|Correct. This is how many that go in the pink.|
Alabama players like to beat up people for fun – Nick Saban suspended four of his players after it was revealed that they kicked the shit out of two random students recently for absolutely no reason at all. Well, I guess that they stole some stuff off of the guys that they jumped, too. This is the sort of thing that you would expect from Jordan Jefferson, not Roll Damn Tiders. Or not; I don’t care. I only wanted to mention this because both victims have said that they will still be Bama Football fans and getting sent to the ER by those that they adore does not affect anything. That’s hilarious and awful. I blame Goose from Two-A-Days. They should have kicked his ass instead.
Barry Alvarez says that the Big Ten is done playing FCS schools – Just like Gene Smiff’s hatred of the MAC, I’ll believe it when I see it. I find it hard to believe that the Indiana’s and Minnesota’s and Purdue’s of the world are on board with this. I don’t even know why they would want to get rid of these games anyway. Am I the only one who remembers how hilarious it was when App State skull-fucked Michigan? LOL! Indiana seems to lose to one of these schools every other year. THAT IS FUNNY. If anything, they should schedule more of these games purely for comedic purposes.
The NCAA wants to start kicking James Harrison-types out – There are leaks of new rules that could be coming to college football and this is one of them. If a dude rocks a defenseless receiver, they may be ejected from the game for it. I’m not sure if I like this rule because it gives dumb refs even more power that they shouldn’t have. Then again, if 15 yards isn’t stopping safeties from killing pass catchers then maybe the threat of ejection will. Either way, this is going to end poorly and Bo Pelini is going to end up murdering a ref during a game.
Fuck your butt, Boise State – Also up for debate is banning teams from wearing solid uniforms that match their home turf. I LOVE THIS. Watching Boise play home games during the day gives me a headache. I am admittedly a big fan of the Broncos, but they shouldn’t get a competitive, camouflaged advantage. This also means that Sparty or Oregon can’t rock all green unis either. Good rule!
Urban Meyer is a lying sack of shit – Ohio State had to publicly announce that that whole absurd Woody Hayes/turtle rapist story was not true. I’ve heard enough. Give this program the death penalty already. Clearly, the lies have not stopped. This is obviously a violation of their probation. THINK OF THE CHITLINS/CHILDREN!
That will do it for me this week. I’m off to Chicago this weekend to take in the Hockey City Classic on Sunday (I can’t wait to lob tons of lazy “invisible girlfriend” jokes at stupid Notre Dame Fans all day) and investigate what is actually wrong with Derrick Rose’s heavy flow vagina. The weather is supposed to cooperate for some lovely outdoor doubleheader hockey at Soldier Field (Miami/ND game will be on most Fox Sports channels nationwide at 1 EST if you're interested). We’ll be back on Monday with more discussion on why the fuck Lori is back.