Monday, March 11, 2013

Weekend Wrap-Up

The Great Chili/Beans Debate has gotten violent.
I finally went out and bought a new porn viewer/laptop on Saturday.  Best Buy has some decent sales going on right now for what I require (not much) so I went down there to pick one up.  Of course, they were out of stock because Best Buy is a shitty place.  So some dumbfuck is ringing me up and ordering what I want for me and here comes the add-on gouging.  The look of dejection on his face when I denied him commissions on the warranty and Geek Squad services was tremendous.  I just want the computer; not any of your other bullshit.  As a reminder, don't purchase anything additional that places like that offer.  They are always full of shit.  How about a quick rundown of the weekend?

*Tiger Woods, son - Forever the best.  I can't wait for him to shit all over Augusta this year.

*You're the best around, nothings ever gonna keep ya down - Mariano Rivera trotted out his unattractive family to announce that 2013 would be his last year.  That's fine.  Dude has earned the right to leave on his own terms.  He may not agree, but Mo is without question the best closer of all time and you could probably make a decent case that he is one of the most dominant pitchers ever.  It's just unfortunate that he is only going to get 10-12 save opportunities this season.

*Mexicans LOL - I don't care about the World Baseball Classic because it doesn't appear that any decent American pitchers do either.  But the brawl between Canada and Mexico on Saturday was just terrific.  Larry Walker said that he saw Satan in the eyes of Alfredo Aceves.  That's great.  And the best part about it all was that it began because the Mexicans didn't understand the rules of pool play. 

*Suck my flag pole, Red Wings! - Major LULZ to the Drew, the Sauls, and the rest of those pricks up north for getting their asses kicked by the CBJ this year in the season series.  WE OWN YOU.  While reminding Drew that he roots for a shit hockey team after Saturday's dominating performance, he embarrassed himself by pointing to the standings as if that is how you judge who is better.  I don't care if you're better at beating Calgary and Phoenix than we are.  I do care that we are 3-0-1 versus our division rival (I am writing this before the season finale this evening).  That's a large enough sample size to determine who is better.  WE ARE, SON!  In fact, WE ON!  At least the NHL finally gave in to your constant whining and moved you out of our division though.  You are a bunch of scared twats.  CUP OR BUST!  By bust, I mean let's go to Private Dancer if we don't win the Cup.

***Sunday Night Update***  SWEEP, FUCKOS!  Let there be no doubt.  We are the better team.  4-0-1.  I wish that we could play those losers every day.

*Do it, Stumpy, do it - Deadspin is reporting that someone close to The Blade Murderer says that Pistorius is suicidal.  I'm rooting for this.  You don't have thoughts like this if you aren't guiltier than Antonio Henton trying to buy an undercover cop's mouth for 19 bucks (ELITE reference!).

*James Harrison is taking his dirty play elsewhere - It's about time for the most Raiders-like non-Raider in the league to join the Raiders.  What will Dick LeBeau do with all those extra yards that he won't give away?  Actually, those will probably just switch over to William Gay PI calls.

*The Big Ten has been decided - The best conference in the land this season has concluded.  I may or may not update this portion after the IU/WE ON game (looks like Ohio is going to beat Illinoise).  Probably not.  My laziness is legendary.  Anyway, here is my first team all conference:
C Cody Zeller; PF Buckets Thomas; SF Victor Oladipo; SG Gary Harris; PG Aaron Craft
This team would not lose.  DEAL WITH IT.  Trey Burke Sucks.  Update after that game, my suspicions were confirmed...Burke is ass.  He proved it tonight.  It isn't trolling if it's true.  How about a few more possessions of no passing?  I rule.

That should be enough to get things rolling until Zombie Time.  In conclusion, yesterday was my dog's birthday and I am absolutely furious that BradyCakes didn't stop by with a cake or presents.  This is the sort of thing that he truly loves to celebrate.  What a jerk.

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dut probably buys the add ons and warranties at Best Buy.

That was a pretty ELITE brawl.

Tiger is not better than Jack....deal with it. He won't win a major again this year.

Hopefully, Mariano didn't have a pool party to celebrate his announcement.

Just so everyone knows....G$ would rather flap his cunt than bet a ribs dinner like a real man on who will finish above each other in the NHL standings. He does not have Grumpys saggy set of balls. What a puss.

Speaking of pussies...Michigan basketball. What an epic choke job by those ass clowns. Robinson, Hardaway.....and Aaron Crafts Bitch should basically kill themselves after those free throw misses. Just awful. Nice to see Aaron Crafts Bitch take 20 shots and have as many turnovers as assists too. Best Michigan team in 20 years is playing on Thursday of the BTT....LOLZ!

--Drew

GMoney said...

I would have bet you if you losers were still on our schedule the rest of the year because, you know, YOU CAN'T BEAT THE MIGHTY JACKETS!!! I don't see how you can be so obtuse. We are clearly the better team as seen in all 5 games that you've been outplayed in. Good luck against the rest of the league. I'm glad that you are more confident against them than I am in my team. 4-0-1, twat.

Michigan LOL. I discussed this with a few of you yesterday but Mitch McGary has to be the worst player of all time. His offensive game provides major LULZ. He is so bad. I can't believe that THAT was the #2 recruit in the country.

Trey Burke Sucks. Who has been saying that all year and now everyone knows??? THIS GUY!

I know that it was Spring Break and there were few students around but that was a god awful atmosphere at The Schott yesterday. Big props to Dan Dickitch for telling Craft to quit whining about a reach-in since he gets away with it constantly.

I really hope that Crean Pie cut the nets down at Crysler. OBVZ they did not after that loss on Tuesday because they knew that WE ON would provide no challenge.

Jeff said...

JACKETS!!!! They should get into the playoff scene with next 5 at home. If they can salvage some points on west coast road trips we in bizznasss. Mason needs to be traded for any draft pick of any year. BOB is ELITE!

woLOLverines, should've known better than to count on them. Still always great to watch them have their hearts ripped out.

Anonymous said...

What did you say? I couldn't hear your excuses as to why you won't bet ribs due to the queefing coming from your cunt.

Indiana did cut down the nets after their loss on Tuesday. The pictures are hilarious. One of the most pathetic things I've ever seen.

McGary has retard strength....he definitely counts to potato.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

Best part about today: Knowing that a loss means that Michigan fucked over 2 teams I hate. I would rather have zero Big Ten titles than sit here and listen to guys like Brady brag about a shared title they didn't deserve.

Michigan just caught Indiana at the wrong time. There's no way that team was losing 3 straight. It was a 1 point loss in a game that should have been won and almost was if Jordan Morgan knew how to make layups. But like I said...the silver lining is that Fuckeyes get nothing now. BOO HOO! Sorry we couldn't do the work and have you ride the coattails in, fellas.

Burke > LOLadipo

Anonymous said...

How would the Buckeye not "have deserved" the title? They were the ONLY team in the conference that beat every team in the conference. If anything, they would have been the most deserving.

Icemans takes after Michigan basketball loses are pathetic. Quite the slappy.

Forgot to mention....props to Slow Seal for possibly avoiding the NIT.

Lunardi has the Buckeyes as the 2 seed in the West with Gonzaga....that would be amazing.

--Drew

Anonymous said...


"Michigan just caught Indiana at the wrong time. There's no way that team was losing 3 straight"

For them to lose 3 straight, that means they would have had to have lost 2 in a row going in to that game - that is not true, they did not have a 2 game losing streak going into yesterdays game.

LOL at Drew saying Tiger is not better than Jack... They guy has more pressure times a million on him, everything he does is under a microscope, the competition is leaps and bounds better than it was 40 years ago, and he is STILL blowing records away. He has already passed Jack's win totals and he isnt even 40... AND he is winning a major this year.

Kentucky held Florida completely scoreless for the last 7:36 of that game - that is ELITE defense.

Come on Drew- youre better than to believe Lunardi's bullshit. He is the biggest fraud out there.

Seal

Ace said...

Well, fuck.

I hate the shit that Iceman is saying because that is the most Fuckeye thing ever to say. Not happy about the loss and there is no silver lining.

How the fuck was the foul on GR3 not an intentional? If that was not an intentional then the rule should be abolished. Free throws and the ball creates a completely different outcome. We got robbed on that one.

FREE THROWS MOTHER FUCKER!!! We deserved to lose that game. That was the ultimate choke job. If you can't make free throws then you can't win big games. Real simple. Burke definitely started playing hero ball late in the second half, but he went 5-8 from 3 so that wasn't the problem. 20 shots for 20 points es no bueno.

McGary has offensive game, but in crunch time he just moves way too fast and loses control. Happen every time.

Cody Zeller is the MVP for Indiana. Glad we won't be seeing a big man like him for the rest of the season.

The Iceman said...

How about winning a Big Ten title where you control your own destiny the whole way, Drew? Depending on other teams at the end of the year so you can slide your way through the back door isn't exactly "deserving" now is it? Oh, wait...to a Fuckeye it is.

Anonymous said...

Slow Seal...talk to me when he starts sniffing the Majors record. I Guaransheed you thought he was gonna win a major last year too...all Tiger slappies did.

Buckeyes are at worst a 3 seed right meow....if we make the B1G title gMe we will be a 2 seed.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

I'm glad I don't think like Ace. Because then I would be a vegan and a pussy.

The Iceman said...

"For them to lose 3 straight, that means they would have had to have lost 2 in a row going in to that game - that is not true, they did not have a 2 game losing streak going into yesterdays game"

Iowa never counts, Seal.

Anonymous said...

Iceman - I knew that was coming as I actually agree with you. Iowa is the worst.

Considering me a Tiger Slappie is laughable - He is far from being one of my favorite golfers, but you have to repect what the guy has done in his career. AND golf is more fun to watch when he is in the hunt on the weekend.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Iceman....it's based on a SEASON you dolt. Something the Buckeyes made possible by winning in Bloomington....something your boys couldn't do. Enjoy your five seed this weekend schmuck.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Seal, I'm pretty sure that Florida was on the take for that game because how they lost was almost unfathomable. They played the last 8 minutes like Mitch McGary.

Iceman brushing off embarrassing losses is just hilarious. It's like Drew not being embarrassed that his God-like hockey team is worse than the lowly CBJ.

You prove who is better on the ice/court. Penn State is better than Michigan and the Jackets are better than the Wings. You are acting like Jordin Tootoo AKA the biggest shithead alive.

Anonymous said...

"Cody Zeller is the MVP for Indiana. Glad we won't be seeing a big man like him for the rest of the season."

Good to see you've resigned your team to failing in the BTT.

Iceman only thinks IU deserved to win the title, since they controlled their own destiny. Sound logic.

It's still hilarious to know that your best team in 20 years is still worse than our worst team in the past four. Oh well, at least UM had the 90's, and no one can take that from you!

Ide

Anonymous said...

Yes, Iceman is indeed on a roll today with his ridiculous statements. So last year Michigan didn't deserve a share of the title when OSU won on the last day of the season?

Text if the day from Buke yesterday, "in a close game I trust Indiana and their whiteness more than Michigan and their blackness." I believe that's what you hitting the nail on the head.

-Damman

Ace said...

"I'm glad I don't think like Ace. Because then I would be a vegan and a pussy."

Being rational is tough. Much easier to make dick jokes and act like bad things don't matter.

GMoney said...

Michigan should have played Spike Albrecht more. Christ, that guy must get powerbombed daily. What a puss. He probably thinks that the Red Wings are better than a team that they literally can not beat, too.

Anonymous said...

I didn't get to watch the IU/UM game live. After I checked the score, I wanted to watch the final minutes to see how it played out. Even though I knew the outcome, I still felt in my gut when UM was up 5 with 0:40 left that they were going to win. When you already know the outcome and you still cannot fathom the loser actually losing, you know it is a monumental choke.

All these Michigan fans acting like they get more pleasure out of OSU bitching than they would have if UM actually won the title is pathetic. It makes no sense and it makes them look fucking stupid. Nevertheless, I can admit that, even though OSU did not win the B1G, a good consolation is that Michigan is looking up at us in the final standings. Hey Michigan, tell me how my ass taste!

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

LS! I was just thinking about you while I was holding my junk in the bathroom. I thought that you left us for good because we weren't big time enough for you.

Anonymous said...

I still read nearly every day, but normally it is after hours due to my work schedule. Even though my comments are profound and thought provoking, I know they will not garner any views after hours, so I have refrained from commenting.

I will never be too good for the Moneyshot. This blog has gotten me through countless hours of work boredom and tedious law school classes. For that, I am indebted.

-Lil' Strut

Brady said...

-I saw the Facebook picture of your dog licking on a Goose bottle. I almost made a pet birthday comment but figured it would be used against me. Boy was I right!

-After Michigan choked yesterday, Twitter was incredible. It's worth it to join just to be a part of tremendous trolling parties like that.

-USA! USA! Fucking Canada. It's about time we beat those douchebags in the game we invented. I have no idea why I'm so in to the WBC this season but I am. That was an ELITE game to watch yesterday.

Anonymous said...

You know it was epic chokage when celebratory text come through from OSU fans (BUKE) before the epic let down.....

I think we can all call a spade a spade here.....that was a brutal loss. At home, you don't gift wrap W's like that to the #2 team in the nation when your piece of the title is on the line. We deserve every last lick from anyone who feels the need to dish it.

Cheery on top is the Wings bleeding out to the Jackets....But Drew, you should take solace in knowing that G$ is team OHIO. He even refereed to the Wings as that team up norf? He doesn't get to play the emotional game of UM vs.OSU so he picks hockey as his subpar rivalry battle.

But I have no argument to what was written today.

I will issue Drew any bet of his choosing. I'll take Tiger to win one of the majors against the field this year. HE ON!

Probably won't have a ton of commenting time today, so here are my zombie thoughts (they can be ignored until noon). WHAT EPISODE. Just another space filler for the epic resolution they better have ready. My prediction, Angela gets the balls to murder him and prevent 'BLOOD SHED'. Its her only purpose anymore, and the only reason she went back with TEAM WOODBERRY!

- J Saul

GMoney said...

You all have no idea how much delight and joy I took from watching Burke choke and then choke again. To quote Drugs Delaney from Outside Providence, I was "laughing like a bastard".

Brady, I teed that one up for you cock high on FB!

LS, with neanderthals like Drew and Ide filling the comments up with their nonsense daily, your intellect is greatly missed.

Here's a question for everyone: in a 5 game series, the team that wins four of those games is the better team, right? Thought so.

GMoney said...

DO NOT RESPOND TO JSAUL YET!!! He thinks that Angela is a character. LOL!

Did I drop a "team up Norf"? If so, I sincerely apologize.

Anonymous said...

ANDREAAA** Thats how worthless she is.


"Major LULZ to the Drew, the Sauls, and the rest of those pricks up north for getting their asses kicked by the CBJ....."

I'd say that's close enough?!

- J Saul

GMoney said...

Ruling: not the same. Point out a general direction on the map does not constitute being an Ohio Buckeye. After all, I have yet to say anything nice about Urban Meyer.

Speaking of NORF, should Brandon Knight just quit basketball? After Kyrie embarrassed the shit out of him during the rising stars game, Deandre Jordan flat out MURDERED him last night. Hilarious. That guy is going to live on in GIF form forever.

The Iceman said...

If G$ can get away with stupid shit like "Trey Burke sucks" then I can get away with anything downplaying a bad loss at home. See how that works? Good.

Who's Angela? From The Office??

The Iceman said...

Is Kyrie out for the year yet? Give him a week if he isn't. He shares the same vaginal canal that Varejao does.

Prime99 said...

Who knew the US was the only thing standing between the greatest war of all time? The US would help Canada and bomb the fuck out of Mexico in that scenario, right? Would dropping bombs on Mexico even change the landscape at all?

The Michigan basketball team... For me to POOP ON.

Anonymous said...

And while we are on the topic of Brandon Knight - we should probably talk about how awesome the Pistons have looked lately... Oh wait. 8 seed baby!!

Seal

GMoney said...

Kyrie has a "shoulder contusion". I'm sure that Cleveland's finest medical professionals are all over it and tomorrow we will find out that they gave him small pox.

Trey Burke does suck. I saw it with my own two eyes yesterday. But then again, I never thought that Steve Francis was that good either.

Seal, I can't wait to see what Joe Dumars does with his cap room this Summer. I hope he spends it as wisely as he did the last time. JJ Redick, how about a max contract!

GMoney said...

OFFICIAL ZOMBIE TIME:

*There is nothing that I like better than when Andrea and Glenn get put in their place. This was a great episode for that (at least initially). Andrea getting kicked out of the peace treaty summit and Merle telling Glenn to shut up was terrific.

*Merle made a great point. Go kill that fucker! You know where he is!

*BETH SHOOTING THE GUN LOLOLOLOL ROFLMFAO! I woke up the dog from laughing so hard.

*Milton is such a weiner. What kind of asshole writes a journal during the apocalypse? How has this nerd survived for so long? He's got to be gay.

*Daryl and Martinez having a killing contest and a zombie smoke break was nice to see. Honor among thieves and so on and so forth.

*Maggie needs to dump Glenn. Stop boning him. I can't be the only one that was twisting his head and squinting hoping to see some nip.

*About that summit, The Guv was terrific. Rick has no leverage at all and thus very few concessions should be made to him. Asking for Michonne only to kill them all anyway is predictable as is Rick seeing right through it but it should make for an interesting last three episodes of the season. I kind of like how Hersh went from annoying asshole to voice of reason. He is usually right. A smart leader would get them the fuck out of the prison instead of setting up for a war that theoretically they have no chance of winning. But Rick wants to watch everyone die so they will fight apparently.

It better not be Tyreese though. He's got little hoodrats to train. I thought that it was a good episode even though it was slow and a lot of good points were brought up (how the enemy is the undead; not the living, you dumbasses).

On an unrelated note: Frank Gallagher wearing an "I AM A RETARD" shirt was the greatest thing ever.

Anonymous said...

Sorry G$....Knight has OWNED Kyrie when they have faced off in real games this year. So that means he is better than him...using your logic.

--Drew

Prime99 said...

The Governor says he won't compromise. Then he says he will compromise if given Michonne. He's not consistent and Rick had better see through it.

Andrea needs to stop spreading rumors about Judy being Shane's. way to give the evil guy fucking emotional ammo.

Andrea would fuck Hitler if she could.

Martinez prefers menthols- LOLZ! I bet people on the show prefer the human race not roaming the Earth trying to eat the living, but take what you can get!

Nate said...

Not sure how my prediction from last week will still hold up regarding the two front war, but I'm getting a good feeling who is going to end up killing the Governor - MILTON.

In the preview for next episode, Andrea mentions how she needs to stop the governor, but Milton tells her she no longer has access to the Governor. So, the final episode of the season is probably going to have Andrea and Rick both trying to kill the governor with no luck until the only person with access to him is able to do it - MILTON.

Plus, last night's episode was the first time Milton directly challenged the Governor - "But that IS a slaughter...".

Considering Milton's conversations with Hershel, it's clear Milton doesn't want the people at the prison to die.

The Iceman said...

This was a dumb fucking episode. Rick has murdered less dangerous people for worse reasons throughout this series. The fact he didn't put one through the Guvnah's head as soon as he took his weapon belt off was soooo dumb. Rick could have and should have ended it right there. That ruined everything for me last night.

The actress that plays Maggie also ruined Maggie's appeal for me as well. She was on the Talking Dead last night and much to my dismay...SHE'S BRITISH! But hold the phone!! She was born and raised in the US until she was in her TEENS!! Then lived in the UK for the next 10ish years. Get fucked with your fake British accent. Those people bother the fucking shit out of me. You're American, dammit. Act like it.

I still don't know why those walkers are still in the prison yard. They have Michonne and vehicles. Take care of the problem already. You can even have Mordan burn the bodies for you! He loves it!!

Mearle is TOTES gonna get kilt by either Glen or fake British accent Maggie.

I feel like this needs to be repeated. Last night's episode was stoops.

Anonymous said...

Last night's episode of "The Walking Dead" epitomizes mediocrity, just like michigan basketball & trey burke.

What a choke. Thanks Ace for not sounding as ridiculous as Iceman today. This team deserves the 5 seed and them getting to the semis in the B10 tourney or the sweet 16 seem like a stretch at this point.

michigan sucks

Buke

GMoney said...

I knew that real-life Maggie was British because I am a terrific stalker. It does not bother me.

STOP WATCHING THAT AFTER-SHOW!

Nate's obsession with weiner Milton is troubling.

I forgot about Martinez wanting a menthol. Probably also could have gone for some scratch-off lottery tickets, too.

Iceman, my thought on why they aren't getting rid of the yard walkers is that The Guv blew up two of their gates and they can't repair them. They still have their area cordoned off but not the other one or two so it doesn't really matter if the biters are out there. Plus, it's a risk that might not be worth taking.

LOL Drew keeps digging himself into a deeper hole. Let's just bury him alive already and make this a better place for all of us.

On Grantland's Most Hated Players of the last 30 Years bracket, Aaron Craft clocks in as a 7 seed. I would have had him higher.

Anonymous said...

Leaving Boozer off that list is criminal.

The Walking Dead was ok. I wish theyd stop being faggots and go for bloodshed already.

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

I will be extremely disappointed if Michigan doesn't make it to the sweet sixteen. I don't think it's a stretch. Depends on the matchups, obvs, but tournament basketball is different than B1G basketball and that will suit our game better. Michigan was getting after it on defense for the first time ever. However, that same intensity was not brought when rebounding.

I only saw half of TWD last night. Seemed like little action and a lot of character building, ie Martinez and Milton. Meh.

Where the fuck are the sniper rifles in this zombie world? I would totes just camp out around Woodbury and snipe the Guvnah and his henchmen.

Mr. Ace said...

That most hated bracket NEEDS Grievas Vasquez. Hated that fucker for Maryland. And that fucking daywalking albino Kyle Singler

GMoney said...

When Greg Paulus is an 8 seed in the Duke bracket, you know that it was tightly contested to get into their side.

I still can't get over how bad Mitch McGary is as anything other than an oaf. To get all Game of Thrones (3 more weeks!), he is House of Michigan's Hodor. Man, that was an ELITE reference.

GMoney said...

Pussy Hurtin' to the Sea Chickens??? Dammit, the legend of Rusty Wilson is just going to get bigger and more annoying now.

The Iceman said...

"I knew that real-life Maggie was British because I am a terrific stalker."

But she's not. She's American with a fake accent.

Mr. Ace said...

Rick, Morgan, and Maggie are British...who else?

Deangelo Hall released by the Skins! Sad day for G$.

GMoney said...

Fine. More Mom-Ass for me, queer. You and Beth can go shoot ceilings together.

47 comments today and no Grumpy?

(checks Facebook)

LOL! He checked himself in at whatever the Hyde Park Hitching Post is! Looks like the old man traveled back to 1875!

Prime99 said...

Hodor!

Anonymous said...

Dragon talk > Zombie talk.

It is known.

Ide

GMoney said...

If I recall, the amount of dragon talk is far less than that of the undead variety. So I think that your symbol should be pointed in the other direction.

Anonymous said...

It is sad that less people watch such a superior show.

Kahleesi is hotter than mom ass. Even if she was ravaged by a horse lord.

Ide

Prime99 said...

Margary Tyrell is hotter than both Maggie and Daenyrius.