with the offensive rebounding. That is something Lville is great at and we didnt stop it. Robinson plays soft on the boards and it killed us. And Behananan climbing over top of people.

McGary was called for a travel while being mugged. I just want consistency...which LOL at college basketball refs and consistency.

Any chance Siva's dad is Jimmy Snuka?

Grumpy said...

I thought it was a great game. You can say the refs are horrible in every college game; it evens out.

I don't understand Ohio fans gloating over Michigan's loss. They were in the championship game and had a chance to win. Your team finished somewhere between 5-8. Second is better than fifth. Petty little fuckers.

Trey Burke indeed SICK.

Chris Webber said...

How the fuck does Jim Beilein lose track of how many fouls his team has that late in the game?

What a joke.

Mr. Ace said...

Chris Webber was almost funny. But it's John.

Also Hancock should have fouled out but for some reason when he undercut Morgan they gave the foul to Djeing. Refs BAD.

The Iceman said...

The the ref complaint comes from the complete and total lack of consistency. Like I said on Twitter last night...there was 5 minutes of legalized rape followed by 5 minutes of the most pussy ticky tack shit ever. If you're going to call the game like a football game all night then fine. Do that. But don't swallow the whistle on a cross check into the sidelines then blow it 5 minutes later when a guy breathes in the direction of the offensive player wrong. You don't allow guys to get in a rythem and key guys like McGary get into foul trouble because they don't know what the fuck is allowed and what isn't. Because the refs don't even know.

That foul called on Burke when he fucking packed the shit out of that dude with the fat dad is still the worst blown call in the history of sports after I've had a night to sleep on it.

Drew making the "this team lost to this team by this much so they're better than you" argument is something 9 year olds do. Makes sense he's the one saying that right now about the Shockers.

GMoney said...

Grump, you know the answer to that question already. As the always mentally handicapped Dut eloquently said on FB last night, "if you ain't first, yer last".

Trey Burke's +/- had to be hilarious last night. Spike is way better. I saw it with my eyes last night.

GMoney said...

Hey Iceman, you limp-dicked queerbait, remember all the stuff that you said to me when I complained about the Heat getting all the calls when they beat the Cavs last month? Yeah, you're a hypocrite. I hope you cried hard last night.

Blaming the refs! LOL!

Anonymous said...

He also slighted the OSU fans for the same thing last week.

Its fucking great how shortsighted this retard UM base is. Its all sour grapes and bitterness towards the OSU fanbase is for laughing hard at them. Yet, these dumbshits forgot about the 3 (three!) championship losses that OSU had 2007-8 that they railed us for. Take your licks and get fucked.

Ide

Anonymous said...

I thought OSU lost to Wichita St to lose their bid for the final four? And Michigan beat FL to make it to the final four and then beat Syracuse to go to the title game? Whats with all these comments about Witchita?

And I have to agree with Iceman, if the best trolling OSU fans can do is to come on here and play the 'best us by, beat them by, probably beat you by' game, then I think we have all won today.

It was a great game and I think our youth was exposed to some great guard play by Lville. No doubt the best two teams were on the floor though. I agree with most of the Michigan ref comments, but you won't hear anyone give us the nod that isn't a Michigan fan.

Good season (not a success though, of couse). If there is one thing I agree with Dut on, its if you aint first, yet last.....

FUCK - Teams assembled like that don't come around too often as we will be sort of dismantled.

Anyway, hang the banner.

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

Ape...u dolt. The point is u wouldn't have gotten anymore out of Burke than u got out of Spike. So, the whole "We're up and Trey barely played" thing is el stupido.

I like how the Michigan guys don't act like McGary didn't get away with about 20 fouls in his minutes. Only the Louisville guys got away with things!

Silva just took it to the rim again.

That three pt barrage at the end of the first half by Kevin Love almost made me cum. You could just feel the wind getting kicked out of the collective Michigan fans empty ballsack.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Ide talking about sour grapes and referencing some shit that happened 5-6 years ago is LOLZ. People "railed" you because the SEC "railed" you in embarrassing fashion in those football championship games.

I find it hilarious when Fuckeyes try to troll after exiting the same tournament two rounds earlier. Please continue.

WE ON

Mr. Ace said...

Drew, I get what you're saying. I assumed you were trying to say that Burke should have been put back in the game like a bunch of other tards. But the idea of having Burke fresh for the 2nd half AND a lead was my point. Lville wears teams down, having Burke fresh was big for us as he kept us in it in the second half.

It's Siva...there is a mexican joke in their somewhere but I will let Ide take it.

You are the ultimate troll.

The Iceman said...

Dick fuck. Did I say Louisville got all the calls? Sure didn't. I said the refs were terrible and inconsistent. They effected the game in a way they shouldn't have.

According to Drew teams better than Ohio include Creighton, Northern Iowa, Southern Iowa, Evansville and Tennesee. Since those were all teams able to accomplish a feat Ohio couldn't. Beat the Shockers. Fucking dumb ass.

GMoney said...

YOU SAID THAT MICHIGAN WAS PLAYING 8 ON 5. YOU SAID THIS EXACT SENTENCE. APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY. "DICK FUCK" IS NOT A PROPER SENTENCE SO APOLOGIZE FOR THAT, TOO!

That first half was a thing of beauty for Adolph Rupp, Ide, and The Klan...scrappy white men going toe-to-toe in a shootin' contest. Then the blacks had to get involved as well as the whatever Peyton Siva is (Samoan? Mexican? Spaniard?). Nearly ruined everything.

Rick Pitino is definitely getting a tramp stamp.

GMoney said...

I still can't get over how terrible of a commentator Clark Kellogg is. I should never feel like I want to hear Billy Packer on the call again yet here I am.

Mr. Ace said...

I was too busy yelling to hear any of the Kellogg comments, but I did catch Kerr laughing at him when talking about Spike's season numbers. I think Gus Johnson, Raftery, and Barkley should call every championship game. That would be entertainment gold.

I am surprised Seal hasn't shown himself here yet to slurp up Pitino.

Grumpy said...

Sitting Burke in the first half was the right move. As long as the game was close, he sits. Michigan went to halftime up 1 and their best player sat for 12 minutes. I would take my chances with that scenario any day rather than have him pick up his 3rd foul.

Stop bitching about the refs Iceman; it's beneath you. Actually, it's not.

Anonymous said...

I'd even take Jim Spanarkle. Must be nice for Nantz going from Hotlanta thereabouts to Augusta.

"I find it hilarious when Fuckeyes try to troll after exiting the same tournament two rounds earlier."

Oh ho ho, I see what you did there. Look up schadenfreude you stupid twats. I will always take pleasure in you losing on the biggest stage even if we lost to Robert Morris in the NIT. I will take pleasure in throwing it in your collective faces (hilariously, the calmest UM friend I have is the one who attended) all day long. I LOVE your failures, of which there are multiples, and I love laughing at you about them.

Siva is as good at stealing things as his father is being a methed out gorgeous man. They also like guacamole, when they could afford it. Boom, nailed it.

Ide

The Iceman said...

That comment was made to set up a hilarious joke reminding everyone of how terrible of a human Pitino is. I apologize for nothing. Dick fuck.

Anonymous said...

Ape- m*ch*gan fans have given osu fans shit every year that we get bounced from the tourney; even though we made it further that you suck asses just about every year since nam. It's not just the title games that we failed in. I think this cute little run that you guys just fell short on made you forget who your dad is (it's Ohio state).

Boy would that have sucked if Columbus' own trey Burke would have won a title. WEgONe!

Dut

Mr. Ace said...

Spike is spitting game at Kate Upton via Twitter. ONIONS!

Prime99 said...

That was fine entertainment on a Monday night. Did I mention I NUTTED the championship? Doubtful it means anything, but it felt euphoric and relaxing nonetheless.

Twitter was a good time last night. Who doesn't enjoy a NCG train?

GMoney said...

No need to fuck with chemistry...just put Verne and Bill at the Final Four and let them be beautiful.

I also have no idea why people are complaining about TBS's first half minutes when the guy that replaced scored 17 points in like four seconds and is way better anyway. If he picks up a third foul, then what? He can't do in the second half what he does best (suck).

This is the only shitty thing about UM doing what I wanted them to do...Ohio fans throwing shade.

FUCK THE FAB FIVE.

Anonymous said...

Nice throwing shade comment, Jamarcus.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Rick Pitino is, no joke, the best second half coach in the history of the game. He owned Belien - who I thought was doing a hell of a coaching job in this tournament (with the exception of benching Burke for way too long).

The relevancy of white players in this championship game had to be at an all-time high for the past 30 years.

I have to say, I fucking loved watching Michigan go down in flames after all the cockiness on facebook the past few days. Oh and knowing that the fab 5 were making a big deal about being there to see them win, and they lost, is incredible. Go take an English course, Jalen Rose.

Seal

Anonymous said...

"Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!" Good stuff G$

Mr. Ace said...

Seal, I think Pitino is one of the best in-game coaches period. He made adjustments in that timeout in the first half after Spike went off that changed the game. He just refused to let Spike handle the ball. They double teamed him immediately if he had the ball anywhere near the three point line. That was a big momentum changer.

I didn't really see anything that he did in the second half that was some ground breaking adjustment. They just crashed the fucking boards in the last 10 minutes.

Is WE ON considered being cocky? It shouldn't be. It's just the greatest team theme ever.

Michigan accomplishing what they did this year should knock the Fab 5 down a peg or 7. Glad Webber came and did his own thing without making it about him.

Anonymous said...

I will agree that this team is millions times more likeable than the fab 5.

Seal

GMoney said...

Last night will be the first and final time that Spike Albrecht is double-teamed. Well, not counting gay sex of course.

Ape, what Pitino did in the second half was to tell Russ Smiff that he is a shitty player (who is turning pro LOL!) and let's feed the beast down low because McGary is not the same tonight and GR3 is a total pussy on the blocks. His brilliant coaching move was basically to whip Smiff (although he did have a brief stretch of getting uppity again).

I like Behanen a lot because he stiff UC to go to UL and UC can get fucked.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I need the English course... ***A million times more likeable.

Mr. Ace said...

G$, I guess. They did post Behanan more in the second half, but he still missed most of his first attempts. Seemed like Pitino also told Siva to just get to the rack and throw it up because they were getting the rebounds. It just seemed like they started playing their game.

Hopefully this team can stay mostly intact for one more year. We have a good PG coming in and if everybody but Burke stays(I don't really care if THJ leaves) then we are at minimum a S16 team. Hopefully.

I think we saw what McGary was without Burke in the game. He still NEEDS a PG to create for him. Hopefully with one more year that won't be the case.

GMoney said...

You are also a male gay. Don't forget about that, Soy Boy.

Mr. Ace said...

The fact that I don't eat meat(including dicks) would make me MALE STRAIGHT.

Also, I will be CARRYING THE FLAG for the first time ever tonight. Maybe a Columbus team I can actually cheer for. WE ON?

GMoney said...

YEAH! Go get them Sharks! They've got two former RedHawks on their team (leading the league!) so boo extra hard. We need this one (well, we need at leat 7 of the final 9).