Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Post Super Bowl Hangover...Literally and Figuratively

                                    G$'s Super Bowl drink of choice.

Well, since I broke my brain and eviscerated my liver Sunday night, you're not getting my best effort today.  But that's okay...I think over the years I've done a pretty good job at letting you fuckers down so I'm sure you'll all survive.  Maybe next year I'll get G$'s super secret Super Bowl Shirley Temple recipe and party like a true man.

So what about today?  I considered talking more about the Super Bowl and how Jim HarBRAH is being a whiny puss about the Crabtree non call that could have gone either way...but unlike Damman crooning hefty bitches jokes, talking Super Bowl related things is getting old.  And...I don't think we've spent enough time talking college basketball 'round here.  Plus I think we can all agree that Drew and Seal's Internet slap fights are always good for an afternoon of mild entertainment.  All ELITE reasons right there.  Let's get started.

Nerlens Noel is a lot better than Drew is allowing himself to believe.  Listen...he isn't The Brizzow and I really don't think Seal ever said he was.  Drew has made a career on taking something someone says and weaving it into something that is a farty smelling mutated version of what was once said.  Drew should have been a politician.  A gay politician that fucks Mexicans like that homo in The Office.  I'm far too fucking lazy to research this but I want to say Seal believes Noel is as good if not a better defender than Single Brow.  And Seal was right.  I've caught several Kentucky games this year because A) I love when dick hats like Calipari lose and B) I think they play every single night.  At least that's what if feels like.  But this Noel cat...despite his lame fucking haircut...is a God damn beast on defense.  He literally changes how teams have to play when he's in the game.  He's the less hilarious and less African version of Dikembe.

I really don't know what to think of this Michigan team.  At times they look unbeatable and at other times look like teenagers holding a bare tit for the first time.  The two biggest games this year (both on the road) they were down 15 before Vitale popped his first Cody Zeller erection.  This troubling shit needs to get itself rectified in a hurry if they plan on making a run in March.  I guess we'll find out if this team is for realsies or not in the next month when they get the Buckeyes and the Crean Pies at home.  Speaking of Crean Pie...

Tom Crean has to know that his wife is Jim Harbaugh in drag, right?  I mean, Crean Pie is no Glenn Danzig or Dolph Lundgren but FUCK!!  Look at that beast!  She has the jaw line of Andre Iguodala.  Fuckin Medusa.  Disgusting.

Even though Tits Sullinger is no longer a college afffflete, it's worth repeating that Drew was, and will always be wrong about Sullinger and his back not being made of vagina skin and Paul Pierce's breast meat.  Let's not let him forget how stupid he was defending such an enormous faggot.

Marshall Henderson is a complete fuck.  Anyone who thinks or says differently needs to be murdered slowly and meticulously.

Seriously.  Look at this dick wart.  If you've never had the "pleasure" of watching this fucking boob douche his way up and down the court please familiarize yourself.  All it will take is about 30 seconds and you'll see why almost no other player has been easier to hate.  He's the guy at the rec who thinks he's the best player on the planet and will jack up 25 threes from anywhere to prove his point.  His team mates can't like him.  No way.

Thad Matta is the sweatiest hog to ever sweat.  I bet Thaddeus looks like Patrick Ewing after an outdoor game in Texas in July when he does simple tasks like eating dinner.  Just a moist pig dripping all over people.  Did he used to be a fucking lardo earlier in life?  Because only tubby shits get greased up like that when doing nothing but just standing in a suit for 3 hours.

I really have no idea who's gonna win the title this year.  This is one of those odd years where a clear cut top 2 or 3 teams haven't separated themselves from the rest of the pack.  I think that any one of the top 10 teams right now could legitimately win the championship.  Shit...maybe even the top 15.  What I do know is that come March I'm finding whatever chick who filled out Dut's bracket for him last year.  She seems to know what she's doing.

There ya go.  Talk amongst yourselves and let's see if we can get a bitch fight started between Seal and Drew.  I'll be in and out since I've been summoned last minute to Taylor, Michigan for work today.  I live a very rewarding life.  Be jealous.


Anonymous said...

"Play Ohio State and Indiana at home in the next month"....Holy Face Palm....it's as if you didnt even know that they play Ohio State tonight. Actually, I don't think you did since you never even mentioned that. Turrrrible.

Is Kentucky ranked yet? I honestly don't know as that area of the rankings is not relevant to my interests. I watched Nerlens the other night and he did put on a shot blocking showcase.

So, the Celtics decide to do preventive surgery on Sully...to help their tanking...after he proves to be a fine NBA player..say he wll be 100% in a few months AND it helPS their post Rondo tanking? Yeah what an awful pick.

Matta will move to 18-3 lifetime against Michigan tonight. Buckets goes for 42.
Craft shuts down Burke....AGAIN.


Grumpy said...

You commenting on Mrs. Crean's looks is LOLZ. Must not have any mirrors at your house. And I'm not talking about your roommate.

Brady, help me out here. After Ryan chased Rick's wife into the backyard and shot Rick, who was the second guy who jumped him and also got shot? Or did Rick get up and come after him again?

GMoney said...

Grump, it was Rick again. You are allowed to ask me since I know all.

The Celtics are tanking for what? That #14 lottery pick? WHAT A SHREWD BUSINESSMAN DANNY AINGE IS! Legitimate big man averaging 6 and 6 or something similar. Tristan Thompson is better and doesn't have a back made out of synthetic pussies.

I have yet to sample Marshall Henderson's douchiness. Someone put Ole Miss on post haste!

Here's something that I believe to be true and should get people mad bro today:

Trey Burke is OVERRATED. Granted, the only times that I've watched him this year were in games that they lost and he was up against Oladipo and that apple-cheeked faggot, but he was not ELITE.

Seal > Drew

Grumpy said...

I didn't think you were watching since you're convinced there will not be a second season.

GMoney said...

It did feel like Joe and Ryan were going to enjoy some post-scotch coitus last night in that flashback. I'm back on since they got rid of the FBI agent with the giant face mole and replaced her with someone attractive.

Who wants to bet that that young tech nerd who kisses Ryan's ass is with Team Poe?

Ice Man said...

"Holy Face Palm....it's as if you didnt even know that they play Ohio State tonight. Actually, I don't think you did since you never even mentioned that. Turrrrible"

OBVZ I knew that game was tonight and they play Indiana 33 days later. One month = 30 days. So saying they play both teams in the next month is close enough. Really Drew?? This is what we're nit picking today?

Trey Burke not ELITE? I chortle. Please explain your insanely dumb statement. In all of Burke's games against ranked opponents this year he has put up 25/8, 18/9, 18/11. The only game he has played against a ranked team and played poorly was on the road against Ohio. Burke averages 18/7 in the toughest conference in basketball and is #2 in assist to turnover ratio. Isn't that the stat by which all PGs are judged? I would love to hear what he lacks in his game that makes you think he isn't the best PG in the entire country.

Is Grumpy related to Joani HarCrean? Is that why he sounds so offended by me calling out her troll face?

Anonymous said...

Im still skeptical you knew, since you didn't mention a thing about the game tonight.

I don't think Burke is OVERRATED...I think he's damn good. But, he really really struggles against Craft.


Jeff said...

Gotta love G$ trolling Meesh fans every once in awhile. Can't wait for those all highlighter yellow jerseys tonight. At least if the power goes out the glow from those jerseys will light the place.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Nerlens props - kid is nasty on the defensive end.

Kentucky is not ranked and absolutely should not be. They are going to get crushed by Florida soon.

Speaking of Florida... I am really liking my pick of them in the title game this year. They remind me a ton of last years Kansas team. 2 very good guards, and a monster big guy (Patric Young). They are really good - even though I hate saying that.

MIchigan will be fine - they are def one of the 5 best teams in the nation. I really expect Burke to have an incredible tourny. Plus, there was no way the refs were letting them win that game in Indiana this past weekend. God I hate Indiana...

Im still torn on OSU. Their defense is incredible and always proves can get you deep in the tourny. BUT they still only have 1 legit scorer. If Thomas has one bad game, they could def be done quickly - esp if they play some mid major where a few white guys go nuts from deep.

How easy is it to hate all things Duke, Plumlee and Vitale?

Good post today.


GMoney said...

What I said remains true. I've seen him play twice and he was about as efficient as ten Dion Waiters in those big games. I only need to watch a guy twice to form correct stereotypes on anyone.

Maybe he's terrific. I don't know. He hasn't been with the spotlight on him. What I'm trying to say here is simple: Trey Burke is not TRANSCENDENT.

Ace said...

LOLZ at Trey Bruke overrated. If he splashes that step-back 3 in Craft's eye instead of it rattling in and out then he is the GOAT in G$'s eyes. And did you see his numbers at Indiana? He was literally responsible for over 50% of our offense. The frosh choked in that game, and that happens.

I expect Burke to get to the rack very aggressively this game. He played on the perimeter too much against IU and Fuckeyes in the previous games. Look for some DEEP penetration tonight.

As of right now I like Henderson because the only time I have ever seen him play was when he trolled the Auburn fans. That was ELITE.

GMoney said...


Anonymous said...

Seems like a good time to wedge a Dontre Wilson comment in here.

We gon' be sick.

Burke will show if he is OVERRATED or not today. My gut is that he will not be that effective, but they will win sparking further debate.


GMoney said...

Relax, I'm opening the floodgates for NSD tomorrow so that all you assholes can pat yourselves on the back.

Ice Man said...

G$ is the LOLest of the LOL. "Maybe he's terrific but hasn't been with the spot light on him." Well...you know...besides that game on Saturday on the road in one of the toughest buildings in the entire country when he went for 25 and 8. Is your wife commenting for you today?

Drew...it would have been impossible for me to not know this game was tonight since I have a schedule at my desk. And I watch SportsCenter and listen to CBS sports radio. And It's all people have talked about since the Indiana game ended Saturday night.

Agree with you about Florida, Seal. And it's crazy because no one is really talking about them. Which I'm sure they prefer. I like what Syracuse is doing this year too. They could be a dangerous team come tourney time.

Nate said...


The best way to get an offense like Oregon's is to start stealing their recruits.

Some of the scatback and slot type guys that Urban is pulling in are much like the LaMichael James / Kenyon Barner / DeAnthony Thomas types.

I think we're still a year away from moving as fast as Oregon does/did, but this year should be exciting.

Anonymous said...

I for one cannot wait for UM's assistant coach douchebag's pregame speech tonight.

I am prepared for a loss tonight. We need Lenzelle to step up again. He is the key to this team getting to the next level.


Anonymous said...

G$ is trolling for ratings again...selling his soul/integrity for a few cheap comments...

Tonight's game is HUGE for Michigan, since we all know road wins against ranked B10 teams will not come easy or often for anyone (at least that is our excuse right now). We are the SEC of college basketball (minus all the titles that is......)

G$'s two game analysis > than everyone analyst in the country?

My answer is no.

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

Lindsay Vonn apparently blew her knee out on the slopes and had to be airlifted to the hospital. Moral of the story? Don't date black people.


GMoney said...


24 shots to score 25 points...I accept your apology. 24 shots is the last thing you want from your point guard unless you like the Starbury type player.

I'm not saying that I am an expert although I do have a history of taking flights with Jay Bilas. Just from what I've seen, he plays too much isolation when it matters and that is SO DUMB FO REAL.

OVERRATED. Although I wouldn't mind him proving me wrong tonight by murdering that apple-cheeked narc faggot on the court tonight. I am open to being a hypocrite in that matter.

Brady said...

-Late to the party. It was definitely Rick still, Grump. Last night's episode was pretty crazy.

-When they had the kid kill the mouse at the end... fuck. That was beyond creepy.

-The gay makeout scene was pretty uncomfortable. Either those guys truley like having eachothers tounges in their mouth or they deserve a Golden Globe (thats the TV one, right?)

-The main FBI chick is TOTES in on it.

-Looking forward to the Bucks game tonight. From what I saw on Saturday, Michigan shouldn't be a problem.

Anonymous said...

Damman-I won't say that I'm prepared to lose, although it wouldn't be a huge shock. If we can split this weeks games, a 4peat is still not out of the question.

Beat michigan!
Go Bucks!!


Prime99 said...

Based on your lack of whiskey drinking, that daiquiri could be your drink of choice as well, Iceman.

You guys should keep arguing about who is second best in conference. Tom Crean's wife might look like Jim in a wig, but his team is better than both Ohio and Michigan.

Ice Man said...

I drank some Black Velvet on Sunday, Prime. I felt like a homeless man.

Ace said...

Iceman's favorite liquors; Kamchatka, El Toro, Black Velvet, Pucker, and E&J.

I am okay with saying Indiana is the best team for now, but we will beat them in AA just like we will beat the Fuckeyes tonight. Then the whole debate will mean nothing.

Anonymous said...

It will be interesting to see if Burke can ever do well against Craft. So far he's 1-3 and played awful in all three losses.


GMoney said...

Oh man, you guys are going to be so impressed with my Recruiting Research tomorrow! I even looked at Georgia and Clemson just for Dawg and Jeff! ELITE!

Trey Burke is the Peyton Manning of point guards...worse than Joe Flacco.

Ace said...

Wait, so who is the Flacco of PG's then?

GMoney said...

Great question...uh, Tony Delk?


Ice Man said...

"It will be interesting to see if Burke can ever do well against Craft. So far he's 1-3 and played awful in all three losses."

In Burke's defense it's hard to get around someone when they play defense with their hands and not their feet.

Anonymous said...

Tony Delk reference!!


Jeff said...

Clemson recruiting ?!?!? Nice work, actually I'll be the judge of that tomorrow, but you will get an A for effort.

Anonymous said...

Iceman starts the Michigan whining at 2...wow that's early. A true Michigan Boy.

After the last game Belein said Craft is the best college defensive player he's ever seen. Even Burkes admits his defense is great. You should take some lessons in non-whining from those two.

I'm actually interested in G$s recruiting post.


GMoney said...

Kevin Pittsnogle is the best player and defender than Beilein has ever seen!

GMoney said...

So it's settled: Trey Burke sucks.