|Judge Stone, I'd like to file a motion for teammates that don't blow clown dick.|
Because those clown frauds looked into the mirror that now blocks Dut’s once glorious glory hole and realized that Ohio State basketball is a joke right now. It’s not very fun to be a proven hypocrite, is it? And at the current pace that they are on, the Fuckeyes might be lucky to be on the bubble come early March.
I’m writing this before their road game at Purdue last night which we will assume that they are going to lose since they don’t win road games anymore. But we’ll chart their resume from that ELITE performance in Champaign back to the beginning of the season. They are an 11-3 basketball team ranked #15 in the country (which is a total fucking joke). Their RPI is 45 (thanks to playing #1 and 2 Duke and Kansas). The SOS is 68 and will get better as the winter goes along due to the STREMPH of the Big Ten. They have two quality wins through the first half of the season (Washington RPI 73 and Nebraska who will not end up in the top 100). I’ve seen better resumes and I’ve seen worse. Here’s the thing though: SOS doesn’t mean a fucking thing if you don’t win any of the games.
GAMER projects the Buckeyes to finish the season 19-11 (9-9 in the conference) which is about where I had them when looking through the remaining schedule. I’m not sure that I see 8 more conference wins though. How are they going to pull that off as presently constructed in the minefield of the Big Ten?
*Aaron Craft is a great point guard that can’t shoot at all and opposing teams don’t even need to guard him outside of the paint
*They have no inside presence on offense (Amir Williams is a hilarious failure of a human being)
*Lenzelle Smith is consistently inconsistent
*Buckets is a terrific scorer but he better never, ever have an off night
*Remember when you took Shannon Scott over Trey Burke? LOLOLOLOLOLOLZ
*Sam Thompson sure can jump and do nothing else
*Remember when you all were treating LaQuinton Ross’s jumper like Musberger treats Miss Alabama? LOLOLOLOLOLOLZ
Basically, this team can’t score except for Mac from Night Court and that isn’t likely to change now. Unlike in football, Big Ten coaches are smart enough to see that this team has nothing offensively and if you can get to 65 points, you’re going to beat them every time. Honestly, though, you all deserve this for being AP NATIONAL CHAMPS. You deserve to eat some heaping scoops of shit. And trust me; this basketball team is going to be serving it to you piping hot and extra steamy for the next two months.
Go ahead and tell me that I am CRAY CRAY. I’ll listen. But look at your schedule and tell me how you get to 20 wins. I’m not saying that it’s impossible or that you are definitely NIT bound (even though you have already assumed in your head that I have). I’m just saying that Thad Matta’s job is going to be ridiculously tough the rest of the way. And since this season is trending toward disappointment, most of you can go back to not caring again (HI BRADY!).
I will make one promise to you though: Michigan is going to crush you in your dump on Sunday afternoon. Lock that shit up. So just remember the next time you think that it would be fun to poke Seal’s bald head—his team is still the champion while rebuilding on the fly with 18 year olds. What the fuck is your excuse?