|U wanna massage?|
*Rory McIlroy quit a tournament over the weekend due to a tooth ache. Just a reminder that Tiger won the US Open with a ripped up knee. LOL!
*Anyone who participates in a Harlem Shake video or thinks that they are cute/funny. They are dumber than a day old minority. LOL!
*The Cubs opening day starter is Jeff Samardzija. DOUBLE LOL!
*Have you seen that new video by The Golf Boys? How many times did they have to re-shoot a scene because Bubba Watson was crying like a pussy? LOL!
*Mike Trout showing up to Spring Training looking like Miguel Cabrera and then stupid people whining about his contract. LOLZ!
*ESPN gave Mike Lupica his own national radio show even though he is the fucking worst. LOLOLOLOL!
*Serge Ibaka speed-bagging Blake Griffin’s ballbag! I’m liking how basketball is becoming less of a game of skill and more of a contest on who can punch the other person’s gonads harder. LULZ!
*Dennis Rodman: International Goodwill Ambassador! That Greek midget calling him a dipshit on TV was about the most fitting way for that story to end. LOL!
*The Marine 3: Homefront was released on Blu-Ray yesterday. It stars The Miz because that makes sense. How the hell did the guy that played Robert Quarles on Justified end up following that terrific role with a movie starring Mike Mizanin? LOL!
*Whoever lost last night’s IU/Ohio Buckeyes game! Also LOL-worthy is the Ohio Buckeyes football schedule this year but you already knew that. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
And now we have reached the main event. This is Tonya’s finest contribution to this site since she started showing up around here to deflect all of Drew’s sexual harassment. The full transcript is available upon request, but here are my Fave Five J-Rupe quotes from he and T-Sizzle’s torrid internet love affair. The spelling and grammar are fucking horrific as you would expect.
-I wanna od or cut myself. I feel that bad
-I havent touched a girl for 2 yrs. Thats the truth. I need u to break me in lol
-I just dont fuck no more i mean i could get it everyday if i want but im not like that. So do ya wanna have some fun?
-Well then come over i will keep u very busy;). Now dont get scared of bigdaddy now lol
-So if id cum fast can u still get me hard:). Get ur ass over here than i will keep u wide awake and u wont be tired till a few hrs later:)
WHO SAYS THAT TO A STRANGER!!! J-RUPE SON! Gentlemen, this is how a true Casanova interacts with the opposite sex. I can’t think of a better way to end LOLDAY. J-Rupe 4 Life/Death…whichever he decides. Tonya sure knows how to pick winners…