|Hey, Rupe, thanks for providing the poses this week. Before you go, what do you think of Mr. Ace?|
So for the final time this week, fellas, who do you have standing tall in mid-May or whenever bowl season ends?
Damman: USC over Georgia. The PAC 12 is garbage outside of Oregon, and USC gets them at home this year. Georgia will be there for reasons stated above. USC breaks the SEC stranglehold and we all want to kill ourselves over Collin T. Cowherd’s massaging of Barkley’s and Kiffin’s balls after this happens. Can you imagine how horrible this is going to be?
Drew: Alabama vs. USC. Both teams will enter the game undefeated and USC will win. Prediction: USC 31, Bama 20
The Wig Master: Oklahoma over Wisconsin. I think that it would be easy to say that USC and Bama play for the title this year, so I won’t. Instead, some eight days or so after Full Beer Day (you remember!), the Sooners of Oklahoma will beat the Wisconsin Badgers for the BCS Championship. Until next year bitches, I’m the TRUFE like A I.
Li'l Strut: USC over Florida State. Both teams will benefit from relatively weak schedules and end up as the only 12-1 or 13-0 BCS Conference teams at the end of the year. In the end, USC will flex its offensive muscles, as it had all season long, and take the title back to So Cal.
GSaul: #1 Oklahoma 24 v. #2 Oregon 17. The SEC’s consecutive national championships streak ends at six. After having nothing to play for last year, USC already has a target on their back and the Trojans always lose a game every year that they should have won, so I see Oregon coming out of the Pac 12. One of these years, I will get my Oklahoma prediction correct…BOOMER SOONER!
Dut: USC over Florida State. (Dut offered no explanation so I will write one for him) USC has way hotter guys. Have you seen FSU QB EJ Manuel? Probably has a nice dong, but he's TOTES and UGGO. Matt Barkley just oozes machismo and really makes my groomed stubble stand up.
G$: LSU over Florida State. I pick an SEC team to win every year because it is fucking easy and the smart thing to do. Phil Steele loves Florida State and Kiper says that (even without the OVERRATED Honey Badger) LSU has the most talent in the country. Until Les Miles stops being lucky as fuck, I'll bet on the guy that drinks from the toilet.
OK, I'm sure that you all can't wait to see how delusional I am.
Miami University +23 @ Ohio State. I'm not an idiot. I swear! There is a reason why NO ONE outside of this site is talking about this game and that is because the outcome is not in doubt. But what kind of asshole would I be if I had no hope? I MUST BELIEVE! I've got some bullet-points that I'm going to throw out and my goal is to be completely unbiased while I talk about my least favorite college football team and my favorite college football team.
*There are three things that I know that give me hope. Our QB (Dysert) is better than yours. DEAL WITH IT...just ask any NFL scout. Our WR (Harwell) might be the best receiver that you see all year. We have a legit lock-down CB (Nunley) who should NOT be challenged. You don't know or care about these guys so I will stop soon. Dysert and Harwell are both projected to possibly go on Day 2 of the Draft next year. They'll need to put up a monster tomorrow just to compete. They are more than capable of doing that. Seriously, though, watch Harwell because he is SICK.
*However, the 5 worst players on the field tomorrow just so happen to be our starting OL. These guys are fucking terrible and our center was carted off the practice field on Tuesday so it should be even worse. Hankins was a high first round pick already but we'll get him in the top 5. I expect a dink and dunk passing game out of the Red and White because...
*We can't fucking run the ball and it doesn't matter who we're playing. Last in the nation in 2011 with a whopping 73 yards per game! And it sounds like a true freshman is going to start in the backfield. If we break 75 yards, we're going to win. Don't worry, we won't hit that number.
*As talented as your DL is though, they don't really have a good track record of getting to the QB. I actually don't see that changing tomorrow unless our offense is a bunch of 7 stop drops. Our OC BETTER NOT DO ANY OF THOSE.
*If you're going to play Ohio State, this is probably the best time to do so. They are only going to get better so it behooves Miami to face them while they are still tinkering with things.
*I think it's also important to watch OSU's poise and demeanor in the first half. I could TOTES see a lot of the young guys (especially on offense where there isn't a ton of veteran experience) forcing things and trying to make the big play which would lead to mental mistakes. I could at least see this happening in the first half (don't lie, you do, too). These buttfuckers are going to try to do whatever it takes to impress King Buttfucker.
*That being said, I don't expect Tom Herman to go too far away from Jim Bollman's old game plans. I think it will be a fairly boring and vanilla offense that will show some flare (but not Ric Flair), but this isn't the statement game. They will just be biding their time until that trip to East Lansing to show who they are.
So what am I thinking? It seems like every time the little guy goes to the big dog's house, they always gift wrap a defensive TD or a horrible turnover at the wrong time. If we can avoid this (highly doubtful as I see numerous strip sacks in our future), we can hang. Like I said, I don't see your offense going bananas which could lead to some groans from the crowd. Remember when Michigan lost to App State and Toledo in the same season? LOLZ! Well, we're due for something like that again, motherfuckers. My heart says that Miami wins 20-19 as OSU's red zone offense stalls often (we actually have a pretty solid defense). My wallet says nothing. My head says that we play three great quarters before the bad guys (and they are the bad guys) pull away with a blocked punt TD (or something similar) early in the 4th quarter. If I was a betting man, I'd say that Ohio State wins 33-17. I don't think that you cover. I do think that we will be able to move the ball. To quote Jim Tressel, every possession must end in a kick though.
I'll tell you what though just to make it interesting. Straight up bet--if Ohio State wins, I will show up to the G$FL Draft on Monday in an Ohio State Football t-shirt (I have one because I am a sucker for free t-shirts). Someone can snap a picture of it and I'll even give a thumbs up. If Miami wins, you have to live with that shame forever and realize that our friendship will likely end over this football game because I will never stop talking about it. I will not bet money so don't bother because I'm a fan and I don't take points.
Either way, this is going to be a good weekend. Especially since Ide isn't coming back. Enjoy the football, assholes, and we'll see you back here on Tuesday.