Monday, March 04, 2013

It's March. You Know This. Let's Talk Hoops.

Shall we ice now or shall we ice later?
Before I start firing out a bunch of thoughts on college basketball that I may not really be qualified to share, how about an amusing story first.  So I was at the casino on Saturday night and the place was jam packed with Arnold Classic meatheads and fans of Morris Day and The Time.  The former had numerous amazons that would have been paradise for A-Rod (and apparently Dut judging by his Facebook pictures).  The latter brought all of these old school, horribly dressed aging black men who all looked like extras from numerous Sanford and Son episodes.  It was quite an eclectic mix.  I liked it.

Anyway, after an average performance in the poker room, Damman and I took a run at the blackjack tables.  I got shockingly hot (for me at least since I am a garbage blackjack player) and managed to come out dead even on the night.  Right before we got up to leave, this dumb Mexican sat down at the table and wanted to play with two of his migrant worker friends watching.  He put $20 on the table even though the minimum was $25.  The dealer told him he needed to put out more money.  He just smiled.  The dealer said it two or three more times.  He kept smiling.  Eventually, he just picked up his wadded up 20 and left.  It was terrific.  Mexicans are great comedy fodder.  And I mention this as a horrible segue that I made a huge pot of chili with beans yesterday.  It was amazing because beans are great.  DEAL WITH IT.  Anyway, on with the hoops talk:

Ryan Kelly is the greatest player of all time - I'm getting sick and tired of hearing about this Gorgon being the heart and soul of heartless and soulless program.  The guy sucks.  There, I said it.  I don't care that he dropped 36 fluke points on The U.  As always, it is going to be a great day when Duke gets knocked out of the tournament.

Georgetown is a 1 seed??? - So says Joey Brackets!  I have a hard time believing this since the Hoyas haven't won a tournament game since the Kaiser was running Germany.  JTIII is sort of assy as a coach.  While G'Town is almost always as OVERRATED as Peyton Manning, I really like Otto Porter.  He is definitely on my top 3 list of guys I want the Cavs to draft this year (no Shabazz; Porter, Oladipo, and McLemore are MY GUYS!).  If you wanted to see a 16 beat a 1 though, you should root for the Hoyas or Michigan to be on the top line.

Sorry, Seal, but UK ain't getting in - I watched them lose to a fairly average Arkansas team on Saturday and I'm just not seeing it.  That can change with a home win over Florida this week, but, ugh, that does not look like a team peaking at the right time.  Never forget your championship though.

Sorry again, Seal, but neither is Akron - LOL Dambrot is such a dipshit.  Keep racking up those 25-6 seasons only to not even be considered as an at-large team because you refuse to play anyone.  It's like they're playing chicken with the selection committee and the NCAA is all like "you're not going to win, troll".  Getting crushed by a bad Buffalo team on Saturday has left the MAC with only one possible bid for Ohio and Akron (no one else has a chance).  I hate both of them.

Coach K is still a Satanic Rat - I'm normally against court stormings and it has been talked about hear ad nauseum in the past, but if Rat Boy wants it banned then I have no other choice than to demand it happen after every game.  You know, just like they do at Ohio U because they are stupid as fuck.

Is Gonzaga the #1 overall seed? - Who cares?  There is no advantage to being the #1 #1.  Did I miss where they give you a bye to the title game?  I don't really trust the Zags though.  They're bigs are terrific but the guards are sketchy.

Trey Burke Sucks - I'm writing this before the Sparty/TBS game and I'll just assume that Aaron Craft's Bitch remains bad.  I also assume that Sparty will roll since they are way better than Penn State.  Remember when you lost to them?  WE ON!

Plenty of stuff to talk about today and I didn't even have to troll-poke the big retarded bear in the room.  If you think that I'm talking about you it's because I am.  Speaking of bears, I watched Ted yesterday.  I wasn't sure that I'd like it but was most definitely wrong.  Even my stupid wife thought it was great.  I give it two paws up.  Count it.


Anonymous said...

Gonzaga has played a shit-tier schedule and struggled with anybody remotely good. They might not even make the sweet 16.

Georgetown is very good.

Coach K calling Ryan Kelly's effort of drilling a bunch of wide open threes "a performance for the ages" was one of the most ridiculous quotes I've ever heard.


Grumpy said...

Dude hadn't played in almost two months and barely practiced. That was some performance.

Drew also thinks Ohio hockey will be a favorite in a league with Minn., Wisconsin, Michigan and Sparty. Drew don't know college hockey.

Anonymous said...

Nothing like an average day of gambling to segue into a story of putting beans in your chili. Way to be poor. Next time don't hit on fifteen with a six showing and you could afford more meat.

That Coach K statement really pisses me off.

The end of that UM game was just terrible for all who participated. UM choking harder than the Fab Five only to be capped off by the worst drawn up in bounds play in history. But UM winning helps OSU snap a FOURF-peat, and thats ok.


GMoney said...

I just can't take Ryan Kelly seriously when he looks like the gayest lumberjack of all time.

The last CCHA champion ever. Suck noggs, noggs!

It was a brilliant segue. Kidney AND white was to die for. As a reminder, I was making chili and not meat soup.

You better believe that Iceman was quick on the text once WE ON won last night. That's cute. I'm in his head. He's just lucky that Luke Appling is the worst player in the Big Ten.

Has a 1 or 2 seed ever been an underdog in the first round? Because WE ON should be as they are terrible and led by Aaron Craft's Bitch.

Anonymous said...

Complete agree with Drew - Gonzaga has played a shit schedule, and whenever they play someone decent, they struggle. And they lost to Butler.

Kelly did the exact same thing he has done for the past two months when Grumpy says he wasnt practicing. Stood at the 3-point line and took wide-open jumpers, then didnt play any defense.

UK is not good. The only hope of getting in is beating Florida this week, and that is not happenening.

LOL at Akron - I will be in attendance when the Zips host your QueerHawks tomorrow. I THOUGHT this would be another win in the streak. Fucking Buffalo - Akron doesnt deserve a bid after that embarrasement.

How bad is Syracuse? Louisville is going deep in this tourny.

I still think Miami is a 1 seed. I fucking hate the U, but there is something I kind of like about that team. Barry Larkin's son is fucking good.


Anonymous said...

"Has a 1 or 2 seed ever been an underdog in the first round? Because WE ON should be as they are terrible and led by Aaron Craft's Bitch."

What a desperate troll up to your troll attempt in this post. Trey Burke on last night and Michigan with the quality win.

To back up your baseless attempt at trolling, can you debate 6-8 possible 15/16 seed teams that would be the Favorite against Michigan? I can't seem to think of one....

Gonna be alot of ugly brackets this year......

- J Saul

GMoney said...

I disagree on Louisville. They will not make the ELITE 8. Only that white dude can shoot outside of ten feet.

Get ready to see a team play horrible up tempo basketball without any of the personnel required to play up tempo basketball tomorrow!

To be fair, the Zags lost to Butler on a TOTES fluke play. And their coach has bad teeth.

I dislike Willie Cauley-Stein very much. I'm not sure why but he rubs me the wrong way.

Thanks, Ben Howland, for telling everyone at a weird time that Shabazz is going pro even though everyone already knew it. That kid is a basket case.

GMoney said...

JSaul, all of them. All of them are better than We On. I don't even have to do the legwork or research because I know that they will all be favored. Teams lead by a Starbury are put on the planet to lose. And you are.

While most of you disagree with hashtag Trey Burke Sucks, we can all agree that that Stauskas kid is ass, right? As is Fag Hardaway Jr.

Prime99 said...

I just googled the We On slogan to see what it meant. Pretty gay stuff. It should be We Ois unless you are talking about operating N'Sync.

Anonymous said...

I think you are struggling to live in a world where both Michigan and OSU fans are obnoxious. Your trolling is hitting new lows....

I'd say Stauskas hasn't completely hit his potential, and Tim was fantastic in the first half but has seem to hit some sort of a lull. By no means are they ass though hahahahaha.

If you want to see ass players, keep tuning into you stellar matchups such as Miami OH and Akron Zips.

- J Saul

GMoney said...

Even if it was on TV, I would not be watching the RedHawks. Your jabs do not bother me. I've come to terms with it. Unlike you, the rest of We On Nation, and the turd suckers worldwide who allow me to constantly get under your skin.

I am your superior.

In all serious though, I hate watching this Michigan team. I hate it. It's bad basketball. I don't like watching a guy dribble for 25 seconds and then someone chucks up a terrible three pointer. It's all 1-on-1 and it is not my thing. You want to know why I hate you? That is why. Plus, Trey Burke Sucks.

Brady said...

Mmmmmmm... Meat soup.

The Big Ten is either the greatest league of all time or just a clusterfuck. I can't really tell. I just hope somebody from the league makes a deep run in the tourney to justify all of the hype this season.

"We On" is just plain awful. I thought UM was a smart school? Who the fuck came up with that?

Mr. Ace said...

TREY BURKE SICK! Troll so hard all you want, but he shut that fucking game down yesterday and put the team on his back like Greg Jennings. POY.

Where does the Stauskas comment come from? I do somewhat agree with you, especially over the last month, but the kid played 3 minutes before catching a peoples elbow and not returning to the game.

Your trolling lacks STREMPH today.

I wish they never would have said what WE ON stood for, because that made it kind of gay. However, I am just going to pretend it is not an acronym and instead just an awesome use of poor english skills.

March Madness will be fucking crazy this year. Indiana is the most consistent team, but nobody is has completely separated themselves from the field.

Mr. Ace said...

Lol G$ and your lack of basketball acumen. DID YOU WATCH THE FUCKING GAME YESTERDAY? We didn't hit a single fucking 3, and only took 12 of them. Our ball movement was great, cutters were getting free, and Trey wasn't dribbling the air out of the ball. I was very pleased with our offense considering we basically swapped Stauskas for Levert for the entire game.

You're having a Drew moment. Take deep breaths.

The Iceman said...

G$ is gonna love it when Gilbert drafts someone from this Michigan team to the Cavs. G$ will probably buy that guy's jersey since he's proven he's the hypocrite's hypocrite.

Stauskas has definitely taken a step backwards since the competition has gotten better. But he's just a Freshman and a great shooter. He'll figure it out. What I like the most about him is that he doesn't camp around the line like I did. But in my defense I was the best shooter to ever pick up a basketball and had no business shooting anything but 3 balls.

I can't wait to hear what comes out of G$'s blab hole when Burke wins player of the year.

Anonymous said...

You win on the We On, although I don't think anyone in this corner of the dirty internet will argue that WE ON is a cool and trendy team slogan.

They should stick with known gems like 'No Limit Soldiers' and 'BIG STICKS'.

Its hard to be on 100% G$, we get that. I mean your piece today gets you a solid 90% A-. You just lost 10% for your terrible attempts at trolling (maybe you would have left that piece out if you wrote this after the MSU game?)

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

Burke is not winning POY over Oladipo, ever. The lack of 3s yesterday was truly impressive, however, it was a home game in March. I'm sorry, but, if you want to make a run in the tourney, now is the time you should be winning these games. Having said that, feel free to beat IU, thanks.

Forget the NCAA tourney, the Big Ten Tournament is going to be apeshit. After day one, it is going to be a weekend of solid basketball. Really, any team could run away with it (aside from PSU (unless they play UM)).


GMoney said...

Yes, this would have read a lot different had I written this at 6:30 instead of 4 as I was watching a lovely Jackets victory. But I do not apologize for attacking a team that lost to Penn State. NEVER FORGET.

So you only took and missed all 12 threes yesterday. So what. That's one game. How many do you average per game? It has to be at least 18. I stand by my stereotype of your painful to watch offense.

LOL at the idea of me buying a basketball jersey.

How is Trey Burke Sucks going to win POY when that is clearly going to Ryan Kelly? Even if you're talking about Big Ten POY and not the Naismith, Ryan Kelly is going to somehow win Big Ten POY, too, according to all talking heads.

Oladipo is the POY anyway.

The Stauskus comment comes from people (probably you) talking about how great he was in December and every time I watch them he's a ghost and not just because of his skin tone.

How has Mitch McGary only attempted 25 free throws this year before yesterday? That is all you need to know for me being right about your offense and shot selection. COUNT IT.

I win. Put me back up to 100% where I belong. I ON!

Prime99 said...

UM fans to their team in the tourney- "you're tearing up our hearts."

Did I just reference my own dumb joke from earlier? Yep. I ON also.

Anonymous said...

Grumpy...I said next season and that's what hockey people say too. Your comment sounds dumb when OSU finished ahed of UM and MSU th is year.

Ape...calm down a bit. You can't say "Burke shut the fucking game down" when he missed a couple layups and had a big turnover in the final few minutes.


Mr. Ace said...

Drew, he scored the winning basket and turned the opposing team over twice on their last two possessions. He may not have been perfect in the last five minutes, but he absolutely shut that fucking game down.

Also, floor slap in front of Sparty bench was ELITE.

McGary only plays 17 minutes a game. OBVS we aren't a post oriented team, but WE JUST BEAT SPARTY WITHOUT MAKING A 3! INSIDE GAME, BIAAATCH.

Jeff said...

You beat sparty by 1 at home, lost by a billion in their house. They're clearly the better team.

March college bball sure is fun.

I was at the Jackets game yesterday. 2-0 season record when I'm in attendance! I plan on being the streak buster next Tuesday when the blackhawks come to town.

Grumpy said...

Drew, look at history; Michigan's hockey this season is an aberration. You will never finish ahead of Wisconsin, Minn. or Michigan. Count it.

And what's up with copying the football team's helmets? That is terrible.

Anonymous said...

Gee Golly Jeff but that logic we could spend all day summarizing all sorts of troofs!!

- J Saul

GMoney said...


*Last night's episode is what we in the TV business call a "bottle episode". If you don't know what that is then you are dumber than a WE ON basketball fan/Ohio Buckeyes football fan.

*That was the best episode since the second half of season three started. For a show that is terribly written and acted, that was terrific TV.

*RIP weirdo camping guy. Your backpack is in better hands now. I would love to know how your granola-eating ass made it that long.

*My biggest pet peeve was them not acknowledging that Morgan was still out there. I'm glad that we finally got some ELITE closure on that storyline. That guy can act. Not to be a pussy, but it was sort of heartbreaking to hear him tell that story of how his son died and he was too much of a gash to prevent it. His boobytrapping skills were not OVERRATED though.

*I wish that Morgan went with the group but I TOTES get why he stayed. He's a dead man walking and he knows it. He doesn't want hope.

*Michonne FINALLY has been given a personality and I'm starting to like her. She did more parenting to Deputy Dipshit (awful again!) in this episode than Rick has done in three seasons. And she has a taste for horrible art!

*Rick can apparently shake off a stab wound to the chest. This man can not be killed.

*I think that there are 4 more epsidoes left and the prison is now re-stocked (they better have taken some of those grenades because everything is better with grenades). Let's start this war!

Anonymous said...

It's weird. When I realized what the episode was going to become, I braced for the worst. Yet, I loved this episode.

Morgan is a great actor. He was awesome as that pimp on the underrated show Hung. Popping a shiv in Rick was necessary as well.

Michonne eating Morgans snacks was great. "Mat said Welcome".

Carl, never apologize, you fucking slit.

Stealing the backpack at the end was completely awesome. I totally thought (wished) that backpacker was Ace.

I love that everyone in the post zombie world is completely unhinged and talks to dead people. Get in line Rick, you are not special.


Nate said...

So is it obvious to everybody else how this war is going to play out?

Woodbury sends two fronts on the prison. One front will fire from the woods while another front gets sent in with Tyreese through the hole in the rear of the prison.

All of the weaker characters (Glenn, Maggie, Hershel, Carol, and Carl) fire on the Woodburies at the perimeter while Merle, Daryl, Rick, and Michonne are alerted to the intruders who have found their way into the prison.

After the dust settles, a few survivors (governor included) limp back to Woodbury. Andrea gets fingerblasted by Philip one last time before Rick and Company invade Woodbury and clean up what's left.

Prime99 said...

Great call on the grenades, G$. They are necessary.

This episode was fucking awesome. Morgan's axe dripping with blood that said "TOLD YOU" was great.

Michonne actually talking was cool, and her and Carl in the bar was the type of action this show needs more of.

GMoney said...

Grenades make everything better everywhere except for the Jersey Shore.

Nate, I think you're on to something but I have a feeling that The Gov survives the season. You don't give a guy an eye patch and then cut him loose.

I was disappointed that they got a crib. That mail box was doing a fine job holding Li'l Asskicker.

LOL at Rick not even questioning why it took those two hours to get a crib from a store that was ten feet away. Great dad.

Prime99 said...

The joke from Talking Dead was pretty funny:

"Now that Judith has a pic of her mom, where are they going to find a pic Shane so she has one of her dad?"

GMoney said...

Stop watching that show, queerbate. It embarrasses all of us. You should be rooting for Chris Hardwick to get less work, not more.

The Iceman said...

From the talking dead last night: (yeah, that's right. I watch it, wannafightaboutit??) That's cool Judith will now know what her mom looks like. Now where can they get a picture of Shane so she knows what her dad looks like?


But yeah...this was a tits episode. Deputy Dipshit is quickly becoming a salty little asshole. I kinda like it. He's repairing some of the damage he did in the first 2 seasons.

The best part about Morgan's return was the fact that it was really dark and fucked up. I would've been pissed if everything was hearts and rainbows between him and Rick a year after Morgan saved Rick. That was EXACTLY how the reunion needed to go.

GMoney said...

Of course Iceman would be on Team Deputy Dipshit. It made all the sense in the world for him to go on a scavenger hunt by himself instead of bringing along the sword-wielding she-beast. Carl is getting dumber which makes sense since this show takes place in the deep South.

The Iceman said...

Pump the brakes, G$. I am not Team DD. I simply said he's been surprisingly tolerable ever since he had to shoot his whore mother in the face and leave her to be binge eaten.

I think Guvnah dies in the end. TV shows rarely take a villain type more than 1 season. At least they usually don't in the shows I watch. The bad guy usually gives way to introduce a new one in the next season.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else find it hilarious that Morgan went all tribal with his booby traps?

Its like they say, can take em out of africa, but can't take the africa out of em....

- J Saul

GMoney said...

I was really hoping to see that welcome mat stab thing in action. That thing was genius.

Carl will never be tolerable with that hat on.

Anonymous said...

J Saul won the day.