Monday, April 08, 2013

The Best and Worst of Final Four Weekend


WE ON!



Surprise Iceman post!  I wish I could see the looks on all your filthy faces right now.  What's the meaning of this, you ask?  Simple.  Literally 2 days ago I was informed by my work I will be going to Chicago for a week and leaving today.  I know.  ELITE planning.  They said something about how they want me to figure out exactly why Derrick Rose is such a pussy and hasn't played even though he's been medically cleared.  They also want me to find out if Tom Thibodeau is the Penguin.  I think we all know the answer to that question.  So you get me today, dick faces.  And I bet you can guess what we're going to be discussing.

-WE MOTHERFUCKING ON!  All the Michigan haters can suckle the teet of the Michigan faithful.  What's even better is I nutted the fucking shit out of that game in Damman's pool.  I'm sure I'm still way out of contention but whatever.  We're playing for a fucking national title!

-Zone defense is for cunt holes.  Seriously.  Is this 7th grade girls basketball?  Fucking grow up and play man to man already.  Zone is for lazy ass wipes and coaches who support molesting children.  It's trailer park defense, plain and simple.

-Wichita State is the new VCU.  Cripes!!  I can't wait for everyone to line up to suck Gregg Marshall's cock clean off next year.  It's VCU all over again but with a coach who looks like he belongs on Schrute farms or in a Tom CreanPie family album.  Marshall would be the one holding Joanie Harbaugh-CreanPie's veiny boner.

-Syracuse has ELITE cry babies.  LOLZ!  Nothing screams "I don't believe we have a chance to win this game" quite like bawling after fouling out when the game is still close with a lot of time left.  The moment they showed Michael Carter-Williams sobbing like a rape victim on the sideline I knew Michigan had them.  Such a hilarious moment.  And pick a last name and stick with it, loser.

-I'll say it.  ENOUGH WITH THE KEVIN WARE SHOTS!  Christ Almighty!!  We fucking get it already.  Way to hump our eyeballs into submission while jamming Kevin Ware down our throats.  The Internet is an amazing thing, CBS.  By now everyone knows about Kevin Ware and his vomit inducing leg injury.  Stop talking about it.

-Michigan's late game free throw making ability is butt.  Once again Michigan tried to piss away a late game lead by morphing into a combination of Andre Drummond and DUH-wight Howard.  Prime said it best a couple weeks ago.  Being an awful FT shooter is just being lazy.  Shoot at least 80% or GTFO.

-Jordan Morgan is a terrible basketball player.  Now I know a lot of people will be buffing Morgan's ebony pole for taking that charge that wasn't a charge (see?  I can be objective).  But let's not forget the 20 other plays he had where something absolutely terrible happened.  Morgan couldn't catch a fucking basketball if you ran up to him and gently placed it in his hands.  It's like his fingers are made of freshly shat warm cat turds.  He needs to get zero minutes in the National Championship game.

-I think this was mentioned before...but how is Wichita State getting away with throwing up 2 in the pink 1 in the stink signs all over national TV?  I feel someone would have stepped in by now considering how pussy we've progressively gotten over the past decade.  It's just crazy how people get all bunged up about curse words on TV yet allow a hilarious suggestive sexual symbol fly with regularity.

-Brandon Triche is Delonte West.  Seriously...are those two related?  I was so happy to see Triche get fucked over on that charge call.  It's nice to see bad things happening to assholes.  Especially assholes who play for a guy who turns a blind eye to rape.  Never forget.  That's what you get for flapping your fucking blab hole all week, Delonte Triche.  Enjoy your life in whatever European league you play in next year.

-Are there new jump ball rules I don't know about?  Because that jump ball that was called at the end of the Louisville/Wichita State game most certainly was not one.  The Shockers took 1 in the pink and 4 in the stink on that call.

-Mitch McGary doesn't care for G$'s slights.  Ever since G$ called McGary "terrible" he's been playing lights out.  He's starting to look like the recruit that everyone was drooling over last year and he's only a Freshman.  What this guy could potentially turn into in the next 2-3 years is scary.  Any other players you care to call out, G$?  Michigan could use more studs since they're clearly motivated by your slander.

That's it for me.  Don't forget to cheer on YOUR Michigan Wolverines in tonight's championship game.  I can't wait to see all of the Louisville "fans" come out of the woodwork.  Just mouth breathing everywhere and sweating while struggling to open that jar of pickles.  Just know that supporting Pitino means you support infidelity and abortion.  And widows peaks.  And breath that smells like beet juice.  WE ON FOR THE TITLE!

49 comments:

Anonymous said...

Definitely support abortion and support infidelity depending on the wife. Go Cards.

LOLZ @ caring about how good McGary is in 2-3 years. He gone.

Also, LOLZ at all the Michigan fans begging Webber to show up at the game.

Louisville 77
Michigan 68

--Drew

GMoney said...

What's going on here? Does this mean that I have to live blog the game tonight? FUCK!

I am calling out all of KENTUCK-AH this morning. You are all losers that smell like 'shine and horse shit. You will NEVER WIN.

Please work, please work, please work.

Mitch McGary-Hoffman-Durham must have went to the courthouse and had the Hoffman-Durham removed from his name before the tournament. Christ, he has been incredible. He probably won't do it but I could see him being a lottery pick NOW with all the progress he has shown.

So do you think Michigan will ever run out of miracle threes (I include every one taken by Spike and that LeVert kid who is just ass)?

Triche looks more like Mike Beasley which is not a compliment.

That was TOTES a jump ball at the end of the Louisville game. The way that those refs were calling it (LOU had 10 fouls with over 11 minutes to go in the game) then that was definitely the right call.

I'm OK with the Ware camera shots. I am not OK with Clerk Kellogg making up an entire dictionary's worth of words per game.

I'm completely fine with the Yankees terrible lineup hollowing out Jut's ass yesterday. Also fine with PWNING Dut. Even more fine with the Travis Hafner destroying Cleveland this week. Seal and Damman are going to have an awkward boner-fueled hug this afternoon as is their custom.

GMoney said...

Before I forget, DAP to Trey Burke Sucks for yet another completely underwhelming game. WE ON is on-ing in spite of him.

Grumpy said...

That was not a jump ball; if anything it was a foul on Louisville. Shockers got hosed.

Didn't realize Michigan starts 3 freshmen. They BE ON for awhile.

Michigan 72
Louisville 69

The Iceman said...

Well, we know McGary will definitely be back next year. Who knows...he could be one of those rare guys who stays 3 years. Maybe we can get resident college basketball expert BradyCakes to chime in on the subject.

You know who will be a lottery pick, G$? Trey Burke SICK. To the Cavs if they're smart.

I found myself cringing every time LeVert let one fly. For a guy announcer say is a "great shooter", he sure does suck at shooting quite often.

Mr. Ace said...

WE ON!

I was at Big Bang piano bar for some party that evening, but went and watched the game at R Bar. I returned to Big Bang after the victory and demanded they play Hail to the Victors. They did. It was awesome. It also started a bidding war between Bucktards and WE ON ers and they probably made $300 in 15 minutes. WE ON!

I still feel that was a charge. Triche was out of control and Morgan slid in front of him. That was an easy call.

I love me some Spike Albrecht. Great handles and not afraid to pull the trigger. LeVert had a day. Great D too.

I am worried about McGary leaving. He may be a freshman but he is older than TREY BURKE SICK. if he dominates again tonight then he is probably a top 20 pick, maybe top 15. I think ye comes back for one more year, but I think it is 50/50 and depends alot on gr3 and THJ.

WE ON!

GMoney said...

But he never stopped sliding, dumbass, and a turd like Jordan Morgan should never get the benefit of the doubt. Whatevs, Cuse was shit other than CJ Fair on Saturday anyway.

McGary might just be the new Hansbrough.

Louisville better fucking win tonight. That Hancock kid who looks like Kevin Love (another lookalike better than "Delonte Triche") hopefully nails 10 treys burke sucks.

Anonymous said...

#WEON

#Treyburkesick

Trey was saving it for Monday night. You'll see. He knows where the real $$ is made...

My buddy r funch makes a good point to me yesterday...

Down goes Shaka Smart
Down goes Billy Self pleasure
Down goes Billy D
Down goes Jim Bonner
Down goes Rape Patino

Most epic coaching job ever? MOST EPIC coaching job ever....

GO BLUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

- J Saul

The Iceman said...

Agree Saul. If Michigan pulls it out tonight has there been a more impressive title run in the last EVER? Michigan had an absolute brutal road to get to the championship game.

My bad on forgetting the K-Love doppelgänger. That's was spot on.

And that was a complete and total foul on Morgan. He was still sliding into position when Triche was in the air.

Anonymous said...

This days commenting should be archived to show what a bunch of mouth breathing hypocrites this resident UM fan base really is. In under 10 posts you've already shown the same retardation and frothing fanatacism that you constantly chide the OSU fan base for.

Ape watching the game at R Bar is very apt.

Iceman quickly adopting the us against the world mindset is LOLS.

I'm cheering for Pitino because the guy is a stone cold gangster. He gets a handy in a timely fashion while enjoying some great pasta and sauce AND stops a love child scandal, all while crafting a championship program. And he wears impeccable suits. Dude is Teflon.

RIP CBJs season.

Ide

GMoney said...

Tonight would be a great night for Ricky to bust out the all white suit. That thing covers up so many semen stains.

Remember how LS is an idiot and roots for Michigan all the time because Big Ten Priiiiiiide!!!? Yeah, today's comments (and god forbid tomorrows) are what happens when you are such a dipshit.

Anonymous said...

Lolz at ace calling that charge an easy call after describing a blocking foul. You obvz have your Michigan colored (shit) glasses on.

I can't wait to troll Michigan fans tonight after they get rolled. #WEgONe

Is jsaul trying to bring back the word EPIC!?

Dut

Anonymous said...

I'd like to know why Iceman is dead certain that McGary is "definitely" coming back.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I'm done rooting for TSUN. All I wanted this tournament was for the B1G to get legitimized as a top conference. This has been accomplished already. We don't need a National Title to do it. If Indiana or Sparty were playing tonight, I might root for them for further legitimacy, but there is no way I am rooting for TSUN tonight. Go CARDS!!!

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

On a separate note, and I am not doing this to troll, but who from TSUN's squad goes pro after this year? Trey Burke is a given. I think McGary stays like Sullinger did. Hardaway? Robinson?

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

If the only thing up for debate in my post is my word of the use EPIC, #WEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The squirminess of OSU fans at the thought of Michigan bringing down a title before them and all their EPIC failures the past decade is pure gold. It won't get any better than having taken out Kansas and FL in our way!!! DUT has been saying the same thing for the last 2 games!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your trolling means nothing when bucknuts got knocked out by a 9 seed in the elite 8!


- J Saul

GMoney said...

One unfortunate thing about March Madness this year and the Nut Pool is that WE ON fans are much smarter than Ohio fans. The standings are proof of that. I hate all of you.

Yesterday morning on SportsCenter, Bruce Pearl was trying to justify that charge by saying that the letter of the rule makes that a good call. What are you talking about, jerk? At no level of basketball is that a charge! LOL at Aaron Craft for committing to play for that guy at one time and then getting him fired because both are stupid pussies.

Every single non-Barkley in 'merica knew that the Big Ten was the best hoops conference this year. It didn't need to be legitimized in the tournament. But it is and now you have egg all over your face.

I would guess that Hardaway goes but you can never tell what a young black man will do until it is done. It usually leads to jail time.

Unrelated: I was watching Shawshank yesterday and She$ kept asking me why I was watching Schindler's List. I never responded to her until she figured out the correct title. She was rooting for Michigan as well on Saturday night so it made sense.

Brady said...

I thought Michigan was going to have trouble with that zone on Saturday after watching the first few minutes. Then McGary decided to become the best basketball player of all time. Fucking Michigan. If they do win tonight, I'll take solace in the fact that it's America's third favorite sport and nobody will talk about it a week from today.

Tribe-Yanks today. I can't wait to see what a $200 million+ lineup looks like!

Mr. Ace said...

WE ON

By the letter of the law, that was a block. By the way the block/charge has been called all tournament that was an OBVS charge. Triche was out of control. Boeheim didn't even try to argue it and Beilein threw his hands up in victory before the ref even made the call.

The most I look at the matchup, the more I like Michigan's chances. If they press us we will murder them just we did VCU. And their back up guards are ass without Ware. McGary will own the paint just like he did against Withey. And if Stauskas is out then Spike will get more minutes to defeat the pressure. We have been playing excellent D as well, and not getting beat on the boards.

WE ON

If Michigan wins I will be insufferable. Just fair warning. I might legally change my name to WE ON.

Brady said...

I haven't seen the WE ON shirts in quite some time. Was the internet backlash too much for them? Tonight would be an excellent time to bring those out of the attic (as lons as Iceman can find them up there!).

GMoney said...

Adidas' desire to pay them gobs of cash to RISE TO THE OCCASION probably was a bigger factor.

If Michigan wins I will be insufferable. Just fair warning. I might legally change my name to WE ON.

Remember, Li'l Strut, THIS IS ON YOU.

If they do win tonight, I'll take solace in the fact that it's America's third favorite sport and nobody will talk about it a week from today.

If they do win tonight, this will NEVER stop being talked about. We are on the verge of armageddon. You need to prepare for this. WalMart's everywhere are already reporting mass sellouts of their Michigan gear.

Anonymous said...

G$, I'm glad you recognized that Michigan fans hold the top 4 places in the Nut Pool.

And it's not all homer UM picks either. I wrongly picked Florida to beat Michigan in the Elite 8.

UM fans are just smarter than Ohio fans. It's amazing I've been able to keep my intelligence after living in Columbus the past 10 years.

Ri5e to the Occasion! WE wON, WE #ONe. EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-GSaul

Mr. Ace said...

Is R Bar a closeted gay bar for hockey fans that Ide got kicked out of?

WE ON

But seriously...WE FUCKING ON

Brady said...

The Money Shot Twitter account is going to be the worst tonight.

Prime99 said...

Since Louisville and Michigan are both Adidas teams, and both Rise To The Occasion, who will rise the most on riseyest of rising occasions?

Seriously though, that's a dumb slogan.

Anonymous said...

Its only dumb if you lose in the Elite 8 to a 9 seeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its like Tiger Woods says, winning takes care of EVERYTHING.

- J Saul

Brady said...

If Kansas could've made that one free throw...

Anonymous said...

ts really cute watching UM fans get giddy over their first meaningful game in 15 years. Aside from that lol 1vs 2 game.

DRAGONS!

The Reeds finally made it. Thank God, now Brans story can start being awesome aside from Hodor and direwolves. Though, more Hodor can't be a bad thing. Jojen Reed walking up on that snarling direwolf was tits. Dude balls.

Arya + Hound. Oh dear.

Jamie and Brienne story was solid last night. Those awesome Brienne jokes were LOLS and spot on. Also, Brienne could probably kill a small army.

Theon being tortured. I could watch an hour of that per week alone.

I love that Tyrions only contribution to the episode was getting a blowie while providing comic relief. P(imp)!

It looks like the show's top piece of ass Margaery is about to make Joffrey her bitch. That scene was great and Joffrey is TOTES going to fall in love. Also, major bonus points for wanting to make being gay punishable by death. Last night was filled with tons of homophobic and sexist remarks by Joffrey. He wins the episodes MVP.

Comjng in second would be Lady Olenna. She loves her cheese and gossip. Also, she reminds me of that Countess on Downton Abbey (ELITE show).

Apprently, from here on out, this show is going to go full speed. I hope to see the dragons going HAM soon.

Ide

Prime99 said...

I'm pretty sure J Saul sort of just talked shit to me as if I'm an Ohio fan which is the biggest LULZ thing I've seen on this site. Two things to keep in mind, I'm not an Ohio fan, and RTTO is NOT a Michigan slogan- Louisville will also be wearing RTTO shirts in warm ups tonight. So my point was how dumb it is for both schools to have to same dumb slogan.

Brady is right about the Money Shot twitter. Ape's UM rants are worse than Tribe games being live tweeted- by a lot.

Mr. Ace said...

My WEON rants are elite and I will prove it tonight.

GMoney said...

Thrones was slow and seemed boring last night (biggest upset ever being Ide's love for Downton Abbey though...good work!). I still don't know who half of the characters are. Stop introducing new characters, dammit. I don't care about this stupid kid and his sister. Where were the tits?

Man, it will be TOTES great if Louisville is the team that rises to the occasion best tonight. Cowherd thinks that the Cards win because Pitino "sounded more confident" in his press conference than Bielein. Cowherd is a professional.

Ape is out-Ohioing your average Ohio football fan with his moxie and shit-eating remarks. I've got to hand it to the guy, he does not care about getting all of his garbage thrown back at him. Considering that Ape's are used to flinging shit at each other though, you know, whatever.

Anonymous said...

You should care about the kid and his sister. Well, maybe not the sister, but Jojen balls hard. The guy can jump in peoples dreams and a lot of other fun stuff. Meara can be a little twat, but you should always give respect to someone that can dominate a dire wolf. Always.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Still waiting on Icemans reply to my McGary question.

Beahan is gonna be a beast tonight.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Ide, stop dropping spoilers. Unless you are a dork who reads science fiction for fun then that nerd meant nothing last night. Prime doesn't do it and he is the King of the Nerds/Commenter of the Year 2012.

Drew, Scoonie was on the radio and made a great case for why Mitchell McGaryGrant could leave early: name on NBA team that would pick Cody Zeller over McGary. Zeller is easily a top ten pick but we pretty much know his ceiling. He might stick around Ann Arbor though if he has a fetish for ugly Asian women (85% of UM's student body).

I really want to see Nigerian Prince Dieng block about 40 shots tonight Dikembe-style.

Mr. Ace said...

I heard the Scoonie part as well(I wish he was on more), but I don't think McGary is Top 10. Burke created a lot of opportunities for him and he hasn't shown much or a low or high post game. If he comes back to Michigan for one more year and shows he has a back to the basket game then Top 10 fo sho.

WE ON

Prime99 said...

Ide's spoilery comments are worse than Ape's Michigan tweets. I demand you bow to me as your King (of nerds) and shut it with the details you learned by reading the book (aka skimming the Wikipedia plot summary.)

GoT has been a bit boring. Mostly set up so far and not as much Margeary boobs as there should be. Still a damn fine show but I find myself pissed that they spent time with Catelyn and Robb's wife having a pointless conversation and other various wastes of time. However, I'm sure the action will be heating up soon.

Anonymous said...

I agree with everyone's Game of Thrones feelings. Neither episode has had much value. There has not been much action and they are jumping around quicker than a soap opera. You know it sucks when you are waiting for something to happen and then all of a sudden the show cuts to credits. With that being said, the first two season have built up so much goodwill with me that it would take an entire season of shit for me to lose interest.

-Lil' Strut

The Iceman said...

http://www.mlive.com/wolverines/index.ssf/2013/04/rising_pro_prospect_mitch_mcga.html

There you go, Drew. Not sure why you needed me for that when all you had to do was Google "Mitch McGary going pro." Now here comes the comments about how we should never take AFFletes at their word. But there's a glaring difference here...McGary is white and by rule is telling the TRUF.

Anonymous said...

I don't think he will leave either, but if they win the Title tonight and Burke, Hardaway Jr., and Robinson III all bolt, I think he may be singing a different tune if he is a projected 1st rounder. Especially since he is going to be 21 by draft day. (How the hell does that happen if he is only a freshman?)

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ Iceman! McGary backed off his stance on SATURDAY and said he now needs to discuss things with his family after the season. You don't even know things like this about your own team. You just proved you are a Brady Cakes level Michigan basketball fan. You are so dumb....for real. Brady scoffs at your knoedge of your own team.

--Drew

GMoney said...

He's a 20 year old freshman? Christ, that changes everything. Are we sure that he's white? Is he related to J-Rupe?

To be fair, when I came out swinging at the terribleness of Mitch McGary, he was playing TERRIBLE basketball. I just LOL'ed harder than most. I can't be held responsible for my motivating laughter.

Mr. Ace said...

Iceman...ouch. McGary definitely backed off that statement, which is why I say 50/50. And MLive is trash.

BUT WE STILL ON

McGary was actually eligible for the draft before this year, but chose to come to Michigan after a year at prep school. I feel like another year under Beilein could really help him, but C.R.E.A.M.

WE ON

Anonymous said...

What spoilers? I said he could jump in dreams. That was the very first scene. And he even admitted he could later in the episode. This war businesd was even indirectly addressed with Jon Snow norf of the wall. He was scouting with those crows. Pay attention yo.

Ide

The Iceman said...

I never saw that story. And even if he did back off my feeling is he'll come back. I think he wants to.

Brady said...

Whatever, Drew. Everyone knows I'm a walking, talking encyclopedia when it comes to basketball.

There is no way McGary repeats that performance he had in the semi final. Dude was unconscious for awhile. He probably remembers he's just some white guy with a haircut that is WAY too high and tight this evening.

GMoney said...

PRONK SON!!! ULOLDO!!! Happy Opening Day, faggots.

Anonymous said...

Brady, McGary has been playing lights out then ENTIRE tourney (and tail end of the regular season). He is the main reason we are in the title game....What possible reason makes you think he will take tonight off when all the aforementioned talk about his stock draft being on the line is at play? If you say the added pressure I swear to god.....

- J Saul

GMoney said...

It is a goddamn lock that if WE ON is still ON tonight, McGary is going to win the Most Outstanding Player of the tournament award. Keep in mind, he is doing all of this with a god awful point guard.

Hiroki and Ubaldo are having a very impressive Shit-Off this afternoon.

Brady said...

I have nothing to back up my McGary prediction. Just trollin', yo.

It only took 45 min to get through the Indians/Yankees first inning. The pitching has been OUTSTANDING so far!

Fuck you, Project Donkey. When are you going to get hurt and stop hitting bombs? It's going to happen but I'm getting tired of waiting.