Wednesday, April 10, 2013

This Post Style Should Look Familiar

This might be the worst photoshop ever but it made me laugh for some reason.
I strongly considered catching up with the BRAHs this week as both are preparing for the Draft while reminding Tom Crean that he is a loser slop-box, but I ended up running out of time and wasn't able to piece it together in my mind-grapes before I had to turn this into my editor.  Long story short, I rule.  They will be back again though sooner rather than later.  Anyway, nothing is going on right now other than everyone misremembering that Rick Pitino isn't really a good dude so you get one of those posts where I address a bunch of different stuff that isn't really interesting but at least it gives an outline for talking points.

*Beilein made the right call - I can't believe how many people out there can't get over the fact that Trey Burke Sucks was benched for the final 11 minutes of the first half.  I understand that you need to go down swinging with your best or some other stupid sports cliche but you also ride the hot hand and had TBS picked up his third in the first half, he would have been ridiculously passive in the second half and thus not what made him fool idiots into thinking he was good this season.  In 1983, Guy Lewis did the same thing with Clyde Drexler for Houston when he had THREE fouls in the first half.  The Glide was on the receiving end of the worst call in basketball history, got his 4th before halftime, and NC State shocked the world.  There is a difference between coaching smart and coaching safe.  Trey Burke Sucks.  Beilein was right.  DEAL WITH IT.

*Going pro, yo! - Ben McLemore is leaving Kansas after one year.  The actual Big Ten POY Victor Oladipo is doing the same.  Both would look terrific in wine and gold.  I would imagine that word would start leaking out of Ann Arbor today regarding who stays and who goes.

*RG3 is the greatest - He just set the record for highest selling jersey of all time.  WE SICK.  Also, rest in peace, Jason Hanson.  Congrats on replacing him with David Akers.  He's terrible.

*Fuck Pop - Seriously, when is Craig Sager going to snap and knock that cocksucker out for treating everyone like shit?  It's sort of funny but it's really old.  You know that these people have a job to do; show them some respect.

*The Masters starts tomorrow - People that don't root for Tiger are terrorists.  They probably prefer limp-dicked phonies named Phil.  Is anyone dumb enough to bet against Woods this week?  Lindsey Vonn's vaj must have some serious rejuvenation powers.

*LOL Baseball - What's funnier: that horrible strike three call to end the Rays/Rangers game on Sunday or the fact that Terry Francona got lost three times on his way to the stadium that he lives two blocks away from on Monday morning?  I think seeing a confused Tito walking around Believeland hopefully shirtless would be more amusing.

*Told you so, Brady and Grumpy - Never doubt me when it comes to TV.  After a promising Bacon-filled start, The Following has turned into a total mess of a show.  You know it is true.  It's getting a second season--we know this already--but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't finish year 2.  Nothing that Raylan's wife/Claire has done has made ANY sense at all.  The Americans, though, still good but wasting an entire episode making me care about Amador's impending death was a bad hour.  I have concrete evidence that Damman loves Keri Russell.  She isn't even remotely husky much to the dismay of Iceman's joke book.  So there's that.

That's going to do it with my babbling for today.  I would love to hear some Indians/Yankees Opening Day stories (if there are any) and/or how Ape's experience at his first CBJ game went.  Probably better than Michigan's last basketball game (nailed it).  WE OUT.


Grumpy said...

My problem with The Following is that law enforcement can't be that stupid. I have it on good authority that once Weston returns they will start playing dirty.

Natalie Zea>Teri Russell

Grumpy said...

Keri, Teri, whatever.

Anonymous said...

I sat court side for the Nets/Six eds game last night. The game itself blew dicks, but who cares? I was ballin yo. Some fun takeaways:

Evan Turner was getting heckled by a guy 4 rows behind the bench wearing a UM hoodie (lol). Evan pointed and said something to him that immediately shut him up. I think I can guess the context of what it was.

Kris Humphries is a pervert. Dude was hitting on the cheerleaders hard after cold staring at them during their routines.

Free alcohol and food. Courtside motherfuckers.

Joe Crawford is ELITE. He can still outrun a gazelle and is developing a sweet hunchback. He is also way too old and his hearing is going away. During every TV timeout a worker had to run out and escort him off the court.


GMoney said...

The Cavs have blown FOUR twenty point leads this season after last night's hilarious affair in Indy. The rest of the league has a combined 12. ELITE!

Jackets...WE AIN'T QUITTIN'!

The Indians are ass. Carlos Carrasco's pussy demeanor is going to get one of his actual good teammates killed. Stop throwing at heads just because you can't keep balls in the yard, bean boy.

Jeff said...

The Jackets sure needed that performance on Sunday....

Will the Tribe please find some capable pitching so Robie Cano stops butt raping my fantasy team.

The Americans is the Troof. The only series on TV besides sports that I have been following.

Anonymous said...

The Tribe is fucking awful right now. No sugar coating it. The combination of Carrasco and Myers last night was extremely shittastic. I don't know when I've seen so many balls rocketed all over. Lyle Overbay is even getting into the act.

No good opening day stories outside of fist bumping Browns sidline reporter Andre Knott at the bar before the game. I pretty much yelled in his face, "Andre Knott!" I'm sure he was impressed. Also, not getting cell service for almost 5 hours was a huge pain in the ass. The same shit happens at Browns games. Can the city of Cleveland not figure this shit out?


Anonymous said...

I already have bet against Tiger this week. He can't win majors BRAH!

If the Indians aren't winning at the beginning of the year like usual...their record could be even shittier than expected.

Triple Crown had a big day yesterday.


The Iceman said...

When Damman bangs Keri Russell the fat jokes will end.

Since I know you all care so much, I'll just update you on what I've been eating in Chicago this week. Went to this place called Jimmy's Red Hots. Real no nonsense place most people here would love. G$ especially since they don't believe ketchup is a condiment and don't offer it. Even for the fries. in fact...the have signs posted everywhere stating how sinful ketchup is. They go the extra mile. They serve hot dogs, red hots and sausage. And everything comes with fries. You can fill up for 6 bucks but the downside is its straight in the ducking ghetto.

Last night was a place called Kuma's Corner. All their burgers are named after heavy metal bands. And they play nothing but heavy metal inside the joint. Their pretzel bun is seriously the best I've ever had. But it's another one of those places in an area where you need to get in, do your business and get the fuck out. The one negative was the waitress called the chipotle mayo on my burger, chi-pole-tay...which drives me up the fucking wall. Fire her and I'll go back.

GMoney said...

A no ketchup restaurant AND a burger joint that celebrates the greatness of Tommy Lee? Sign me the fuck up. I'm sorry, sign me the DUCK up.

I have to say that I've been pleasantly surprised at the lack of death stench coming off of the Pronks and the Vernon Wells of the world thus far. It won't last, but I'm glad that they're hot now and shoving it up Tribe pooper.

Did Tito find his way to the park OK yesterday???

The Iceman said...

The iPhone doesn't support the greatest swear word of all. Duck that shit.

Anonymous said...

Good bet. tiger's dominance in majors is a thing of the past. He will be lucky to get within 2 of Jack by the end of his career

GMoney said...

I assume that anon is Buke who also thinks that Thad Matta will win TWO titles within the next five years. Not a smart prediction. Woods is God. Anyone rooting against him probably cries more than Bubba Watson.

Brady said...

All Tribe fans knew that the pitching was a HUGE question mark this year but I don't think anyone thought it would be this bad. I still have a little faith in Carrasco. His velocity is there and it will take a little time to get back in MLB shape. Brett Myers, on the other hand, can eat a dick. 88mph meatballs over the heart of the plate is never going to work.

It's a long season blah blah blah and all of that but if they truly want to contend, the tribe needs another starter. It's that simple.

"The Following" has taken some really weird turns. I still like the overall idea of the show but it has definitely become a little unbelievable. I'm still fully on board but I'm no longer gushing over it like I was a couple months ago.

Prime99 said...

Iceman's trip sounds ducking crazy so far.

Hey! The Cubs won yesterday and Marmot didn't give up a run. I still hate him with the fire of 1000 Ugueth Urbinas.

Anonymous said...

It was me. Tiger will NOT win this week. I said Coach Matta would win atleast 1 title in the next 5 years, probably 2. 2 championships in the next 10 years...if not 3+. Anywho, tiger hasn't won a major in 5 years for a reason...he can only win the & tourneys of that nature. He will NOT get to 18. Fact. Let's not forget he is a colored person that wouldn't be allowed on augusta national if the right people (ide & klan) were in charge.
Go Phil!


Anonymous said...

Fuck Tiger Woods and whatever percentage of him that is colored. He is an asshole that wouldn't talk to any of you even if you were the only people in the room. He fucking hates every commenter here. Drew, Buke, and myself are then only one's with sense. Why would anyone root for someone that hates their guts, if they had the oppurtunity to. Im sure he hated me when he met me, he certainly hated everyone else in the clubhouse and vice versa. Fuck him and that gimp catfish.

Speaking of ELITE racism, I caught Life on HBO. Man, that movie is awesome. Also, the FBI agent from the Americans is the baseball scout in that movie. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go eat a white only pie.


Ace said...

CBJ is fucking boring. Maybe it gets more amped up during the playoffs? I am sure the atmostphere was good for a CBJ game considering the seats were mostly full and it was the second to last home game, but...not for me.

20 MINUTES BREAKS IN ACTION? I had no idea there were two NFL halftimes during an NHL game. That's dumb.

It feels very corporate in there. Like 80% of the people wouldn't be there if they didn't get there tickets for free/at a extremely discounted cost through their employer. Most people there don't really give a shit.

I don't think hockey is overall a bad product live, but the atmosphere at the CBJ game is pretty lame...I also had to sit with Mrs. Ace's co-workers(she got tickets thru work), which probably multiplied the lameness by 100.

Overall ranking: Meh.

I root for Tiger because golf is better with Tiger. Pretty simple.

Jeff said...

You're supposed to spend the intermissions in line to buy $9.25 beers, DUH!!

Anonymous said...

Grumpy- your comment about the stupidity of law enforcement on "the following" is absolutely correct. There is now way any cops can be as stupid as that show portrays them. I know its only tv, but it is ridiculous. Glincko/Flark is a cop, so maybe they are all that dumb.

However, Keri Russell is much hotter than Natalie Zea


GMoney said...

Jeff, that is what I told him last night. And then wait ten minutes to piss. Ape is an amateur. You got to see them score FOUR goals. That never happens. CHERISH IT! CARRY IT! Also, Dut was there so you know that the crowd was going to be depressed.

Why do I care if Tiger would like me? Why wouldn't he? I am pretty terrific. And since I hate Phildo, I would imagine that we would get along swimmingly. Plus, I also don't mind eating at Perkins.

Ace said...

Again, the product on the ice wasn't bad. I liked watching them play...even if there were no fights. But that's about it. $9 BEEEEEER!!!! That shit cray. I didn't pay for my ticket so I didn't mind it too much. But still cray.

GMoney said...

The problem is that the fans still don't entirely trust the franchise since they've been burned so often in the past. SO OFTEN. They keep their guards up although almost everything that they have done over the past year has been a really smart and good decision. I mean, getting 17K+ in there on a Tuesday night is pretty good.

That culture is slowly changing though. And I think the move East will also help in a big way. You also saw them play a team who probably didn't have more than ten fans in the arena. It's always different when the Wings or Hawks are in town (and take over).

My point: go again. Keep going. These flags aren't going to carry themselves.

GMoney said...

Cody "The Code Man" Zeller is going pro. That feels like a mistake. But then again, so would playing another year for Crean Pie.

GMoney said...

Food post tomorrow...well, kind of.