Friday, December 07, 2012

The 2012 Wiseman Award Goes To...

The creator of this prestigious award
Today, we must give out the most prestigious award that combines both college football and sports blogging. This is the fifth year that we've done this now and I've nailed it on the head each time. You see, this blog has its own version of the Heisman Trophy that we give out. But that award has long since been trademarked by those bastards at the Downtown Athletic Club. So we now officially call this award for college football's best (and most signature) player the "Wiseman Award". It is (obviously) named after Derek Wiseman AKA that weird guy I went to high school with that may or may not have been related to Pickle. I literally have zero to say about him because he added nothing to everything. But I remember him and his last name rhymes with Heisman so here is his 15 minutes of "fame". Past Wiseman Award winners:

2006 - Colt Brennan
2007 - Tim Tebow
2008 - Tim Tebow
2009 - Toby Gerhart
2010 - Cam Newton
2011 – Matt Barkley ROBERT GRIFFIN III

The Heisman voters tend to not give the award to the best player (how Mark Ingram beat out Toby Gerhart, I will never understand). But the Weisman does. After Matt Barkley decided to keep sucking boners in LA over being OVERRATED for the Browns, he was stripped of his Weisman last year in favor of someone truly ELITE. We crushed it two years ago with Cammy Cam Cam. We correctly awarded Tebow back-to-back since Navajo Sam shit the bed in his biggest game 4 years ago. And we ignored Troy Smiff because Colt was an unstoppable force on the football and rape field in 2006.

We don't look entirely at numbers or wins and losses or schedules, we vote with our eyes. Who is kicking the most ass EVERY WEEK. You can't mail-in games against lesser opponents. You curb-stomp those fags just as hard as you would for your rival. This is why Tebow lost out on a 3rd straight Weisman unfortunately. This is why Terrelle Pryor was never be considered (he didn't bring the thunder every week like he should have). Basically, I like to award the Weisman to the player that I will remember the most when I think back about the season. It's time to embrace the best of the best and crown the 2012 Weisman Award winner.

Those who were not invited:
Dri Archer and Kenjon Barner – These are probably the two most electric runnin’ backs in the country.
Jarvis Jones – If we’re going to start crowning linebackers, Jones needs to be recognized as well. He overcame his own thuggery as a youth to be possibly the best defensive player in the country. It’s too bad that he plays on such a choke-y team.
MarQuise Lee – Now that he won’t have to catch footballs covered in jizz anymore, Lee will likely blossom into an uber-stud top 5-worthy pick next year.
Lee Corso – It was a banner year for the pencil executive. He nearly strangled a live duck on air. He shot multiple guns off. He had to have Desmond explain to him who 2Pac was and then asked if he was a poet. And he yelled “fuck” on camera. I’m a big fan of GameDay and Corso may have had his most entertaining year yet in 2012.
Braxton Miller – I was sort of surprised to see #5 not get an invite to New York this weekend but when you look at his season, you’ll see that he probably peaked too early. In fact, Carlos Hyde might have been just as valuable down the stretch as Miller. But Braxton was still pretty terrific this year when he wasn’t throwing Waney Wobblers so I must be fair and give him some credit. I guarantee that the Wiseman voters will never give him this award.  GUARANSHEED.

The invitees:
Jordan Lynch, QB, Northern Illinois – If you can have a season where you set the QB rushing yards record AND lead a MAC school to a BCS Bowl then that might be the greatest non-title season of all time for any player. Lynch really is a terrific player regardless of the competition level that he faces.
Chip Kelly, Coach, Oregon – I don’t give a fuck about the "rules". With all the great sound bites that he gives our Pac-12 North beat reporter, Prime, Chip was a lock for this event.
Collin Klein, QB, Kansas State – Lee Corso may think that his name is Calvin, but there aren’t many players who mean more to their team than Optimus Klein does. He had both the Heisman and the Weisman on lock until he got his brains scrambled and then stopped running the ball over the last month. He is a terrible thrower…Steven Bellomy-terrible.
Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A and M – It sounds like Jonathon Football is going to walk away very happy on Saturday night which would make him the first freshman to ever win the Heisman. That’s great (fart noise). He seems like a good kid with a terrific mugshot but I can’t pull the trigger on him and it has nothing to do with his pizza face. Sure, he has the signature game of all signature games, but I watched those Florida and LSU games and he sucked in both. I reward consistent play with the Weisman Trophy which is the winner is going to make you puke.

The 2012 Winner of The Money Shot’s Wiseman Award is…

Manti Te’o, MLB, Notre Dame
It’s not just because he is the best player on the best team because I am much more of a deep thinker than that. Seriously, when has Notre Dame EVER been known for their defense? The Irish may not be statistically the best defense in the country, but this IS the best defense in the country and the heart and soul of that unit is this year’s Wiseman Award winner.

Te’o appears to be a great kid who had to deal with a lot of tough shit this season and I’m a sucker for a good story (as long as it doesn't come from Tom Rinaldi). The fact is that this defense was great EVERY week…even when the offense gave them no margin for error. They shut down Denard. They embarrassed Landry Jones. They made Matt Barkley fake an injury. They faced a multitude of offenses throughout the season and pooped on all of them. And Te’o led the way every week. I honestly believe that Te’o will be the next Ray Lewis but with smaller eyes and less knife rage.

What do you think? Did the Wiseman voters get it right? Who’s taking home the Heisman tomorrow? Will the Redskins keep it rolling against the Ravens on Sunday?  The answer to that last question is a resounding YES.  Will I win in the G$FL this week to make it 8 for 8 on playoff appearances in fantasy football over the last two years?  Let's hope so.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awful awful pick. Fucking Ryan Shaziers stats shit on Teos. Way to give the award to a MLB with ONE forced fumble on the year. Ya see Brady....this is why you can't root for ND. Their hype machine is so out of control even G$ face plants into it. Unbelievable.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Solid troll post.

Ide

GMoney said...

Oh come on, it's more than that. He has 7 picks as a LB. Does that help? And as the rules state, it isn't based on stats as much as it is consistent ELITE play. I don't see anyone who was more consistently ELITE this season than the Hawaiian Mormon.

Again, when was the last time that Notre Dame had an incredible defense? He's the main reason for that.

You comparing whatever a "Ryan Shazier" is to Te'o is LUDACRIS.

Anyway, Butch Jones to Tennessee confirms that the SEC just got a LOT worse.

Bielema was on Mike and Mike and actually made a lot of sense for why he left. I was not prepared to agree with him. Wisconsin doesn't pay dick to his assistants and he's tired of losing them. Makes sense. Also being able to follow SMILE has to be nice.

MuDawgfan said...

Jones is not a downgrade from Dooley, UT will improve slowly although they still won't play a shit of defense.

How many relatives of Te'o have to die in order for him to be inspired enough to beat Alabama?

Anonymous said...

7 picks as a LB? Whoopty fucking do. How about forced fumbles and sacks? Once again...I'm only comparing Shazier because it shows how OVERRATED Teo is...not because I think Shazier should be up for the Wiseman or Heisman.

FUN TEO FACTS...

He's # 56 in the nation in tackles.

In 2006 Lauranitis had better stats than Teo....AND he had 5 interceptions. Where was his Heisman/Wiseman hype? Fucking nowhere..just like it should have been.

Shazier had 13 more tackles, 11.5 more TFL...let me repeat that...11.5 more TFL...3.5 more sacks...and 3 more forced fumbles. Once again...I'm not saying Shazier should be up for the Heisman/Wiseman either...just saying it shows that Teo definitely should not either.

Teo just isn't that good and he's extremely OVERRATED because he's the only big name on a ND team that is ranked #1 in the nation.

Consider yourself served...you should be embarrassed with yourself...I'm embarrassed for you.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Do you think that I WANTED to give this award to one of Brian Kelly's slaves? No, I did not but he's been the best and most consistently great overall player in a weak season for individual effort.

Hey, that's great that you can fire up google and whatnot but James Laura-whatever's stats don't make Johnny Football un-terrible against Florida and LSU. Nice INCREDIBLY DUMB argument.

Te'o doesn't blitz. You would know this if you watched anything besides bowl ban football. All of you assholes think that you know everything about the game but in reality you watch maybe one or two games as a non-drunk all season.

I am smart. This award is correct. DEAL WITH IT.

Anonymous said...

Ryan Shazier's average tackle 4.3 yards down field...Teo's average tackle 5.1 yards down field. WHAT A GREAT LINEBACKER.

He wasn't even close to "consistently great". LOLZ @ YOU.

Also, he doesn't blitz because he doesn't have ELITE speed.

Awful award.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Oh...and that was an awful hire by Tennessee. There are going to be a lot of suicides in Tennessee today. They got turned down by multiple coaches and then just gave up and hired a guy that was just balancing offers between Purdue and Colorado. I mean....taht is just pathetic.

--Drew

Jeff said...

Might as well give it to the Pitt kicker also. I mean, if he doesn't miss a chippy in OT, Teo has no shot at this award. Teo's "Heisman Moment(s)" belong to a kicker, his girlfriend, and grandmother. DEAL WITH IT!

GMoney said...

You are just too ashamed to admit that a player from Notre Dame is really good. Very few people that matter will agree with you. Let's just give Ryan Shazier the Heisman, the Cy Young, the Belmont Stakes, and the Intercontinental Championship because clearly he is the finest player in world history.

Te'o is the best player and the unquestioned leader of the #1 team in the country whose unit had zero bad games this year. Nothing that you say will change that.

If you want to argue, use Jarvis Jones not your boyfriend. TAKE OFF YOUR OHIO STATE COLORED GLASSES.

I'm growing tired of winning these arguments with you. Why don't you just save us both some time, drive up to Dublin, and let me kick you in the gash for an hour instead.

Ice Man said...

"I honestly believe that Te’o will be the next Ray Lewis but with smaller eyes and less knife rage."

Best prediction ever.

Buckeye fans believe an Ohio player should win this award every year. Just wait until Brady shows up today with his argument why John Simon should have won the Weisman. It will be the worst 5 minutes of your life.

The Heisman continues to be the most horseshit award in the history of awards. I stopped giving a shit about the Heisman after Lawrence Fitzgerald was fucking screwed out of the Heisman back in 2003ish. I think you could easily have given this award to either Alabama running back over Te'o. Alabama would have lost more games than 1 if they relied on the noodle arm of McCarron to carry them to victory.

Anonymous said...

You've actually been destroyed by me today....DEAL WITH IT. The fact that you say we should give Shazier those awards when I repeatedly said that he should NOT be given them shows that your reading ability is somewhat on par with Slow Seal.

I'm sure Jarvis Jones stats shit on Teo too.

John Simon should get Heisman consideration for being the "unquestioned leader" on a undefeated team too! Great reasoning!

I mean...this is really embarrassing for you...it was that bad of a pick and the only thing you can back it up with is his leadership skills since his stats can't do it. LOLZ.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Didn't that LarryFitz Heisman go to Rex Grossman? Wait--that can't be right.

(fires up the google)

JASON WHITE!!! Who the fuck is that? Do you want to know the top ten Heisman guys in 2003? It's a doozy:

1. White
2. LarryFitz
3. ELITE Manning
4. CHRIS PERRY
5. Tiny Darren
6. Leinart
7. Marmalard Rivers
8. Mike Williams
9. Big Ben (I did not know this...he got five first place votes too!)
10. BJ Symons who got ONE first place vote!

GMoney said...

John Simon would get consideration...if he wasn't a roided up bitch who pussed out on his last game.

If not Te'o then who, King Fag? You have provided no other viable option other than Ryan Shazier who you now say is not an option and never was.

I don't know why I would be embarrassed about being one million percent right. Haters gonna hate. That's fine. You lose. Like usual. Keep saying LOLZ. It has lost all meaning because you're a dumb.

Te'o is the best player in the country this year. FACT.

GMoney said...

I also want to address the worst-ness of Jeff who wants to give the Heisman to the Pitt kicker because apparently close games that you win are frowned upon. Makes sense. Didn't Ohio give that horrible Purdue CB who couldn't even guard the shitty Michael Jenkins a championship ring? I mean, after all, without him you guys win nothing in 2002. Right? RIGHT? The worst is Jeff.

OK, here we go:
Whether you think that Te'o is OVERRATED is pointless. It really is. Did anyone think that Notre Dame would be better than 7-5 or maybe 8-4 this year? No. They went undefeated and are ranked #1. NOTRE DAME who can't go to the hood to recruit did this. They haven't done that in a COON'S AGE. They did it with defense and Te'o ran that shit like a non-head-holed Junior Seau. THAT is why he got my award and may get the other one tomorrow night. DEAL WITH IT.

That 30 For 30 on Bo Jackson after the Heisman looks amazing.

MuDawgfan said...

I love Jarvis Jones. He might be the best defensive player UGA has produced since Champ Bailey. He meant the world to a very good Georgia team this year.

However, he should not be up for consideration for the Weisman since he sat two games with an injury.

He's going to rape Nebraska on New Years day and will be drafted in the Top 5 in April. That's not a disappointing place to be.

Jeff said...

No G$,

The ref who threw the PI flag got a championship ring. Get yo FACKS straight.

Anonymous said...

I'd put Clowney, Marquise Lee and Manziel all ahead of Teo. Clowney is the best defensive player in the nation...end of story.

Also, my Wisconsin sources are telling me that Chris Petersen will indeed interviwe for the Badgers job.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

G$,

Based on your criteria, I would say you got it right. If the award goes to someone who has not had a bad game and who is consistently ELITE in all aspects, then Te'o is your guy. If your award is simply for best player, you would be wrong, because Manziel's performance against top competition was very ELITE, but you are correct that he had a couple sub-par games.

I don't understand people who get so caught up in stats for major awards. Although stats can be very convincing, people who solely rely on them are only trying to put in quantifiable terms awards for a sport that is far from quantifiable in most respects. If stats are all that mattered, Troy Smith shouldn't have won the Heisman in 2006 (However, G$, you do lose credibility for naming stat monster Colt Brennan as your 2006 Weisman, despite his relatively sub-par performances against Alabama and UNLV).

The main reason Te'o has the stats he does is becuase of the scheme he is in. The scheme has him roaming the field, reacting, and making plays, rather than blitzing all the time. If he were blitzing all the time he would have more sacks and TFL's, but instead reads/reacts and, as a result, has 7 ints (insane for a LB). Moreover, there is no need for Te'o to be a blizting machine, considering the ND defense has had no problem stopping to run (4th NCAA) or sacking the QB (13th NCAA). His ability to simply go out there and lock down the middle of the field is what has allowed ND to do so many things elsewhere.

Regarding Shazier: Shazier led the team in arm tackles and not wrapping up, which led to many huge plays earlier in the season. However, he did finish the season in monster fashion and is likely to be an All-American next year.

Regarding Laurinitis: Laurinatis was OVERRATED. Granted, he was always around the ball, but many of his tackles were made 5 yards downfield falling backwards, because he couldn't shed a block. Moreover, he was a habitual pile jumper. AJ Hawk was the best NCAA LB I have ever seen in my cognisant memory. He was sideline to sideline, couldn't be blocked and never missed tackles. The fact that Laurinitis gets compared to him frustrates the hell out of me.

-Lil' Strut

Jeff said...

Katzenmoyer was better than Hawk.

Ice Man said...

It's weird that Hawk was a better college linebacker yet Laurinitis is a better pro. FACT?

Anonymous said...

Ice Man...FACT.

Lil' Strut...there are LB's every year with 7 INT's...it's not that "insane".

--Drew

GMoney said...

Thank you, LS, for setting aside your Notre Dame fandom to completely destroy Drew's dumb argument. The haters don't understand things like scheme and technique and leadership like winners such as you and I do.

I'm OK with John Q. Football winning the Heisman just as long as voters base their vote on his shirtless mugshot.

Colt got the initial award before his terrible Sugar Bowl performance so don't penalize me for that. He also got a bump because Hawaii was something like 1000-0 against the spread that year.

Lauranitis was very Buke-like then (which makes him Ray Lewis-like)? See a pile, jump on it, get a half tackle!

Anonymous said...

I won't deny Laurinaitis has had a better pro career than Hawk. I was only referencing their college careers, which is evident from my comment.

Considering Te'o is tied for 2nd in the NCAA in interceptions as a LB and only 4 players in the entire country have 7 or more interceptions, I would say his INT total is insane.

Is "insane" on its way to being "INSANE"?!

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

THOSE OTHER LINEBACKERS WITH 7 INT AREN'T PLAYING THIS YEAR!!! Plus, no one believes that t picks by a LB is just garden variety everyday football. Stop comparing the past with today because it does not matter at all. Now please admit that LS just murdered your mind.

Anonymous said...

Nope...LS is guilty of putting the pussy on a pedestal and that's why he's a ND slappy now. I feel bad for him.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I actually am going to admit a mistake. I gave the Wiseman to Te'o but that was before I had all of the information. It should have went to Duke Silver. It's cold outside but it's all warm up in my jazz.

Prime99 said...

Te'o is good, but he's no Tim Tenor or Chip Kelly. Raffi from the League also deserves consideration. GATTACA!

Brady said...

Booooooo! Shazier leads Te'o in almost every defensive category and never had one ounce of love from the media. Sorry if this echoes someone else but I'm only dropping in for a quick comment.

It has to go to Manziel. His numbers are ridiculous. I get many people won't vote for him because of his Frosh status but his stats blow away Cam and Tenor from their heisman years. Just give it to the kid.

Ice Man said...

Damman thinks the Heisman should go to his favorite player...Jordan Kovacs.

Ice Man said...

Brady's Heisman invite list for 2013:

Braxton Miller
Carlos Hyde
Ryan Shazier
Devin Smith

Jim Lachey probably has the same list...

Anonymous said...

Iceman...I'd tune into that Heisman presentation!

--Drew

Ice Man said...

It seems as though I TOTES agree with the 2010 Iceman on the Heisman trophy.

"The Heisman started being gay and has not returned from homo status ever since Jason White beat Larry Fitzgerald out for the Heisman in 2003"

At least I'm consistant.

GMoney said...

Except at spelling where you are far from CONSISTENT. Way to not be CEREBRAL. Enjoy the headphones!

Anonymous said...

Kovacs should indeed win the Wiseman. He's white, scrappy and a former walk on. That equals greatness no matter how you slice it.

Teo would not even be INVITED to either the Wiseman or Heisman if he did not play for ND. In the words of Trev Alberts, "That's a Fact!"

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Heisman is going to a freshman or a defensive player. The media has decided this already.

So how can you argue with everyone in the media who says its either Teo or Manzel? Leadership qualities are always extremely underrated. Pryor was an elite talent but a huge SHITBAG. No one wants to take orders from Terrlle Pryor, you know, because he kills people, you kill people, errybody steal from errrbody.

Personally if you breakin records set by past Wesiman winners CAMMY CAM and TENOR, how can it not go to the Doug Flutie of the SEC who is a 5'9 freshman and hung Bamas only loss on them in embarrassing fashion. Mind you his two other loses were to top 5 teams this year. I don't think ND played 3 top 5 teams this year, and we all know they are a serious DOG to bama in the championship game.

So my vote would go to Manzel.

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

Lauranitis was a HUGE fan of the tackle 7 yds down field/fall on the pile and get a cheap half tackle.

-Damman

Ice Man said...

"Except at spelling where you are far from CONSISTENT"

WOAH!!! GRAMMAR POLICE!!! Don't you have some posts to troll on Facebook, Mrs. Nelson?

Prime99 said...

Speaking of CONSISTENT- how exactly do you spell the name of your award? Wiseman or Weisman? I've seen both versions based on the links you posted today. So which is it?!?

GMoney said...

It rotates. No more questions.

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