Monday, December 24, 2012

The Worst Of Week Sixteen Vol.VI

Before we get started, I hope that everyone has a very merry I WON THE DFL AGAIN!!!  HAHAHAHAHA!  I am the greatest auction league player of ALL TIME.  Seriously, I KILLED Dut just like I Belcher everyone else in that league.  I would say that it's getting old but raping men never gets old.  Sure, Prime may have gotten the best of me in the MSFL Super Bowl but I called it last week: you live by the Brees, you die by the Brees.  There is nothing wrong with a first and a second.  That's CASH MONEY!  You should see the incredibly douche-tastic picture that I put on Facebook last night featuring a crown, a kingly robe (which is a Yankees snuggie), aviator shades, a pedo smirk, and the "light".  I looked like the hottest version of The Statue of Liberty ever.  It might be the first pic in Facebook history to get 8 million likes.  Repeat champion...what a great and completely expected feeling.  Now how about we get to laughing at the Steelers which is what we all want to do anyway?

Tiny Ben - Yeah yeah yeah, he's hurt but that is TWO games in a row that he absolutely pissed away with poor decisions.  That can't happen.  Yet I love it because fuck the Steelers.  They're going to rightfully shit-can Todd Haley probably today (they should) and that is sad because I want that loser to coach the offense forever.

Omar Epps Coach - Oh you know that The Iceman is complimenting himself today in his never-ending crusade to tell everyone that Tomlin is OVERRATED.  Guess what?  Ice is right for the time being.  The Steelers aren't going to the playoffs...terrific.

Miles Austin - This guy totally sucks.  While Dez is likely the worst person on earf, at least he has sick talent.  Smiles just blows.  The Cowboys WILL lose next Sunday.  Book it.  Eventually, they won't be able to make those bananas comebacks that are growing very annoying.

Rainbow Tenor - The Chiefs had well over 300 yards rushing, scored 13 points total, and lost because their QB is a homophobic homo.  That might be the most head-scratching oxymoron ever.

Rex Ryan - Either make him join the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club or fire him already.  They gave up eleven sacks!

Terrelle Pryor - At halftime, he was the Raiders leading receiver.  RAIDER NATION!!!

Tom Brady - You fag, you probably cost me an MSFL title because you wear Uggs.

Lions fans - That was a tough scene on Saturday night because the Lions are a complete and utter joke of a team but the fans stuck around to cheer a Tron record.  The only problem is that nothing about that team is worth cheering this year.  I felt bad for them because that team should have been booed from start to finish.

ELIte Manning - The Giants are terrible.  Here's the thing and it applies to the Steelers, too:  This whole notion that teams can "turn on the switch" is the biggest crock of shit in sports.  It's freaking stupid.  The only thing that veteran teams can do is put awful performances behind them.  They don't just get better.  If you underachieve, then you are an underachiever.  Stop using that term.  It's just an excuse.

Andy Reid - Bye bye, fatso.  The Redskins played like shit and still rolled because Nick Foles is a tard.  PLAYOFFS!  You know what, the worst of the week was this:

Jimmy HarBRAH - It's 21-0 already so I'm just going to assume that the Seahawks roll.  By the way, if the Redskins hold serve next Sunday, how great would Seattle @ Washington be?  ELITE!

That's it for this week.  Everyone have an unsafe Christmas tomorrow.  When you're sitting in church tonight or tomorrow not paying attention, just think about how great it is to be me:  a DFL Champion yet again AND a fan of the Warrrrrrshington Redskins!

24 comments:

GMoney said...

I'm at work. I suck. Here is a very good joke though to share with your families in the guise of today's post:

Dusty Baker - I guess he should have called off the suicide squeeze for Ryan Freel.

DFL Champion again.

Jeff said...

I'm at work also. Yeehaw!!

LOLZ STEELERS LOLZ

Tomlin isn't going anywhere. Even with the collapse he's MY GUY! If overrated means going to 2 superbowls in 6 years and winning 1, I'll take. Haley is shit canned, but you can't beat good teams throwing pick 6s and picks on your side of the 50 in a tie game with less than a minute left, Ben, or have an NFL kicker who leaves 53 yarders short. Changes will be made this offseason, but Tomlin is not one.

Atleast I don't have to watch a secondary sans Ike Taylor and Ryan Clark get picked apart by Pey Pey.

I'm happy all you clowns fans can smile once again, even though your "franchise" RB won't last 3 years in this league. It's the little things in life when you're a Cleveland sports fan.

MuDawgfan said...

G$ - At work in Blue Ash, Ohio too. Falcons and Bengals both won this week so decided to have a little Sundee Fundee of my own.

I had no business driving to work today.

I am absurdly hungover.

God damnit - when do I get my three page breakdown of the Capital One bowl??

The Iceman said...

"Even with the collapse he's MY GUY! If overrated means going to 2 superbowls in 6 years and winning 1, I'll take"

How many of those Super Bowl players were there before he took over, Jeff? Oh, what? All of them? Tomlin literally stumbled into the BEST FUCKING SITUATION EVER. You know it's true because it's true. A fucking chimp could have coached that team in his first 5 years. Now that those Super Bowl pieces are getting gray bush we're seeing what kind of coach Tomlin really is this year. Terrible. The unemployment line is gonna look pretty sweet through aviator sunglasses for in 3 years.

GMoney said...

Oh, Jeff, you stumbled into Iceman's rage trap. Tomlin isn't going anywhere but there are A LOT of issues in that organization now. Watching Suisham miss HUGE field goals brought back a lot of awesome memories.

Dawg, that's some fine celebratin'!

SOMEONE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT GREAT FREEL JOKE!!!

The Iceman said...

"SOMEONE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT GREAT FREEL JOKE!!!"

I would if I cared/knew who that guy was. After searching his Wikipedia page it seems like the only awesome thing this guy ever did was get DUIs.

No talk about Megatron breaking Jerry Rice's record, G$? Figured you would have poo'ed on that by now.

Jeff said...

I happy Ice gets his panties in a bunch over what he thinks is an "overrated" coach coaching his rivals. That's like me ranting how "overrated" Brady Hoke is in 4 years when he's still around and only has one win in a BCS game with Dickies players.

So you're happy Tomlin will be there next year, right?!? Ok, glad we agree on that.

GMoney said...

I did...kind of. It's hard to get fired up over an ELITE player on a 4-11 team. He was a Matt Millen pick!

I wish that Jerome Booger would have kicked Cam's ass. How dare he bump Booger!

I'm a little nervous about the Sunday nighter next week. There is no way in Hell that we can cover Dez. We can't even cover Travis Benjamin. That game is going to pop a YUGE rating.

MuDawgfan said...

I know most of you guys are all buddies from the same home town. I'm assuming on NYD you'll head to Drew's house for the party and to watch the Ohio State bowl game?

Jeff said...

LOLZ at MuDawg, he gots jokes.

Ice Man said...

I am happy Tomlin will be there. You are correct. I'm hoping he stays forever because the guy sucks.

Things I learned from Saturday night:

John Gruden HATES Twitter

John Gruden likes this Joique Bell guy

John Gruden isn't overly impressed with Calvin Johnson's receiving record since Detroit always plays from behind.

Gunther Cunningham is a tough sonofabitch

Jim Schwartz hates Stefan Logan

Anonymous said...

The Ide Fantasy Experience is still rolling in G$. Me vs Buke for the title. Best of all? G$ has to pay both of us. I am also running away with Iceman's pick em league. About that: you rubes are terrible at everything and Im going straight chalk next week. Bling. Bling.

Also, QUADBOX is for the welfare in ELITE. Dut and G$ guve each other pudding kisses.

Ide

GMoney said...

Oh man, Schwartz loathes that Logan guy! That was one awesome kneel down at the four yard line on the safety punt, wasn't it?

Pudding is delicious. RedZone > Ticket. It always will be. Scott Hanson is the best. No one toggles better.

Dawg got great jokes.

Ice Man said...

I hope we can find some kinda loophole that keeps Ide from winning the pickem league. FANTASY JUSTICE!

Prime99 said...

First off, GREAT Ryan Freel joke! Drew Stubbs is on deck...

Next, bow to me MSFL participants!!!! Your king is here. I rolled all of you from start to finish, and I hope it feels great. Murder Panties will return bloodier than ever next year.

In my "other league," I lost by .64 points after the CHI D got -2 for the points scored by the Cardinals on the meaningless blocked FG returned for a TD. It was devastating. $500 swing on one play. My future son's college fund (aka my gambling $$$) is needlessly lighter today, and that sucks.

Grumpy said...

Only pedophiles and hookers on backpage.com take cell phone pics of themselves.

I'm almost glad to have this whole injury riddled, mistake prone season over. Had the Steelers made the playoffs they would have been one and done.

I'm jumping on the Redskins bandwagon.

Ice Man said...

There will be a small post for tomorrow. And by small I mean just a picture with a caption. Stay tuned.

In the wake of my worst fantasy football season ever I still managed to win some money by taking home a title last night. It didn't look good after Marshawn Lynch went fucking HAM in the first quarter of last night's game but nevertheless I prevailed. I'm just going to assume that every league I missed the playoffs in actually didn't have a playoff this year.

Anonymous said...

G$- good luck getting your fantasy $$$ from lil poopson and mr ace! I ain't payin. Also, joke is on you because I filled your light with thumb tacks and herpes. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Mudawg- ill probably just stare at the AP rankings instead of watch pointless non bcs bowl games. After that maybe ill check out cumdumpster.com to check out the latest pictures of your mother.

I went 0-2 in championship games because Arian foster had an irregular heartbeat. A fucking irregular heart beat in the fantasy Super Bowl. Oh we'll... At least I had a $$$ winning fantasy season.

Dut

Anonymous said...

This is going to be one hell of a fantasy week. All teams still have a lot to play for except Packers and Falcons.

Fitty gonna go off. He had a season high 4 points yesterday. And Dez Bryant and Skittles are going to continue their GOAT status this week.

Redzone is for homosexuals that can't pay for DirecTV. Sunday Ticket is the only acceptable form of football entertainment.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Packers are playing for a first-round bye

The Iceman said...

Thanks for that nugget Anon. BREAKING THE HOTTEST FOOTBALL NEWS FIRST ON THE MONEYSHOT!!!

Anonymous said...

I won about $500 in Windsor last night....was gambling until almost 5:30A.M. ELITE night.

Megatron is the ELITE GOAT. Suck a dick Jerry.

--Drew

Prime99 said...

Mike Smith said the Falcons are playing to win because, "it's a division game and division games are important." Uh, ok.

GMoney said...

I finally figured out the in-laws password for their wi-fi:

PAYMENOWDUT

That's a YOU problem. Those guys are paying dues for the second place team.