|So I says to Xenu I says--I'll tell you later|
Look, it’s hard to justify the existence of the team’s nickname without coming off like a “DEY TOOK OUR JERBS” redneck so I won’t. The whole notion of pride and tradition is kind of pointless and only serves to make those making excuses look like clowns. I get that. But as I seem to have to say every year, I don’t want the name to change. I don’t ever want it to change. I already went through this once. I have no real logical and sane reason to feel this way. I just do. Maybe I don’t hold onto enough white guilt (and don’t kid yourself, this is why this debate pops up constantly) or maybe I have better things to do than worry about the feelings of the zero Native Americans that I know. What I do know is that giving into these pussy liberals (which I am one of 99% of the time) seems like a horrible idea.
I don’t care that the name is offensive. I really don’t. Who watched the Skins lose to the Seahawks 6 weeks ago and said “FUCK THOSE PEOPLE UP THEIR WIGWAMS!” It’s a team name. That’s it. It isn’t a cause to slaughter the Hopi tribe or ban Firewater or have Sam Bradford go on a vision quest. Are the Redskins even that offensive compared to other franchises in the NFL? Get a load of this research:
Rams – Named after gay sex
Buccaneers – Named after Somali pirates/my neighbors that hijack cruise ships
Vikings – Some of the finest rapists ever bred in Europe
Packers – Another team focused on gay sex
Bears – Why do fat, hairy gay guys get their own team again?
Chargers – Not really sure why identity thieves are honored…that is a HUGE pain in the dick—just like Phil Rivers
Chiefs – If the Skins are taking heat, why aren’t these assholes?
Raiders – That guy on the helmet looks like a fine citizen
Bills – I’ll never understand why Canadian and one time commenter, Bill Wennington, got his own franchise
Jets – I forget…what was it that took down the World Trade Center again? It wasn’t a Colt!
Browns – Named after poop; play like it, too.
You see? There are so many insensitive team names around the league that it makes little sense just to target one. I’m not so sure that Redskins is even offensive anyway. When you name a team after Mike Shanahan’s skin hue, shouldn’t he be the one that is upset instead of the Navajos and liberals?
Seriously though, I get that the franchise has a fairly racist past and the name of the team is quite outdated. Considering that the Skins are one of the five most valuable franchises in all of sports, a couple of scathing articles in the Washington Post isn’t going to do anything. The brand (and the money that Danny Boy rakes in) means more than a little negative press. Nothing is ever going to change. Plus we have the best uniforms in football and that matters, dammit!
And it shouldn’t change because as long as The Mississippi Sambos are still functioning in whatever sport they play, the Washington Redskins are going to be just fine. GO SAMBOS! Bomb The Indians! Take Their Casinos!