Monday, February 25, 2013

Columbus 2024...I'm Down

Come to Columbus...
I'm always a big fan of my hypocrisy every four years when I give a dismissive wank at the Olympics yet find myself watching a ton of it.  It never fails.  I act like a big tough guy and shit all over it but I'm a total liar and a pussy.  I actually like it.  Never listen to me rail against the Olympics because I'm full of shit.  Anyway, it was revealed last week that USOC has asked 35 cities to put in for the 2024 Summer Olympics.  Columbus was one of those 35.

Now, I know that it is insanely far-fetched that this would happen.  I am well aware of that.  But I went to Atlanta in 1996 and it was a lot of fun.  I can only imagine how great it would be if the biggest sporting event on the globe was in my backyard.  So I'm going to just assume that Columbus wins this and in 11 years, we are prepping for the biggest spectacle on the planet.  How do we pull this off, you ask?  Well, let's band together and start figuring this out.  Keep in mind, I'm doing no research on this at all.

OK, there are four big events plus the opening/closing ceremony (as well as the Olympic Village where the athletes are to stay).  You need to make sure that basketball, swimming, track and field, and gymnastics are all taken care of.  You can play hoops at The Schott because--while not a great venue for basketball--it's still better than Nationwide Arena.  You can run gymnastics at Nationwide then which would be perfect.  Is it possible to also play volleyball there as well?  Can you flip the building around for that?  That would be huge.  I'm not sure if there is a place big enough for Olympic swimming so the city will likely have to build something.  Let's throw that out at Easton or something just to get better spacing throughout the city.  That's key.  It's just like basketball offense, you've got to spread the floor.  Track and the ceremonies are another thing that would need built.  Apparently, there was an area downtown marked as a possible place for the casino.  Just use that land for the track complex.  Then after the games are over--BANG--new place for the Crew to play.  ELITE!

The Village could be a problem though.  I don't know how many athletes are actually housed, but I feel like you could shut down Ohio State for the Summer and dedicate the entire campus as the Olympic Village.  That seems possible, no?  Just put a fence around it or something to keep the public out and there is your private residences for the athletes.  Plus, it would give my wife three weeks off from work.  It would be the first time ever that the campus of Ohio State University would actually serve a purpose.

How about the secondary sports?  Well, how does golf at Muirfield sound?  You could possibly play medal round soccer at The Shoe.  Qualifying rounds could be held at Browns Stadium, Paul Brown Stadium, and Charles Buckemeyer Stadium.  Not everything has to be held inside of I-270.  Tennis at the ATP down by King's Island.  Women's beach volleyball in my backyard.  This can happen, people!  We must believe!

We've known for years that Chicago and New York want the Summer Olympics.  It's already a nightmare to travel in those cities anyway.  It is never a disaster here.  We would have to build a monorail here (you need a train system to be taken seriously as a major city) but I've built monorails in Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook and by gum it put them on the map.  Buses and cabs aren't going to cut it.  A train is mandatory.  How about hotels?  Do we have enough?  I doubt it but I'll rent my room out to weirdo Japanese businessmen for way too much yen.  They won't know the difference.  We'll make it work.

I realize that the chances of Columbus getting the 2024 Olympics are slimmer than slim but much like imagining winning the lottery, it's fun to dream.  Hell, it seems like Arnold loves this area (Arnold Classic next weekend?), let's get him to do some PR leg work for us.  Like I said, I'm not holding my breath and it is way far down the line to get worked up about it, but I hope that we take this seriously and make a push.  The USOC didn't recommend central Ohio for no reason.  Yes we can!

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm in. Urban Meyer can coach the Dream Team.

I feel like the Money Shot would get press passes too.

I could see cheap ass Ape trying to steal condoms from the olympic village so that he could sell them when the olympics are over.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

Did you leave a backpack in Atlanta?

GMoney said...

Urban Meyer will TOTES be dead by then. They could use his corpse as the Olympic torch. By the way, it's OBVZ that I will be one of the studs that gets to run with that torch. Press passes are a must.

Tell me about it. I've been looking for that bag of nails and shrapnel for 17 years. You ask Richard Jewell to hold on to it for two seconds so I can take a dump and he disappears! DICK!

When I started to think about it, after the initial "LOL DUMB" dismissive wank, I began to realize that we already have a lot of the facilities built plus the necessary space for everything to happen. And I really want a monorail.

It's unfortunate that if it is even still standing in 11 years, they wouldn't let anything happen at St. John's due to it's decrepit state. Still a great building though.

Anonymous said...

Buckeye players could trade their athletic gear for Olympic pins and memorabilia.

Jeff said...

Just our luck like with the NHL Allstar game, after getting named the host city, World War 3 will probably be going on in 2024 and the Olympics will be cancelled.

Anonymous said...

Volleyball can/should be played at Flannagan's. Perfect venue.

Dan Gilbert owns a bunch of land that he bought for the casino near Huntington (another ELITE site). Jesse Owens facility can do a shitload of events as well and can probably hold enough people. I'm sure they will trot out Ohio Stadium for the opening/closing ceremony which would require TBDBITL to make at least one appearance.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Volleyball can/should be played at Flannagan's. Perfect venue.

Dan Gilbert owns a bunch of land that he bought for the casino near Huntington (another ELITE site). Jesse Owens facility can do a shitload of events as well and can probably hold enough people. I'm sure they will trot out Ohio Stadium for the opening/closing ceremony which would require TBDBITL to make at least one appearance.

Ide

GMoney said...

How about another comment, Ide? The Shoe is kind of a dump. The IOC would not let that hold the opening/closing ceremonies.

Volleyball is in my yard. DEAL WITH IT. It would add extra drama with the two massive mastiffs next door and if the ball goes into their yard, it ain't coming back.

You need at least 75K seats for track. Jesse Owens can get out his fucking shinebox. He can't fit anything remotely close to that. Let's be practical. Swimming out at Easton. Track and Olympic stadium complex on Dan Gilbert's land downtown. DONE.

TBDBITLOL...this is bog boy shit. The queers in the band stay at home.

Anonymous said...

Blame your sentient robot for that double post.

On a more relevant note: Aaron Craft.

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

Not gonna happen. Ever. This is Ohio.

How about Drew's boy Bynum(maybe?) cheap-shotting Hansborough Saturday night...while down by 20? I was hoping for a Malice repeat but Hansborough had to be all white about it.

Olympic condoms could be a huge untapped market.

Thank you Fuckeyes for your win yesterday, much appreciated.

GMoney said...

Did he let you give him another facial? Because, seriously, he's going to be the first athlete to come out of the closet. How else do you explain his love of groping like-bodied black man? FAG.

I was texting about this with Buke yesterday and he agreed. If you aren't an Ohio rube, he is so easy to hate. But I was told to stop writing about the Ohio Buckeyes and their love for sucking turds. You know, because apparently everyone hates to talk about the only thing that everyone only wants to talk about.

GMoney said...

It will happen, you smelly Ape. I am leading the charge. Do any of those other cities have a Private Dancer? NO THEY DO NOT.

Anonymous said...

Both ceremonies definitely at the Shoe.

Yeah...a kid that gives 110% effort while being a first team academic all American is hard not to hate. Go Fuck yaself. As Izzo noted....he was the best player on the floor yesterday.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I know we recently talked about this, but I have to bring it up again after yesterday's game...

Ohio State University fans = the most unoriginal fans ever. Not only do I get incredibly annoyed when you do the seven nation army chant (that PSU started), but yesterday I saw you doing the "waive your arms at the inbounder" jinx that Duke does?! Real fucking origninal - and that is the gayest fucking thing ever.

Seal

The Iceman said...

G$'s Facebook post about Craft yesterday really nailed it. I'll let you all stalk his page to read it. But just know we all HATED "that guy" in high school. But hey...thanks for the assistance in beating Sparty, Ohio!

The only thing I have to contribute is the Olympics are dumb because they're taking out wrestling and leaving in shit like synchro diving. That's still a summer Olympic sport, right?

GMoney said...

Congrats, Drew, you have your own Wojo/Paulus now! You were too dumb to even realize that you bought into the scrappy white overachiever with a heart of gold and an anus full of dick residue! Slap the floor before your next comment, rump ranger.

How about that ownage?

They're eliminating wrestling to shock the world when they bring in professional wrestling. Iron Shiek is going to win the gold for Iran or wherever the fuck he is supposed to be from.

GMoney said...

Olympics are dumb? Reeva Steenkamp had the same opinion. Shut your whore mouth.

FYI, I am officially registered for the zombie fun run. BRING IT!

Anonymous said...

"Ohio State University fans = the most unoriginal fans ever. Not only do I get incredibly annoyed when you do the seven nation army chant (that PSU started), but yesterday I saw you doing the "waive your arms at the inbounder" jinx that Duke does?! Real fucking origninal - and that is the gayest fucking thing ever."

We have an arena wide chant of O-H-I-O, that no other school has. We also started the Hells Bells thing on third down (at least as recognized by the first page of google searching), and several teams do this (Philly Eagles being one). Seriously, who fucking cares? This is the dumbest argument anyone can make. Every school/team copies chants/pep cheers. Do you troll high school games chiding the kids parents for chanting D-FENSE as unoriginal?

Doesn't UK use some form of GO BIG BLUE which UM clearly started? Or C-A-T-S chant that was stolen from the two firemen who created it for they NY Jets? Or the Browns who took that goddamned Baja Men song well after UGA did it?

Good to see you root 956for only original teams.

Mr. Ace said...

Seal, Seven Nation Army was stolen from a Euro futbol squad by PSU. PSU did not originate that.

Anybody who says 110% is a faggot. Drew and Craft are perfect for each other.

Fuckeyes gonna...fuck?

Mr. Ace said...

Whoa Anon, the Napoleon Wildcats created the C-A-T-S chant and don't you forget it.

The Iceman said...

That makes 2 officially signed up for zombie run. It's $77 right now so get your tickets, ya clams! Remember to sign up for the 1PM wave.......IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!

The Iceman said...

"Seriously, who fucking cares? This is the dumbest argument anyone can make. Every school/team copies chants/pep cheers. Do you troll high school games chiding the kids parents for chanting D-FENSE as unoriginal?"

Obviously YOU care. Hence qualifying how your team is original in the sentences before what I copied and pasted at the top. But you don't REALLY care, right? Right. Fuckeyes being Fuckeyes.

Brady said...

-Iceman on with the full court chant/cheer pressure today! That's fucking lame. There are like three different basketball chants out there that everyone does. Nobody cares.

-LOLZ Curtis Granderson

-If the Olympics were held in C-Bus, I might actually care/watch.

-I TOTES watched the game yesterday but since I'm banned from having any basketball insight here, I'll just defer to the experts.

Anonymous said...

The robot is hating me today.

I was anon. However, I was pointing out that he was A) wrong B) bringing up a retarded point. I don't care because, honestly, I haven't even entertained the idea that we could be unoriginal, because everyone is. Go yell at Thurmans for not being the first to cook a hamburger.

I'm in for the zombie race, but with Vegas the week leading up to it, I could be fucked, fo' real. Speaking of zombie races, zombie talk soon! Andrea is the worst.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Slow Seals comment really is incredibly dumb....didn't even know about the Euro team starting seven nation army. I will say....congrats on being the only team with THE DIFF. I hope Cleveland gets an NHL team so they can use THE DIFF for scores like 3-1....LOLZ!

Michigan guys.....way to have pom poms at your football games sometimes nowadays. Errybody knows Ole Miss started that in like the 40s. So unoriginal!

G$...we already have Paulus.

--Drew

GMoney said...

LOLZ replacing Grandy for a month with Matt Diaz and Juan Rivera. Those two losers probably like bean-less chili like all losers do. Although looking at their last names, probably not.

Yep, Nap invented Cat-jacks and everything else Cat-related.

GMoney said...

I know you do. That's what makes it even better. Your homo videographer is in a torrid love affair with his exact replica.

Anonymous said...

Obviously I knew i was going to get ripped apart when i posted that on a site where people get so butt hurt when one bad thing is said about OSU. I watch enough college sports to know that people "steal" other schools chants, im not an idiot - its whats called a troll - its what we all do on here all day. I just fucking despise duke and their fans, and could not believe bucks fans were doing that gay "jinx the inbounder".

Seal

Prime99 said...

Olympics in C-Bus is as laughable as continued NBA basketball in Sacramento.

GMoney said...

We hold RibFest here every year. We can handle the Olympics. FACTS!

Copying anything Duke is so sad.

Prime99 said...

I hadn't considered a Ribfest defense. Well played.

Anonymous said...

The Gay Softball World Series is in Columbus next year.....Olympics is a piece of cake after that.

--Drew

GMoney said...

ZOMBIE TIME!

*OK, seriously, where the fuck did Phil find an eye patch? Don't get me wrong, I love it, but I highly doubt they are abundant in Woodbury.

*Will that weiner Milton please do something other than listen to whale sounds and be a pussy? How the fuck did this guy survive?

*Tyreese and Company are now on Team Governor? Well, Rick really left them with no choice. I love the way that Tyreese swings his ax. It's hard to describe but it is major LULZ.

*How great was Deputy Dipshit telling his old man to step the fuck off? And he took his hat off so you KNOW HE WAS SUPER SERIAL!

*Andrea: How could you?
Michonne: You are a dumb bitch that keeps getting dumber.

*Merle can quote the Bible? That seems out of character.

*OK, so this was way too Andrea-centric of an episode highlighted by her nude silhouette and giant gash when it comes to cold-blooded murder. Why didn't they just have her stay at the prison exactly? Why send her back? If she is one of them and everyone seems to agree that she is, what the fuck is the point of her going back to the enemy? Carol gave her directives but no one listens to her so other than "brokering the peace" which is hilarious, there is zero point in sending her off.

*Nice singing, Beth, now shut the fuck up.

*So those gates are beyond repair, right? Because if they aren't then why aren't they all out there stabbing heads off to re-secure the perimeter?

Eventhough this was too heavy on Andrea, I liked last night's episode. I admit it. It looks like next week's should be interesting with Michonne being a terrible minority driver, too!

Anonymous said...

Andrea is awful and that stupid half constipated look she gives off really rustles my jimmies.

Interesting turn of events with Tyreese. From what I do know about the comic, I know its not at all the same. But, I am keenly intent on watching his non black counterparts die horribly.

I get Merle knowing bible verses, because he us a respectable Southern gentleman. But, I dont buy that he learned them all from a library in the relative short amount of time.

Shut up, Nip.

Daryl needs a badass turn of events and stop being a sourpuss about his brother.

Michonne is MVP this half of the season and I cant wait to see her go back to Woodbury.

Ide

Prime99 said...

I half expected Andrea's make silhouette to include a shadow of a dong.

I'm pretty pissed about Tyreese and crew going over to the Guvna's camp but they will see Patchy's asshole side and flip to help Rick. They pretty much have to for Rick's crew to survive.

Andrea went all American History X on that zombie. Maybe the best thing she's done ever.

Rick may be snapping out of his funk. He better be before he meets the Governor eyes to eye.

Nate said...

Nearly caught up with everybody. As of last night, I finished the episode where the governor loses his eye.

Best scene in the entire series has been the Woodbury resident dying in the streets with everybody asking where the governor is. The governor calmly walks out, shoots the dying guy in the head, and calmly walks back in to the building without saying a word.

Anonymous said...

If the cultural/economical hotspot of Cleveland/Akron can handle the 2014 Gay Olympics I'm sure Columbus is a shoe-in for the 2024 not gay version

J from JBeanie

The Iceman said...

Here's my only gripe. They have cars with gas in them, right? So instead of bitching about how they are trapped in the prison because they can't waste ammo on the walkers in the yard...why don't they just FUCKING RUN THEM OVER WITH THEIR VEHICLES??

Why is Beth always singing? I don't get it.

Was I the only one that was certain Mearle was going to fix Herchel up with a new plastic leg when they were reciting Bible verses together? That's the least he could do for attempting to kill his daughter. Hershel is going to regret befriending Mearle after Beth gets raped by him.

It's odd how everyone Mearle has tried to murder is seemingly accepting of him being at the prison. I feel in real life that would be a hell of a more intense debate with a completely different outcome.

GMoney said...

No shit. That would be like Fred Goldman inviting OJ over for Thanksgiving every year and letting him cut the turkey.

What's up with them worrying about the kid with asthma? You can still shoot a gun, Milhouse.

I quit Californication for good last night. It felt great and was a long time coming.

The Iceman said...

The kid with asthma is TOTES gonna die. The forshadowing there was pretty thick. Like Andrea's bush hair.

Oh...and I can answer this for you, G$.

"If she is one of them and everyone seems to agree that she is, what the fuck is the point of her going back to the enemy?"

She went back for seconds of Shane's skin hog but then found out he was dead. At that point she had no motivation to stay because her other dick is in Woodbury.

GMoney said...

Fair enough. Line of the night was Carol telling Andrea to give The Guvnah the best fuck of his life and then kill him. That was bananas! With great advice like that, Carol might get on my good side.

The Iceman said...

It's because Carol plans on doing that with Darryl in a revenge plot for fake leaving her. Lesbos be CRAY!

GMoney said...

Carol is definitely the horniest survivor on Team Rick. She could TOTES go for some chained heat in that prison. She is just dying to get pounded/scissored for a few hours.

Prime99 said...

Carol/Michonne's lesbo sexcapade would go down as the grossest TV ever.

GMoney said...

I'd rather watch that on continuous loop than Hershel going to town on Deputy Dipshit. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned.

Anonymous said...

Interracial lesbian scenes vs. NAMBLA approved boy fucking. G$ gives a concise answer to a question no one thought to ask. This day has taken a dark turn.

GMoney said...

I've always been avidly opposed to NAMBLA (including the Marlon Brando look alikes). Sometimes it just needs to be said.

Mr. Ace said...

That episode was rough last night. Nothing of importance happened. Andrea is still the same slore she used to be, the prison people are still in the same position, and the Woodbury people are still in the same position except they picked up 4 people. Not even the curb stomping could save it.