Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Karma is a Beautiful Thing

Bad news: Out for the year.  Good news: He finally knows what a pussy feels like.



Over the weekend I ran into a curious predicament.  One that really made me put the thinking thong on.  I've already asked the opinion of a select few from the comment section so I'll open up the situation to see what the consensus is here.

The sitch:

My fantasy basketball team is already in the playoffs and cannot improve in playoff seeding regardless of what plays out in the last week of the season.  The team I'm facing in the final week (started yesterday) is the 5th highest scoring team, barely checks their roster and needs to beat me in order to make the playoffs.  Meanwhile, the top scoring team is facing the 4th highest scoring team.  The winner of that match up is in the playoffs and the loser is out as long as the team I play beats me.  If I win my match up then both teams from the other match up both make it no matter who wins in my match up.

The question:

Do I purposely tank my match up to get a weaker team in and keep a stronger team out?  Or...do I play it out like I normally would and let the fantasy gods determine the fate of the teams involved?  SUB question...Is tanking on purpose dirty, shady, insert negative connotation here, or perfectly legal and socially acceptable?

For the record here are the responses I've received.

Iceman - TOTES fine to tank.  I'm just improving my chance at winning money.  It's strictly business and if you really deserved to be in the playoffs you should have handled your own business earlier in the year when you were losing to bottom feeders.  You're in that position for a reason and deserve to be at the mercy of the court.  MY fucking court.

G$ - Bad Karma.  You should fear no other man. (a man of few words and fewer brain cells and still fewer testicles)

BradyCakes - All is fair.  As long as you're not releasing top players for others to pick up (not sure why my playoff bound roster would be doing that but we are talking about BradyCakes, here) I think it's all good.  Dick move but legal.  Someone will probably be pissed at you for it but whatever.  They should have won another week to stay out of that scenario in the first place.  (It should be noted that Brady then told me he was getting back to his "2 Broke Girls" marathon).

Prime - Pretty dirty but who cares? (Not a lot to say for commenter of the year.  Pretty uneventful response if you ask me)

So what do the rest of you think?  I'm seriously curious where everyone stands on this issue.  For all of the fantasy sports we play collectively here, I'm sure there are vastly different opinions and I would love to know what you think and why.

In other news:







Suck my shit, G$.  This is what happens to the trollest of trollies.  You may seriously think that Trey Burke sucks because you huffed to many Kevin Milius farts in high school, but at least Burke's body isn't forged from the deteriorating vagina skin of Betty White.  The Cavs should make Irving wear a fucking dress for these next 3-4 weeks he's out being a dripping wet gash.  Is Irving ever going to play a full season?  Is Commenter Drew right when he says that Irving's whole body is made from Greg Oden's knees?  Do the Cavs spend a lottery pick on Trey Burke SICK so they can finally have a real PG with real man balls and huge guy cock?  Will the Cavs be more aggressive to sign Greg Oden so Irving has an ice bath buddy next year?  Does G$ TOTES deserve this?  Can we finally all agree that Pussy Irving is injury prone?  This is the best set of news I've heard in awhile.

Speaking of pussies and total dick bag shit lickers...Chris Wells was released yesterday!  HOOOO BOY!  What a career so far by a guy I'm sure BradyCakes anointed as the next Earl Campbell upon leaving Columbus for the NFL.  Only 24 years old and already time for the glue factory.  At least he has that Origami degree from Ohio University in Columbus to fall back on.  Unless you can name an NFL team in hot pursuit of a fat, slow running back with creaky knees and zero pass blocking ability.  I know...there's probably a lot of them out there! /fart noise.

Two things about this Harvin deal  First...people need to stop saying shit like "so and so is untradeable or we will not trade this guy".  Every fucking person has a price and it's just a matter of whether or not there is someone out there crazy enough to meet your demands.  You just look dumb as shit when you say Percy Harvin will not be traded, then trade him 6 months later.  Oh...and the reason Harvin wanted out is so LOLZ.  He claims Ponder sucks and wants a better QB.  Yeah, Ponder does kinda suck but I wouldn't be brow beating a guy who had you on pace to catch 111 balls last year and helped you reach your best statistical year to date.  Second...Seahawks are gonna be pretty God damn sick next year.  I'm sure they're Cowfucker's preseason Super Bowl favorite.  Lock it up.

The 49ers love old wide receivers with deteriorating skills.  Welcome to San Francisco, Anquan Boldin.  You're the new Randy Moss with less West Virginia.  And that was a total BRAH move by Ozzie Newsome to score at least a 7th round pick for a guy they were going to release anyway.  CLASSIC!

That's all I've got, boys.  Feel free to discuss other NFL off season moves like the Redskins cutting the BEST GOD DAMN DB IN THE FUCKING LEAGUE DeAngelo Hall or the Pats trying to sign future murderer Aqib Talib to a long term deal.  And please let's not forget to repeatedly remind G$ today that terrible things happen to terrible people who constantly troll great players like Trey Burke SICK.  REAP IT!

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ anybody that doesn't think Kyrie isn't injury prone at this point. Dude's vagina is constantly leaking.

I saw a picture of Beanie in Columbus working out the other day...shirtless (hot)....he's about as cut up as a person can be...ain't even close to fat. Definitely nothing special as an NFL RB tho.

Play out your fantasy season like a real man.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

It's a dick move, but you're a dick so it's to be expected.

MuDawgfan said...

With Turner's big ass gone, I hope the Falcons take a run at Beanie.

He certainly can't be that expensive.


I'm headed to New Orleans for the first time this weekend for a Bachelor party! Any places to avoid? Places I should hit up fo sho?

GMoney said...

Dawg, no need to go to strip clubs, I'm told. That was a surprising bit of news I got the last time I was there. And I heard this from someone who is an expert on strip clubs. My only advice is to bring cash and lots of it. That city doesn't believe in credit cards all that much.

Cowherd might believe it but so does Vegas who has Seattle and San Fran as the Super Bowl faves at 5:1. I don't really agree with that but they make more money than I do.

I fail to see how missing three weeks at the end of a lost season to an injury that he has never had before makes one injury prone. Of course I would like to see him play every game but his style makes him take a beating. If Kyrie is a pussy, then what is Derrick Rose? That guy has been cleared to play but is afraid of dunking or something.

I stand by my statement about not tanking. Have some honor. Anyone can troll. You will be rewarded. No one likes people who take a dive/flop.

GMoney said...

Just to clarify, I wish (I was a little bit taller) that Kyrie didn't always get banged up but these are all minor injuries so hopefully, once we are competing for titles next year(!), he can overcome.

It's for the Dion Waiters Show who, by the way, could finish runner-up in ROY to Lillard.

Anonymous said...

Do it, Iceman, you pussy. This topic comes up at least once a season with no one actually doing it. Actually do it!

Cavs are going to draft Shabazz. LOL!

Ide

The Iceman said...

He's injury prone because there isn't a single part of his body that can hold up in a full NBA season. Or a shortened NBA season for that matter. If we're failing to see things, then I fail to see how you think being injury prone only applies to multiple injuries to the same body part. What does it matter if he's out with a foot for 10 weeks, then a right shoulder for 6 then a hand for 5 then a finger for 3 and a left shoulder for 3? He's still missing time huge chunks of time and keeps hurting his pussy body.

He's had 7 different injuries that has caused him to miss significant time over the past 2 years. It's time to slap the label on him. He's on any other team and you agree with us, you homer.

Jeff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff said...

March is for CBB talk, not the NBA. I have faith no matter what you choose to do with your team they will flop in the playoffs.

GMoney said...

He's still just 20. And his medical history aside, if you ask me to start a team and I have a pick between 6-10, Kyrie is going somewhere in that mix.

I don't think that the Cavs will take Shabazz because Byron Scott would murder him within the first week of training camp.

By the way, Byron Mullens is in a huge slump right now and has been benched in favor of Josh McRoberts. So sad.

GMoney said...

Jeff, makes a good point. We are all rooting against you.

Anonymous said...

As an extremely casual fan (read: not a fan at all) of the NBA, it seems to me that Kyrie is injured every damn time I turn on the great Bruce Drennan. He was injured at Duke. I think it's time to call a spade a spade.

Iceman, you play to win. Doing shit like that will eventually come back to bite you.

-Damman

Mr. Ace said...

ICEMAN, does tanking improve your chances of winning in the playoffs? Real simple.

Kyrie is injury prone. If he isn't then who the fuck is?

How about the Spurs cockslapping the Thunder without Parker last night? WE ON.

Prime99 said...

Just because my response was sussinct, does not make it less true. It's dirty but you put yourself in the driver's seat and can make whatever decision you want.

DERRICK ROSE'S HAMSTRINGS ARE ON FIRE!!!!!

GMoney said...

If you tank then you are admitting that you are afraid. You may think that you're being a terrific asshole, but everyone knows that you are just being a gash.

Take the high road. Crush them all. Leave no doubt. It's what I do in the DFL. I've World's Strongest Slammed every last fucker in that league the right way...with 100% pure raping force.

No one would ever question Kyrie if the Cleveland Clinic wasn't responsible for his health. That entire goddamn place is run by Dr. Nick Riviera.

GMoney said...

Also: REDHAWKS ELIMINATE BOWLIN' GREEN FROM THE WORLD LAST NIGHT IN THEIR BARN!!! Bring on EMU!

WE ON!

Ice Man said...

So if Kyrie isn't injury prone, does that mean McFadden isn't either? He's young, too. Of does football not count because its more violent? What about Andrew Bogut? He has a different injury every year. Are you saying Bogut isn't injury prone?

I don't see how it's dirty. Depending on me to make the playoffs is almost as slimy as me making sure you're not in. If your team was really deserving of a spot then you wouldn't be in the current spot you're in. I'm just giving myself the best odds statistically by ensuring a top 4 scoring team is out.

GMoney said...

Bogut is a repulsive-looking man and anyone that resembles him should be taken out back and shot.

It sounds like you're going to throw the last week anyway so why did you even ask our opinion, assbutt?

I'm not going to get suckered in to another debate on what defines "injury prone" again. Let's just put this to rest by saying that people that I like get the benefit of the doubt.

Anonymous said...

Well, it appears Iceman and myself were right about Kyrie being injury prone and G$ and Slow Seal were wrong. Chalk up another victory over those fools.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

Kyrie will soon have a staph infection.

GMoney said...

Just like you were right about Sullinger's back...suck all the dicks.

Ice Man said...

I pray I get the opportunity to tank and keep G$ out of the playoffs.

Anonymous said...

G$ had the opportunity to do this with Dut a couple years go, but he was a gash and didn't. But he should have.

Today would've been RIPE for a HarBRAH's post on trading a moulignon between the two of them. Man, you really missed a prime topic, there.

Ide

Ice Man said...

I don't want to give you guys BRAH overload. Besides...I'm sure they're both in Baltimore trying to Ice the grave of Art Modell (I assume he's buried there. I really don't give enough fucks to look it up).

GMoney said...

Prime is bitching that the robot verification is too difficult to read now. Is anyone else having this problem or should we make him wear the Frank Gallagher "I AM A RETARD" shirt?

Grumpy said...

Make him wear the shirt. Does he know you can refresh and get a new code?

GMoney said...

Grump, Prime says "tell Grumpy to shut his pie hole and put on his Oops, I Crapped My Pants". I may have added the second part.

Anonymous said...

Prime,

Notice that refresh button next to they text box? It is there in case you can't read the words.

Computers are hard.

You are retarded.

Ide

GMoney said...

Let's show a little respect for 2012 Commenter of the Year. Then again, it ain't 2012 anymore and it's hard to go back-to-back if you can't read. DOWN WITH PRIME!

Prime99 said...

Fuck off butt-fuckers.

I will keep going until this comment is posted because my hate for you is stronger than Ide's desire to listen to "Hey Soul Sister on repeat every day.

GMoney said...

Watch your tone, mister mister!

Ice Man said...

Reginald Bush to the Lions sounds like a done deal. LOLZ! Have fun over paying for injury prone Darren Sproles. Did this team secretly rehire Matt Millen??

The Iceman said...

Willie PoopTube gone. Another Steeler bites the dust.

GMoney said...

Does anyone have any clue who Willie PoopTube is? I assume that is Willie Colon? Does anyone even care about his whereabouts? Save the free agent news. That is for tomorrow apparently.

The Iceman said...

Don't downplay my awesome ability for play on words.

GMoney said...

I thought that PoopTube was the nickname of Willie Parker because he was always such a shit player. Count it.