|The creator of this prestigious award|
2006 - Colt Brennan
2007 - Tim Tebow
2008 - Tim Tebow
2009 - Toby Gerhart
2010 - Cam Newton
The Heisman voters tend to not give the award to the best player (how Mark Ingram beat out Toby Gerhart, I will never understand). But the Weisman does. After Matt Barkley decided to keep sucking boners in LA over being OVERRATED for the Browns, he was stripped of his Weisman last year in favor of someone truly ELITE. We crushed it two years ago with Cammy Cam Cam. We correctly awarded Tebow back-to-back since Navajo Sam shit the bed in his biggest game 4 years ago. And we ignored Troy Smiff because Colt was an unstoppable force on the football and rape field in 2006.
We don't look entirely at numbers or wins and losses or schedules, we vote with our eyes. Who is kicking the most ass EVERY WEEK. You can't mail-in games against lesser opponents. You curb-stomp those fags just as hard as you would for your rival. This is why Tebow lost out on a 3rd straight Weisman unfortunately. This is why Terrelle Pryor was never be considered (he didn't bring the thunder every week like he should have). Basically, I like to award the Weisman to the player that I will remember the most when I think back about the season. It's time to embrace the best of the best and crown the 2012 Weisman Award winner.
Those who were not invited:
Dri Archer and Kenjon Barner – These are probably the two most electric runnin’ backs in the country.
Jarvis Jones – If we’re going to start crowning linebackers, Jones needs to be recognized as well. He overcame his own thuggery as a youth to be possibly the best defensive player in the country. It’s too bad that he plays on such a choke-y team.
MarQuise Lee – Now that he won’t have to catch footballs covered in jizz anymore, Lee will likely blossom into an uber-stud top 5-worthy pick next year.
Lee Corso – It was a banner year for the pencil executive. He nearly strangled a live duck on air. He shot multiple guns off. He had to have Desmond explain to him who 2Pac was and then asked if he was a poet. And he yelled “fuck” on camera. I’m a big fan of GameDay and Corso may have had his most entertaining year yet in 2012.
Braxton Miller – I was sort of surprised to see #5 not get an invite to New York this weekend but when you look at his season, you’ll see that he probably peaked too early. In fact, Carlos Hyde might have been just as valuable down the stretch as Miller. But Braxton was still pretty terrific this year when he wasn’t throwing Waney Wobblers so I must be fair and give him some credit. I guarantee that the Wiseman voters will never give him this award. GUARANSHEED.
Jordan Lynch, QB, Northern Illinois – If you can have a season where you set the QB rushing yards record AND lead a MAC school to a BCS Bowl then that might be the greatest non-title season of all time for any player. Lynch really is a terrific player regardless of the competition level that he faces.
Chip Kelly, Coach, Oregon – I don’t give a fuck about the "rules". With all the great sound bites that he gives our Pac-12 North beat reporter, Prime, Chip was a lock for this event.
Collin Klein, QB, Kansas State – Lee Corso may think that his name is Calvin, but there aren’t many players who mean more to their team than Optimus Klein does. He had both the Heisman and the Weisman on lock until he got his brains scrambled and then stopped running the ball over the last month. He is a terrible thrower…Steven Bellomy-terrible.
Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A and M – It sounds like Jonathon Football is going to walk away very happy on Saturday night which would make him the first freshman to ever win the Heisman. That’s great (fart noise). He seems like a good kid with a terrific mugshot but I can’t pull the trigger on him and it has nothing to do with his pizza face. Sure, he has the signature game of all signature games, but I watched those Florida and LSU games and he sucked in both. I reward consistent play with the Weisman Trophy which is the winner is going to make you puke.
The 2012 Winner of The Money Shot’s Wiseman Award is…
Manti Te’o, MLB, Notre Dame
It’s not just because he is the best player on the best team because I am much more of a deep thinker than that. Seriously, when has Notre Dame EVER been known for their defense? The Irish may not be statistically the best defense in the country, but this IS the best defense in the country and the heart and soul of that unit is this year’s Wiseman Award winner.
Te’o appears to be a great kid who had to deal with a lot of tough shit this season and I’m a sucker for a good story (as long as it doesn't come from Tom Rinaldi). The fact is that this defense was great EVERY week…even when the offense gave them no margin for error. They shut down Denard. They embarrassed Landry Jones. They made Matt Barkley fake an injury. They faced a multitude of offenses throughout the season and pooped on all of them. And Te’o led the way every week. I honestly believe that Te’o will be the next Ray Lewis but with smaller eyes and less knife rage.
What do you think? Did the Wiseman voters get it right? Who’s taking home the Heisman tomorrow? Will the Redskins keep it rolling against the Ravens on Sunday? The answer to that last question is a resounding YES. Will I win in the G$FL this week to make it 8 for 8 on playoff appearances in fantasy football over the last two years? Let's hope so.