|FUCK YO COUCH|
HAHAHAHAHA LOLOLOLOLOLOL ZOMG URGAY
Due to incredibly incompetent NCAA investigating, it sounds like The U is going to skate by and not receive any further punishment from the wild saga of Nevin Shapiro. NCAA President Mark Emmert is pissed about this. I can see why.
I mean, the Canes broke just about every rule in the book and he can't do shit about it now. You all remember what happened: abortions, hookers, drugs, Ray Lewis murdering two Ohio natives and then eating his blood-stained white suit--all of it great reading material. And yet other than two self-imposed bowl bans, Al Golden and Company are going to feel no further wrath. Normally, a respected intelligent "journalist" such as myself would be pissed that the bad guys won but, you know, fuck Ohio.
This is just the best. What Uncle Luth wants, Uncle Luth gets. The U will never be destroyed! Consider today's topic a chance for Fuckeye fans to piss and moan about how life isn't fair while the rest of us point and laugh at them for being dumb. It will also permit us to make it 234 straight days of squeezing in an Ohio State football reference. BONUS!
Sorry for the short post but there isn't much more I can add to this since I don't really get why this case went to shit (seeing as I've spent zero days in law school) and I'm still getting used to new work responsibilities that blow. You know, maybe I should send my resume to NCAA HQ. God knows that there are about to be a TON of job openings there.
In conclusion, and completely off topic but important nonetheless, I've been doing some thinking recently and I think that it might be time to get the band back together. That band, of course, is The Fucktards. I think we need to strongly consider a return to the Bar Team Trivia circuit. Thoughts?